Ink and Waterstains | part iv | TNG/VOY

[oparu]

headers and notes, see part i



Finally, behind the last stack of crates, Beverly spies the grey hindquarters of their cat and grabs him. He voices his displeasure, loudly and struggles, pressing claws into her chest and arms as she scoops him up. Eventually he settles, deciding he is trapped.

"Did you find him?"

Beverly drops him into the carrier, hindquarters first so he can't tell what's happening. Then she seals him in. He protests, again, even more noisily but he's caught now. She rests her hand on the open grating in the door.

"We're transporting in a few minutes, then you can sulk in our quarters all the way to the station. You'll love the station. All those starships for you to watch outside the window."

Kathryn appears through the mess of crates that is their apartment and crouches down next to her. "He is unhappy, isn't he?"

"The Titan is beaming us up in a few minutes, he'll only be unhappy for awhile." Brushing fur from her uniform, Beverly looks over all the boxes. Some of their things they let go, a few were added to the ever-growing storage compartment they share on Luna, but most of them are coming with. Too many wedding gifts are irreplaceable, the tea set Jean-Luc found in a little antique shop, the orchids Tuvok grew for them, candlesticks, art; the rest of the accumulated debris of two people's lives intertwined.

"We should have gotten rid of more."

"Want to open them all and repack?"

Kathryn shakes her head and retreats to the sofa. "How is it all going to fit on the Titan?"

"We must get a whole cargo bay to ourselves. You are an admiral after all."

Rubbing her shoulders, Kathryn shakes her head. "I don't see why that entitles me to have more belongings than anyone needs to have."

"Blame me." Beverly sat down next to her, patting her wife's knee. "I like all our wedding presents and I'm glad we're keeping them."

"Unpacking's going to be brutal." Kathryn yawns, dropping her hand from her shoulder to her belly. She's been overly conscious of it lately and Beverly's waiting for her to realise what the strange sensation is. She doesn't want to spoil the surprise when Kathryn finally figures it out or put any stress on her to be more aware. Beverly remembers second-guessing every twitch when she was pregnant with Wesley. She'd rather save Kathryn from that, if that's even possible.

"You all right?"

Kathryn wrinkles her nose for a moment then nods. "How long is everything going to be uncomfortable?"

"Do you want the doctor's answer or your wife's answer?"

Sulking, Kathryn drops her head into Beverly's lap, feet up over the arm of the sofa. "Which is more sympathetic?"

"The doctor, unfortunately."

"Have you noticed that my doctor is incredibly beautiful?"

Running her fingers through Kathryn's hair, Beverly smiles down at her. "I hope you didn't talk to your EMH that way."

"He thought he was quite easy on the eyes but I'm really much more fond of you."

"It's my hair, isn't it?"

"I have a thing for redheads."

Beverly laughs, resting her hand over Kathryn's on top of the rise of her belly holding Three. "The EMH mark three can be a redhead, if you want her to be. They can also be Bajoran, Vulcan, Andorian-- the appearance is entirely open to modification, so they don't all have to be the same."

"Was that your idea?"

Flattered, Beverly idly strokes Kathryn's fingers. "I approved it."

"Are you going to miss approving things?" There's a hint of apprehension, but Beverly's laughter stops that.

"Yes, dear, I'm going to desperately miss PADDs lying a metre deep on my desk, the late night meetings, everything being a different kind of crisis, Federation Senators demanding personal favours and admirals. Admirals are the bane of Starfleet, you know that, don't you?"

"I know that. It's covered in admiral training."

"It will be nice to have a finite number of lives to worry about, everyone on a station is far easier to manage than everyone in the Federation." Running her hand slowly over Kathryn's belly, Beverly smiles again. "It'll be nice to deliver babies and treat Tarkalian flu outbreaks in the schools." She picks up the PADD that she's been idly reading when she gets sick of packing. It's a survival guide to the station, written by her own predecessor, who has politely informed her that she has much work ahead of her.

