FIC: In Your Eyes 2
Title: In Your Eyes
Author: ophelia7rose
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Queer as Folk (US)
Pairing: Brian/Mikey
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Brian trying to be romantic.
Summary: Ben asks Michael to marry him but Brian knows it isn’t really what Michael wants so he decides to give Michael exactly what he does want, even at the sake of his own happiness.
Disclaimer: The demi-God Russell T Davis created the world of QaF, not me. I don’t own any of the characters. I am in no way associated with Queer as Folk, Showtime or Channel 4 and make no money from this.
Chapter 2
“This is probably the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, Novotny,” Michael told himself as he climbed up Brian’s stairs. What the hell did he think this was going to achieve? Sitting in a restaurant with Brian for an hour wasn’t going to change anything, it wasn’t going to re-write their past. And what about Ben? Michael had never known anyone as loving and supportive as Ben. Michael did love him, but it was like Brian had said, Michael would always love him more. And because of that Here he was, risking his entire future to placate some deep seated fear Brian had about being losing him.
He stopped in front of Brian’s door and rested his head on the cool metal. At this rate he was not only going to ruin things with Ben but fuck up his friendship with Brian too. But that voice was there again, the one that wanted to believe in fairy tales and happily ever afters, telling him that maybe if Brian got a taste of how life could be with Michael as his boyfriend then he would learn to like it. He hated that little voice, he wanted to tell it to grow up.
“I thought you were here to date me, not my door,” Brian said from somewhere behind him, making him jump. Michael lifted his head from the door and turned to look behind him.
“Brian?” Michael turned to the door opposite, the one he had always assumed was a small storage room. Brian was standing in the open doorway and Michael could see a set of stairs behind him. “Where do they go?”
Brian just smiled at him. He was wearing nothing more than a pair of stone-washed jeans and a black wife-beater, he was bare footed and looked so gorgeous that Michael felt his inner fourteen year old get an erection.
“Hi,” he just said, his eyes glued to Brian’s firm stomach, which the wife-beater was clinging to. He had seen Brian dressed like this, or similar, many times, but everything felt a little bit different now.
Brian smirked, knowing full well the effect he had on Michael, had always had on Michael. He held out his hand and instantly Michael moved forward to take it. “Where are we going? What’s up there?”
“The roof,” Brian informed him, leading the way.
When the reached the top of the stairs Michael stood frozen in the door way at the sight that was laid out before him.
It was a hot evening and the sun had set, the roof top was glowing with candles and in the middle sat a blanket and some big cushions, the ones from Brian’s loft, he realised. There was a low table that Michael didn’t recognise that was filled with Chinese food and two champagne glasses. His eyes then darted to the ice bucket beside the table, which held the champagne. Chinese and champagne, only Brian would think of mixing the two.
He watched as Brian walked over to the table and picked up a single red rose before walking back to him. Stunned he took the offered flower and held it to his chest.
“Well?” Brian finally asked after too long in silence. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I um… wow… this is um… wow,” he stuttered, making Brian snort. It was just a few candles, some take out and a flower, and yet it seemed to do the trick as Michael’s face broke into a soft smile.
“Come and sit down,” he told Michael, leading him over to one of the large cushions.
“So, this is our date?” Michael asked as he sat down with his legs under him, placing the rose very carefully down beside him.
“First of many, I hope,” Brian told him as he reached for the champagne and expertly popped the cork. It frothed up slightly and some ran down his hand. He quickly brought it up to his lips and licked it, his eyes locking with Michael’s as he did. He could practically hear Michael gulp.
Brian poured them both a glass and found himself looking deep into Michael’s eyes, the way the candle light reflected in them made them look even deeper and more soulful than they usually did. He had never took the time to notice just how beautiful Michael’s eyes were before, but then again Brian Kinney wasn’t usually looking at men’s eyes, he was interesting in what was further south.
He had thought about going to Babylon, picking up some random fuck, the last one he would ever have, but he decided against it. It was like a condemned man eating his last meal, what was the point in it? It didn’t change anything. Brian mentally shook himself, just because he wasn’t going to fuck around anymore did not make him condemned. He could never feel like that with Michael around. He shouldn’t feel like that with Michael around.
“Where did you get all these candles?” Michael asked, amused.
