(no subject)
thank God for my sister. everything was just bearing down on me today and i was so depressed... while i was giving this kid a makeup listening exam, i was all crying and trying to pretend that i wasn't and was sounding mary poppins-like about the whole thing to disguise it... bah. we had to dance in opera rehearsal today. not only did i make a general ass of myself and then a spectacle of myself when i started having a nervous breakdown about it, but i also fell. in front of EVERYBODY, of course. right on the place where i got my steroid shot on friday. i can't sit down. i have an incredibly violent reaction to having to dance, as anybody who was in chamber choir with me knows. years of humiliation in gym, in softball, in any sort of physical coordination situation come flooding back, and i basically just flip out and start yelling and crying and threatening people. i imagine it's quite scary.
plus, there's the usual other bullshit...just as you decide you aren't dealing with men, they crop up, but in new frustrating ways...you can see, but you can't touch. every conceivable permutation of that. fucking shit. and other phrases like that.
the point is, though, that my sister understood all of it AND made me feel better. how does she do that?
so next week is spring break. it's about fucking time. anybody want to do anything?
plus, there's the usual other bullshit...just as you decide you aren't dealing with men, they crop up, but in new frustrating ways...you can see, but you can't touch. every conceivable permutation of that. fucking shit. and other phrases like that.
the point is, though, that my sister understood all of it AND made me feel better. how does she do that?
so next week is spring break. it's about fucking time. anybody want to do anything?