Im sorry, I heard about the bad news today, a crowd of people around you,
telling you its ok, and everything happens for a reason, when you lose a part of yourself, to somebody you know, it takes a lot to let go, every breath that you remember, pictures fade away, but memeory is forever, an empty chair at all the tables, an I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down, but its better where you're going anyway, I'm sorry, I heard about the bad news today, tough times and long days, but it really just depends on the season, when you lose a part of yourself, to somebody you know, it takes a lot to let go, every breath that you remember, pictures fade away, but memory is forever, an empty chair at all the tables, an I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down, for now we'll say goodbye, we know its not that last time, I've lost the best part of my day, but its better where you're going anyway, an empty chair at all the tables, an I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down, for now we'll say goodbye, we know its not the last time, I've lost the best part of my day, this is the last thing I, I will remember, its better where you're going anyway.
New Found Glory - Sonny
I can't imagine all the people that you know, and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low, and I dont understand all the things you've seen, but I'm slipping between, you and your big, dreams, its always you, and "my big dreams", and you tell me that its over, wake up lying, in a patch of four leaf clover, and you're restless, and I'm naked, you gotta get out you cant stand to see me shaking no, let me go, I didnt think so, and you dont wanna be here in the future, so you say your presents just a pleasent interuption to the past, and you dont wanna look much closer, cause youre afraid to find out all this hope, you had sent into the sky by now had, crashed, and it did, because of me, and you bring me home, afraid to find that youre alone, and im sleeping in your living room, but we dont have much room, to live, I had these dreams that I might learn to play guitar, maybe cross the country become a rockstar, there was hope in me that i could take you there, but damn it youre so young, but I dont think I care, and if I hurt you, then Im sorry, please dont think that this was easy, then youd bring me home, cause we both know what its like to be alone, and Im dreaming in your living room, but we dont have much room, to live, and konstantine is walking down the stairs, doesnt she look good, standing in her underwear, and I was thinking, what I was thinking, but weve been drinking and it doesnt get me anywhere, my konstantine came walking down the stairs, and all that I could do, was touch her, long, blonde, hair, and Ive been thinking, it hurts me thinking that these nights that we were drinking, no they never got us anywhere, no, this is because I can spell confusion with a k and I can like it, its to dieng in another's arms but why I had to try it, its to jimmy eat world those nights in my car, when the first star you see, may not be a star, im not your star... isnt that what you said, what you thought this song meant, and if this is what it takes, just to ride with my mistakes, and live with what i did to you, all the hell i put you through, i always catch the clock, quarter after 11, now you wanna talk, its not hard to dream, you'll always be my konstantine, my konstantine, theyll never hurt you like i do, no theyll never hurt you like i do, theyll never hurt you like i do, no no theyll never hurt you like i do, no no no this is true girl, this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did, and you know, you keep me up in bed, this is to a girl who got in to my head with all these fucked up things i did, hey baby maybe, you can keep me up in bed, my konstantine, you spin around me like a dream, we lay out on this movie screen, did you know I missed you, did you know I miss you, did you know I miss you, did you know I missed you, did you know I missed you, I miss you, and then you, bring me home, and youre asleep, but this time not alone, and you kiss me in your living room, I know, know you missed me in your living room, cause these nights, I think maybe i missed you in my living room, we dont have much room, i said does anybody need that room, because we all need a little more, room, to live... my konstantine...
Something Corporate - Konstantine
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Damn good song that one... long as all get out, but great song...
Well, I hope everyones holidays went well... Christmas is always a hard time for me personally... It was the time I usually spent with my grandparents and family, so when my grandparents passed into the void... everyone just stopped meeting and getting together... I wake up every Christmas morning almost expecting to see them, such a trivial little desire I guess... As life gets tougher or even easier, I still just wish to see them and talk to them... they were both such great people... I spent this holiday though, with my family... and that was good too... I enjoy my parents more and more as we obtain more and more respect for one another... and I enjoy and love both my sisters a great deal... Though I must say, that my little sister Erin's personality changes have shocked and scared me... I worry about her... She and I used to get a long great, then we didnt, now its a volatile thing... I try to always be nice to her and fair towards what I say to her... but she is just, unpredictable... and not in a good way... I miss when she and I got along great... talked about anything, hung out... and all that happy stuff... I admired her intelligence and determination... not because she is/was more intelligent than i, cause that is not the case, but due to how she used it... how well she glowed with it... I always tried to put a damper on it... she glowed... amazingly so... though as of late that light has dimmed more and more... But yes, we still had a good holiday here... though again, I got nothing I asked for... I rarely do... I give them a list of three things and put at the top "I WANT ONLY ONE OF THESE PLEASE"... and I dont get any of the three things... lol... its depressing, but I deal... New Years Eve was an odd thing... indeed... My son Damien was over... so it was nice to spend his first New Year together... his mother couldnt attend, but I know why that is (she was gettin plastered)... but yeah... Becky and her sister, Carrie, came over as well... that was interesting I must say.. and despite my telling Becky "dont tell your sister he is my son unless she asks"... Becky told her before they got here or when they first got here... so yeah... oh well... not the first time she hasnt done what I asked concerning private matters having to do with me...
Ive gained lots of weight before and during the holidays... more so than Id like... mainly because people shove food in front of me and say eat... and I dont have the will power to say "no, im not hungry, thanks though'... so Im trying currently to only eat when hungry... I mean really hungry... You shouldnt eat until its all you think about... or you cant function without doing so... or at least thats what I believe... I have better things to do and more important things to take care of during those few moments I am eating... so it really isnt worth it at all, in any way shape or form... but yeah...
Becky and I are doing well... we had a rough time I guess... judging by what she says... because I had a habit of being defensive and hurt easily... still do sometimes... and she has no understanding of the tone or way she says things... so she seems to take lots of with-mean-intent stabs at me... and then I get ticked... She currently still has this habit of ignoring me for games or movies... or just not paying attention to me... and I dont mean like I desire her attention 24/7... but like, shell start talking to me about something, I'll comment... and she wont even realize I did... or shell just tune me out... but other than that we are fine...
I've got to get 2 jobs at least... I need to get money to... put Becky through college or help her pay for it, pay for Damien's child support, save up for a car... and get computer parts... which will probably happen while im saving to put Becky through school, cause I need the updated computer for business I do and for gaming... it keeps me sane...
Well, just wanted to let all know how I am... I am going to work out and stuff... right now... see what I am going to be able to do tonight... should be interesting... well.. l8r all.. again... best wishes to all...
New Found Glory - Sonny
I can't imagine all the people that you know, and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low, and I dont understand all the things you've seen, but I'm slipping between, you and your big, dreams, its always you, and "my big dreams", and you tell me that its over, wake up lying, in a patch of four leaf clover, and you're restless, and I'm naked, you gotta get out you cant stand to see me shaking no, let me go, I didnt think so, and you dont wanna be here in the future, so you say your presents just a pleasent interuption to the past, and you dont wanna look much closer, cause youre afraid to find out all this hope, you had sent into the sky by now had, crashed, and it did, because of me, and you bring me home, afraid to find that youre alone, and im sleeping in your living room, but we dont have much room, to live, I had these dreams that I might learn to play guitar, maybe cross the country become a rockstar, there was hope in me that i could take you there, but damn it youre so young, but I dont think I care, and if I hurt you, then Im sorry, please dont think that this was easy, then youd bring me home, cause we both know what its like to be alone, and Im dreaming in your living room, but we dont have much room, to live, and konstantine is walking down the stairs, doesnt she look good, standing in her underwear, and I was thinking, what I was thinking, but weve been drinking and it doesnt get me anywhere, my konstantine came walking down the stairs, and all that I could do, was touch her, long, blonde, hair, and Ive been thinking, it hurts me thinking that these nights that we were drinking, no they never got us anywhere, no, this is because I can spell confusion with a k and I can like it, its to dieng in another's arms but why I had to try it, its to jimmy eat world those nights in my car, when the first star you see, may not be a star, im not your star... isnt that what you said, what you thought this song meant, and if this is what it takes, just to ride with my mistakes, and live with what i did to you, all the hell i put you through, i always catch the clock, quarter after 11, now you wanna talk, its not hard to dream, you'll always be my konstantine, my konstantine, theyll never hurt you like i do, no theyll never hurt you like i do, theyll never hurt you like i do, no no theyll never hurt you like i do, no no no this is true girl, this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did, and you know, you keep me up in bed, this is to a girl who got in to my head with all these fucked up things i did, hey baby maybe, you can keep me up in bed, my konstantine, you spin around me like a dream, we lay out on this movie screen, did you know I missed you, did you know I miss you, did you know I miss you, did you know I missed you, did you know I missed you, I miss you, and then you, bring me home, and youre asleep, but this time not alone, and you kiss me in your living room, I know, know you missed me in your living room, cause these nights, I think maybe i missed you in my living room, we dont have much room, i said does anybody need that room, because we all need a little more, room, to live... my konstantine...
