monologues!!!

[oozing_surprise]

it's about that time...time for me to start thinking about getting a performance job...i'm having my head shots taken tomorrow, but i need to start working on monologues now!!!

would someone PLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!! pass along a few clean, comedic monologues???? i have plenty of children's theater and disney auditions coming up.  HELP!