I have no idea what to do.
My mind is numb. I just honestly don't know what to do. This is going to be really random but I think I just need to write stuff out so I can get a different perspective on things.
I graduate in 16 days. I'm scared shit-less ... I don't know what I'm doing.
I had my first "official" interview on Monday. I think it went fine. I haven't heard back from them yet ... but at this point ... I don't even know if I'd want the job. Hence the dilemma.
Lets start at the beginning for those of you who don't know. I'm graduating with a Journalism degree with a concentration in Telecommunications (which should really be called Video Production). I know how to make movies. Plain and simple.
I have a couple options after I graduate. I could try and find a staff position with a company and produce work with them, or I could go out and become a Free-lance production assistant/producer ... whatever. The thing with a "staff position" is that I would have a salary, possibly benefits, and a set schedule - 9 to 5 type deal. "Free-lance" on the other hand means, a not too shabby hourly rate, possible benefits through a union type deal, and no set schedule. The money I would make would depend on my connections and how many jobs I could book per week/month whatever.
So here's the deal. I've contacted several commercial production companies in Atlanta. They make commercials for anything from the GA lottery to Publix to lots of stuff. None of the companies are hiring staff right now, most of them don't even really keep a staff, they just hire free-lance when they have a shoot and need someone. I've had a couple contact me, one told me that he puts a "greenie" (newbie) on every shoot he does, so it seems promising that when I'm done with school he would be willing to let me work with him. I had another company contact me back, told me my resume looked strong and to let him know when I was finished with school and he'd "let me free-lance p.a." on some stuff. I also have stuff here at the school this summer they will be working on that I could be hired for. (More than likely if I'm around I'm a shoe-in). And my production teacher Jen put me in touch with another student who is already working as a Lighting grip in the industry. He just recently worked on ATL and Madea's Family Reunion, and he met with me and said he would be willing to drop my name the next time he happened to be on a set and they needed PA's.
Ideally, I want to work in the motion picture industry, I want to work on movie sets. Shooting commercials are like mini-movies, they have a story, you know, sometimes a plot or character arch, but there is a creativity to them.
So the job interview I had Monday. It was for businessTVchannel.com
I still don't really know what they do exactly. From what I gathered it is something along the lines of creating video to stream online. It's business oriented material too. Which I find even more boring than if I were to go work at a news station. From what I can figure, they seem to offer a service. If some guy wants to come in and created a "how-to" video about Quicken Books for his website, this company would shoot the video for him. They seem to have some regular, ask-the-expert type people and they put out weekly "shows" ... web-broadcasts???
Okay so the dilemma ... I consider myself a creative person, but I had a guy in the interview tell me "this is not a creative job". The lighting is static and just bright so that everything can be seen when put on the web. No special colored lights to create shadows or definition. And no creative camera work either, it's like you frame the guy and the projection screen with his power-point in the background hit record and then you could basically walk away. I would be bored to tears.
And I haven't even been offered the job so this could completely not matter at all in a week but right now I'm stressing myself out over this. The benefit's of this job would be: salary (don't know a number yet), possibly benefits, a set schedule. I would be a "Producer" of some type of product and it would be great resume experience. But I could potentially be bored to tears.
Oh the other hand if I went out and just tried for free-lance stuff, I almost couldn't start as a "Producer", it would be as a Production Assistant. There is no set income, just based on the jobs I could acquire, no set schedule, and in the beginning probably no benefits. But much more potential for creativity in lighting, shooting, editing. Like I just applied for a job with Lockheed Martin - they need a camera operator to go up in their jet planes with them and shoot video footage to make training videos with. That's awesome! How many times more interesting is that then, "watch my power-point on excel spreadsheets."
I just keep going back and forth. The money security could be great; I'd have the potential to save quite a bit (hopefully) and I could know where I'm headed before I actually get out of school. It's kind of a big deal for someone in this field to be right out of college to be able to credit themselves as a "Producer" and already be on salary. But I don't know if the money and the set schedule would do it for me. I need to be creative, I need to enjoy the job I'm doing. I mean it could be a pretty big jumping off point, experience wise but I just don't know if I could commit myself to this job for like a year. If someone could tell me it would be alright if I took it and six months later, if I felt like it, I could find something else. I mean who knows, if I went I might end up staying longer, but I just don't want to feel like a complete ass hole if I want to get out of there before the end of 2006.
I also don't want to lose the contacts I've already made with some of the free-lance companies. I don't want them to call me in a month and say hey, we've got some work for you and I have to tell them I can't because I've got a job. And then whenever I would leave the company I'd be back a square one "contact"-wise.
I just don't know what to do. It's all very nerve-wracking and stomach-churning. I've cried like 2-3 times a day when I start talking about it. And the way my mind works ... if I don't take this job I don't get offered another one, I do free-lance work but struggle for years. OR ... if I do take this job, two months later my dream job will come along and I'll feel like an uber-bitch for leaving a company so quickly.
I just can't stop thinking about it. Part of me doesn't want them to offer me the job ... which would make my decision much easier. And it's like ... this is the first interview I've been on ... do I have to take the first job offer I'll ever receive? Will I get more? I don't know. I'll leave it up to God. Like my Mom says. Everything will work out ... it just sucks that I can't see the end result now.