Something Corporate - Konstantine
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Damn good song that one... long as all get out, but great song...
Well, I hope everyones holidays went well... Christmas is always a hard time for me personally... It was the time I usually spent with my grandparents and family, so when my grandparents passed into the void... everyone just stopped meeting and getting together... I wake up every Christmas morning almost expecting to see them, such a trivial little desire I guess... As life gets tougher or even easier, I still just wish to see them and talk to them... they were both such great people... I spent this holiday though, with my family... and that was good too... I enjoy my parents more and more as we obtain more and more respect for one another... and I enjoy and love both my sisters a great deal... Though I must say, that my little sister Erin's personality changes have shocked and scared me... I worry about her... She and I used to get a long great, then we didnt, now its a volatile thing... I try to always be nice to her and fair towards what I say to her... but she is just, unpredictable... and not in a good way... I miss when she and I got along great... talked about anything, hung out... and all that happy stuff... I admired her intelligence and determination... not because she is/was more intelligent than i, cause that is not the case, but due to how she used it... how well she glowed with it... I always tried to put a damper on it... she glowed... amazingly so... though as of late that light has dimmed more and more... But yes, we still had a good holiday here... though again, I got nothing I asked for... I rarely do... I give them a list of three things and put at the top "I WANT ONLY ONE OF THESE PLEASE"... and I dont get any of the three things... lol... its depressing, but I deal... New Years Eve was an odd thing... indeed... My son Damien was over... so it was nice to spend his first New Year together... his mother couldnt attend, but I know why that is (she was gettin plastered)... but yeah... Becky and her sister, Carrie, came over as well... that was interesting I must say.. and despite my telling Becky "dont tell your sister he is my son unless she asks"... Becky told her before they got here or when they first got here... so yeah... oh well... not the first time she hasnt done what I asked concerning private matters having to do with me...
Ive gained lots of weight before and during the holidays... more so than Id like... mainly because people shove food in front of me and say eat... and I dont have the will power to say "no, im not hungry, thanks though'... so Im trying currently to only eat when hungry... I mean really hungry... You shouldnt eat until its all you think about... or you cant function without doing so... or at least thats what I believe... I have better things to do and more important things to take care of during those few moments I am eating... so it really isnt worth it at all, in any way shape or form... but yeah...
Becky and I are doing well... we had a rough time I guess... judging by what she says... because I had a habit of being defensive and hurt easily... still do sometimes... and she has no understanding of the tone or way she says things... so she seems to take lots of with-mean-intent stabs at me... and then I get ticked... She currently still has this habit of ignoring me for games or movies... or just not paying attention to me... and I dont mean like I desire her attention 24/7... but like, shell start talking to me about something, I'll comment... and she wont even realize I did... or shell just tune me out... but other than that we are fine...
I've got to get 2 jobs at least... I need to get money to... put Becky through college or help her pay for it, pay for Damien's child support, save up for a car... and get computer parts... which will probably happen while im saving to put Becky through school, cause I need the updated computer for business I do and for gaming... it keeps me sane...
Well, just wanted to let all know how I am... I am going to work out and stuff... right now... see what I am going to be able to do tonight... should be interesting... well.. l8r all.. again... best wishes to all...