(no subject)
I try to look at the good sides to everything.........and one of my goals in life is to be a great person that is inspirational to others...........
but right now i just want to be truly happy.........i want to have to stop fakeing it........
I do have happy moments and look at things in good ways and appreciate life.......but i tend to fake being happy.......it really sucks
I know its a choice you have to make ot be happy.........and i want to make that choice......i try to.........but i just cant for some reason.....
It might be my distorted mind caused by the stereotypical romance movies/stories and tv shows........but i want to be truly happy with the woman of my dreams in my life.......and it seems right now like that is impossible....i know its not........but damnit it does seem that way.........people can be so closed minded.......and people that are not close minded and actually great people do not think they are great and look for people to put them down or make them feel like crap even thought they say they want a good person........when they find a good person they let it go or push it away because they truly dont want that.......they strive on pain.............it just really sucks..........i really want someone to prove me wrong and show me that there are good girls out their that dont look for the bad guys and truly want the good guys..............once again i am going to go to bed alone in my room with my best friend in the other room with his arms wrapped around his g/f................i know its not true........but in the back of my mind i think (or actually feel like) i'm doomed to be alone.......and that is one of the most scariest things ever for me.............i need some advice or something.........i need something to release me from this..........i like life and appreciate it but for some reason i cant enjoy it fully..........i really really want to but i cant................damnit
but right now i just want to be truly happy.........i want to have to stop fakeing it........
I do have happy moments and look at things in good ways and appreciate life.......but i tend to fake being happy.......it really sucks
I know its a choice you have to make ot be happy.........and i want to make that choice......i try to.........but i just cant for some reason.....
It might be my distorted mind caused by the stereotypical romance movies/stories and tv shows........but i want to be truly happy with the woman of my dreams in my life.......and it seems right now like that is impossible....i know its not........but damnit it does seem that way.........people can be so closed minded.......and people that are not close minded and actually great people do not think they are great and look for people to put them down or make them feel like crap even thought they say they want a good person........when they find a good person they let it go or push it away because they truly dont want that.......they strive on pain.............it just really sucks..........i really want someone to prove me wrong and show me that there are good girls out their that dont look for the bad guys and truly want the good guys..............once again i am going to go to bed alone in my room with my best friend in the other room with his arms wrapped around his g/f................i know its not true........but in the back of my mind i think (or actually feel like) i'm doomed to be alone.......and that is one of the most scariest things ever for me.............i need some advice or something.........i need something to release me from this..........i like life and appreciate it but for some reason i cant enjoy it fully..........i really really want to but i cant................damnit