"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 1
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:31:00 UTC
(Writer-anon’s note: Hope this is okay. How to seduce a virgin, the Luffy way. I had a hard time trying to keep everyone in character, so I hope it’s not too bad. Luffy/Sanji/Zoro threesome, with lots of sex, and hopefully a not too stupid plot.)
It was official. This was the most humiliated Sanji had ever been in his nineteen years of life. The effects of the All Truth beam that shitty devil fruit bastard had hit him with to find out where they’d docked the Going Merry still hadn’t faded, and his so called friends were all having a blast using it against him. His only comfort was that Zoro hadn’t been there when Luffy made him admit that no, he didn’t really hate the shitty marimo, and yes, he was actually quite fond of him. And at least Nami-san hadn’t been there to see his cool façade get ripped to shreds.
Speaking of Nami-san, it was high time he asked her what she wanted for her afternoon snack. Feeling a little bit happier as he made his way to the women‘s quarters, stepping over a sleeping Zoro on the way there, he tried to put on his normal face, refusing to spoil even a single moment of her day with his bad mood.
She wanted strawberry pie. Sanji praised her good taste with loving words and a song in his heart, and the ‘thank you’ she blessed him with when he said that the pie would be ready in just a short moment left him with a soaring spirit that almost managed to wash away his bad mood. Almost, but only until he headed towards the galley and noticed that Zoro had decided to wake up and once again darken the world with his presence.
“Why don’t you develop some damn pride already, cook?” he asked as Sanji came closer. “It’s embarrassing just listening to you.”
Sanji turned to glare at the swordsman. He hadn’t moved a muscle since Sanji passed him earlier, leaning with his back against the railing and his legs sprawled carelessly in front of him, but now he had cracked one eye open to look at Sanji. Sanji gave him his most condescending look. Zoro, as expected, just kept going as if he hadn‘t even noticed it.
“Seriously, when’s the last time that stupid pushover routine of yours actually worked?”
Sanji opened his mouth to crush the lazy oaf with his highly superior wit. To his horror, what actually came out was something completely different.
“It hasn’t.”
Sanji felt the blood drain from his face. The damn All Truth beam! Damnit, damnit, damnit! Zoro opened his other eye, looking confused.
“What?”
“It’s never worked on anyone,” Sanji said, completely against his will. He wanted more than anything to just leave, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor.
“Really?” Zoro asked, voice dripping with amusement. “Then how the hell did you ever get laid?”
Sanji’s faint hope that a miracle would happen, that the effect of the damn beam would suddenly vanish or his legs start working, maybe a giant Sea King unexpectedly appearing from the depths to have Zoro for a snack, was crushed as his lips moved to form the words that had been his deepest secret ever since he first joined the crew.
“I haven’t. I’ve never had sex.”
Zoro gaped at him, the stupid look on his face making Sanji wish he could just kick him all the way down to the ocean floor. But he couldn’t, couldn’t move, could do nothing but stare at the swordsman and feel his face burn from the sudden rush of blood in his cheeks. Why Zoro, his brain shrieked at him. Why, out of all the people on this ship, did marimo bastard shit swordsman have to be the one to find out?
There was a thud behind him and an apple came rolling past his feet, stopping against the side of Zoro’s leg, and the spell broke. He turned, and there, with his arms full of apples, was Luffy, staring at him with a surprised smile frozen on his face.
Sanji fled into the galley and slammed the door shut behind him. He had been wrong. The embarrassing treatment he’d been subjected to earlier didn’t even come close to the utter mortification that churned in his chest now. His secret, THE secret, was out.
Wishing he could just go to sleep and never wake up again, Sanji started working on the pie.
"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 2
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:32:35 UTC
“Come on, Zoro, let’s do it!”
“Give it up, Luffy. That idiot will never go along with it.”
“Whaaat? But we haven’t even tried yet! Come on, don’t be boring!”
“Che. I don’t see why I should do that curly guy any favours. And I’m telling you, he won’t say yes, anyway.”
“Heheh, maybe not. But wouldn’t it be fun if he did?”
-----
Sanji yawned as he climbed down from the crow’s nest, happy that his early night watch was finally over so he could get some rest before it was time to get up and start breakfast.
A few days had passed since that horrible day, and things had, against his expectations, returned more or less to normal. The effect of the beam had worn off, and Sanji’s world hadn’t ceased to exist when his secret was revealed. And as far as he knew, nobody else had been let in on his secret. That marimo-bastard hadn’t decided to use the information against him, not even as a way to rile him up when he came looking for a fight, was completely unexpected. And Luffy actually being able to keep a secret? The thought had never even crossed his mind before.
But as normal as things seemed, Sanji had noticed some slight changes in their behaviour towards him. Suddenly, Luffy was everywhere, and some of the time he wasn’t even begging for food. Just staring and smiling whenever he noticed that Sanji had seen him. It was creepy. And the shit-swordsman? He had suddenly decided to make Sanji’s days more difficult by not using his swords when he came to pick a fight, throwing himself at him and wrestling him to the floor instead. And he came at him without a fucking shirt more often than not, a fact that was giving Sanji some trouble. Because no matter how much he loved women, a body was a body, and pressing a half naked one into the floor still gave Sanji pants-problems, even if it was the shitty marimo.
He yawned again and opened the hatch leading down to the men’s bunk, but before he had time to climb down, Luffy popped up from the darkness, startling him. The boy pressed a hand over Sanji‘s lips to silence his surprised yell, and before the cook had time to gather his scattered wits, Luffy had grabbed his wrist and started dragging him away.
“Come on, Sanji! This is gonna be awesome!”
“Hey, what, wait! Where are we going?” Sanji asked, not at all in the mood for his captain’s antics, but truly afraid that he would lose a hand if he resisted too hard, Luffy‘s grip on his wrist more like iron than rubber. Luffy only laughed and grinned his toothy grin, but Sanji got his answer anyway as Luffy yanked the door to the galley open and pushed him inside.
“What the… hell?”
