(no subject)
well...talked to my mama like the other day..and it was such a worthless conversation...she just called me to apologize and also tell me how much of a dissapointment i am for leaving..its funny how she acts as if i had no real raeson to leave the way i did...and she starts apologizing like im supposed to say, "sorry mom, i'll move my ass right back in asap." which is so not gonna happen anytime soon...i love my mom, but i hate her...i hate her actions, her attitude towards me and everything i do...she still thinks of me as slutty...or as she calls me "easy" or "loose" and her little druggie...whatever man..its stupid what i think...me trying to prove myself to her..is so stupid...why should i? i shouldnt have to...gah im dumb...its like no matter what i do...she'll never be happy with me and i know that im her daughter but i still feel like the stranger...and i guess that's the reason why i left..but i'll be damned if i get sucked back in tht shit hole...i'll go fucking mad...seeing her face drives me crazy and everytime she opens her pie-hole..i cringe in disgust...i shouldnt hate her so much, she's my mom...i kinda feel bad, cause one day she'll be gone and when that happens that would be the most confusing thing in my life....i wouldnt know whats what anymore...thats kinda why i try, try to build whts not there...a bond of some sort...but all i get is a wall blocking us...a bridge i cant cross...im so fucking annoyed by my life....yes i know..things could be a lot fucking worse...but my life aint to sweet so i have the right to complain...ay ya! me so angry thinking about it, and im supposed to go visit later today...what will i say? like i hope i dont go there and there be drama, i hate drama, there's always drama..my life is one fucking episode of like all my children or some shit like that...god i fucking hate drama....
on a second note...lastnight hung out with cisco after chillin with pooj all day and the day before...good times...met cisco's old pals...they're ok cats...watched the boondocks, show's ok...but before we chilled with them, had a few sips with asia...then chilled with his pals which didnt live that far from her place...we finished th bottle there and smoked 2 blunts... {some good shit }on the terrace...it was nice, we played power stone high, of course i fucked up...i didnt play tht game in years..so whatever...then we drank ballentines, which are 40's but they tasted like heiniken and corona's together..tated ok...then we bounced, smoked more and went to sleep...good times...made me feel happy...this year has been ok...met some interesting people...had some good as well as bad times..but i like this year so far...hope it ends great!...
well..im just sittin here with pooj and cisco, pooj be playing that video games..cisco be sleeping...my tummy hurts, i have a crazy mother fuckin cold that wont motherfuckin die...this weather is mother fuking annoying...shit man...what the fuck...JACKIE BROWN IS CRAZY!
i <3 DRAWN TOGETHER!
foxxy MisZ TwiGgy signing off! ^_^
hey cisco:
WE BE DANCIN! WE BE DANCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!