Shadow
Shadow is my cat, my parents cat, that is. He's 21, positively ancient for a cat. He's not doing well. We're taking him to the vet tomorrow, which will probably be the last time I see him. As I write this I'm starting to cry. It's hard to see something you love so much deteriorate the way he has these past few days. He isn't eating, and he can't walk at all anymore. The few times he's gotten up have been to go to his litter box, and even then he's only able to take a few wobbly steps. We've been carrying him. It breaks my heart to see him fade away. He's been lying on his blanket at the top of the stairs, looking sad and despondent. I wish we could have taken him to the vet days ago when this started, but it being Christmas, they were not open. It might seem silly to many to care so much for a cat. He's only a cat right? Not at all, he's been a part of my family for as long as I can remember. He used to sleep on my bed at night and I'd tell him secrets. He's a better listener than anybody. I'd ask him questions and he'd answer in flips of his tail. I've long claimed to like him more than most people, and I think that it still holds true. He's been such a presence in my house that I'm not sure what it's going to be like without him. Part of me is hoping that they'll give us some pill or treatment that will make him better and he'll live to see another year, but I know that it probably won't happen. And if it does, what kind of a life will it be? Should we do something which prolongs his life a few months, only to have to see him further fade away? I don't want to see that happen. I want him to live a good life. He did, and it's tearing me up inside to think that he might not be happy. Do cats have emotions? I don't know, but I have emotions, and they hinge on me believing that he's living happily. I can't see how he's doing that right now. I know he won't come home tomorrow. I feel that I should be able to face this reality, I'm an adult now... but I'm finding it hard. I guess age doesn't make losing a loved one, even of the feline variety, any easier.