May 27, 2009 10:18
I'm in love. Deeply, truly, frighteningly and overwhelmingly in love.
And he loves me just as much.
We're going to get married someday. It's odd how sure I am of this, being Miss Cynical of 1990. I've always been a hopeless romantic, big fan of disney movies, blah blah blah... who acknowledged that this was never going to happen. Who was absolutely positive that love existed, but "true love"? Fireworks and hearts and passion? No. Not so much. And especially not for me. I've known since I was 12 what I was gonna do with my life. Finish college, move back to NY, get a basic job to pay the rent while trying to make it as an actor. After maybe a decade, once I was settled and could support myself well enough, I would adopt a child. After a few years I'd know if I wanted another (two tops. more is crazy talk). If I managed to meet someone I was very fond of - maybe even loved - along the way, then I would settle down with him or her.
Then in December I met someone. I met Significant Other. On January 2nd he asked me out. And within only weeks we knew each other better than we thought was possible. I tried to think of it in the most logical way possible: I mean, 19 year olds don't fall in love, right? This is ridiculous! But gradually, those things were explained away. Gradually I saw the truth: that I love him, and no amount of self-inflicted pseudo-logical cynicism can stop that.
Hell, the only reasons we're not married right now is because 1) we've only been together a few months, that would be crazy, 2) I'm 19, we're trying really hard to take things slow as we can... which isn't very slow at all, and 3) neither of us is financially stable.
We're going to move in together in a few weeks. Find an apartment - 1 bedroom or studio - and he's helping me get a job at Starbucks.
I'm happier than I ever thought was possible.
So the thought that ignorant people could deny us or anyone else that happiness disgusts and pains me beyond the telling of it. If the marriage of gays and lesbians isn't valid in this country, then how can ANY marriage be valid? How can the government discriminate, while calling itself "fair" and "just" and a million other adjectives, while denying basic human rights?
For quite a while I looked at this as an issue involving just the LGBT community. And being bisexual, it broke my heart that I wouldn't be able to marry the woman I loved, if I ever found her. Moreover, that close friends wouldn't attend said wedding (were it legal) because of their own prejudices.
Now that I've found someone so deeply important to me - someone I fully intend to spend the rest of my life with - it's about everyone. They're denying marriage to some, and therefore to all. And I hate to have my love for Significant Other invalidated just because ignorant voters and judges thought it only affected some. If it hurts one of us, it hurts all of us. Not gays or lesbians. Not whites or blacks. Americans. If you deny rights to one of us, you deny them to all of us.
I pray this ends soon.
lesbian,
epicfail,
bisexual,
gay,
vote,
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