PAGE THREE: Taaaaaaaake THREE!!!
ONE PIECE FAN-FOR-ALL
Or, free-for-all-fic, or fic free-for-all, or fic-for-all, whatever phrasing floats your boat.
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Or if you see too much you don't like, try the alternative ONEPIECEKINKMEME, organised by category!
PREMISE:Generally stolen from what the PW kink-meme has become, the idea here is that you ( Read more... )
"It's a sin against the world to crush such beauty! If you need support, I could hold them up for you-"
"LIKE I'D LET YOU DO THAT!" Zoro tried to shake off the blubbering cook now clinging to her ankle, failed, and sighed.
"They were in my way when I did my workouts. It was this, or cut them off."
Horror gripped Sanji's visible eye, and he sprang up.
"CHOPPER, YOU BETTER NOT RUN OUT OF BANDAGES!" He yelled at the top of his lungs toward the infirmary.
Zoro shook her head at the display, closing her eyes again.
Suddenly she had a feeling like someone was RIGHT THERE and she thought she knew who, since Luffy and his wake-Zoro-up-in-the-funniest-way-possible game was on the other side of the ship.
She opened her eyes to meet a heart shaped one studying her from just a BIT too close range.
She shoved the guy back, her eyebrow twitching, struggling to contain her sudden anger.
"Ahhh, Marimo-chwan has a distinct, more tomboyish grace than that of Nami-swan and Robin-chwan~!"
"Tomboyish?" Zoro gritted through her teeth, "THATS BECAUSE I AM-"
"were" interrupted Nami from behind her paper.
"SHUT UP WITCH! I'M STILL A MAN AT HEART!" Zoro was on her feet now, facing her.
She turned back to Sanji to find the pervert had a nosebleed.
"What's with-"
"Catfight <3" Sanji replied with a swoon.
Zoro grabbed a handful of pinstriped collar, and raised a fist. Her face was contorted with rage. The fist came down, stopping barely quick enough to avoid crushing the cook's nose.
With a grunt, Zoro threw Sanji from her and stalked back to her seat against the rail.
"Get out of here. And don't bring me any more of shit like that cake."
Sanji had the grace to look apologetic- "Is there something you'd prefer, Marimo-chwan?"
Zoro winced at the name.
"You don't need to be doing any of that shit for me, idiot. I don't appreciate it."
Sanji lifted the plate from Nami's side table that the orange haired navigator had cleared while they'd been arguing.
"What about you, Nami- swan, is there anything you'd prefer?"
"No thank you Sanji- kun. The cake was lovely, you just make whatever you want."
Nami folded her paper as Sanji excused himself back to the galley.
"I can't believe you didn't hit him."
Zoro just grunted without opening her eyes.
"Come to think of it, I'd have thought Sanji would be in a constant state of pain since this began, but I don't think you laid a hand on him once, why is that?"
"His stupid chivalry." Zoro snarled "I can't hit the moronic bastard, cause he can't hit me back. More like won't, but the effect is the same."
"Hmm." Nami reopened the paper "You are far too noble for your own good."
Zoro just grumbled as she tied her bandana across her eyes to shield them from the sun.
"We can't all be conniving bitches, afterall."
Nami smiled, and they continued their morning in peace.
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Scene 2
"Perverted cook! Just give us the food before Luffy eats Chopper!"
Chopper meeped in a slightly nervous fashion, glancing at the drooling captain, who was staring at the plates balanced in Sanji's hands.
A moment before the plates had been swirling through the air in an intricate love dance, as he prepared to serve them to his precious melorines.
Now they had stopped. Sanji placed them carefully in front of the women, and gave the nod for the men to begin.
Zoro scowled down at her plate. What was that! The cook just gave in without a word. Zoro felt oddly betrayed by that. As if she'd been humored, or coddled. Zoro HATED being coddled.
She speared a shrimp in her rice and dug in. When asked how it was by a fawning cook, she gave no more than her customary grunt. She refused to play along with the idiot.