Briefly wondering why he hadn’t noticed that there was light coming from the galley windows, Sanji’s brain boggled at the scene presented before him. There was Zoro, seemingly not bothered by the fact that he was completely naked. Two burning lanterns turned his skin a golden colour and painted deep shadows on his body that accentuated his muscular build, instantly drawing Sanji‘s mind to recurring thoughts he wished he‘d never had. He was stretched out on his back on a pile of blankets, head pillowed on his arms and a scarred ankle resting over one bent knee. He levered himself up on his elbows as Luffy closed the door behind them and tilted his head to look at Sanji.
“Yo, pervert cook.”
Sanji gaped at him.
“What… what the hell are you doing in my galley you… you…!”
“We’re gonna have sex,” Luffy informed him simply as he bounded over to the table to put Hat down somewhere safe.
“You wanna join us, Sanji?”
Now it was Luffy’s time to be gaped at. Was he serious? Hell, was this even real? Maybe he’d fallen asleep up in the crow’s nest? The whole situation felt too much like Sanji’s guilty fantasies to possibly be anything but a dream brought on by the shortage of (available) female company lately. But if it was a dream, surely he wouldn’t be standing there gaping at Luffy while his heart tried to hammer its way out of his chest? Not when there was a big hunk of naked marimo on the floor.
"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 3
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:34:33 UTC
“Wh-what the shit? Why would I want to have sex with you two shitheads?” he managed to get out, then instantly felt like hitting himself for how shaky his voice had sounded. Luffy, who was now in the middle of shrugging out of his vest, gave him a surprised look.
“Well, since you’ve never had sex before, I thought you could do it with us.”
Anger quickly taking the place of shock, Sanji cast Zoro a sharp, disgusted look before turning his fury on Luffy.
“What the hell is this, some kind of fucked up charity?”
Luffy gave him a long, blank look.
“No. It’s sex.”
Sanji groaned and slapped a hand over his face. He heard Zoro sigh.
“Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan.”
“Yup, and it worked! Sanji’s here and you’re naked. All that‘s left now is the sex!”
Sanji’s brain gave up. No use trying to make sense of how whatever Luffy used to think with worked. He glanced at Zoro. Damn it. No matter how stupid, disgusting, stubborn, moronic, tactless, brutish, tasteless and overwhelmingly annoying Sanji thought he was… he did look damn inviting like that.
“Nah, Sanji, have sex with us.”
Luffy was using the cute ‘I want something‘ voice he had picked up from Nami-san. It never worked quite as well without her angelic face to go along with it. Sanji frowned as Luffy invaded his personal space and wrapped his rubbery arms around his neck from behind.
“Come on, Zoro even said he’d let you fuck him.”
Sanji’s eyebrow shot up at that. Topping the shitty marimo? Now, that was an interesting thought. And judging by the sudden stirring in his pants, it wasn’t just his competitive side that thought so. He looked at Zoro, trying to read his reaction to that statement. He stared back at him with a bored look on his face. There was no indication whatsoever that Luffy had just made that up. Maybe…
He turned away and shook his head. No. This crazy situation was giving him crazy thoughts as well. He unwrapped Luffy’s arms from around his throat and started towards the door, but then Luffy was there, blocking his path.
“Sanji. Stay.”
His face looked strangely serious, a look anyone rarely got to see. Sanji shook his head.
“I don’t even like guys, Luffy. I like women. Women!”
Luffy grinned, the serious look melting away.
“Heh, I don’t really like guys either,” he admitted, one finger digging around inside his ear. “But Zoro does, and I like Zoro, so having sex with him is still lots of fun. And you like Zoro too, you said so yourself! And it’s not like you’d have to fall in love or anything. It’s just like playing. Or play-fighting!”
Luffy logic. Sanji shook his head again. He would be lying if he said that the thought of a friendly (or violent) tumble had never crossed his mind, especially when the islands were far apart and his chances to find a woman were more or less nonexistent. More so than ever after he figured out that Zoro was into men, and thus a possible source of relief. But that was just in his head. How could he ever…
“Move.”
He took a step towards the door and Luffy’s face twisted into a pout. Just as the rubber-man opened his mouth again to protest, a smug sniff from Zoro’s direction made Sanji freeze in his tracks.
“Just as I thought.”
He sounded much too pleased with himself for Sanji’s tastes. He turned to look at the other man over his shoulder.
“What?”
Zoro shrugged.
“I told Luffy you’d never be man enough to take me, but he just wouldn’t listen. Turns out I was right.”
Dark eyes bore into him, and the mocking smile that stretched the swordsman’s lips spoke as clearly as any words. ‘I win’, it said. And it made Sanji’s blood boil. He turned abruptly and stalked angrily towards the swordsman. Zoro sat up a little straighter, something predatory in his eyes as he watched Sanji approach.
“I’m more man than you could ever dream to be!” Sanji snarled at him and lifted his leg, preparing to plant a kick in Zoro’s face and wipe that grin away. Or attempted to, anyway, because as he brought his foot down, Zoro managed to catch it at the worst possible angle.
“Why don’t you prove it, then,” the swordsman said, and then the floor disappeared from beneath Sanji’s feet. He landed hard on his back, all the air whooshing out of him painfully.
"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 4
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:36:59 UTC
He blinked tears from his eyes and found himself looking up at Zoro’s leering face, so close that he could feel his breath against his skin.
“Bastard!” he roared, heaved the other man off of him and slammed him into the floor.
The fight lacked their usual technique, no kicks or swords, only hands and wrestling and trying to get on top of the other as Luffy laughed in the background. And damn, but it was difficult to get a good hold on the shithead without any clothes to grab on to. That thought suddenly made Sanji aware that, in his anger, he’d almost forgotten that the guy was naked. But not anymore, not after his hand slipped just a little bit too low on that muscular back, and then he could think of nothing else. It was distracting as hell, and suddenly he felt uncertain about where to put his hands. With that overwhelming distraction putting hesitation into his movements, Zoro saw his chance, grabbed Sanji by the back of his collar and belt and flipped them over… but not into the position Sanji had anticipated.
