EMERGENCY MESSAGE

[helixvelecloid]

goddamn, how many times to i have to freakin upload the same freakin explanation to all these sites?? its not like anyone cares. oh well, here goes:

hi, my name is Helix Velecloid. ive already been to this site called furaffinity and more reasearch on the subject brought me here.if you read my bio or whatever, it gets a little strange. so here i am

Comments

[mavinmaverick]

It's interesting...but as others have pointed out already, it would be much more believable if you had run it by an editor first. No history text book, past, present, or future would have that many editorial mistakes. Text books also have a certain tone to them that you didn't quite manage to capture...I know, I read history/polictical/social text books all the time.

So, if you want to try to pull this off, do a lot more research and polishing before you make another attempt. Otherwise...it's a fun concept to play with and do some more writing with. You could probably make something publishable out of it if you really work on it.

Oh, and some further advice. In the comments here you've said multiple times that your mucking about in history doesn't matter, and if you change anything your dad will fix it. If the main premise of your story is playing with history...it should matter. Something disastorous and unfixble (at least easily) should happen. That would be the climax of the story. If nothing bad comes out it, that's really boring for the reader. Do some research on the actually "butterfly effect" (not the cheesy Ashton Kutcher movie).

[helixvelecloid]

I dunno if that'll happen anytime soon. I have school to worry about for the next 5-8 years before I'm ready to call a literacy agent.

[mavinmaverick]

LOL That gives you plenty of time to work on it. Getting a literary agent is the last piece of the puzzel...often after getting a publishing contract. The initial writing is the biggest, most time consuming part.