But it's hard to get one over on idiots who just don't understand when they're being insulted. Because Sanji was wriggling over her grunt with just as much joy as he had at Nami and Robin's comments.
Zoro nearly crushed her fork in her hand, and shoveled the rest in her mouth with an extra lack of grace that caused a curious look and giggle from their resident archeologist.
With his newly empty plate, she headed to the sink, snagging the boy's plates that had been cleared nearly as quickly as her own. Luffy's plate was more of a formality anyways, since the food hardly touched it before it was in the rubber-man's stomach. Seconds certainly went directly from serving bowl to mouth.
It was Zoro's night to do dishes. Usually she'd protest at this, but she didn't have the heart to, not with Sanji being the way he was towards her.
She reached the sink, and moved to turn the salt water faucet for the initial rinse, but Sanji's hand got their first, blocking her path.
"There's no need for a lady to dirty their hands with the dishes." he said gallantly.
Zoro frowned. "It's my night. We have a chart."
Sure enough, there on the chart over the sink was Zoro's name, and the current date.
Sanji scoffed "But that was before- don't worry about it, Marimo-chan, leave these to me, I've got them."
Zoro batted Sanji away from the sink, a deep frown line marring her features more than usual.
"It's fine, cook, I'll do my turn like everyone else."
Sanji beamed at him.
"Marimo-chwan is so considerate! But really, just go relax you trained a lot today-"
"I'M DOING THE FUCKING DISHES, SHITHEAD, SO DEAL WITH IT!"
The crew members still at the table stared at her. She didn't care. She was sick of this shit. She hadn't been so upset to be a woman, but this was unbearable.
In the silence of his declaration, she turned past Sanji's shocked face, and flicked the faucet open and the drain closed.
The moment passed as Luffy burst into laughter, and dinner concluded as normal.
And then it was just her and Sanji, elbow deep in warm soapy water, scrubbing dishes. It was almost reminiscent enough for Zoro to pretend she'd fought tooth and nail to not have to do the dishes, and Sanji'd fought her every inch until he finally got bored and brought up how it was Zoro's duty.
She could almost pretend it was the same as it had been between them, and this was the only peace they could have in each other's presence besides the truces they would make for seconds at a time in battles that required cooperation.
She scared herself how much she missed the chaos. The tug of war and immature bullshit they usually force fed each other. She wasn't they type to pine away, though, and he'd already made his peace over himself and the cook.
He liked the crazy blond with the one track mind. The idiot who could be a great warrior, but refused to fight to his full potential, cause the truth was he wasn't a warrior, and he had a different kind of honor to hold himself to.
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Yeah, It was safe to say he had loved the cook. And it had been just as safe to say the cook would never return those feelings in that way.
And Zoro had never minded. Never minded that the idiot wouldn't respond well to concluding a fight with a rough biting kiss that continued the fight more than ended it. Never minded that he couldn't be any closer than he already was to the idiot he was in love with.
He was pretty close with him already anyways. The were Nakama. And, albeit with much kicking and screaming, friends.
It would be selfish to want more, and Zoro didn't need more. He wasn't the type to yearn for love. The realization that he might want more from the cook never fazed him, never changed anything. Cause there was something else he was working for that he wanted so much more. Maybe when that was done, he'd see where it lead.
He'd assumed, of course, that the trash talking son of a bitch would still be around then.
After all, if the cook died, it would be after Zoro himself. If the crew were going down, there was an order, and Zoro knew that he was first.
Thats what it meant to be the first mate. Luffy lead the crew, and HE protected it. Picked up any slack that the others couldn't handle. It had already become his secondary reason for needing to become the strongest.
He had never even thought he could lose Sanji like this. With the man standing right next to him. Same as he'd always been, but not the same towards him.
But then 'he' had become a 'she', and thats exactly what happened.
She nearly laughed out loud to realize that she could suddenly have Sanji whenever she wanted, but not at all in the way she wanted him. She could only have the ladies man chivalrous idiot, not her old friend.