“Lesbian down stairs,” Brian answered, scooting closer to Michael. He was torn between acting how he usually did with Michael, which was close and physical anyway, and acting how he would with a trick. Should he start making moves on Michael?
“I guess I have to take back what I said about you, this is very romantic,” Michael told him, sipping nervously at his champagne. In fact it was textbook romantic and it felt a little forced to both of them.
Brian found his hand cupping Michael’s face and he turned the other man to look at him. “I was serious about what I said to you, Michael.” And Michael knew that Brian was indeed serious from the use of his whole name.
Michael nodded and swallowed hard. “But why, why now? Brian, I don’t want you to be with me if it isn’t what you want.”
Brian thought about his answer for a moment, he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to lie to Michael and he didn’t want to play it down either. In the end he went with the truth. “I’ve always wanted you.”
Michael decided to believe that. Brian had come on to him a few times, albeit drunkenly, and Michael guessed that if there hadn’t been feelings involved then Brian would have fucked him long ago.
“I got you your favourite. Singapore rice noodles,” Brian told him, reaching for the carton and a fork, knowing that Michael was never really good with chopsticks, he usually ended up with the stuff all down his shirt.
Michael watched as Brian wound some of the noodles around the fork before feeding it to him. Michael accepted the food and suddenly became aware of how intimate this was. Once again he thought of Ben and hated himself just a little bit.
“How many times you reckon we’ve eaten Chinese food on the floor over the years?” Brian asked him and Michael chuckled.
“Too many to count,” Michael answered, chewing his noodles. “You remember when we got so high that we went down to Woodys and played for everyone.
Brian laughed and reached for another carton, opening it up and leaning back on his elbow to get more comfortable. “Fuck, what were we thinking?”
Michael laughed and mimicked Brian by half lying down. “We sounded pretty good I thought.”
“Yeah, that’s what being high does to you, Mikey, makes you think you’re good at something when really you aren’t,” Brian told him, wrapping more noodles around his fork and feeding it to Michael again. He liked this, he enjoyed looking at Michael’s lips and tongue as he took the food and the way his eyes locked with Brian’s almost shyly for just a second. Yeah, Brian liked this very much, he wasn’t about to hand over Michael’s food to him, he would have to be fed.
“You were there for me, that night, I felt… I felt like it was all over, everything I worked so hard for was over, you were all I had left,” Brian told him honestly, suddenly wishing they were standing so he could hug Michael and feel his warm body against his own.
Michael wanted to lighten the moment, it was getting too serious and he wasn’t sure he could do that just yet. “Poor you. Left with nothing but me. Probably couldn’t even have sold me.”
Brian wouldn’t let him joke it away however. He reached out his hand and threaded it through Michael’s hair. “It was enough for me. Even if I had nothing else in the world but you, I’d consider myself rich.”
Michael looked at Brian long and hare. He felt like his heart was going to give out, it was racing a mile a minute. What the hell was going on here? What was he supposed to do. Brian wanted to date Michael, Ben wanted to marry him. It was all too much, too confusing. Why couldn’t everything have stayed as it was. He was safe then, it was easy.
“Michael?” Brian asked when he noticed that Michael seemed to be breathing harder, his face pale. “Michael?” he asked again, this time a little louder.
He did what he usually did when Michael was upset or working himself into a state, he took the slighter man into his arms and held him tightly against his chest.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of Michael’s neck. “I know I’ve thrown you through a loop here, I know it’s a lot to take in, but I want to be with you. I want us to be together. I’m not backing off, Michael. This? This is for good,” he assured him before moving his mouth from Michael’s neck to his lips, kissing him slowly, his hands stroking Michael’s face tenderly.
Michael kissed Brian back, his eyes closing tightly to stop the burning tears that he felt coming. He was cheating on his boyfriend with the love of his life, it felt so right and so wrong at the same time and he didn’t know what to do. With Ben it was safe. He had a safe bet that Ben would stay with him. But Brian had just promised that he wanted the same.
They had kissed before of course, many times, but this time Brian wasn’t holding back like he used to. He all but crushed Michael against his body, loving the feel of heat radiating from his chest. When Michael pulled back quickly, looking even more spooked than he had before, Brian stroked his face, placing little kisses all over it.
“Don’t marry Ben,” he whispered desperately. Michael closed his eyes again, feeling his heart break and soar at the same time. Without thinking about his answer, and with no strength to stop himself, he found himself promising, “I won’t.”
