Life and Learning
When I was a child, I felt like I was always doing something wrong, and that there would always be someone else who knew better. I learned to distrust myself and to look to those around me to find "the answer." Well into young adulthood, I followed the same pattern: If I had a tough decision to make, I would call anyone who would listen, spill my guts about all the potential scenarios, and listen to the "sage advice" coming from the receiver.
A few years ago, I couldn't stop feeling like an idiot, even though I think I had done pretty well in life. If I made any mistake, I would give myself hell, but I would end up making some of the same mistakes from being so worked up about making them. It's like how one day you can just grab the hot cup of coffee out of the vending machine and walk over to your desk without a hitch, but the next day you think too much about not spilling anything and end up doing just that. Some things in life should not be brooded over.
Somehow, I got over the feeling-like-an-idiot bit, and now I look around me and see all the mistakes other people make. Of course I had noticed these things in the past, but they seem much more prominent now. I see newscasters making mistakes every day. I look at them and think to myself, "That's what separates the wolves from the sheep." It's not the making mistakes part that matters; it's that you have enough confidence to make mistakes but still strive to be the best at what you do.
Currently, I keep contemplating what to do, even though I know the inevitable outcome. It is a matter of when, not if. Fear keeps me from making the leap, but for someone who's never really made a leap, it seems vital to do so. The feeling of uncertainty is clearly my adversary, but if I keep trudging on in this secure, yet immensely unfullfilling period in my life, I honestly don't think I could stand it.
I've learned slowly to trust myself. I still listen to the opinions of others, but I do make my own decisions in the end. I just need to be strong enough to make the one that needs to be made in short order.
A few years ago, I couldn't stop feeling like an idiot, even though I think I had done pretty well in life. If I made any mistake, I would give myself hell, but I would end up making some of the same mistakes from being so worked up about making them. It's like how one day you can just grab the hot cup of coffee out of the vending machine and walk over to your desk without a hitch, but the next day you think too much about not spilling anything and end up doing just that. Some things in life should not be brooded over.
Somehow, I got over the feeling-like-an-idiot bit, and now I look around me and see all the mistakes other people make. Of course I had noticed these things in the past, but they seem much more prominent now. I see newscasters making mistakes every day. I look at them and think to myself, "That's what separates the wolves from the sheep." It's not the making mistakes part that matters; it's that you have enough confidence to make mistakes but still strive to be the best at what you do.
Currently, I keep contemplating what to do, even though I know the inevitable outcome. It is a matter of when, not if. Fear keeps me from making the leap, but for someone who's never really made a leap, it seems vital to do so. The feeling of uncertainty is clearly my adversary, but if I keep trudging on in this secure, yet immensely unfullfilling period in my life, I honestly don't think I could stand it.
I've learned slowly to trust myself. I still listen to the opinions of others, but I do make my own decisions in the end. I just need to be strong enough to make the one that needs to be made in short order.