He suddenly found himself looking down into Zoro’s face, their bodies flush together. Luffy wooted and clapped his hands, and when Sanji looked closer, he saw true enjoyment and amusement in Zoro’s eyes.
Zoro’s breath tickled Sanji’s face. He shifted a little beneath him, and suddenly, strong thighs were squeezing Sanji’s hips.
“You can still fuck me you know, cook, if you can get it up,” he murmured directly into Sanji’s ear, and Sanji’s brain turned to mush. The thought of sex and it actually happening to him, to him, for real, quickly overrode the part of his brain that yelled “Marimo bastard!” at the top of it’s metaphorical lungs. Just like play-fighting, right? Feeling his face burn with the blush he knew was there, he searched Zoro’s eyes, trying to see if he was really serious.
“You’re not shitting me, are you?”
Zoro snorted.
“Moron.”
And without further warning, he put his hands on Sanji’s ass and rolled their hips together.
Sanji hadn’t realized just how hard he was until that very moment, the movement sending a jolt of pleasure through his entire body. Zoro repeated the movement, again, and again, and Sanji didn’t know what he was supposed to do, nervous as all hell and feeling just like the virgin he was. Was he supposed to kiss him? Touch him somehow? He decided to play it safe and let Zoro do all the work, pressing his mouth against one broad shoulder instead and clutching the blanket beneath Zoro’s back in his fists.
Another set of hands touched his back, making him jump slightly in surprise. Then Luffy’s voice was murmuring next to his head, his tone uncharacteristically soft and calming as he told Sanji how good they looked together, how good he looked, and then those hands started undressing him. Removing his suit jacked, managing to loosen his tie and pull it over his head after only a short struggle instead of strangling him with it as Sanji had suspected he would. Unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off before moving down his body to remove his shoes, then finally unbuckling his belt.
Sanji sighed as his zipper was undone, hissed sharply when his pants and underwear were tugged down and his cock sprang free. Zoro hummed happily as their erections slid against each other with the next roll of their hips, and then Luffy’s hand was there, squeezing them together and tugging.
“Fuck. Fuck!”
Sanji was too close already, teetering on the edge much too soon. Luckily, Luffy got the hint and backed off. Sanji lifted himself from Zoro’s body, braced his weight on quivering arms and somehow managed not to come. Zoro just grinned up at him, and he looked so fucking amused that it pissed Sanji off, softening the edges of his desire. Luffy laughed behind him and helped him the rest of the way out of his pants. He pressed a cheeky kiss to Sanji’s right buttock as he finished, which made Sanji sputter and blurt out something that hopefully sounded like the protest he had intended it to be.
"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 5
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:41:29 UTC
He only got a few seconds to calm down, because then Luffy’s hand returned, warm and slick with something as he wrapped it around Sanji’s cock. Sanji couldn’t hold back the moan that welled up in his throat, Luffy‘s stroking hand quickly bringing him close to the edge again. He was only faintly aware of it when Zoro made eye contact with Luffy over his shoulder, then he was shifting beneath him again, his knees pressing against Sanji‘s ribcage. He felt a hand against his tailbone, urging him lower, and Sanji complied mindlessly, his heart racing and his mind reeling with sensation. Then that stroking hand gripped him around the root, urged him forward until the head of his cock made contact with warm skin, and instinct took over.
Sanji pushed, one knee sliding amongst the blankets as he tried to get inside, and suddenly he was. His entire world focused on heat and pressure and, ohshit, inside, and then everything was white behind his eyelids.
He came back to himself with his face pressed against Zoro’s neck, his hips still twitching in aftershocks. Zoro’s ass was squeezing his still hard cock, and instead of afterglow there was a crushing sense of embarrassment in his chest. Damnit. He hadn’t even managed a full thrust before he…
“Shit,” he gasped, his voice hoarse and unsteady. He moved to pull out, but Zoro stopped him, big hands clamping on Sanji’s ass and pushing him back inside. Sanji groaned at the sensation, caught completely off guard.
“The hell?” he rasped once it became obvious that Zoro wasn’t going to let him move.
“We’re not done here just because you got off, dumbass.”
Sanji levered himself up a little and gave the swordsman a dubious look. He sure felt done, his body convinced that it was a good time for a nap and his dick already asleep despite the pulse and pressure of Zoro’s body. He was seriously considering going to sleep just to spite the bastard when Luffy suddenly draped himself over his back.
“Hold on!” he said, very much awake now, his voice embarrassingly high. “I never said I’d…”
“Your dick’s not gonna fall off just because you take it up the ass, cook.”
The proof of that was burning against Sanji’s belly, he realised. His own spent cock twitched in sympathy.
“It’s good,” Zoro murmured, leaning up to brush his mouth over Sanji’s jaw, an intimate gesture that Sanji never would have expected from him. “You’d miss out.”
Luffy placed a wet kiss on the side of his neck.
“I’ll make it good,” he promised, and then he started kissing his way down Sanji’s spine. Sanji squirmed.
Zoro kissed lightly at his jaw, his tongue coming out to flick at his skin.
“Only if you want to,” he said, an uncharacteristic softness in his voice, and Sanji relaxed with a shuddery exhale of breath. It felt good to hear, even though he’d never even suspected that they’d physically force him into anything (not that they could, he’d kick both of their sorry asses if they tried). But he had to admit that he was curious, and if the marimo had even volunteered… well, how bad could it be?
“What? Are you saying I can’t take it?” he asked, mock-glaring.
“Heh! You’re such a froofy little girl, I figured you wouldn’t be up to doing it like a real man.”
Luffy had stopped about halfway down his back and was licking at what Sanji guessed was the old scar from when Chopper patched up his spine, when he suddenly snapped his head up, interrupting the scathing comeback on Sanji‘s lips.
“Ah, crap!” he swore. “We could have used you as a virgin sacrifice!”