TBC
Author: ophelia7rose
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Queer as Folk (US)
Pairing: Brian/Mikey
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Brian trying to be romantic.
Summary: Ben asks Michael to marry him but Brian knows it isn’t really what Michael wants so he decides to give Michael exactly what he does want, even at the sake of his own happiness.
Disclaimer: The demi-God Russell T Davis created the world of QaF, not me. I don’t own any of the characters. I am in no way associated with Queer as Folk, Showtime or Channel 4 and make no money from this.
Chapter 2
“This is probably the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, Novotny,” Michael told himself as he climbed up Brian’s stairs. What the hell did he think this was going to achieve? Sitting in a restaurant with Brian for an hour wasn’t going to change anything, it wasn’t going to re-write their past. And what about Ben? Michael had never known anyone as loving and supportive as Ben. Michael did love him, but it was like Brian had said, Michael would always love him more. And because of that Here he was, risking his entire future to placate some deep seated fear Brian had about being losing him.
He stopped in front of Brian’s door and rested his head on the cool metal. At this rate he was not only going to ruin things with Ben but fuck up his friendship with Brian too. But that voice was there again, the one that wanted to believe in fairy tales and happily ever afters, telling him that maybe if Brian got a taste of how life could be with Michael as his boyfriend then he would learn to like it. He hated that little voice, he wanted to tell it to grow up.
“I thought you were here to date me, not my door,” Brian said from somewhere behind him, making him jump. Michael lifted his head from the door and turned to look behind him.
“Brian?” Michael turned to the door opposite, the one he had always assumed was a small storage room. Brian was standing in the open doorway and Michael could see a set of stairs behind him. “Where do they go?”
Brian just smiled at him. He was wearing nothing more than a pair of stone-washed jeans and a black wife-beater, he was bare footed and looked so gorgeous that Michael felt his inner fourteen year old get an erection.
“Hi,” he just said, his eyes glued to Brian’s firm stomach, which the wife-beater was clinging to. He had seen Brian dressed like this, or similar, many times, but everything felt a little bit different now.
Brian smirked, knowing full well the effect he had on Michael, had always had on Michael. He held out his hand and instantly Michael moved forward to take it. “Where are we going? What’s up there?”
“The roof,” Brian informed him, leading the way.
When the reached the top of the stairs Michael stood frozen in the door way at the sight that was laid out before him.
It was a hot evening and the sun had set, the roof top was glowing with candles and in the middle sat a blanket and some big cushions, the ones from Brian’s loft, he realised. There was a low table that Michael didn’t recognise that was filled with Chinese food and two champagne glasses. His eyes then darted to the ice bucket beside the table, which held the champagne. Chinese and champagne, only Brian would think of mixing the two.
He watched as Brian walked over to the table and picked up a single red rose before walking back to him. Stunned he took the offered flower and held it to his chest.
“Well?” Brian finally asked after too long in silence. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I um… wow… this is um… wow,” he stuttered, making Brian snort. It was just a few candles, some take out and a flower, and yet it seemed to do the trick as Michael’s face broke into a soft smile.
“Come and sit down,” he told Michael, leading him over to one of the large cushions.
“So, this is our date?” Michael asked as he sat down with his legs under him, placing the rose very carefully down beside him.
“First of many, I hope,” Brian told him as he reached for the champagne and expertly popped the cork. It frothed up slightly and some ran down his hand. He quickly brought it up to his lips and licked it, his eyes locking with Michael’s as he did. He could practically hear Michael gulp.
Brian poured them both a glass and found himself looking deep into Michael’s eyes, the way the candle light reflected in them made them look even deeper and more soulful than they usually did. He had never took the time to notice just how beautiful Michael’s eyes were before, but then again Brian Kinney wasn’t usually looking at men’s eyes, he was interesting in what was further south.
He had thought about going to Babylon, picking up some random fuck, the last one he would ever have, but he decided against it. It was like a condemned man eating his last meal, what was the point in it? It didn’t change anything. Brian mentally shook himself, just because he wasn’t going to fuck around anymore did not make him condemned. He could never feel like that with Michael around. He shouldn’t feel like that with Michael around.
“Where did you get all these candles?” Michael asked, amused.
“Lesbian down stairs,” Brian answered, scooting closer to Michael. He was torn between acting how he usually did with Michael, which was close and physical anyway, and acting how he would with a trick. Should he start making moves on Michael?
