More on the 'church thing.'
When I was a regular church goer, one of the things that was vitaly important to my Christian life was fellowship with like-minded people of a similar age. When I went to Kew Baptist I had that kind of fellowship. Since my relationship with that particular church has gone pear shaped and I left it, I haven't been able to find a church where I've felt comfortable. St. Hillaries was too big (300+ youth each week) and so meeting people and then developing a friendship with friendship with them was nearly impossible. They apparently had quite a good Bible study/small group program that supposedly made this easier but I found I lacked the desire to try it out because a service that has 300 people tends to border more on rock concert than worship. St. Judes, although having what I considered at the time to be good, practical teaching, didn't have the kind of people attending that I felt comfortable with. I don't know if it is because of its proximity to Melbourne Uni, but the people who attended seemed to be the highly intellectual kind and, although I don't like to use this term, the "nerdy" kind. That's a harsh thing to say but it's the way I felt. Although my extrovert personality meant that I could have conversations with these people easily enough that doesn't mean I enjoyed those conversations. These people were, in my mind and for lack of a better term, eggheads, and their conversational topics clearly expressed this. I found myself tolerating these people and their geeky, intellectual conversations just to be polite. Thinking back, I almost wish they'd all been covered with pimples and dandruff because that would make me feel less guilty about saying these things about them.
Tomorrow I'm going to go to church for the first time in over a year. Mind you I won't be going to a church I've been to before; I'm going to go to Anna's church. From my conversations with her, Katie and a few other people at Erin's 21st, this particular denomination (the name of which I have forgotten) sounds as though it has very grounded, practical teaching. I don't see any reason to go to a church where the teaching is pointless, theological, analytical drivel. It's all good and well to tell me that such and such a verse relates to this verse here which in tern relates to that verse other there, how do I apply its meaning to my life? Besides having practical teaching, Anna's church seems to have (from what I have observed) a good sense of community. And I'm yet to meet a person who goes to this church who I haven't liked and believe me, I've met plenty of them.
The decision to go to church tomorrow doesn't mean I have decided to 'take up' Christianity again. Although I am feeling very strongly pulled back to it, I still want to think about it a little more. To add to the conversations that I had this week, Dad, totally out of the blue, started talking to me about church and Christianity. I haven't expressed anything to either Mum or him, so why did he feel the need to bring this up? It just seems to bizarre that suddenly people are all bringing up Christianity and faith and church when talking to me. Strange weird freaky.
So, as yet, I'm still not sure where I stand with my faith. If you draw a scale from one to ten, with one being non-belief and ten being belief I would probably place myself somewhere around five. That probably sounds lik ea simple, convienient, "safe answer" for someone in my position, but if you had have asked me six months ago I would have said I was somewhere around two or three. I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm going to go to church for the first time in over a year. Mind you I won't be going to a church I've been to before; I'm going to go to Anna's church. From my conversations with her, Katie and a few other people at Erin's 21st, this particular denomination (the name of which I have forgotten) sounds as though it has very grounded, practical teaching. I don't see any reason to go to a church where the teaching is pointless, theological, analytical drivel. It's all good and well to tell me that such and such a verse relates to this verse here which in tern relates to that verse other there, how do I apply its meaning to my life? Besides having practical teaching, Anna's church seems to have (from what I have observed) a good sense of community. And I'm yet to meet a person who goes to this church who I haven't liked and believe me, I've met plenty of them.
The decision to go to church tomorrow doesn't mean I have decided to 'take up' Christianity again. Although I am feeling very strongly pulled back to it, I still want to think about it a little more. To add to the conversations that I had this week, Dad, totally out of the blue, started talking to me about church and Christianity. I haven't expressed anything to either Mum or him, so why did he feel the need to bring this up? It just seems to bizarre that suddenly people are all bringing up Christianity and faith and church when talking to me. Strange weird freaky.
So, as yet, I'm still not sure where I stand with my faith. If you draw a scale from one to ten, with one being non-belief and ten being belief I would probably place myself somewhere around five. That probably sounds lik ea simple, convienient, "safe answer" for someone in my position, but if you had have asked me six months ago I would have said I was somewhere around two or three. I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow.