TF crack fic, The Wizard of Odd
I was going to toss some bunnies into the tf_bunny_farm to get rid of them... but I made the mistake of reading them instead... I got mauled.... It's pure crack.
Plot bunnies came from here. http://tf-bunny-farm.livejournal.com/387615.html
1) Red Alert is the wicked witch of the east, Optimus is the good witch of the North, Prowl and Jazz are munchkins, Cliffjumper is Toto and Inferno swears these ruby slippers aren’t his! (Set in G1)
7) "I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you"
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The Wizard of Odd (bunnies 1 & 7)
Inferno came online with a start and shook his head in confusion. He stared as he watched Red Alert argue with Optimus and tried not to crash as he realized both of them were wearing sparkly dresses and... WIGS? and where the heck were they? This was not the Ark.
He tried to interrupt them but it was no good, for some reason they seemed to be arguing about... slippers?
“They are MY slippers.”
“No they aren’t.”
“Yes they are.”
“AREN'T”
“ARE”
Finally Inferno had enough and yelled “Just what in the Pit is going on here?” Only to be promptly ignored.
He nearly crashed as what looked to be oddly proportioned, miniature versions of Prowl and Jazz came up to him. They were wearing the weirdest outfits, made of more than one fabric and the brightest neon colours he had ever seen. Jazz tapped on his leg and pointed at what looked like a mini version of the Ark, while Prowl explained the situation.
“Your ship landed on the Wicked Witch of the West. His ruby slippers are supposed to be yours.”
Inferno let out a sigh as he looked towards the indicated direction and saw what looked like Sideswipe's feet sticking out from under the Ark, with sparkly red slippers on them. “Oh you have GOT to be kidding...”
“Nope! I ain't jokin'” Jazz gave him a big grin “Oh ya, nice dog.” Inferno looked down to see Cliffjumper, or at least he thought it was Cliffjumper....
Sitting at his feet and wagging his tail, Cliffjumper looked like some weird cross between an earth dog and a Cybertronian... Inferno just stared... He was sure that he was going to crash soon... but unfortunately he wasn't that lucky.
Optmius finally yelled “They are HIS” and pointed a wand at Inferno, who tried to dodge, but failed and he found himself wearing the ruby slippers.
Hopping on one foot while trying to remove said slippers, Inferno started cussing in Cybertronian.
“They ARE NOT MINE!”
Red Alert and Optimus ignore his protests and keep arguing. The flying monkey versions of Starscream and Megatron that appeared next were the last straw, and Inferno crashed.
Inferno on-lined to the sight of the med-bay ceiling and an argument between Ratchet and Wheeljack.
“Wheeljack.... I'm blaming you for this... You and your inventions... What were you thinking? Giving the Twins access to your lab?!”
“But Ratchet, it wasn't my fault....”
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
Inferno turned his head to look at Ratchet and Wheeljack to ask what had happened. He promptly crashed as he saw Ratchet wearing a poofy, sparkly white dress while holding a wand and waving it in a threatening manner at Wheeljack.
Plot bunnies came from here. http://tf-bunny-farm.livejournal.com/387615.html
1) Red Alert is the wicked witch of the east, Optimus is the good witch of the North, Prowl and Jazz are munchkins, Cliffjumper is Toto and Inferno swears these ruby slippers aren’t his! (Set in G1)
7) "I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you"
------
The Wizard of Odd (bunnies 1 & 7)
Inferno came online with a start and shook his head in confusion. He stared as he watched Red Alert argue with Optimus and tried not to crash as he realized both of them were wearing sparkly dresses and... WIGS? and where the heck were they? This was not the Ark.
He tried to interrupt them but it was no good, for some reason they seemed to be arguing about... slippers?
“They are MY slippers.”
“No they aren’t.”
“Yes they are.”
“AREN'T”
“ARE”
Finally Inferno had enough and yelled “Just what in the Pit is going on here?” Only to be promptly ignored.
He nearly crashed as what looked to be oddly proportioned, miniature versions of Prowl and Jazz came up to him. They were wearing the weirdest outfits, made of more than one fabric and the brightest neon colours he had ever seen. Jazz tapped on his leg and pointed at what looked like a mini version of the Ark, while Prowl explained the situation.
“Your ship landed on the Wicked Witch of the West. His ruby slippers are supposed to be yours.”
Inferno let out a sigh as he looked towards the indicated direction and saw what looked like Sideswipe's feet sticking out from under the Ark, with sparkly red slippers on them. “Oh you have GOT to be kidding...”
“Nope! I ain't jokin'” Jazz gave him a big grin “Oh ya, nice dog.” Inferno looked down to see Cliffjumper, or at least he thought it was Cliffjumper....
Sitting at his feet and wagging his tail, Cliffjumper looked like some weird cross between an earth dog and a Cybertronian... Inferno just stared... He was sure that he was going to crash soon... but unfortunately he wasn't that lucky.
Optmius finally yelled “They are HIS” and pointed a wand at Inferno, who tried to dodge, but failed and he found himself wearing the ruby slippers.
Hopping on one foot while trying to remove said slippers, Inferno started cussing in Cybertronian.
“They ARE NOT MINE!”
Red Alert and Optimus ignore his protests and keep arguing. The flying monkey versions of Starscream and Megatron that appeared next were the last straw, and Inferno crashed.
Inferno on-lined to the sight of the med-bay ceiling and an argument between Ratchet and Wheeljack.
“Wheeljack.... I'm blaming you for this... You and your inventions... What were you thinking? Giving the Twins access to your lab?!”
“But Ratchet, it wasn't my fault....”
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
Inferno turned his head to look at Ratchet and Wheeljack to ask what had happened. He promptly crashed as he saw Ratchet wearing a poofy, sparkly white dress while holding a wand and waving it in a threatening manner at Wheeljack.