(no subject)
right now im really down. i just finished reading journals, and i have to say i feel pretty bad. i mean all of this talk about our futures is really scaring me. with all the uncertainty i have to face in the next few years freaking me out, i want to say that i would rather stay in high school, but i dont necessairly know if thats true. i've also been feeling really bad because i feel like i never do anything with you guys. i mean gib seems really mad at me for not taking her to go get drums. and i feel bad because earlier gib sounded offended that i didnt invite her and heather to orland mall when i went with my mom today(technically yesterday). i promise that i wasnt gonna go until minutes before my mom and corinne left, and had to run and throw on clean clothes and brush my teeth. i thought about bringing you guys when we got into park forest, but figured my mom would say no so i didnt even ask. im truly sorry for the way i've been acting lately guys. i don't mean to be like this. and i also don't meen to sound so unsupportive about the band idea. i think it's just that i'm so scared that i'm somehow gonna screw up my life, and i don't want to realize that i got so involved in the band thing that i thought we were defintaly successful, don't go to college, and then we end up flopping or something. or that it doesn't get off the ground because we suck, and then i realize it's just one more thing to add to the list of things i can't do. i kinda feel like i have a tendency to drift away from people. and right now i feel like i'm once again drifting away from friends and family i love. mainly friends. why do i have to do that? i've also been feeling really lame lately. all i did during christmas break was lay around, crochet, watch shows like "while you were out", think about how lame and fat i am, and complain in my head about how i had no drive or motivation or self control when it comes to doing things i want to do.
goals that i hope to accomplish in the next month
1) get some motivation
2) keep my friends
3) lose some weight (10 pounds would make me happy)
4) feel better about myself
well i have to go pack for florida, considering i leave in about 12 hours and have nothing ready. see ya in a week.
goals that i hope to accomplish in the next month
1) get some motivation
2) keep my friends
3) lose some weight (10 pounds would make me happy)
4) feel better about myself
well i have to go pack for florida, considering i leave in about 12 hours and have nothing ready. see ya in a week.