Never enough
It's never enough to admit i'm a failure to you is it? Never enough to repeatedly state the fact whilst i'm crying, whilst im pleading, whilst i'm apologising. I'm a failure, a failure, I fail at everything I do, i'll fail at college, heck i've given up on driving so i'm a failure there too, even if the tin cans of death scared me more than anything in the world. I failed to go to school, I failed to get my GCSEs which needless as they are would of allowed me to venture into the thing I wanted to do for years, more passionately than the animal care courses, but I can't now, i've screwed my life up, heck I wont be able to get a job and i'll be sitting here cutting myself up. Hey, I even failed with my weight didn't I? I couldn't be the girl you wanted, whenever I got close someone would comment on how much I was loosing and i'd panic and gain it all plus some. You know why I can't keep up my charade? Because mother force feeds anyone who gets under 180lbs, anyone at all, it's like a state rule, if she can't loose weight neither can you. Let's face the truth though, i'm a failure at everything I do, why would my disorders be any different?
Oh she rang John for me, and said I wont be driving owing to a 'hysterical benny' and a 'fear of cars' that 'only hypnotherapy would cure' ... yes, that's right, come off the phone cackling away saying it was fun then make me feel worse by saying he'd asked if it was him ¬¬ Yeah, thank you so very much mother, and I know I need to drive, but let me choose when, I wont learn now just because YOU want a damn car to get to the shops in ...
Oh she rang John for me, and said I wont be driving owing to a 'hysterical benny' and a 'fear of cars' that 'only hypnotherapy would cure' ... yes, that's right, come off the phone cackling away saying it was fun then make me feel worse by saying he'd asked if it was him ¬¬ Yeah, thank you so very much mother, and I know I need to drive, but let me choose when, I wont learn now just because YOU want a damn car to get to the shops in ...