"Did you know, there are over eight thousand civilians on Deep Space 6, which is well over capacity for a station that sise, with the crews of visiting ships and our own crew. I think my first request is going to be for more medical staff."

Kathryn starts to sit up, then changes her mind. "That's going to be my first denial."

"I thought so." Beverly skims through, trying to think like a bureaucrat. "What if I offered any medical personal waiting to ship out the option of responding to emergency calls and helping with overflow? It would help deal with the shortages reported by my predecessor. I'd like to be able to recruit civilians too. Some of the family members must have some medical training."

"Are you preparing for an invasion?"

"Deadly viruses, the Borg, the Dominion..." Beverly keeps reading. "Can't be too careful."

"We're flying into the middle of a mess, aren't we?"

"A crowded station, full of civilians who haven't seen their families in months, grumpy scientists, difficulty getting supplies, problems with resources, discipline, education--" Kathryn drags herself up, resting her weight on her knees. "Think we can fix it?"

"You, me, Tuvok and a whole senior staff we haven't met yet?" Beverly nuzzles her cheek, teasing a smile out of her. "I'm sure we can come up with something."

"Something." Kathryn looks about as thrilled as the Maestro, who reminds them occasionally that he's still incensed at his captivity. "Is Will cooking dinner?"

"I think so."

"Did you all eat together back on the Enterprise?" Kathryn has that longing look, the one she gets when they talk about the mess hall and the way some nights they were all in there, talking.

"Will likes to cook and cooking is more fun when you have people to eat it."

"So you did eat together?"

"We played cards more than we ate."

"Poker?"

Letting Kathryn attempt to shark Will could be fun, it should make the trip go faster if they have something to do.

"Deanna and Will have been known to host a game or two, Will's first officer, Christine, plays. Have you met?"

"It's possible." Kathryn's thoughts are already on the potential for poker games and Beverly's content to leave the conversation there where it's pleasant.

She traces the rooms of the house, saying goodbye to the kitchen, the living room, the balcony and the bit of the bedroom she can see from the sofa. It'll be put to good use by the next occupant. Kate's memories will fill the space after she moves in.

"Our first apartment."

"I'll miss the balcony but I can't wait to have the stars again." Kathryn takes her hand, softly sentimental. "When did the most important part of an apartment become the fact that you'll be there?"

"Marriage can be like that." Beverly toys with Kathryn's fingers in response, trying to decide if Kathryn's looking for confirmation or approval. "Just wait until Three's running around, knocking over all the breakable things we decided to keep."

"Maybe we'll need a cargo bay on the station too, just until Three's older."

"Could be worth it."

Kathryn drags herself off the sofa and paces, hands on her lower back. "Wesley didn't mind living on starbase did he?"

"He was lonely sometimes, but Starbase 34 didn't have thousands of civilians. Three will be overrun with children her own age."

Nodding absently, Kathryn turns around and surveys the room. "We're really leaving."

"You have a whole three weeks to get used to the idea on the way out." Beverly checks her Lamprocapnos spectabilis one last time, then stops Kathryn in the middle of all their belongings. "I love you."

Kathryn beams. "I was thinking about that."

"Oh?"

"I think I might reciprocate your affections."

"That would be fortunate."

"I thought so."

Their comm badges chirp in unison. "Admiral, Doctor, this is the Titan, we're ready to begin transport when you are."

Kissing her as she tugs her close, Beverly seals the apartment into her memory. They're ready. They can handle the next place.

"Acknowledged Titan, go ahead." Kathryn steps back but keeps hold of Beverly's hand. "I love you, I love Three, hell, today, I might even love the cat."

"You always love the cat."

"I might admit it to others."

Beverly leans over and kisses her again just before the transporter takes them, washing Earth and the beginning of their life together into memory.

After a day or two, Da Vinci settles in. He likes the bed more in the guest quarters of the Titan than he liked the bed at home, but he stops giving them dirty looks from the corner, under the table. Kathryn wishes it were that easy for her.

Tuvok accepted his promotion with muted Vulcan joy. T'Pel will be joining them and when they tell her, she wants to hug both of them. She can't, so she smiles at them and holds Beverly's hand tight under the table. Will taunts her for taking his chief of security, and Deanna remarks that Tuvok's third pip has been a long time coming and everyone around the table is happy.

For some reason, joy slices through her defences more than her reprimand and as the Enterprise stories come out, she retreats. She puts dishes back into the replicator until she runs out of those, and then she paces Will and Deanna's quarters. Their collection of art is impressive and seeing how they fit it all in their quarters gives her hope for her and Beverly. Maybe they'll have more than a path after all. Still, she's less than steady. Being the visiting admiral means she can't walk the corridors without stiffened backs and the polite mentions of her rank. They're Will's crew and they reflect their captain, disciplined but easy-going.

What will the station be like? Does she have it in her to take thousands and make them her family? Voyager had Naomi, this station, her station has thousands of Naomis. Children waiting for their parents to come home, teenagers attending school with both parents on long-range missions: she's hasn't had families on that scale. If the report says resources are scarce, than it's worse on the station than she thought. They scavenged for supplies on Voyager, bargaining and trading. Who does she have to trade with out there? A scattering of small colonies? The non-aligned races out beyond the fringe?

The Romulans? They're out there, but it's just as much the end of their maps as it is hers. There's no neutral zone out there, only a sensor net and a fuzzy line on the map delineating the Empire and the Federation. Do they have scientists out there? Space stations full of families?

Deanna and Beverly are both laughing when she looks up. Kathryn nods to Beverly that she's all right, but she can't still her mind. Deanna knows and Kathryn has to remind herself that a half-Betazoid can see through her armour better than Beverly can.

"Has anyone show you the new adaptive shield emitters on the Luna class?" Will watches her, smiling. "They're really quite remarkable. Top of the line technology."

It's a better hook than 'my wife can hear your thoughts and you need counselling'. Kathryn glances at Beverly again. "No, no one's showed me the adaptive shield emitters."

Will waves to the door then falls in step next to her. They head down the quiet corridor, Will's smiles at the few crew members they pass soften the glances that follow Kathryn. They talk about nothing, whether or not Beverly will start a theatre group, if Earth's Parrises Squares team will finally beat the Andorians.

He leads the way into shield control and dismisses the ensign on gamma shift with a wave. "Our ships are always a wonder, aren't they?"

"The best ship in the Federation always depends on which captain you ask."

"Today you'll have to allow me the courtesy of having it be mine."

"Fair enough."

Nodding, Will offers her the chair at the controls. "How's baby Janeway?"

"Three's fine. She's--" Kathryn frowns, then looks up at him. She has to tell someone, maybe telling Will should keep her from feeling like she's crazy. "I think she's moving."

"I hear they do that."

"Beverly said she would, soon but I shouldn't worry about it. I meant to ask but I let myself get distracted."

Will leans on the console, grinning. "So you worried."

"Wouldn't you if something was moving inside of you?"

He glances at his stomach and nods. "You and Beverly talked about Odan?"

Kathryn's not sure how that's relevant, but she's glad for the distraction. "He was a symbiotic life form, related to a Trill. She fell in love with him but his host died. You carried him for some time, didn't you?"

"A few days. He moved."

Kathryn takes the chair, spinning to watch him. Maybe it's because they're talking about it, but she's aware of the baby moving, nudging her from within. "A symbiont is bigger than Three is right now."

"Less bony, but Three's going to get bigger."

His expression is entirely sympathetic, but she can't help wincing. Three has a long way to go still and the next few sizes of maternity uniforms don't leave much room for optimism.

"Beverly's going to be thrilled."

Kathryn shrugs, moving her hand lower. She can't feel it through her abdomen and that just makes the sensation stranger. "She knows."

"Deanna knows nearly everything I know, but that doesn't mean I don't tell her."

She hadn't thought of that. "Aren't you just repeating yourself?"

"Depends on what I say, doesn't it? Knowing something doesn't take away its wonder."

She hears Jean-Luc in that and smirks. "You never bothered with philosophy at the academy."

"I grew up." Will tilts his head towards the service corridor behind the main station. "If you're up for it, you do really have to see these."

"It's fine." She takes his hand when he offers it. "How did you deal with Odan?"

"Most of the time I wasn't me. He piloted, if that makes any sense." Will leads the way into the secrets of his ship and Kathryn listens to the hum of EPS conduits in the walls.

"And you and Beverly--" Beverly told her the whole story, how it was Odan, not Will and even the scent of him was different.

"If you want, I'm sure Deanna and I could arrange something with both of you."

Kathryn searches for the joke, but Will has his poker face up. "Are you suggesting I might be jealous?"

Will laughing saves her from having to think too much about any sort of unorthodox way of alleviating her jealousy. "It's the Betazoid way." He pops off a panel and crouches in front of it. "See this? The way the lasers guidance is always remapping the orientation of the shield matrix? The entire hull is peppered with these, letting us modulate the shields six times faster than an older ship."

"Like an Intrepid class?"

"Oh, I'd never dare insult your former ship, Admiral."

She'd fight him, but it's so much easier just to enjoy it. To let random moments of insanity pass her by and stare into the flashes of light that keep the shields strong. "It's beautiful."

"And unique to the Luna class, so far at least."

"There's a Luna class in the Ninth Fleet, Theia."

"Captain Jol Luttress, great cook, terrible poker player."

"You love terrible poker players."

He leaves the panel open and sits on the floor across from it, patting the deck at his side. "I'll help you up."

"Just don't taunt me for needing it."

"Have I ever taunted--?"

Kathryn laughs the end of his question away and sits next to him, watching the spots of light dance inside the shield emitter. "I liked watching the warp core on Voyager, there was this catwalk on the second level of engineering. I'd go up there and listen to the hum."

"I like it in here because no one finds me. No one walks by and has a question for the captain, I can hear the hum of the conduit behind the wall and it's not far from the turbolift, just in case."

There's no rhythm to the shield emitter, but it's the chaos that's so intriguing, like watching a crystal twist in the sun.

"Beverly loved Odan, and she let him go."

"Well, Odan was a she when Beverly let her go, and she doesn't show any signs of getting rid of you any time soon."

The bluntness of his statement calms her. He's exaggerating to make a point but she needed to hear that. She had to know.

Kathryn turns, looking not quite at him. She has to know. It's the kind of curiosity that tingles. "What was it like, being in love with her?"

"For Odan, incredible, for me, confusing. I love Beverly, she's the closest thing I have to a sister and I've seen her nearly every day for fifteen years. I hadn't loved her like that, not until Odan was in me. She was so different with him, so vibrant, so torn by what was happening. When he was gone, Beverly was who I knew her to be again. Everything about her I'd loved, that Odan had loved, didn't have the same call to me that it did. I could walk past her without wanting her and she was my sister again. Deanna says the emotional parts of our attraction to others increases our physical responses. When Odan was in me, his attraction was my attraction, now that he's gone, Beverly is just Beverly again.

"Not that she isn't beautiful."

Kathryn's strangely pleased with that. "She is."

"And she loves without reservation, you have to know that."

"It's a little intimidating."

Will meets her eyes, patient and open. "Only if you let it be."

"Is it like that with Deanna?"

"Deanna is part of my soul. She was for years but we didn't embrace it, didn't fully realise what we could have. There are no reservations with a Betazoid, there's nothing to hold back. Falling for her, being with her, It's like deciding to truly be free. Developing warp drive."

"You don't think we should stay in the solar system? Make sure we're ready for what's out there?"

Will shakes his head. "Being in love is like sitting in the big chair, the whole universe is out there. It might be dark, it might be incredible, but you have to see what's out there."

"Even when it terrifies you?"

"Especially then."

Kathryn brings her hands back to her belly and the slow nudging of Three swimming inside her. "She's following me across the quadrant."

"Your station in the middle of nowhere is a challenge. Beverly loves a challenge."

"I didn't ask her if she wanted it. She says it's all right, all's forgiven but--"

"Ask her next time."

"That's it?"

"That's all she wants. You didn't ask her this time and she was good enough to forgive you, what can you do but ask her next time?"

"Simple."

"If you want a complicated answer, try Deanna, but be warned even she gets harsh when you need her to be."

Kathryn catches the hint of a loving threat and smiles, both irritated and grateful for his advice. "Did I need you to be harsh?"

"Aren't you always harder on yourself? I seem to remember a certain cadet at the academy being far too serious for her own good."

"I passed, didn't I?"

"I beat you in tactics and spatial combat."

"I didn't even think I was going to use tactics or spatial combat."

"I'll still beat you."

Kathryn laughs, trying to find a comfortable way to pull up her knees. "You did, though you made it to captain a little later than you planned."

"You try leaving the Enterprise, damn ship sucks you in."

"Jean-Luc's happy there."

"Jean-Luc Picard is a man who belongs in that chair. Even I couldn't get him out of it and believe me, I tried." Will tilts his head, rubbing his beard as he toys with something on his mind. "How involved is he going to be, with Three I mean?"

"He's taking some time off, originally he was coming to Earth but--"

"I'm sure he'll love getting to see the station."

"Beverly says sometimes you need all the help you can get with a baby." Kathryn's grateful he's coming, if surprised. Sometimes she wonders if Ensign Wildman felt the same way, when surrogate parents emerged from all corners of the ship. They could have had an unknown donor and they would have managed, yet in an odd way, she's glad it was Jean-Luc. His steady presence is a comfort to both of them.

"I hope you'll have pictures of that. He told me how much he hated children the first day we met."

There's none of that apprehension left when they talk about the baby. Jean-Luc must have found his peace with children somewhere along the way.

"He won't hate Three, he wouldn't dare."

"Just think, when Three starts getting all rebellious and teenaged, you can ship her off to bother him on the Enterprise for a while."

"There's a thought." She drops her legs to the deck and crosses them, wishing she could somehow unknot the kink in her spine.

"Are you two going to call on him again when it's time for Four?" There's a gentleness on his face that tugs at her heart.

"Chakotay offered." She tries not to hesitate, but the thought catches anyway.

"He'd make a beautiful baby with Beverly's genes. Imagine her cheekbones with his eyes." Will looks into her like he's as much Betazoid as his wife. "But?"

"He might want his own family. He's never wanted to marry his ship."

"Jean-Luc's a rare soul." Will looks back into the dancing lights of the shield emitter, then returns to meet her eyes. "If you want to vary your genes a little, Deanna and I are more than willing to share."

Kathryn blinks at him, warmth spreading through her chest. "You would?"

"My genes and Beverly's? That kid would have it made."

"If a little short of humility."

"You can always teach humility." Will tosses her the same grin that was the death of her in the Academy. "There's a few things that are better inherited."

Kathryn reaches for his shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Thank you."

"Of course. My DNA is yours."

"That's not an offer I get every day, though, we have had a few."

"All charming candidates, I hope?" He gets to his feet, lowering her both hands to help her up to hers.

Kathryn doesn't need it as much as she appreciates it, but that makes it no less welcome. "We're overwhelmed by all of you."

"Good. Family should be like that, absolutely overwhelming then sweet, when you least expect it."

Will and Kathryn end up taking a tour of most of the ship and Beverly and Deanna are both yawning when their spouses come back. Kathryn takes Beverly's hand, kissing the back of it with one of her more adorable smiles.

