A tale of product fail.
Last night, I was blissfully taking a shower, just like every night, when something new in the shower caught my eye. That's not that abnormal of an occurrence, since I share a bathroom/shower with two boys who are exceedingly appearance conscious (I have the least number of products in the shower, incidentally, and they both blowdry their hair regularly. Case in point: the newest amusing acquisition before the one from yesterday was Ryan's new face scrub, called "Kiss My Face"). New face scrubs, specialty shampoos, interesting shaped soap bottles, etc, flow in and out practically every week. However, this product caught my eye for a different reason.
I could not imagine what you buy that would be labeled, in large letters: ULTIMATE WHITE.
Naturally, I was curious.
I picked up the product from Kenny's corner of the shower (it was right at eye height, I hadn't intended to snoop around this time), and read the tube. It informed me that ULTIMATE WHITE is a Brightening Cleansing Cream, and below it, gave one of the worst product descriptions I have ever read. "The White Regimen is Clinically Demonstrated to Break Down Pigmentation Clusters and Inhibit Melanin Formation for Brighter and More Translucent Skin."
You think I'm kidding? I had my phone in the pocket of my jeans that I'd discarded, so I snapped a (terrible quality) picture when I got out of the shower.
That's right. Brighter and More Translucent Skin. And note that this is from Kiehl's line of DERMATOLOGIST SOLUTIONS. Surely, I thought to myself, this must be a joke. Or a poorly written advertisement. ANYTHING that makes it sound less sickeningly racist than it does. Surely Kenny, my roommate from Taiwan, doesn't have a product claiming to make him...whiter?
So, like any good student, when I got back to my bedroom, I did some research. I went to Kiehl's website and looked up their Dermatologist Solutions line. No dice; it wasn't there. I tried a website search for Ultimate White. Still nothing. Finally I turned to Google. Lo and behold, apparently this is a line of products that you cannot buy in the United States. Nope, it's only available in Asian countries. And it's no joke, or trick...I was finding reviews from people who were thrilled by how it had "brightened" their skin tones. I feel like we need to stage an intervention for Kenny. His skin is very nice how it is.
But who would ever want to be anything but WHITE, right? No wonder it's not sold over here. I think I can hear the riots already....
I could not imagine what you buy that would be labeled, in large letters: ULTIMATE WHITE.
Naturally, I was curious.
I picked up the product from Kenny's corner of the shower (it was right at eye height, I hadn't intended to snoop around this time), and read the tube. It informed me that ULTIMATE WHITE is a Brightening Cleansing Cream, and below it, gave one of the worst product descriptions I have ever read. "The White Regimen is Clinically Demonstrated to Break Down Pigmentation Clusters and Inhibit Melanin Formation for Brighter and More Translucent Skin."
You think I'm kidding? I had my phone in the pocket of my jeans that I'd discarded, so I snapped a (terrible quality) picture when I got out of the shower.
That's right. Brighter and More Translucent Skin. And note that this is from Kiehl's line of DERMATOLOGIST SOLUTIONS. Surely, I thought to myself, this must be a joke. Or a poorly written advertisement. ANYTHING that makes it sound less sickeningly racist than it does. Surely Kenny, my roommate from Taiwan, doesn't have a product claiming to make him...whiter?
So, like any good student, when I got back to my bedroom, I did some research. I went to Kiehl's website and looked up their Dermatologist Solutions line. No dice; it wasn't there. I tried a website search for Ultimate White. Still nothing. Finally I turned to Google. Lo and behold, apparently this is a line of products that you cannot buy in the United States. Nope, it's only available in Asian countries. And it's no joke, or trick...I was finding reviews from people who were thrilled by how it had "brightened" their skin tones. I feel like we need to stage an intervention for Kenny. His skin is very nice how it is.
But who would ever want to be anything but WHITE, right? No wonder it's not sold over here. I think I can hear the riots already....