Rambly pain
I'm really struggling right now with my pain management. My insurance cut out inner of my painkillers and the med dosage of my other had been halved.
Halved.
I'm trying to get authorization for my Vicodin. But the Flexeril? That hurts. On days when my pain is really bad like today? I need to take more then 3.
I'm in physical therapy. But even stretching causes pain. Just a different kind. I take less painkillers with PT. But that doesn't mean I can halve one and eliminate the other.
That's a joke.
It makes me wonder what kind of quality of life these people expect me to have. Our maybe they just want me to slip quietly offline.
I'm not going to do that. But this pain? Day after day after day without relief? I'm not sure how I'd react.
I can't stitch. I've been stitching sporadically. Because I can't concentrate. That night also be because I'm manic. I think the intense pain triggers my manic episodes. At least the beginnings of them. Then I kind of fold in on myself because of lack of sleep and the pain that comes from the aforementioned sleep deprivation. The epic crash you might say.
Now I'm left with a wrecked body. Okay. Even more wrecked. A crap ton of projects that I started. And a bunch of stuff that I bought that I really don't need and certainly can't afford.
Mainly though. It's the pain that bothers me most. I could deal with the rest if I could deal with the pain.
So please send good thoughts if you can because my doctor's office will be asking for authorization from the insurance company for the Vicodin. That'll happen in the next few days.
Thanks friends. I know I sound like a whiny little bitch today. But I needed a place to be one.