Sanji groaned and let his forehead drop against Zoro’s shoulder. Zoro, on the other hand, burst into laughter, and that made his insides do some very interesting things to certain parts of Sanji’s anatomy, and shit, he could feel himself getting hard again already. He pressed his hips more firmly against Zoro’s body, and the swordsman finally let him go, lacing his fingers together behind his own head instead.
"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 6
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:43:29 UTC
“Well, we can’t turn back time.”
And that one comment suddenly made everything real. Sanji stared into Zoro’s grinning face and tried to understand why he didn’t feel bad at all about having lost his virginity to the stupid moss brain and his idiot captain, none of them lovely and female and all the other things Sanji had longed for.
“I guess,” Luffy laughed, and, instead of continuing where he‘d left off, skipped straight down to Sanji’s tailbone.
Sanji flinched as Luffy ran his tongue down the crack of his ass, hissed as the wet tip tickled at his asshole. He started to twist around, trying to look back over his shoulder, but a strong hand cupped the back of his head and suddenly Sanji was being kissed, hot and wet and passionate.
Now, kissing was something he’d done before, and he threw himself into it, happy to be on at least somewhat familiar territory. True, kissing Zoro was nothing like kissing a lovely lady, harsher, more aggressive, but it was close enough to take his mind off what Luffy was doing, helping him relax. It was enough to make the sensations of Luffy’s tongue and slick fingers just another source of pleasure. He cried out as the first finger pressed inside him, the sound muffled by Zoro’s mouth, but it was more from surprise than any real discomfort.
“Okay?” Luffy asked. Sanji broke the kiss to nod, but Zoro wouldn’t let him, pressing their lips back together and undulating beneath him, making Sanji’s now hard cock slide perfectly inside him. It was enough to make Sanji’s body take over, overriding any lingering insecurities. Zoro’s insides were slick with Sanji’s earlier release, easing the thrusts, and it didn’t take long before Sanji was alternating between shoving into the tightness around him and pushing back against Luffy’s impaling fingers. Luffy was laughing again, the familiar sound strangely out of place in this situation that was anything but. Then the fingers disappeared, and determined hands pushed him deep, urging him to hold still while Luffy grabbed Zoro’s ankles and rearranged his legs, propping them against Sanji’s shoulders. Warm breath washed over the back of Sanji’s neck, and a moment later there was a slide of hot flesh and blunt pressure against his asshole.
“Relax,” Zoro growled against his cheek, hands sliding firmly over Sanji‘s shoulder blades in what he assumed was an attempt to soothe him. Sanji did his best, took a deep breath and let it back out, expelling as much tension as he could along with it. One hand gripped his hip, signalling the point of no return as the pressure against him intensified. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut as Luffy breached him, suddenly huge and burning inside, and shit but that stung. He barely recognised the sudden whimper as his own, and then Luffy was moving. All Sanji could do was hide his face against Zoro’s neck and take it.
"Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 7
anonymous
September 17 2008, 14:45:09 UTC
The initial pain melted away quickly, leaving a strange kind of pleasure in its wake, and he couldn’t decide if he liked it or not. He didn’t give it any deeper thought, however, because the way the fluid thrusts were pushing him into Zoro felt fucking fantastic. He lost track of time, wasn’t aware of anything but the new sensations coursing through his body. It felt like forever and not long enough before Luffy’s pace changed, his grip on Sanji’s hips tightening. There was a stutter in his movements, three hard thrusts that made Sanji cry out, and then the flesh inside him twitched as Luffy shouted out his release.
He pulled out almost immediately afterwards, removed himself from Sanji’s back and sat down on the floor with a thud and a short burst of breathless laughter. Sanji barely had time to register a strangely empty feeling and a different kind of sting at Luffy’s withdrawal, his focus quickly snapping back to Zoro and his burning need to fuck him through the floor.
He shifted, settled his knees securely amongst the blankets for better leverage and picked up his own rhythm, hard and fast and desperate. Zoro gasped and moved one of his legs from Sanji’s shoulder, dug his heal into the small of his back instead. One hand snaking between their bodies, he started jerking himself off with harsh movements as Sanji fucked him, his knuckles brushing against Sanji‘s stomach with every stroke. Sanji’s head was swimming, so close to coming that he could almost taste it. He shoved even harder, and an actual shout tore itself from Zoro’s throat, wordless and desperate.
‘I caused that.’
That thought proved to be the final straw. He came so hard he actually hurt, shuddering and pressed as seep as he could go. Zoro kept moving beneath him, and a few seconds later he let out strange, choked sound, his release splashing warm and wet against Sanji’s stomach.
Sanji gasped desperately for breath, sweaty and too damn hot. He rolled to the side once Zoro moved his legs enough for Sanji to get off of him, his dick making a wet sound as it slipped out, and collapsed on the blankets.
“That was hot!” Luffy said enthusiastically as he plopped down on Zoro’s other side.
“Ungh…” Sanji agreed, feeling as if his brain had leaked out through dick with that last orgasm. He opened his eyes as something soft landed on his chest and realised that it was one of his favourite kitchen towels.
“Clean up,” Luffy said, and the damp spot he felt as he picked the towel up proved that Luffy had already ruined it.
“Bastard,” Sanji muttered, ignored Luffy as he wondered what he meant, and wiped his dick and stomach clean. He winced a little as he rubbed the soft fabric between his buttocks, cleaning away the worst of the lube and come and longing for a shower.
He dropped the towel in the mess on Zoro’s belly once he’d finished, making the other man grumble something he couldn‘t make out. The swordsman mopped up the come on his skin without opening his eyes, but fell asleep before he got to the rest of it, so Luffy helped him with that, his seemingly endless supply of energy leaving him wide awake when the only thing Sanji wanted to do was sleep.
“It was good, huh, Sanji? Really good, right?”
Sanji looked up at his captain. The kid was almost bouncing, his face split practically in half by a huge, toothy grin.
“Yeah, it was good,” Sanji agreed. He moved a little, trying to find a comfortable position on the blankets, but winced as his ass reminded him of exactly what it had been through.