Yep, Sanji wanted her all right. The exact same way he wanted every other woman on the planet. She would have had a better chance of knowing if Sanji really gave a shit about her if she'd been a man trying to make the flirty blond gay.
Oh the irony.
It was sadder, somehow, than his original decision that he couldn't have the love-cook.
More than never having him as a lover, she felt like she'd never see her friend again.
She paused in his act of dipping the plates in bleach and setting them on the drying rack.
It was only for a second, but it broke the rhythm, and Sanji glanced up.
The next plate was offered.
"Marimo-chan."
Zoro gritted her teeth and snatched it from the soapy hand.
"Marimo-chan." on the next plate as well.
"Marimo-chan." again.
If that happened one more-
"Marimo-chan-"
Zoro smacked the plate out of Sanji's hand where it fell with a painfully loud clang to the floor.
Sanji jumped back startled, glancing from the shockingly not broken plate to Zoro's furious eyes.
"My name is Zoro." Said the swordswoman dangerously "Zo- ro. Not marimo-chwan, not marimo-chan, not marimo-san, ZORO."
The look in the cook's blue eye went from shock to horror.
"I'm so sorry! If you hate it, I'll stop, I swear, I didn't mean to upset you, I'll call you by your name from now on, it was just an affectionate nickname, I don't have to use it, Zoro-chan..."
"No. Not that either. Just Zoro. No stupid honorifics for you to twist into some croon of perverted love, just my name."
Sanji nodded. Zoro could tell he was put off, a little lost for words, not knowing what to do around her. She put her head into her work to try to finish as quickly as possible.
When the last plate is stowed away, Zoro headed for the door, eager to be out of the kitchen, but refusing to run for the sake of her pride.
"Wait, Zoro, uh, do you want some sake?"
Zoro would usually take it as a peace offering, but something was off.
"Didn't you say my ration wouldn't last till port if I kept drinking it every night?"
Sanji was silent and then, "You could have my ration, I hardly drink it anyways-"
But Zoro was already out the door.
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The next week passed in a slow awkward manner, as if it were walking on eggshells trying not to get cut.
Sanji seemed to be doing something similar around Zoro. He didn't provoke her, admiring from a far when he had to. When he doted on her, he gave her things that were actually appreciated.
After training one day, Zoro found a protein rich shake perched atop the rail near where she'd been working. She glanced around the deck and saw that Robin, reading nearby, had some frilly pink concoction with an umbrella.
She shivered at the dodged bullet, then considered the shake. Since it was here...
Zoro chugged it in one gulp, only to bend over clutching her head from brain freeze.
Apparently, it had been frozen.
Life was more bearable without the lovesick fool disgusting her at every turn. But somehow, the lack of Sanji the idiot made Zoro miss Sanji her rival even more.
Some old instinct formed before she became a woman made her automatically head to the kitchen when she was spoiling for a fight.
Seeing Sanji there at the stove, Zoro brazenly headed for the fridge, swinging it open and snagging something that looked like a chicken leg, but probably wasn't due to crazy ass creatures being more common than normal ones on the grand line.
Turning to face the man at the stove, Zoro took a huge, juicy bite of the food Sanji was probably saving so they wouldn't all starve.
The cook glanced up at the woman standing before him, a situation like this with any of the guys would make him kick their asses halfway back to reverse mountain.
He opened his mouth, and Zoro prepared for at the very least a polite request for her not to steal food.
"If you want anything, all you need to do is ask."
Zoro's eyes darkened under her still sharp brow. In a blur she'd grabbed Sanji by the collar, and pinned him against the wall, her feminine curves pressed against Sanji's lean straight form.
A heart appeared in Sanji's eye, despite the harshness of the situation.
"Me-"
"If you say melorine I will kill you now, I swear."
Sanji fought it, barely winning.
"Grow a backbone, you shitty coward! I stole food! You're supposed to be the rationer on board, now KICK ME!"
Sanji hesitated, sensing the seriousness in Zoro, then lifted a leg, wavering.
Suddenly, it fell, striking towards Zoro's shoulder.
Zoro caught it like nothing, tossed it back to the floor, and backed off toward the door.
"If you're not gonna even try to hit me, don't bother shithead."
When Zoro got on deck, he tossed the chicken-ish leg to Luffy, who stretched his neck to catch it with his mouth before it went overboard.
She wasn't really all that hungry.
[TBC and I actually mean it, I'm finishing this. Hopefully by the end of the week.]
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Accidental unanoning? What accidental unanoning? I don't know what you're talking about! *shifty eyes*
Bless you and your dauntless dedication TO SCIENCE! I am very much looking forward to the continuation.
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I'm really loving this!
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this is some brilliant stuff
lines are positively golden
"WHY?! WHY HAVE YOU BOUND YOU CHEST! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!"
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
"It's a sin against the world to crush such beauty! If you need support, I could hold them up for you-"
..…..….yeah, he'd like that. maybe he should eat the bra bra fruit.
okay, i'm just going to stop quoting since i'd end up copying and pasting the whole fic. looking forward to the rest!
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He had never even thought he could lose Sanji like this.
She nearly laughed out loud to realize that she could suddenly have Sanji whenever she wanted, but not at all in the way she wanted him.
It'd be Sanji's body, but it wouldn't be Sanji.
More than never having him as a lover, she felt like she'd never see her friend again.
Nnnnggg!
Sanji hesitated, sensing the seriousness in Zoro, then lifted a leg, wavering.
Oh Sanji, why are you so pathetic? You break my heart, sweetie.
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I usually don't go for genderbent stuff, but I totally made an exception for this ZoSan/SanZo piece and I'm so glad I did! <3
Hope you continue soon~
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So this isn't done, but this is the most convenient stopping place of what I have so far, so I'll post up till here to show I'm not dead. Then I'll finish it. Shutting up now.]
Zoro considered herself an artist at what she did.
To watch her, one might think she had already achieved perfection, but she knew otherwise. There was always room for improvement, so still she trained.
She wouldn't belittle the progress she had made though. She was infinitely better than when she had begun her journey.
Which was why when Zoro woke from her night watch stealth nap, only to find she had woken an hour before her watch was up, she frowned. She'd thought she'd had it down so she woke up exactly as her watch ended, in time to pretend she'd been up the whole time and avoid bodily harm if it was Nami who had the next watch.
Clearly, she hadn't come as far in her training as she had thought, if she was still making stupid mistakes like this.
She'd just pillowed her hands on her head and leaned with visions of extra training in her head when she heard the rope creak. Like someone was climbing up to the crows nest for their watch an hour early.
Zoro cocked an eye. Maybe she hadn't lost her touch after all. She sat back up and yawned, casting her sleepy mind around for whose watch came after hers today, and wondering if she should let them know they'd woken up early or just let them deal with the repercussions of their mistake and head down to bed herself.
And then she remembered whose watch comes after hers on fridays, and groaned.
Because it wasn't a mistake at all that brought this crew member to the crows nest too early. Nor was it kindness, or an inability to sleep. It was chivalry.
When Sanji clambered into the crows nest a moment later, Zoro ignored him for all she was worth.
"Zoro?" Sanji said tentatively, "Your watch is up, go down and get some sleep."
"My watch isn't up for an hour." growled Zoro, because screw the wind that cut through her cloths like they weren't there, hell if she'd take charity from Sanji. Just to push the point she added "And I've been sleeping the whole time anyways."
Sanji raised a curly brow "Then whats the point of you being here anyways? Go get some real sleep out of the wind."
It was a good point, but Zoro had never let that stop her when she'd made up her mind.
"Like hell I'm gonna move just so you can feel like some sort of gentleman, cook. Take your special treatment and go give it to someone it's not wasted on. My watch ends in an hour."
Sanji slid down the wall of the crows nest to sit next to Zoro.
"Oi, shit-cook. Didn't you hear me? I'm not leaving for another hour, so you can just-"
"Am I not allowed to keep you company, Zoro?"
