of Tuffi
When I was walking Sirius this morning we saw a pug across the street, and thta longing hit me hard again.
Gods I miss Tuffi. Sometimes I find it amazing that I'm able to live without him. I wouldn't have made it without Sirius though.
But Sirius is not a replacement or substitute for Tuffi. No way. They're too different for that to be possible, besides the fact that I had them side by side for a while *small smile*
But Tuffi used to be my everything. He was there when no one else was. And when I had nowhere to go and was trapped in my crappy life where things were shit in school and shit at home and I didn't have any friends or other family to flee to... then my only small escape was the long walk I could take with Tuffi. My only friend. My lifesaver.
I guess I never stop miss him. I think of him so often. It's been over three years already but I still long for him. Still wish he was here. Still wondering how he would have liked moving to London with me and Sirius, moving here to Göteborg, if he would have had fun at the dog school (he totally would *smile*).
I don't regret letting him go. It was really best that way. It was the right decision. People tell me that if I talk about him (which I don't do all that much, I sort of just carry him on the inside, it kind of hurts to talk about him), and I know that. I know it was the right decision. I don't regret it.
Can't I miss and mourn him anyway?
I depended on him for so many years. He was the only thing making me go on. I think I have a right to miss him.
Next entry will be a crazy amount of pictures of him.
Gods I miss Tuffi. Sometimes I find it amazing that I'm able to live without him. I wouldn't have made it without Sirius though.
But Sirius is not a replacement or substitute for Tuffi. No way. They're too different for that to be possible, besides the fact that I had them side by side for a while *small smile*
But Tuffi used to be my everything. He was there when no one else was. And when I had nowhere to go and was trapped in my crappy life where things were shit in school and shit at home and I didn't have any friends or other family to flee to... then my only small escape was the long walk I could take with Tuffi. My only friend. My lifesaver.
I guess I never stop miss him. I think of him so often. It's been over three years already but I still long for him. Still wish he was here. Still wondering how he would have liked moving to London with me and Sirius, moving here to Göteborg, if he would have had fun at the dog school (he totally would *smile*).
I don't regret letting him go. It was really best that way. It was the right decision. People tell me that if I talk about him (which I don't do all that much, I sort of just carry him on the inside, it kind of hurts to talk about him), and I know that. I know it was the right decision. I don't regret it.
Can't I miss and mourn him anyway?
I depended on him for so many years. He was the only thing making me go on. I think I have a right to miss him.
Next entry will be a crazy amount of pictures of him.