[Generation Kill] [Brad/Nate Genderswap] The Right Things To Say
Title: The Right Things To Say
Subject: Generation Kill | Brad/Nate, vaguely implied Ray/Walt - all genderswapped.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: An out of place puzzle piece.
Notes: Inspired by this poem and also the prompt genderswap from delamuse. For reference - Nate -> Nat(alie), Brad -> Bri(anne), Ray -> Rae, Walt -> Wallis. Also the USMC is ALL LADIES ALL THE TIME.
WC: 416
She's never quite sure where she fits in with Bri, with her cool confidence, with her honesty, with her quick witted intelligence now that she's out of the Corps. It had been easier then, a Lieutenant and a Sergeant, perfectly clear parameters in which to operate. There'd always been a little blurring of the lines; Bri had more experience after all, a little more on the job knowledge but still, she'd still been in charge.
It's not about power, it's not, it's about knowing where she stands. It's easier for everyone else; Rae's the annoying best friend, if Bri ever were to have a best friend, and Wallis balances Rae out, and Nat stands at the edges, sleeves too long, feeling too young, a roil of feelings she's compartmentalized and tries to ignore deep in her stomach.
It's easier when Bri goes back to Iraq; she's the friend waiting, except Bri doesn't have friends. The feelings don't go away, but they're easier to cope with when she doesn't hear Bri or see Bri, when she's got things to do and people to distract her, when the ache to touch and to tell can't be there because there's noone to touch and noone to tell. It's easier when Bri gets back and meets a man, tall and clever just like her, a match for her in the way nobody else is, just as anti-social and quietly angry as Bri and Nat can't help but think they're perfect and I'm glad for you, don't look at me like that Bri, it's great and she doesn't choke, ever, because she's better than that, better than the hard point in her throat that wants to say no, it's awful because he's not me, Bri, don't you get it? and wants to say you're so intelligent but you're so fucking stupid and she's better than the voice in her head that says of course she knows.
She's better than that and maybe, one day, this will all seem silly. Maybe, one day, she won't feel like a puzzle piece squeezed into the wrong place, a patch of green just like the others, but with round corners when square are called for.
Subject: Generation Kill | Brad/Nate, vaguely implied Ray/Walt - all genderswapped.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: An out of place puzzle piece.
Notes: Inspired by this poem and also the prompt genderswap from delamuse. For reference - Nate -> Nat(alie), Brad -> Bri(anne), Ray -> Rae, Walt -> Wallis. Also the USMC is ALL LADIES ALL THE TIME.
WC: 416
She's never quite sure where she fits in with Bri, with her cool confidence, with her honesty, with her quick witted intelligence now that she's out of the Corps. It had been easier then, a Lieutenant and a Sergeant, perfectly clear parameters in which to operate. There'd always been a little blurring of the lines; Bri had more experience after all, a little more on the job knowledge but still, she'd still been in charge.
It's not about power, it's not, it's about knowing where she stands. It's easier for everyone else; Rae's the annoying best friend, if Bri ever were to have a best friend, and Wallis balances Rae out, and Nat stands at the edges, sleeves too long, feeling too young, a roil of feelings she's compartmentalized and tries to ignore deep in her stomach.
It's easier when Bri goes back to Iraq; she's the friend waiting, except Bri doesn't have friends. The feelings don't go away, but they're easier to cope with when she doesn't hear Bri or see Bri, when she's got things to do and people to distract her, when the ache to touch and to tell can't be there because there's noone to touch and noone to tell. It's easier when Bri gets back and meets a man, tall and clever just like her, a match for her in the way nobody else is, just as anti-social and quietly angry as Bri and Nat can't help but think they're perfect and I'm glad for you, don't look at me like that Bri, it's great and she doesn't choke, ever, because she's better than that, better than the hard point in her throat that wants to say no, it's awful because he's not me, Bri, don't you get it? and wants to say you're so intelligent but you're so fucking stupid and she's better than the voice in her head that says of course she knows.
She's better than that and maybe, one day, this will all seem silly. Maybe, one day, she won't feel like a puzzle piece squeezed into the wrong place, a patch of green just like the others, but with round corners when square are called for.