Feel good, Feel good, Feel good, Feel good, Feel good, Feel good..
Feel good, Feel good, Feel good, City's breaking down on a camels back, They just have to go 'cos they dont know when, So all you fill the streets its appealing to see, You wont get out the county, 'cos you're bad and free, You've got a new horizon It's ephemeral style, A melancholy town where we never smile, And all I wanna hear is the message beep, My dreams, they've got to kiss me, because I dont get sleep, no, Windmill, Windmill for the land, Learn forever hand in hand, Take it all in on your stride, It is sticking, falling down, Love forever love is free, Let’s turn forever you and me, Windmill, windmill for the land, Is everybody in?,
Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats,
Lining them up-a like ass cracks,
Ladies, homies, at the track
its my chocolate attack.
Shit, I'm stepping in the heart of this here
Care bear bumping in the heart of this here
watch me as I gravitate
hahahahahahaa.
Yo, we gonna go ghost town,
this motown,
with yo sound
you're in the place
you gonna bite the dust
Cant fight with us
With yo sound
you kill the INC.
so dont stop, get it, get it
until you're cheddar header.
Yo, watch the way I navigate ah hahahaha,
Windmill, Windmill for the land, Learn forever hand in hand, Take it all in on your stride, It is sticking, falling down, Love forever love is free, Let’s turn forever you and me, Windmill, windmill for the land, Is everybody in?
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains in it
steady,
watch me navigate,
ahahahahahaha.
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains in it
steady, watch me navigate ah hahahaha...
-maniacal laughter- shugga shugga feel good, shugga shugga feel good...
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
Had to share this song as its just freaking awesome, me loves the Gorillaz... Oo heres another one before I actually update with something philosophical and introspective like :-). Oh I wanted to put the very next song up, but Feel Good Inc came back up hahaha Its destiny I tell ya :-).
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Well evening anyone who actually reads this :-). I just got the baby to bed and decided to update.
"But do you think, we're that blind, That we can't see, through all your lies?, Cause its no good, We'll burn it down, Enjoy the flames, Enjoy the sound"... Oops, sorry. In one of those moods :-).
Well I've not been up to much really, just taking care of Damien (who has chicken pox, lucky me :/ ), doing work on the house, and just overall job hunting still. I decided to go to Penn State for a few years to get a start on my Master's Degree in Secondary Education, then I plan on transferring to Lockhaven (God willing that is). I don't want to have to move to Harrisburg, otherwise I'd just go to Penn State since it'll save me money in the long run. Penn State is known for educating great educators, Lockhaven even more so... so in the end I come up better off in the long run. I was going to buy a car (or attempt to talk parents into helping me get one), but the car I was looking at wasn't in as good a shape as I'd have preferred for the price... so I'm back on either hunting for another car or using the familys blue car. I may just try to use the blue car for a while in order to save money (it gets good gas mileage and isn't too bad for the wear). Blah the housework stuff has been really boring since I can't do anything repair wise for a bit, well not in the house anyway. I am currently doing lots of landscaping and just overall exterior appearance improving. We are going to try and get a loan to put a new roof on the house, after that I will be able to close the porch in and put 2 rooms out there, thus increasing the storage space for the house etc. I plan on trying to get this all done A.S.A.P. so as to give Damien and I a more secluded area for the two of us to habitat. Since I am also helping pay the bills etc around here, it'd be nice to have a more private room till I can more easily afford to get Damien and I our own place. I really appreciate my parents offering to let me stay here with Damien while I attend school, instead of my moving away and making it harder/more expensive on myself. Well off all of that :-).
While just hanging around waiting for the baby to fall more deeply into sleep etc, I realized a few things. I've really gotten use to just not thinking positively or negatively of myself and I don't know why this is. I guess that perhaps in my attempting to be an overall humble and understanding person, I've just tossed a personal opinion aside. Recently though, I've had more and more people telling me how great a person I am overall. Its been refreshing to not be criticized and to get credit for being myself. I keep hearing how nice I am to just about anyone, how I go out of my way to help people without asking for something in return, how tolerant/patient I am, and just... well a ton of other things. What surprises me though is the people saying these things. Ex-es and people that I've tried to keep in contact with though they've dropped off the radar. Its nice to hear from them as well, though I must admit that I avoided some of them because I didn't want to feel helpless when it came to their problems. There are some people I wish I could help, but just can't because they don't want to hear what I advise or they just want the impossible outcome from a difficult situation. Back on topic though. I guess that in the last couple of months I've been able to develop a bit more confidence and thus able to improve my overall demeanor. I did come to realize a few other things recently as well. I realized that when it comes to relationships, I try to still remain very independant, thus I sometimes leave my gfs out of the loop on what I'm doing with life etc. I guess that what got me thinking of this the most was the Becky and I situation. I know why I do it though, its only out of concern for the other person and my pride. I don't want people to pity me when they see that something I worked hard to achieve, remainds out of my grasp due to circumstances I can't control. Guess that in the end, my inability to accept defeat and my pride... make me unable to admit to others how many times I may have to try for certain hard-to-achieve goals. I've also come to realize that I do plan ahead far more than I thought, but I do it so subconsciously that, well I just don't think about it. I've always known just what I want to do with my life in general, and the possible ways to achieve what I want. My weakness in the area of plans though, is that I make them far too complicated and I have far too much foresight. I refuse to ever do anything that negatively impacts more than a set number of things. An example of this is how I am not currently in college. I didn't go yet for a few reasons, but one of them was just that the outcome would be a large debt that I know that if I look deeper, I can avoid some of. In the end I just don't want to compromise my future post-college in order to run blindly into it. Well off that.
I've begun to be unable to play computer games in my spare time. I realized that I played a lot recently to cope with missing Becky while she was away and now that she left me (most likely never to return) I prefer to draw/work on house projects/research/read more than I used to. This can be bad in some respects, as I dive into researching/reading/projects easily and just... lose myself in them. I guess that perhaps that is how I am coping with knowing that she won't choose to return to me. I also have little interest in the same types of games, perhaps I'm just letting go of the fact that I never had much of a childhood... Perhaps I'm just realizing that its not that big a loss and I enjoy my maturity.
Well I am off, I have lots of yardwork to do in the morning. I'd really like to hear from people (I know I keep putting that in these entries, but yeah, I get so little response) God bless and all that fun stuff. Lataz
Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats,
Lining them up-a like ass cracks,
Ladies, homies, at the track
its my chocolate attack.
Shit, I'm stepping in the heart of this here
Care bear bumping in the heart of this here
watch me as I gravitate
hahahahahahaa.
Yo, we gonna go ghost town,
this motown,
with yo sound
you're in the place
you gonna bite the dust
Cant fight with us
With yo sound
you kill the INC.
so dont stop, get it, get it
until you're cheddar header.
Yo, watch the way I navigate ah hahahaha,
Windmill, Windmill for the land, Learn forever hand in hand, Take it all in on your stride, It is sticking, falling down, Love forever love is free, Let’s turn forever you and me, Windmill, windmill for the land, Is everybody in?
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains in it
steady,
watch me navigate,
ahahahahahaha.
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains in it
steady, watch me navigate ah hahahaha...
-maniacal laughter- shugga shugga feel good, shugga shugga feel good...
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
Had to share this song as its just freaking awesome, me loves the Gorillaz... Oo heres another one before I actually update with something philosophical and introspective like :-). Oh I wanted to put the very next song up, but Feel Good Inc came back up hahaha Its destiny I tell ya :-).
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well evening anyone who actually reads this :-). I just got the baby to bed and decided to update.
"But do you think, we're that blind, That we can't see, through all your lies?, Cause its no good, We'll burn it down, Enjoy the flames, Enjoy the sound"... Oops, sorry. In one of those moods :-).