“I think I like fucking more than being fucked, though,” he grumbled. “And I still like women, just so you know.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
They looked at each other for a moment, then turned their eyes on Zoro, snoring peacefully between them.
“Maybe we could share him?” Luffy suggested. Sanji thought that was a very good idea.
Re: "Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 7
anonymous
September 17 2008, 17:09:30 UTC
OP: I am secretly reading this at work so I will comeback later and properly comment but OMG.."I dare you to top me" Zoro is one of the hotest things I've ever seen. And poor truth tellling sanji! That would be fun though!
I only got away with reading half of the story before the boss came in...I PROMISE I will finish it later and comment properly but OMG it is so great already! Thanks anon!!
Re: "Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan!" PART 7
anonymous
September 17 2008, 23:03:00 UTC
Holy crap! That was incredible! Hot and in character (you wrote Luffy sex in character! And manly-bottom Zoro! *amazed*) and just awesome! Buckets and buckets of love for you, anon. So well done. <3
It was official. This was the most humiliated Sanji had ever been in his nineteen years of life. The effects of the All Truth beam that shitty devil fruit bastard had hit him with to find out where they’d docked the Going Merry still hadn’t faded, and his so called friends were all having a blast using it against him. His only comfort was that Zoro hadn’t been there when Luffy made him admit that no, he didn’t really hate the shitty marimo, and yes, he was actually quite fond of him. And at least Nami-san hadn’t been there to see his cool façade get ripped to shreds.
Speaking of Nami-san, it was high time he asked her what she wanted for her afternoon snack. Feeling a little bit happier as he made his way to the women‘s quarters, stepping over a sleeping Zoro on the way there, he tried to put on his normal face, refusing to spoil even a single moment of her day with his bad mood.
She wanted strawberry pie. Sanji praised her good taste with loving words and a song in his heart, and the ‘thank you’ she blessed him with when he said that the pie would be ready in just a short moment left him with a soaring spirit that almost managed to wash away his bad mood. Almost, but only until he headed towards the galley and noticed that Zoro had decided to wake up and once again darken the world with his presence.
“Why don’t you develop some damn pride already, cook?” he asked as Sanji came closer. “It’s embarrassing just listening to you.”
Sanji turned to glare at the swordsman. He hadn’t moved a muscle since Sanji passed him earlier, leaning with his back against the railing and his legs sprawled carelessly in front of him, but now he had cracked one eye open to look at Sanji. Sanji gave him his most condescending look. Zoro, as expected, just kept going as if he hadn‘t even noticed it.
“Seriously, when’s the last time that stupid pushover routine of yours actually worked?”
Sanji opened his mouth to crush the lazy oaf with his highly superior wit. To his horror, what actually came out was something completely different.
“It hasn’t.”
Sanji felt the blood drain from his face. The damn All Truth beam! Damnit, damnit, damnit! Zoro opened his other eye, looking confused.
“What?”
“It’s never worked on anyone,” Sanji said, completely against his will. He wanted more than anything to just leave, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor.
“Really?” Zoro asked, voice dripping with amusement. “Then how the hell did you ever get laid?”
Sanji’s faint hope that a miracle would happen, that the effect of the damn beam would suddenly vanish or his legs start working, maybe a giant Sea King unexpectedly appearing from the depths to have Zoro for a snack, was crushed as his lips moved to form the words that had been his deepest secret ever since he first joined the crew.
“I haven’t. I’ve never had sex.”
Zoro gaped at him, the stupid look on his face making Sanji wish he could just kick him all the way down to the ocean floor. But he couldn’t, couldn’t move, could do nothing but stare at the swordsman and feel his face burn from the sudden rush of blood in his cheeks. Why Zoro, his brain shrieked at him. Why, out of all the people on this ship, did marimo bastard shit swordsman have to be the one to find out?
There was a thud behind him and an apple came rolling past his feet, stopping against the side of Zoro’s leg, and the spell broke. He turned, and there, with his arms full of apples, was Luffy, staring at him with a surprised smile frozen on his face.
Sanji fled into the galley and slammed the door shut behind him. He had been wrong. The embarrassing treatment he’d been subjected to earlier didn’t even come close to the utter mortification that churned in his chest now. His secret, THE secret, was out.
Wishing he could just go to sleep and never wake up again, Sanji started working on the pie.
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“Give it up, Luffy. That idiot will never go along with it.”
“Whaaat? But we haven’t even tried yet! Come on, don’t be boring!”
“Che. I don’t see why I should do that curly guy any favours. And I’m telling you, he won’t say yes, anyway.”
“Heheh, maybe not. But wouldn’t it be fun if he did?”
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Sanji yawned as he climbed down from the crow’s nest, happy that his early night watch was finally over so he could get some rest before it was time to get up and start breakfast.
A few days had passed since that horrible day, and things had, against his expectations, returned more or less to normal. The effect of the beam had worn off, and Sanji’s world hadn’t ceased to exist when his secret was revealed. And as far as he knew, nobody else had been let in on his secret. That marimo-bastard hadn’t decided to use the information against him, not even as a way to rile him up when he came looking for a fight, was completely unexpected. And Luffy actually being able to keep a secret? The thought had never even crossed his mind before.
But as normal as things seemed, Sanji had noticed some slight changes in their behaviour towards him. Suddenly, Luffy was everywhere, and some of the time he wasn’t even begging for food. Just staring and smiling whenever he noticed that Sanji had seen him. It was creepy. And the shit-swordsman? He had suddenly decided to make Sanji’s days more difficult by not using his swords when he came to pick a fight, throwing himself at him and wrestling him to the floor instead. And he came at him without a fucking shirt more often than not, a fact that was giving Sanji some trouble. Because no matter how much he loved women, a body was a body, and pressing a half naked one into the floor still gave Sanji pants-problems, even if it was the shitty marimo.
He yawned again and opened the hatch leading down to the men’s bunk, but before he had time to climb down, Luffy popped up from the darkness, startling him. The boy pressed a hand over Sanji‘s lips to silence his surprised yell, and before the cook had time to gather his scattered wits, Luffy had grabbed his wrist and started dragging him away.
