what the...
Alright so I am aware that these entries tend to be on the serious side...but i'm in an emotional state. I just talked to my parents over something stupid like a credit card application and i started crying! There was no reason for it! And last night seeing my friends at SMC was a bad idea. I can't decide whether I am actually doing myself more harm or not...seeing everyone at mass last night was great...really wonderful. But the drive home was torture and all I could think was that I miss life. Sure, I'm working right now but I feel like i'm running in place. I have no destination...no goal and I don't know where I'm running to. It was one thing this summer to sort of stand still for a while trying to decide where my next step was going to be...its another to have taken that step and somehow found yourself on a merry go round that isn't so merry. Not only that but now i have somehow gotten myself thinking of past things...like a certain relationship that never even got a chance...the one relationship I wanted to actually give a chance. Not only that but all of this is topped off with the fact that I think i am starting to bindge again...I haven't done that since last year and it's a little worrisome. Hopefully this week will be more on the up...and it is possible that all of this is hormones. If i ever got pregnant I would feel bad for every person around me. I'd probably start crying in stupid places like a grocery store! Anyways...I could probably go on and on and on forever but I don't think dwelling on bad feelings makes them go away.