Well I've not been up to much really, just taking care of Damien (who has chicken pox, lucky me :/ ), doing work on the house, and just overall job hunting still. I decided to go to Penn State for a few years to get a start on my Master's Degree in Secondary Education, then I plan on transferring to Lockhaven (God willing that is). I don't want to have to move to Harrisburg, otherwise I'd just go to Penn State since it'll save me money in the long run. Penn State is known for educating great educators, Lockhaven even more so... so in the end I come up better off in the long run. I was going to buy a car (or attempt to talk parents into helping me get one), but the car I was looking at wasn't in as good a shape as I'd have preferred for the price... so I'm back on either hunting for another car or using the familys blue car. I may just try to use the blue car for a while in order to save money (it gets good gas mileage and isn't too bad for the wear). Blah the housework stuff has been really boring since I can't do anything repair wise for a bit, well not in the house anyway. I am currently doing lots of landscaping and just overall exterior appearance improving. We are going to try and get a loan to put a new roof on the house, after that I will be able to close the porch in and put 2 rooms out there, thus increasing the storage space for the house etc. I plan on trying to get this all done A.S.A.P. so as to give Damien and I a more secluded area for the two of us to habitat. Since I am also helping pay the bills etc around here, it'd be nice to have a more private room till I can more easily afford to get Damien and I our own place. I really appreciate my parents offering to let me stay here with Damien while I attend school, instead of my moving away and making it harder/more expensive on myself. Well off all of that :-).
While just hanging around waiting for the baby to fall more deeply into sleep etc, I realized a few things. I've really gotten use to just not thinking positively or negatively of myself and I don't know why this is. I guess that perhaps in my attempting to be an overall humble and understanding person, I've just tossed a personal opinion aside. Recently though, I've had more and more people telling me how great a person I am overall. Its been refreshing to not be criticized and to get credit for being myself. I keep hearing how nice I am to just about anyone, how I go out of my way to help people without asking for something in return, how tolerant/patient I am, and just... well a ton of other things. What surprises me though is the people saying these things. Ex-es and people that I've tried to keep in contact with though they've dropped off the radar. Its nice to hear from them as well, though I must admit that I avoided some of them because I didn't want to feel helpless when it came to their problems. There are some people I wish I could help, but just can't because they don't want to hear what I advise or they just want the impossible outcome from a difficult situation. Back on topic though. I guess that in the last couple of months I've been able to develop a bit more confidence and thus able to improve my overall demeanor. I did come to realize a few other things recently as well. I realized that when it comes to relationships, I try to still remain very independant, thus I sometimes leave my gfs out of the loop on what I'm doing with life etc. I guess that what got me thinking of this the most was the Becky and I situation. I know why I do it though, its only out of concern for the other person and my pride. I don't want people to pity me when they see that something I worked hard to achieve, remainds out of my grasp due to circumstances I can't control. Guess that in the end, my inability to accept defeat and my pride... make me unable to admit to others how many times I may have to try for certain hard-to-achieve goals. I've also come to realize that I do plan ahead far more than I thought, but I do it so subconsciously that, well I just don't think about it. I've always known just what I want to do with my life in general, and the possible ways to achieve what I want. My weakness in the area of plans though, is that I make them far too complicated and I have far too much foresight. I refuse to ever do anything that negatively impacts more than a set number of things. An example of this is how I am not currently in college. I didn't go yet for a few reasons, but one of them was just that the outcome would be a large debt that I know that if I look deeper, I can avoid some of. In the end I just don't want to compromise my future post-college in order to run blindly into it. Well off that.
I've begun to be unable to play computer games in my spare time. I realized that I played a lot recently to cope with missing Becky while she was away and now that she left me (most likely never to return) I prefer to draw/work on house projects/research/read more than I used to. This can be bad in some respects, as I dive into researching/reading/projects easily and just... lose myself in them. I guess that perhaps that is how I am coping with knowing that she won't choose to return to me. I also have little interest in the same types of games, perhaps I'm just letting go of the fact that I never had much of a childhood... Perhaps I'm just realizing that its not that big a loss and I enjoy my maturity.
Well I am off, I have lots of yardwork to do in the morning. I'd really like to hear from people (I know I keep putting that in these entries, but yeah, I get so little response) God bless and all that fun stuff. Lataz