“Come on, Sanji! This is gonna be awesome!”
“Hey, what, wait! Where are we going?” Sanji asked, not at all in the mood for his captain’s antics, but truly afraid that he would lose a hand if he resisted too hard, Luffy‘s grip on his wrist more like iron than rubber. Luffy only laughed and grinned his toothy grin, but Sanji got his answer anyway as Luffy yanked the door to the galley open and pushed him inside.
“What the… hell?”
Briefly wondering why he hadn’t noticed that there was light coming from the galley windows, Sanji’s brain boggled at the scene presented before him. There was Zoro, seemingly not bothered by the fact that he was completely naked. Two burning lanterns turned his skin a golden colour and painted deep shadows on his body that accentuated his muscular build, instantly drawing Sanji‘s mind to recurring thoughts he wished he‘d never had. He was stretched out on his back on a pile of blankets, head pillowed on his arms and a scarred ankle resting over one bent knee. He levered himself up on his elbows as Luffy closed the door behind them and tilted his head to look at Sanji.
“Yo, pervert cook.”
Sanji gaped at him.
“What… what the hell are you doing in my galley you… you…!”
“We’re gonna have sex,” Luffy informed him simply as he bounded over to the table to put Hat down somewhere safe.
“You wanna join us, Sanji?”
Now it was Luffy’s time to be gaped at. Was he serious? Hell, was this even real? Maybe he’d fallen asleep up in the crow’s nest? The whole situation felt too much like Sanji’s guilty fantasies to possibly be anything but a dream brought on by the shortage of (available) female company lately. But if it was a dream, surely he wouldn’t be standing there gaping at Luffy while his heart tried to hammer its way out of his chest? Not when there was a big hunk of naked marimo on the floor.
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“Wh-what the shit? Why would I want to have sex with you two shitheads?” he managed to get out, then instantly felt like hitting himself for how shaky his voice had sounded. Luffy, who was now in the middle of shrugging out of his vest, gave him a surprised look.
“Well, since you’ve never had sex before, I thought you could do it with us.”
Anger quickly taking the place of shock, Sanji cast Zoro a sharp, disgusted look before turning his fury on Luffy.
“What the hell is this, some kind of fucked up charity?”
Luffy gave him a long, blank look.
“No. It’s sex.”
Sanji groaned and slapped a hand over his face. He heard Zoro sigh.
“Damnit, Luffy, you said you had a plan.”
“Yup, and it worked! Sanji’s here and you’re naked. All that‘s left now is the sex!”
Sanji’s brain gave up. No use trying to make sense of how whatever Luffy used to think with worked. He glanced at Zoro. Damn it. No matter how stupid, disgusting, stubborn, moronic, tactless, brutish, tasteless and overwhelmingly annoying Sanji thought he was… he did look damn inviting like that.
“Nah, Sanji, have sex with us.”
Luffy was using the cute ‘I want something‘ voice he had picked up from Nami-san. It never worked quite as well without her angelic face to go along with it. Sanji frowned as Luffy invaded his personal space and wrapped his rubbery arms around his neck from behind.
“Come on, Zoro even said he’d let you fuck him.”
Sanji’s eyebrow shot up at that. Topping the shitty marimo? Now, that was an interesting thought. And judging by the sudden stirring in his pants, it wasn’t just his competitive side that thought so. He looked at Zoro, trying to read his reaction to that statement. He stared back at him with a bored look on his face. There was no indication whatsoever that Luffy had just made that up. Maybe…
He turned away and shook his head. No. This crazy situation was giving him crazy thoughts as well. He unwrapped Luffy’s arms from around his throat and started towards the door, but then Luffy was there, blocking his path.
“Sanji. Stay.”
His face looked strangely serious, a look anyone rarely got to see. Sanji shook his head.
“I don’t even like guys, Luffy. I like women. Women!”
Luffy grinned, the serious look melting away.
“Heh, I don’t really like guys either,” he admitted, one finger digging around inside his ear. “But Zoro does, and I like Zoro, so having sex with him is still lots of fun. And you like Zoro too, you said so yourself! And it’s not like you’d have to fall in love or anything. It’s just like playing. Or play-fighting!”
Luffy logic. Sanji shook his head again. He would be lying if he said that the thought of a friendly (or violent) tumble had never crossed his mind, especially when the islands were far apart and his chances to find a woman were more or less nonexistent. More so than ever after he figured out that Zoro was into men, and thus a possible source of relief. But that was just in his head. How could he ever…
“Move.”
He took a step towards the door and Luffy’s face twisted into a pout. Just as the rubber-man opened his mouth again to protest, a smug sniff from Zoro’s direction made Sanji freeze in his tracks.
“Just as I thought.”
He sounded much too pleased with himself for Sanji’s tastes. He turned to look at the other man over his shoulder.
“What?”
Zoro shrugged.
“I told Luffy you’d never be man enough to take me, but he just wouldn’t listen. Turns out I was right.”
Dark eyes bore into him, and the mocking smile that stretched the swordsman’s lips spoke as clearly as any words. ‘I win’, it said. And it made Sanji’s blood boil. He turned abruptly and stalked angrily towards the swordsman. Zoro sat up a little straighter, something predatory in his eyes as he watched Sanji approach.
“I’m more man than you could ever dream to be!” Sanji snarled at him and lifted his leg, preparing to plant a kick in Zoro’s face and wipe that grin away. Or attempted to, anyway, because as he brought his foot down, Zoro managed to catch it at the worst possible angle.
“Why don’t you prove it, then,” the swordsman said, and then the floor disappeared from beneath Sanji’s feet. He landed hard on his back, all the air whooshing out of him painfully.
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“Bastard!” he roared, heaved the other man off of him and slammed him into the floor.
