I picked up my bag of secrets

[oolongindc]

And journeyed up the mountain side. It is always a new, but familiar place each time I visit. I took only what I thought I needed and discovered that I needed less. I'm now realizing how much less I actually need. It was nice being distracted by others. Being lulled into an altered state of awareness where the colours are brighter and the intention is less cloudy.

I gained an understanding of myself of how much more I have to understand about myself. We are so complex and we never take the time to stop and think about our own life. Not how we interact with others, but how we interact with our own body, mind and energy. How it feels to be out of shape and useless feeling and in constant pain; pain that never really goes away and returns at the most horrendous time and keeps me from truly enjoying anything. This is why I used drugs. To dull the pain and make things seem better. Yeah, it's not a rational thought. I don't think I was even CONSCIOUSLY thinking; it was more like reactionary thought.

I'm learning to admit that I need to take more responsibility for myself. It is my life after all. No one else can live it for me; moreover, I can't let anyone influence my emotions.

I had a wonderful time at the mountain and was able to let go of a lot.