Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 18:17:05 UTC
All the talk of tops and bottoms and fandom chewing on itself over who is penetrating who has kinda brought up something that's always bugged me: why does slash fandom worship anal sex so much? Of all the possible very sexy things two attractive men could be doing to one another...why that one? A substantial number of real gay men don't even have anal sex.
And a lot of the time it's really badly written, too. I'm not even talking about the grammar - for instance, every time I see a fic with two characters who have no real idea what they're doing somehow successfully having mind-blowing anal sex the very first time without any difficulty, I admit it, I hit the back button. :/
I just...I dunno. Sometimes I feel like the odd one out for not finding anal sex that appealing at all, while so many fics out there treat every other sex act as "only" foreplay before the real thing. Anal penetration is somehow obligatory. It defines relationships and causes flame wars over whose name is listed first, and I just don't get it at all.
Can somebody help me out here? I'm not saying "make me like reading about buttsex more," I'd at least just like to know why it's treated like such a big deal, so I can maybe feel less frustrated. :(
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 18:29:59 UTC
This anon doesn't have an answer to your question, in fact I'd be curious to know too. Because while I do enjoy reading the buttsex, non-penetrative sex is what this anon finds hotter in fics...
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 18:34:37 UTC
I don't know. The rubbings thing (goddamn, what's it called?) for instance is very rare but when I've seen it, quite sexy. So I could definitely stand to see more of that.
I almost always write buttsex in yaoi smut because I feel like people expect it.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 18:56:47 UTC
Hmmm sexy frottage~~ yes, more of that would definitely be appreciated by this anon too.
And you know, sometimes I'm reading yaoi smut and there's foreplay and it hot and I'm really hoping they'd get off with what they're currently doing but then they switch to buttsex and I'm a bit disappointed... So screw what peope expect I say! Surprise us! XD
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 19:53:46 UTC
Maybe you could start out by telling us why you don't like it (without using the "there's so much bad anal fic" reason, because there's lots of bad fic about every kind of sex act), then we can tell you why those things don't bother those of us who do like it. I don't think I'm actually able to explain why something turns me on, it just does.
But in some cases I think it could be because people write what they know, which would mean they write "normal" het sex but replace the woman with a man.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 20:05:30 UTC
Maybe you could start out by telling us why you don't like it (without using the "there's so much bad anal fic" reason
I mentioned plenty of other reasons, in all fairness. It's in nearly every fic, treated like the be-all-end-all of male/male sex, like the only male/male act that's properly "satisfying" while all other acts get relegated to nothing but a warmup for anal. Fandom acts like it's obligatory, "it defines relationships and causes flame wars over whose name is listed first"...yeah I'm just repeating my OP at this point, but I thought I was pretty clear. :/
But in some cases I think it could be because people write what they know, which would mean they write "normal" het sex but replace the woman with a man.
I had considered this, but then people would get mad about the "one is not a stand-in for a woman!" thing, which seems to be a hot button in slash fandom.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 21:01:03 UTC
Nope, can't help you either since I've wondered the same thing.
Usually when it's one or two virgins who are immediately ready for anal sex like there's not a ton of other things they could do. Extra >:( -points if it's the first time someone's attracted to men in the first place! I've learned to ignore it, but it always annoys me.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 21:14:21 UTC
Extra >:( -points if it's the first time someone's attracted to men in the first place!
And no one ever has hangups about or aversions to being penetrated, unless it is token discomfort that is quickly soothed over so they can be penetrated anyway.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 21:19:52 UTC
Anon will not lie, she does not mind the 'so they can be penetrated anyways' bit of this >:)
Aversions though, interest her greatly, because in some ways its seen as a rather humbling act and a lot of members of the strawhats have a LOT of pride.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 21:44:27 UTC
If actually written as something substantial, it wouldn't bother me. Heck, I'd probably like reading it! (Although I would still wonder why they needed to do it so badly when they could be doing other things that wouldn't make one partner uncomfortable. A good writer could probably pull it off though.)
The sort I was complaining about usually isn't very substantial, though. In these fics it's sort of a token-mention problem and doesn't have much characterization behind it. Just a "hey wait I'm not cool with that" "pleeease ilu baby" "oh okay" moment.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 21:54:55 UTC
Sorta like that horrible rule that really sexist guys think is true where if you ask a girl to do something three times they'll do it no matter what? Butsex? WTF? NO! ... Butsex? I SAID NO, what the hell? RAPE! RAPE! ... ... Butsex? ... Yeah, okay, fine, whatever.
Re: Let's talk about buttsex.
anonymous
April 20 2009, 22:07:08 UTC
And also, if people like anal sex, why do only GUYS ever get it up the ass?
This might be the most awkward thing anon has ever said on the meme (in which she posts porn- fics) but it must be said: Anon is girl, and Anon likes anal...
And a lot of the time it's really badly written, too. I'm not even talking about the grammar - for instance, every time I see a fic with two characters who have no real idea what they're doing somehow successfully having mind-blowing anal sex the very first time without any difficulty, I admit it, I hit the back button. :/
I just...I dunno. Sometimes I feel like the odd one out for not finding anal sex that appealing at all, while so many fics out there treat every other sex act as "only" foreplay before the real thing. Anal penetration is somehow obligatory. It defines relationships and causes flame wars over whose name is listed first, and I just don't get it at all.
Can somebody help me out here? I'm not saying "make me like reading about buttsex more," I'd at least just like to know why it's treated like such a big deal, so I can maybe feel less frustrated. :(
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I almost always write buttsex in yaoi smut because I feel like people expect it.
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And you know, sometimes I'm reading yaoi smut and there's foreplay and it hot and I'm really hoping they'd get off with what they're currently doing but then they switch to buttsex and I'm a bit disappointed... So screw what peope expect I say! Surprise us! XD
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But in some cases I think it could be because people write what they know, which would mean they write "normal" het sex but replace the woman with a man.
Reply
I mentioned plenty of other reasons, in all fairness. It's in nearly every fic, treated like the be-all-end-all of male/male sex, like the only male/male act that's properly "satisfying" while all other acts get relegated to nothing but a warmup for anal. Fandom acts like it's obligatory, "it defines relationships and causes flame wars over whose name is listed first"...yeah I'm just repeating my OP at this point, but I thought I was pretty clear. :/
But in some cases I think it could be because people write what they know, which would mean they write "normal" het sex but replace the woman with a man.
I had considered this, but then people would get mad about the "one is not a stand-in for a woman!" thing, which seems to be a hot button in slash fandom.
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Sorry about adding to something that's making slash a less fulfilling thing for you. But in my defense, I don't always write anal.
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Usually when it's one or two virgins who are immediately ready for anal sex like there's not a ton of other things they could do. Extra >:( -points if it's the first time someone's attracted to men in the first place! I've learned to ignore it, but it always annoys me.
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And no one ever has hangups about or aversions to being penetrated, unless it is token discomfort that is quickly soothed over so they can be penetrated anyway.
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Aversions though, interest her greatly, because in some ways its seen as a rather humbling act and a lot of members of the strawhats have a LOT of pride.
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The sort I was complaining about usually isn't very substantial, though. In these fics it's sort of a token-mention problem and doesn't have much characterization behind it. Just a "hey wait I'm not cool with that" "pleeease ilu baby" "oh okay" moment.
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Butsex?
WTF? NO!
...
Butsex?
I SAID NO, what the hell? RAPE! RAPE!
...
...
Butsex?
...
Yeah, okay, fine, whatever.
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This might be the most awkward thing anon has ever said on the meme (in which she posts porn- fics) but it must be said: Anon is girl, and Anon likes anal...
Reply
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