The fight lacked their usual technique, no kicks or swords, only hands and wrestling and trying to get on top of the other as Luffy laughed in the background. And damn, but it was difficult to get a good hold on the shithead without any clothes to grab on to. That thought suddenly made Sanji aware that, in his anger, he’d almost forgotten that the guy was naked. But not anymore, not after his hand slipped just a little bit too low on that muscular back, and then he could think of nothing else. It was distracting as hell, and suddenly he felt uncertain about where to put his hands. With that overwhelming distraction putting hesitation into his movements, Zoro saw his chance, grabbed Sanji by the back of his collar and belt and flipped them over… but not into the position Sanji had anticipated.
He suddenly found himself looking down into Zoro’s face, their bodies flush together. Luffy wooted and clapped his hands, and when Sanji looked closer, he saw true enjoyment and amusement in Zoro’s eyes.
“You shithead,” Sanji muttered. “You’re enjoying this.”
“Heh.”
Zoro’s breath tickled Sanji’s face. He shifted a little beneath him, and suddenly, strong thighs were squeezing Sanji’s hips.
“You can still fuck me you know, cook, if you can get it up,” he murmured directly into Sanji’s ear, and Sanji’s brain turned to mush. The thought of sex and it actually happening to him, to him, for real, quickly overrode the part of his brain that yelled “Marimo bastard!” at the top of it’s metaphorical lungs. Just like play-fighting, right? Feeling his face burn with the blush he knew was there, he searched Zoro’s eyes, trying to see if he was really serious.
“You’re not shitting me, are you?”
Zoro snorted.
“Moron.”
And without further warning, he put his hands on Sanji’s ass and rolled their hips together.
Sanji hadn’t realized just how hard he was until that very moment, the movement sending a jolt of pleasure through his entire body. Zoro repeated the movement, again, and again, and Sanji didn’t know what he was supposed to do, nervous as all hell and feeling just like the virgin he was. Was he supposed to kiss him? Touch him somehow? He decided to play it safe and let Zoro do all the work, pressing his mouth against one broad shoulder instead and clutching the blanket beneath Zoro’s back in his fists.
Another set of hands touched his back, making him jump slightly in surprise. Then Luffy’s voice was murmuring next to his head, his tone uncharacteristically soft and calming as he told Sanji how good they looked together, how good he looked, and then those hands started undressing him. Removing his suit jacked, managing to loosen his tie and pull it over his head after only a short struggle instead of strangling him with it as Sanji had suspected he would. Unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off before moving down his body to remove his shoes, then finally unbuckling his belt.
Sanji sighed as his zipper was undone, hissed sharply when his pants and underwear were tugged down and his cock sprang free. Zoro hummed happily as their erections slid against each other with the next roll of their hips, and then Luffy’s hand was there, squeezing them together and tugging.
“Fuck. Fuck!”
Sanji was too close already, teetering on the edge much too soon. Luckily, Luffy got the hint and backed off. Sanji lifted himself from Zoro’s body, braced his weight on quivering arms and somehow managed not to come. Zoro just grinned up at him, and he looked so fucking amused that it pissed Sanji off, softening the edges of his desire. Luffy laughed behind him and helped him the rest of the way out of his pants. He pressed a cheeky kiss to Sanji’s right buttock as he finished, which made Sanji sputter and blurt out something that hopefully sounded like the protest he had intended it to be.
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Sanji pushed, one knee sliding amongst the blankets as he tried to get inside, and suddenly he was. His entire world focused on heat and pressure and, ohshit, inside, and then everything was white behind his eyelids.
He came back to himself with his face pressed against Zoro’s neck, his hips still twitching in aftershocks. Zoro’s ass was squeezing his still hard cock, and instead of afterglow there was a crushing sense of embarrassment in his chest. Damnit. He hadn’t even managed a full thrust before he…
“Shit,” he gasped, his voice hoarse and unsteady. He moved to pull out, but Zoro stopped him, big hands clamping on Sanji’s ass and pushing him back inside. Sanji groaned at the sensation, caught completely off guard.
“The hell?” he rasped once it became obvious that Zoro wasn’t going to let him move.
“We’re not done here just because you got off, dumbass.”
Sanji levered himself up a little and gave the swordsman a dubious look. He sure felt done, his body convinced that it was a good time for a nap and his dick already asleep despite the pulse and pressure of Zoro’s body. He was seriously considering going to sleep just to spite the bastard when Luffy suddenly draped himself over his back.
“Hold on!” he said, very much awake now, his voice embarrassingly high. “I never said I’d…”
“Your dick’s not gonna fall off just because you take it up the ass, cook.”
The proof of that was burning against Sanji’s belly, he realised. His own spent cock twitched in sympathy.
“It’s good,” Zoro murmured, leaning up to brush his mouth over Sanji’s jaw, an intimate gesture that Sanji never would have expected from him. “You’d miss out.”
Luffy placed a wet kiss on the side of his neck.
“I’ll make it good,” he promised, and then he started kissing his way down Sanji’s spine. Sanji squirmed.
Zoro kissed lightly at his jaw, his tongue coming out to flick at his skin.
“Only if you want to,” he said, an uncharacteristic softness in his voice, and Sanji relaxed with a shuddery exhale of breath. It felt good to hear, even though he’d never even suspected that they’d physically force him into anything (not that they could, he’d kick both of their sorry asses if they tried). But he had to admit that he was curious, and if the marimo had even volunteered… well, how bad could it be?
“What? Are you saying I can’t take it?” he asked, mock-glaring.
“Heh! You’re such a froofy little girl, I figured you wouldn’t be up to doing it like a real man.”
Luffy had stopped about halfway down his back and was licking at what Sanji guessed was the old scar from when Chopper patched up his spine, when he suddenly snapped his head up, interrupting the scathing comeback on Sanji‘s lips.
“Ah, crap!” he swore. “We could have used you as a virgin sacrifice!”
Sanji groaned and let his forehead drop against Zoro’s shoulder. Zoro, on the other hand, burst into laughter, and that made his insides do some very interesting things to certain parts of Sanji’s anatomy, and shit, he could feel himself getting hard again already. He pressed his hips more firmly against Zoro’s body, and the swordsman finally let him go, lacing his fingers together behind his own head instead.
