who in the hell is getting me sick
i have a soar and itchy throat.
i have a red scar right in the middle of my face from popping a pimple. yes i pop them!
i spent 4 and a half hours in the darkroom, thinking i only spent 1 hour.
i slept for 2 and a half hours today, thinking i slept all night.
and i feel like a dumb-butt for various reasons.
1st:
i can't concentrate on any of my homework, just for the fact that i can't concentrate. i'll admit, that i got a lot out of the way with writing that essay and finishing my photo project, but i still hafta study massively for sociology and social work, and social work is totally kicking my butt. bleh! and it's making me feel like a dumbass!
2nd:
i got an e-mail yesturday, from someone that i put in the back of my head, a long time ago. well, technically not that long, in fact, i don't even know how long ago i truly got over him. but i know that i haven't really given a shit about it. anyways...he e-mailed me yesturday and basically wrote me a poem and shit, and i appreciate it, but i don't want to hear from him anymore. thinking about what i let him to do me and how dumb i was not to see it coming is making me feel like a dumbass!
3rd:
i spoke to this person who hasn't called me, after i was in a way, expecting a call. i went over there with confidence, because i was pretty much sick of the shit, and just wanted things to go back to normal. and, well....basically he sounded smart and i didn't. he said some things that caught me off guard, and i can put it in words of what i was feeling then, now....but at the time, i just came off like a dumbass. i feel like he is assuming that i'm just this naive-little girl trying to rush into things without really thinking, and in a way, that's partly true (sadly), but not entirely. i think about it now, and getting into a full blown relationship is pretty scary shit. i liked that things were going slow. then he threw me off, and i got scared, and in getting scared, i scared him. not only that, he thinks i still have feelings for my "ex", which, i explained in the last one, I DO NOT! going over there was satisfying, and i'm glad i'm not guessing, and i'm glad i know....but fuck. he made me feel like a dumbass....w/o meaning to...but nonetheless....it all makes me feel like a dumbass.
4th:
I AM NOT A DUMBASS!!! saying this makes me feel like a dumbass! i'm trying to prove to everyone that I AM NOT A DUMBASS and because i'm trying to prove this, makes me even more of a dumbass! Fuck it! as long as i know that i'm not a dumbass, that's what counts right.
I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DAMN GOOD CAKE (with help from friends of course), AND I CAN WRITE A DAMN GOOD ESSAY IN THIRTY MINUTES ABOUT GENDER ROLES ON CHILDREN'S TELEVISION! I AM NOT A DUMBASS!
HA!
i have a red scar right in the middle of my face from popping a pimple. yes i pop them!
i spent 4 and a half hours in the darkroom, thinking i only spent 1 hour.
i slept for 2 and a half hours today, thinking i slept all night.
and i feel like a dumb-butt for various reasons.
1st:
i can't concentrate on any of my homework, just for the fact that i can't concentrate. i'll admit, that i got a lot out of the way with writing that essay and finishing my photo project, but i still hafta study massively for sociology and social work, and social work is totally kicking my butt. bleh! and it's making me feel like a dumbass!
2nd:
i got an e-mail yesturday, from someone that i put in the back of my head, a long time ago. well, technically not that long, in fact, i don't even know how long ago i truly got over him. but i know that i haven't really given a shit about it. anyways...he e-mailed me yesturday and basically wrote me a poem and shit, and i appreciate it, but i don't want to hear from him anymore. thinking about what i let him to do me and how dumb i was not to see it coming is making me feel like a dumbass!
3rd:
i spoke to this person who hasn't called me, after i was in a way, expecting a call. i went over there with confidence, because i was pretty much sick of the shit, and just wanted things to go back to normal. and, well....basically he sounded smart and i didn't. he said some things that caught me off guard, and i can put it in words of what i was feeling then, now....but at the time, i just came off like a dumbass. i feel like he is assuming that i'm just this naive-little girl trying to rush into things without really thinking, and in a way, that's partly true (sadly), but not entirely. i think about it now, and getting into a full blown relationship is pretty scary shit. i liked that things were going slow. then he threw me off, and i got scared, and in getting scared, i scared him. not only that, he thinks i still have feelings for my "ex", which, i explained in the last one, I DO NOT! going over there was satisfying, and i'm glad i'm not guessing, and i'm glad i know....but fuck. he made me feel like a dumbass....w/o meaning to...but nonetheless....it all makes me feel like a dumbass.
4th:
I AM NOT A DUMBASS!!! saying this makes me feel like a dumbass! i'm trying to prove to everyone that I AM NOT A DUMBASS and because i'm trying to prove this, makes me even more of a dumbass! Fuck it! as long as i know that i'm not a dumbass, that's what counts right.
I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DAMN GOOD CAKE (with help from friends of course), AND I CAN WRITE A DAMN GOOD ESSAY IN THIRTY MINUTES ABOUT GENDER ROLES ON CHILDREN'S TELEVISION! I AM NOT A DUMBASS!
HA!