(no subject)
well it's offical, i'm getting shipped back to MI next week. X_o Jess has to finish up school and stuff I guess. So I have to go back....fucking back to that wonderful life in Michigan. I want to scream, but I can't. I can barely hold in the tears. It's not permanent. But I can't stand being away from her. And I don't know how long this school shit is going to take. But I feel horrible. I don't want to go. I haven't even been here to months. :( I love her so much. This totaly sucks. I don't know what the hell i'm going to do in MI. And to top it off she's not gonna even live here. She's gonna have to live at her grandma or aunts or some shit. So contact is gonna be even less then before withnot living together. And I'm scared she's gonna find someone else, someone better. Which would be way easier with me gone. Much more likely to happen. I'm gonna have to ride that shitty greyhound bus for days again. To go back to my empty life with nothing to offer. Back to my "great friends" who ditch me more then hang out with me. Back to everything I was so happy to be rid of. But it's not permanent...just keep telling myself that over and over. It's not for good, it's not for good.....then why am I so god damn scared right now.