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And that one comment suddenly made everything real. Sanji stared into Zoro’s grinning face and tried to understand why he didn’t feel bad at all about having lost his virginity to the stupid moss brain and his idiot captain, none of them lovely and female and all the other things Sanji had longed for.
“I guess,” Luffy laughed, and, instead of continuing where he‘d left off, skipped straight down to Sanji’s tailbone.
Sanji flinched as Luffy ran his tongue down the crack of his ass, hissed as the wet tip tickled at his asshole. He started to twist around, trying to look back over his shoulder, but a strong hand cupped the back of his head and suddenly Sanji was being kissed, hot and wet and passionate.
Now, kissing was something he’d done before, and he threw himself into it, happy to be on at least somewhat familiar territory. True, kissing Zoro was nothing like kissing a lovely lady, harsher, more aggressive, but it was close enough to take his mind off what Luffy was doing, helping him relax. It was enough to make the sensations of Luffy’s tongue and slick fingers just another source of pleasure. He cried out as the first finger pressed inside him, the sound muffled by Zoro’s mouth, but it was more from surprise than any real discomfort.
“Okay?” Luffy asked. Sanji broke the kiss to nod, but Zoro wouldn’t let him, pressing their lips back together and undulating beneath him, making Sanji’s now hard cock slide perfectly inside him. It was enough to make Sanji’s body take over, overriding any lingering insecurities. Zoro’s insides were slick with Sanji’s earlier release, easing the thrusts, and it didn’t take long before Sanji was alternating between shoving into the tightness around him and pushing back against Luffy’s impaling fingers. Luffy was laughing again, the familiar sound strangely out of place in this situation that was anything but. Then the fingers disappeared, and determined hands pushed him deep, urging him to hold still while Luffy grabbed Zoro’s ankles and rearranged his legs, propping them against Sanji’s shoulders. Warm breath washed over the back of Sanji’s neck, and a moment later there was a slide of hot flesh and blunt pressure against his asshole.
“Relax,” Zoro growled against his cheek, hands sliding firmly over Sanji‘s shoulder blades in what he assumed was an attempt to soothe him. Sanji did his best, took a deep breath and let it back out, expelling as much tension as he could along with it. One hand gripped his hip, signalling the point of no return as the pressure against him intensified. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut as Luffy breached him, suddenly huge and burning inside, and shit but that stung. He barely recognised the sudden whimper as his own, and then Luffy was moving. All Sanji could do was hide his face against Zoro’s neck and take it.
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He pulled out almost immediately afterwards, removed himself from Sanji’s back and sat down on the floor with a thud and a short burst of breathless laughter. Sanji barely had time to register a strangely empty feeling and a different kind of sting at Luffy’s withdrawal, his focus quickly snapping back to Zoro and his burning need to fuck him through the floor.
He shifted, settled his knees securely amongst the blankets for better leverage and picked up his own rhythm, hard and fast and desperate. Zoro gasped and moved one of his legs from Sanji’s shoulder, dug his heal into the small of his back instead. One hand snaking between their bodies, he started jerking himself off with harsh movements as Sanji fucked him, his knuckles brushing against Sanji‘s stomach with every stroke. Sanji’s head was swimming, so close to coming that he could almost taste it. He shoved even harder, and an actual shout tore itself from Zoro’s throat, wordless and desperate.
‘I caused that.’
That thought proved to be the final straw. He came so hard he actually hurt, shuddering and pressed as seep as he could go. Zoro kept moving beneath him, and a few seconds later he let out strange, choked sound, his release splashing warm and wet against Sanji’s stomach.
Sanji gasped desperately for breath, sweaty and too damn hot. He rolled to the side once Zoro moved his legs enough for Sanji to get off of him, his dick making a wet sound as it slipped out, and collapsed on the blankets.
“That was hot!” Luffy said enthusiastically as he plopped down on Zoro’s other side.
“Ungh…” Sanji agreed, feeling as if his brain had leaked out through dick with that last orgasm. He opened his eyes as something soft landed on his chest and realised that it was one of his favourite kitchen towels.
“Clean up,” Luffy said, and the damp spot he felt as he picked the towel up proved that Luffy had already ruined it.
“Bastard,” Sanji muttered, ignored Luffy as he wondered what he meant, and wiped his dick and stomach clean. He winced a little as he rubbed the soft fabric between his buttocks, cleaning away the worst of the lube and come and longing for a shower.
He dropped the towel in the mess on Zoro’s belly once he’d finished, making the other man grumble something he couldn‘t make out. The swordsman mopped up the come on his skin without opening his eyes, but fell asleep before he got to the rest of it, so Luffy helped him with that, his seemingly endless supply of energy leaving him wide awake when the only thing Sanji wanted to do was sleep.
“It was good, huh, Sanji? Really good, right?”
Sanji looked up at his captain. The kid was almost bouncing, his face split practically in half by a huge, toothy grin.
“Yeah, it was good,” Sanji agreed. He moved a little, trying to find a comfortable position on the blankets, but winced as his ass reminded him of exactly what it had been through.
“I think I like fucking more than being fucked, though,” he grumbled. “And I still like women, just so you know.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
They looked at each other for a moment, then turned their eyes on Zoro, snoring peacefully between them.
“Maybe we could share him?” Luffy suggested. Sanji thought that was a very good idea.
THE END
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I only got away with reading half of the story before the boss came in...I PROMISE I will finish it later and comment properly but OMG it is so great already! Thanks anon!!
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OHMYGOD....This is probably one of the best and most convincing (and not to mention super hot) threesomes I've ever read!
I think you captured virgin Sanji perfectly here and Luffy is so IC it hurts!
LOve it! Thanks so much anon!
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I was really worried about the characterisation, so I’m glad you think it turned out okay.
Thank YOU for requesting! I had so much fun writing this (gave me an excuse to write threesome and bottom-Zoro).
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“Yup, and it worked! Sanji’s here and you’re naked. All that‘s left now is the sex!”
That's the best line ever, thank you very much. XDDDDDDDDDD
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