Opinions anyone ... I'm always up for them. Okay ... I think I'm done talking about this. I just really wish I could go to sleep.
I graduate in 16 days. I'm scared shit-less ... I don't know what I'm doing.
I had my first "official" interview on Monday. I think it went fine. I haven't heard back from them yet ... but at this point ... I don't even know if I'd want the job. Hence the dilemma.
Lets start at the beginning for those of you who don't know. I'm graduating with a Journalism degree with a concentration in Telecommunications (which should really be called Video Production). I know how to make movies. Plain and simple.
I have a couple options after I graduate. I could try and find a staff position with a company and produce work with them, or I could go out and become a Free-lance production assistant/producer ... whatever. The thing with a "staff position" is that I would have a salary, possibly benefits, and a set schedule - 9 to 5 type deal. "Free-lance" on the other hand means, a not too shabby hourly rate, possible benefits through a union type deal, and no set schedule. The money I would make would depend on my connections and how many jobs I could book per week/month whatever.
So here's the deal. I've contacted several commercial production companies in Atlanta. They make commercials for anything from the GA lottery to Publix to lots of stuff. None of the companies are hiring staff right now, most of them don't even really keep a staff, they just hire free-lance when they have a shoot and need someone. I've had a couple contact me, one told me that he puts a "greenie" (newbie) on every shoot he does, so it seems promising that when I'm done with school he would be willing to let me work with him. I had another company contact me back, told me my resume looked strong and to let him know when I was finished with school and he'd "let me free-lance p.a." on some stuff. I also have stuff here at the school this summer they will be working on that I could be hired for. (More than likely if I'm around I'm a shoe-in). And my production teacher Jen put me in touch with another student who is already working as a Lighting grip in the industry. He just recently worked on ATL and Madea's Family Reunion, and he met with me and said he would be willing to drop my name the next time he happened to be on a set and they needed PA's.
Ideally, I want to work in the motion picture industry, I want to work on movie sets. Shooting commercials are like mini-movies, they have a story, you know, sometimes a plot or character arch, but there is a creativity to them.
So the job interview I had Monday. It was for businessTVchannel.com
I still don't really know what they do exactly. From what I gathered it is something along the lines of creating video to stream online. It's business oriented material too. Which I find even more boring than if I were to go work at a news station. From what I can figure, they seem to offer a service. If some guy wants to come in and created a "how-to" video about Quicken Books for his website, this company would shoot the video for him. They seem to have some regular, ask-the-expert type people and they put out weekly "shows" ... web-broadcasts???
Okay so the dilemma ... I consider myself a creative person, but I had a guy in the interview tell me "this is not a creative job". The lighting is static and just bright so that everything can be seen when put on the web. No special colored lights to create shadows or definition. And no creative camera work either, it's like you frame the guy and the projection screen with his power-point in the background hit record and then you could basically walk away. I would be bored to tears.
And I haven't even been offered the job so this could completely not matter at all in a week but right now I'm stressing myself out over this. The benefit's of this job would be: salary (don't know a number yet), possibly benefits, a set schedule. I would be a "Producer" of some type of product and it would be great resume experience. But I could potentially be bored to tears.
Oh the other hand if I went out and just tried for free-lance stuff, I almost couldn't start as a "Producer", it would be as a Production Assistant. There is no set income, just based on the jobs I could acquire, no set schedule, and in the beginning probably no benefits. But much more potential for creativity in lighting, shooting, editing. Like I just applied for a job with Lockheed Martin - they need a camera operator to go up in their jet planes with them and shoot video footage to make training videos with. That's awesome! How many times more interesting is that then, "watch my power-point on excel spreadsheets."
I just keep going back and forth. The money security could be great; I'd have the potential to save quite a bit (hopefully) and I could know where I'm headed before I actually get out of school. It's kind of a big deal for someone in this field to be right out of college to be able to credit themselves as a "Producer" and already be on salary. But I don't know if the money and the set schedule would do it for me. I need to be creative, I need to enjoy the job I'm doing. I mean it could be a pretty big jumping off point, experience wise but I just don't know if I could commit myself to this job for like a year. If someone could tell me it would be alright if I took it and six months later, if I felt like it, I could find something else. I mean who knows, if I went I might end up staying longer, but I just don't want to feel like a complete ass hole if I want to get out of there before the end of 2006.
I also don't want to lose the contacts I've already made with some of the free-lance companies. I don't want them to call me in a month and say hey, we've got some work for you and I have to tell them I can't because I've got a job. And then whenever I would leave the company I'd be back a square one "contact"-wise.
I just don't know what to do. It's all very nerve-wracking and stomach-churning. I've cried like 2-3 times a day when I start talking about it. And the way my mind works ... if I don't take this job I don't get offered another one, I do free-lance work but struggle for years. OR ... if I do take this job, two months later my dream job will come along and I'll feel like an uber-bitch for leaving a company so quickly.
I just can't stop thinking about it. Part of me doesn't want them to offer me the job ... which would make my decision much easier. And it's like ... this is the first interview I've been on ... do I have to take the first job offer I'll ever receive? Will I get more? I don't know. I'll leave it up to God. Like my Mom says. Everything will work out ... it just sucks that I can't see the end result now.
Opinions anyone ... I'm always up for them. Okay ... I think I'm done talking about this. I just really wish I could go to sleep.