I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
ok..well im at poojs now...and its so friggin cold..i got to shower finally after like 2 days...and well i'm happy bout that...but other than that..ive been feeling like shit...i dunno..been thinking a lot about my life and how unhappy with it...i am, and have been thinking about ways to fix it...i dunno..i need to like do something that would be so beneficial to me and like make me wanna pat myself on the head...and be like good fucking job ama...i need to get a job...i need to have money, i need to finish school...i feel so fucking empty, i feel like im just wasting away my fucking life, doing nothing, just sitting around, tokin up, i dont want to be that girl who becomes a cat lady...i dont wanna be that girl who becomes a junkie...i dont wanna be that girl that begs in the street or gives guys bjs in an alley for cash...i dont wanna be that girl that becomes crazy and get admitted into so crazy house...or that girl that ends up jumping out her bedroom window cause she couldnt deal...i am so frustrated with my life..such a mess...so many fall outs, so much drama, so much change...i hate the way i am, like i cried lastnight, why cause i kept thinking of my life and what i dont like about it...it makes me sad thinking that im this huge fuck up...i hate it, ive had so many choices and i fucked it up...i messed up so much man....emo time...oh boy..ok..let me end this now..before i barf!...my problems are just keep coming..and i dont know..but not this journal nor my friends can help me...i'll just keep on truckin i guess..keep my smile on...