(no subject)
I think it's interesting how life has a way of leading us down paths we never could have imagined. Once upon a time, I thought music was where I was supposed to be. Even as recently as a few years ago. But it never made me feel complete. Honestly, I could take it or leave it. We're not talking levels of enjoyment here. We're talking astronomical levels of passion. I never had that.
When Aimless Priest had that brief flirtation with Warner Brothers, I was along for the ride and high enough most of the time that I just did what was asked of me. I went along with Lang to be supportive. And don't get me wrong, I love my guitar, but given the opportunity to purse something on my own, I never had any interest. It's more than a hobby, but less than a dream.
I guess that was a longass way of saying I’ve approached Lang about...not touring with her. She was understandably really angry because I’d already said I would play. I’d already agreed to be a temporary part of In Leven for a year or two. But I honestly think she doesn’t need me and I could pursue things I want to do. The idea was that I’d be there to hold her hand, metaphorically and otherwise. But she has come so far.
I have a big exam coming up in a few weeks and assuming I pass, I’ll get my certification. My ultimate goal has always been to sign up with the FDNY, but I was thinking this week. There are two options I’m considering. Get my cert, get a job with a private ambulance company and take the civil service exam when it comes around in September and then hopefully get called up. Or, instead of the civil exam, I enroll in a paramedic program at BMCC or LaGuardia. But that’s an actual degree seeking full time 1 to 2 year program. Then if I went on to the FDNY from there, the pay would be better. Neither are the six figures I’m making now.
I got home too late to pick the conversation up again and tonight wasn’t much better. I don’t want her to feel like I’m abandoning her or betraying her somehow.
When Aimless Priest had that brief flirtation with Warner Brothers, I was along for the ride and high enough most of the time that I just did what was asked of me. I went along with Lang to be supportive. And don't get me wrong, I love my guitar, but given the opportunity to purse something on my own, I never had any interest. It's more than a hobby, but less than a dream.
I guess that was a longass way of saying I’ve approached Lang about...not touring with her. She was understandably really angry because I’d already said I would play. I’d already agreed to be a temporary part of In Leven for a year or two. But I honestly think she doesn’t need me and I could pursue things I want to do. The idea was that I’d be there to hold her hand, metaphorically and otherwise. But she has come so far.
I have a big exam coming up in a few weeks and assuming I pass, I’ll get my certification. My ultimate goal has always been to sign up with the FDNY, but I was thinking this week. There are two options I’m considering. Get my cert, get a job with a private ambulance company and take the civil service exam when it comes around in September and then hopefully get called up. Or, instead of the civil exam, I enroll in a paramedic program at BMCC or LaGuardia. But that’s an actual degree seeking full time 1 to 2 year program. Then if I went on to the FDNY from there, the pay would be better. Neither are the six figures I’m making now.
I got home too late to pick the conversation up again and tonight wasn’t much better. I don’t want her to feel like I’m abandoning her or betraying her somehow.