a three-fold, utopian dream --
you do something to me that i can't explain.
Sometimes the lack of words says it better. When I try to articulate things, I get more lost than when I started out. This makes me want to bury myself into a hole and not talk. Maybe not forever. Just until I figure out what I want to say.
I am terrified. Of being a failure. Of never being enough. Of giving too much of myself. Of expecting too much from other people. Of getting disappointed. Of not meeting someone who sees me in the way I want to be seen. Of meeting him, and never knowing who he was supposed to be to me.
I shut my eyes and saw the following:
Point A and Point B run in two separate lines, on one single plane. They run parallel, never intersecting, both of them reaching for infinity.
Snow covers the entire world. It enters the crevices of old brick buildings, and scanty alleyways, new steel structures, and mile-wide highways. Soon, the waters and the volcanoes stay silent, shivering in the freeze. The earth is one huge snowball.
There is a boy with long hair, a broken ribcage and wings. His eyes, wreathed in ash, burn with something primal. He saunters towards me, with a cock-sure smile, but disappears at the least opportune moment.
In the circus, there is a boy, with his green coat made of peas; a lady who spins string out of stars; a man with a patch of grass on his chest; and, a leopard who was born with heart-shaped spots.