“I guess I have to take back what I said about you, this is very romantic,” Michael told him, sipping nervously at his champagne. In fact it was textbook romantic and it felt a little forced to both of them.
Brian found his hand cupping Michael’s face and he turned the other man to look at him. “I was serious about what I said to you, Michael.” And Michael knew that Brian was indeed serious from the use of his whole name.
Michael nodded and swallowed hard. “But why, why now? Brian, I don’t want you to be with me if it isn’t what you want.”
Brian thought about his answer for a moment, he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to lie to Michael and he didn’t want to play it down either. In the end he went with the truth. “I’ve always wanted you.”
Michael decided to believe that. Brian had come on to him a few times, albeit drunkenly, and Michael guessed that if there hadn’t been feelings involved then Brian would have fucked him long ago.
“I got you your favourite. Singapore rice noodles,” Brian told him, reaching for the carton and a fork, knowing that Michael was never really good with chopsticks, he usually ended up with the stuff all down his shirt.
Michael watched as Brian wound some of the noodles around the fork before feeding it to him. Michael accepted the food and suddenly became aware of how intimate this was. Once again he thought of Ben and hated himself just a little bit.
“How many times you reckon we’ve eaten Chinese food on the floor over the years?” Brian asked him and Michael chuckled.
“Too many to count,” Michael answered, chewing his noodles. “You remember when we got so high that we went down to Woodys and played for everyone.
Brian laughed and reached for another carton, opening it up and leaning back on his elbow to get more comfortable. “Fuck, what were we thinking?”
Michael laughed and mimicked Brian by half lying down. “We sounded pretty good I thought.”
“Yeah, that’s what being high does to you, Mikey, makes you think you’re good at something when really you aren’t,” Brian told him, wrapping more noodles around his fork and feeding it to Michael again. He liked this, he enjoyed looking at Michael’s lips and tongue as he took the food and the way his eyes locked with Brian’s almost shyly for just a second. Yeah, Brian liked this very much, he wasn’t about to hand over Michael’s food to him, he would have to be fed.
“You were there for me, that night, I felt… I felt like it was all over, everything I worked so hard for was over, you were all I had left,” Brian told him honestly, suddenly wishing they were standing so he could hug Michael and feel his warm body against his own.
Michael wanted to lighten the moment, it was getting too serious and he wasn’t sure he could do that just yet. “Poor you. Left with nothing but me. Probably couldn’t even have sold me.”
Brian wouldn’t let him joke it away however. He reached out his hand and threaded it through Michael’s hair. “It was enough for me. Even if I had nothing else in the world but you, I’d consider myself rich.”
Michael looked at Brian long and hare. He felt like his heart was going to give out, it was racing a mile a minute. What the hell was going on here? What was he supposed to do. Brian wanted to date Michael, Ben wanted to marry him. It was all too much, too confusing. Why couldn’t everything have stayed as it was. He was safe then, it was easy.
“Michael?” Brian asked when he noticed that Michael seemed to be breathing harder, his face pale. “Michael?” he asked again, this time a little louder.
He did what he usually did when Michael was upset or working himself into a state, he took the slighter man into his arms and held him tightly against his chest.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of Michael’s neck. “I know I’ve thrown you through a loop here, I know it’s a lot to take in, but I want to be with you. I want us to be together. I’m not backing off, Michael. This? This is for good,” he assured him before moving his mouth from Michael’s neck to his lips, kissing him slowly, his hands stroking Michael’s face tenderly.
Michael kissed Brian back, his eyes closing tightly to stop the burning tears that he felt coming. He was cheating on his boyfriend with the love of his life, it felt so right and so wrong at the same time and he didn’t know what to do. With Ben it was safe. He had a safe bet that Ben would stay with him. But Brian had just promised that he wanted the same.
They had kissed before of course, many times, but this time Brian wasn’t holding back like he used to. He all but crushed Michael against his body, loving the feel of heat radiating from his chest. When Michael pulled back quickly, looking even more spooked than he had before, Brian stroked his face, placing little kisses all over it.
“Don’t marry Ben,” he whispered desperately. Michael closed his eyes again, feeling his heart break and soar at the same time. Without thinking about his answer, and with no strength to stop himself, he found himself promising, “I won’t.”
TBC