(no subject)
i have so much shit in my head now...i keep thinking about old shit, and shit that i miss...i talked to chris online lastnight and i've missed some of our conversations..i dunno i still wouldnt go out with him again, cause of some of his jerkyness but i still miss some of those times that shared...we had some great days...some really wonderful times...like the days at the park and latrice's house...i dunno...being single...i like it, cause i dont have to worry about if im making someone else happy, or if the feeling that we share are mutual...its like i can be careless and not have any problems compared to relationship problems...i realized that i cant and will never be like lucas and diana...in a relationship for so long, i couldnt trust the other person for so long, cause ive been let down so much...that my wall of trust is getting higher...my mindset of relationships have changed so much cause of chris...he made me realize that even the ones you love and say they love u, will always in some way hurt u...whether its intentional or not...hurt happens...and in life u must deal..no matter how hard it is...why is it that, emotions suck u back in...its like i still think about shit but single i am, and that will not change for a while...but i just miss ceratin aspects of being in a relationship, that feeling of knowing that ur in love with someone who is in love with u...but knowing it wont last, just makes me happier that im not in one...
....on a dif note...
recently ive been feeling ok...kinda down but ok...i havent been to my mom's in a while and i am ok with that...i got paid today..good shit...i think im gonna get my nip done tomorrow...i've been chillaxin with friends,smoking alot of pot and drinkin...havin fun...not too much fun, looking for a new job...thinking about ways to get my life together...like i need a new job, i want to save up, so i can get a space of my own, i like staying here but i want a more personal space...but never the less i love staying with pooj...she's my love..i adore her so..she's so silly...my roomie...my amiga...POOJ!
...RAKATA! RAKATA!
OK...i hate my throat, my hair is crazy...i like it...i love smoking ganja...i love wild turkey and sprite...i love the songs SHAKE by pitbull and the yin yang twings and Golddigger by Kanye west
i like to dance to reggaeton...i love my friends...i love to party! i am Ama AND I AM THE ARMY OF ONE!