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[openscarf]

I'm having brunch with J later this morning. After his therapy session on Wednesday, where he said he 'was beat up pretty bad and well deservedly' he wrote me a lovely invitation to brunch. His therapist has known him a long time and she called him out on his latest behaviors towards me

Comments

[dadadadio]

"Men don't like to do this, or that. This is how it is with men."

When people give relationship advice like that I want to pull my hair out. It works both ways, they also make generalizations about women that are unfair. We're not robots, we're human. While the genders can run in packs there's also a million flavors, individuals and unique attitudes developed over a lifetime of personal experience. That's what J is dealing with. He is what he is because of where he's been, his journey and environment have shaped him.

I believe we must be tolerant, willing to accept flaws in our partners because no person is perfect. If I cannot forgive those quirks in my partner how can I expect the same from them? You obviously have feelings for J and see qualities that are make him a worthwhile partner, you just have to work with the issues that trouble you. Some can be adjusted, others will never change.

The fact he's in therapy is a HUGE plus. He's willing to work on himself. He accepts that he needs improvement. So many people will never do that, they expect everyone around them to change.

[openscarf]

Agreed it is Huge. I've really never had anyone care for me like that, so I am encouraged and very willing to do my part. Our lives are both short and Long journeys you know?