Dare to Connect
I fell asleep for like three hours on the couch in my office. Now I'm wide awake. Darn. But I'm gonna force myself to go to sleep. Stacey is in Boston tonight, so it's kind of lonely here. Even though we're so busy and don't always get to talk lots in the evening, at least we're together in the same place.
Spent some time packing tonight, then spent a few minutes on IM. Spoke to some very special people. I love my students. Anyway, I found this online. Some guy named Walter Rader had notes on my favorite book, Dare to Connect. Here's his summary of chapter 1...
You should read this ... it's really good!!!
Connection is made easier when we approach other people with the primary purpose of making THEM feel better about themselves. Why don't we approach other people? Because we're shy? Fear rejection? Fear that we're not good enough? Fear that we'll have nothing to say? That's because we're only thinking about ourselves! We're not thinking that maybe that person is lonely and wants someone to talk to or that maybe we can make them feel really good about themselves. We are so worried about the way we appear to that other person that we cannot "see" that they may be needing something from us, even if it's only the reasurrance of a smile. Rejection never feels good, but it's a lot easier to take when we don't need anything from the person. If we're treated unkindly, we're learning about their insecurities. Secure people are friendly no matter what. Keep an interaction log. Ask yourself the following questions:
Comments?
Love, ~Shimmy~
Spent some time packing tonight, then spent a few minutes on IM. Spoke to some very special people. I love my students. Anyway, I found this online. Some guy named Walter Rader had notes on my favorite book, Dare to Connect. Here's his summary of chapter 1...
You should read this ... it's really good!!!
Connection is made easier when we approach other people with the primary purpose of making THEM feel better about themselves. Why don't we approach other people? Because we're shy? Fear rejection? Fear that we're not good enough? Fear that we'll have nothing to say? That's because we're only thinking about ourselves! We're not thinking that maybe that person is lonely and wants someone to talk to or that maybe we can make them feel really good about themselves. We are so worried about the way we appear to that other person that we cannot "see" that they may be needing something from us, even if it's only the reasurrance of a smile. Rejection never feels good, but it's a lot easier to take when we don't need anything from the person. If we're treated unkindly, we're learning about their insecurities. Secure people are friendly no matter what. Keep an interaction log. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Did I approach the person with the purpose of getting something from them? Something being a date, sex, a favor, thank-you, etc.
- How might I have turned my thinking around to give them something?
Comments?
Love, ~Shimmy~