Zoro opened her mouth to object, but then closed it. If the idiot wanted to be uncomfortable an extra hour for some pointless reason, hell if she was gonna stop him. But she wasn't gonna talk to the guy. Hell no, there wasn't enough sake in the hold.
But the minutes ticked by, and Zoro got fidgetty. It wasn't a condition she was used to. Zoro was fine with silences. Preferred them most of the time. And if she needed to say something, she'd just say it, no fucking around.
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She had no idea what the man next to her was thinking. And usually it wouldn't bother her, but the ambiguity of the situation pissed her off somehow.
Sanji just puffed away on his cigarette, and didn't say anything Zoro could take offense to, or even look at him. It was almost like the way he'd sit companionably with her before.
Except Zoro knew Sanji thought of her differently now, so this silence had to be different, but she couldn't quite see HOW it was different, and the entire thing was confusing her, and making her fidget, and that in itself pissed her off so much that she broke her promise to herself and opened conversation.
"You're an asshole." She wasn't very good at conversation.
"Yeah, sorry about that." said Sanji, still puffing away in the dark, save for the spark at the end of his joint.
"No, I'm serious. Where the hell do you get off, coming to relieve me of my watch early? I've usually gotta throw you out of bed to get you out here to relieve me. And don't freaking apologize like you don't think you're the prince of cool either."
"I was only trying to make amends. It's been weird this week, and I was trying to fix things, but I guess I screwed them up again. I didn't know what else to do though."
Zoro crossed her arms over her still bound chest, and glared at the annoyingly repentant man.
"When have we ever needed more than a kick to the head to make amends, dumbass."
There was silence that confused Zoro almost as much as the first silence, but she refused to regret saying anything.
"I- I can't really do that anymore." Sanji said finally, "I know you want me to. But I don't kick women. It's not who I am, not how I was raised. I know it must be weird for you-"
"Its stupid." interrupted Zoro heatedly, relief at finally getting to say what she had held back all week, "Its completely retarded. Why does anything have to change?"
Sanji smiled sadly at the mast as he continued to stare straight ahead.
"It's different now. You're a woman. I can't treat you the same. Women need to be honored, respected. To ask me to do otherwise would go against everything I believe in."
Zoro shook her head. "You think that this is respect? You used to respect me enough to know you could kick me around all day and I'd only get up and give as good as I got. Respect was knowing I was too strong to be broken, and believing it enough to test that theory daily. Pulling punches isn't respect."
Sanji breathed smoke into the crisp air as if he were sighing it out. "What ever you want to call it, Zoro, I can't kick a woman. I just won't."
Zoro nodded. She hadn't expected Sanji to budge on that one. It really was hopeless. Sanji was hopeless.
"I'll miss it, you know." admitted Zoro. Nothing they'd usually say to each other, but if Sanji was going to be weird.
The statement shocked Sanji, who nearly choked on his cigarette, something that would have been funny in another situation.
"Shit, cry me a river, Marimo!" He said without thinking. Then he froze, eye wide, practically trembling in horror as he turned to face Zoro.
"I'm so sorry! Please, forgive me it slipped out, I could never talk to a lady in that fashion!"
And Zoro knew it was true. Sanji had just been shocked into slipping up into the embarrassed response he would have had if Zoro'd been a guy. It didn't mean the old Sanji was back, the apology just proved it.
But after weeks without being treated like herself, after the distance that had grown between them, Zoro was so relieved to hear that her friend was in there somewhere that she just reacted. The only thing she really could do, with the poor guilty cook before him.
She shut him up hard.
With a kiss.
[dun dun duuuuuuuuuun]
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OMFUCKING.G
LDKGFJKSHKJSFN
YOU ARE A CRUEL, CRUEL PERSON AUTHOR ANON.
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I apologize.
It probably seems less sincere because of the maniacal laughter, but be assured. It comes from the heart.
And hopefully the next bit will be up a bit quicker.
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There hasn't been pretty much any good fic lately D: It has given me quite a sad, especially since I can't exactly go out and do stuff since my accident :|
...I am a bad person if Sanji torture makes me happy.
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