Will and Deanna bid them goodnight, and Kathryn drags her away from the sofa and towards the bed.

"You're in a mood."

"Will cheered me up."

Beverly smirks as Kathryn's gaze noticeably lingers on her breasts. "Amongst other things."

Kathryn stands on her tiptoes, kissing her until the pressure of her body sends a flush through Beverly's skin. "Will offered to father Four, when we're ready."

"Deanna mentioned it."

Kathryn's hands eagerly slide down the zipper hidden on the side of Beverly's dress. For the last few weeks, Kathryn's interest in sex has been nearly equivalent to her interest in food and Beverly's not one to complain. It's been years since she spent mornings lying in bed, sex-dazed and content.

"I like the idea."

Beverly squeezes Kathryn's breast through her tunic and nuzzles the side of her neck. "Do you?"

"Chakotay had a non-relationship with me for seven years and a failed relationship with Seven, I'd like him to find someone more like you."

Untying the back of Kathryn's sheer tunic, Beverly nods. "Well, I can see why you'd want everyone to date someone like me."

Kathryn unlatches her bra, pulling it free in revenge. "Would it be strange for you, having Will's baby?"

Taking both of Kathryn's hands, Beverly kisses them in turn. "Having your baby will never be strange to me, no matter who you pick to be Four's father. Will and Deanna would be excellent non-binary parents."

"Non-binary parents?"

"It's the term in the Starfleet literature for parenting arrangements that exceed the traditional two parent model of monogamous paired species."

Sliding her own top off, Kathryn tries the word a few times on her tongue. "I'll try it on my mother."

"It's mathematical, she might appreciate it."

Stripping off the rest of her clothing, Kathryn climbs naked over Beverly's legs, the softness of her skin brushing against Beverly's chest.

When she's in a hurry, Kathryn attacks love-making with a singular purpose, as single-minded as their cat when he's seen something he wants. There's something electric to it, being desired so greatly that other concerns, like finishing a conversation, are secondary. Depending on each of their stamina on that particular day, sometimes it's a rush to orgasm, panting and damp. Tonight has a softer touch, after the rush to be skin to skin, they're calm, contemplative, even awed by each other.

Kathryn guides Beverly's head to the space between her breasts and the growing swell of her belly. "Three was moving." She whispers it up into the darkness of the bedroom, almost as if saying it in the light might make it disappear.

Beverly kisses her belly, full of warmth exceeding the leftover heat of release. "Strange, isn't it?"

Propping herself up on her elbows, Kathryn stares in wonder. "I didn't know what it was."

"I called Wes parasite when I was tired."

Kathryn's eyes widen. "Parasite?"

"He felt like one." Beverly leaves her hand on Kathryn belly and curls alongside her, close enough to kiss her lips. "You thought I knew, didn't you?"

"You know everything." Kathryn turns her head on the pillow and Beverly fidgets with a lock of her hair. "Part of me thought you'd tell me when it was."

Kissing that thought silent, Beverly reaches for the sheet and pulls it up. "It's incredible when you think about it, isn't it? Three moves on her own."

"Is it midnight yet?" Kathryn rolls over for the chronometer. "Is he a he today?"

"Tomorrow."

"If it's midnight--" She rolls back, satisfied. "He moves on his own."

"It'll go so fast."

Kathryn wants to argue, but she rests her cheek on Beverly's shoulder instead. "When will you be able to feel him too?"

"A few more weeks? Maybe less. Tuvok might be able to feel Three sooner than I. Vulcans have a very advanced sense of touch."

Kathryn's hand trails across Beverly's breast, fidgeting.

"What if I want you to feel Three first?"

"I don't mind--"

"I want you."

Beverly sits up enough to kiss her. "You have me."

Kathryn snuggles closer, content. Beverly runs her fingers through her hair, smoothing it down.

onto part v

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