hard times...

[oompa_loompa_lu]

I dont know if i should be writing this but I feel like I just need to get it all out.. ok so the boys dads in the hospital and has been for a few weeks now.  He was in there before for about a month and was doing better but now.. back in there.. we went to see him last friday and it scares me so much to be in there.  Everything about death freaks me out.  Seeing people in there in so much pain ugh.  Ok so about his dad... he is going to have to get a heart transplant.  SOOOOO SCARY! Their mom is breaking down... shes one of the nicest people I have ever met.  The kind of person who would put you before herself any time.  Its terrible.. shes been waking up to go to work around 12:30 every night.. gets to work and works all day from about 2am -5 pm.  then goes home is awake for a few hours and usually goes to sleep around 7 or 8.   Shes been doing that for around 5 years now.  Shes not sleeping.. over working doing stuff for the kids.. and now all of this.  Her husband is in the hospital. their company is slowing falling apart .. its like things just get worse and worse.  They are good people.. the kindest family I know.  They almost took me in for my senior year of highschool.  They pretty much are like my family.  It makes me so sad to see this happening to them.  Their dad is just as nice and caring as their mom.  I heard today about how much it could be just for all the medication for after he gets the heart.. absolutely nuts.. they are already losing money with the business and now they have all these hospital bills and then all the heart stuff and then all the medications and the nurses they would have to pay to come to the house.. all the days they will have to miss from work to take care of him... all kinds of things.  They dont deserve all the bad.  They truly dont.  I love that family and would do anything for them as i know they would do the same for me.  Its just all scary to me.  Just the fact of getting a new heart is terrifying.. what if his body rejected it?  Wow.. I dont even want to think about that.. but I can see it in the boys eyes.. its killing him. ya know.. ya get older and this is what happens but the boys are 16 and matts 19.. ugh.. hope everything works out.  It puts a lot of things in to perspective though.. its like why fight the little things when you dont need to.    Why worry about those things that in a few days or months you wont even remember happened? Its not worth it.  Focus on the good and the bad will work itself out.. ugh.  This kinda makes me regret some of the things I have done in the past.. like sitting and dwelling on relationships... also makes me wonder why I didnt see some people for who they really are... the good and the bad..The one thing I have learned is you have to appreciate the things/ people you have in your life because you never know how long things will last.

"everythings gonna be alright... youve got me"