Recentment will kill you.
I pretty much isolated this thing for the, i dont know what time it is now.
My life is somewhat of a mess at the time being.
In the past months, or rather year... I've given the attempts to do many things to set my life straight but for some reason i can never go through with it.
about a week ago i tried to set things straight with her and she ignored my email. I know she read it because it tells me she did but she didnt bother on trying to answer, so im giving up on that. Like I said in the email... im doing it to make myself feel better about things. Now that i tried theres nothing else to do and thats where im going to leave it at.
As far as my love-life. I was really happy but like many times before, it was taken away from me. Only difference this time was that it really hit me hard. I had many breakdowns during a month period of time; everything was going wrong for me. Seriously, the month of February was the worst. Suicide ran through my mind and i was ready to give up. However spending time with Paulina made things better for me. It seems that shes always there no matter what. And yes, we have a weird friendship because we disappear on each other at times but i am now glad she found me. Like sometimes I wish she would be around more because I always need someone to hear me out and she is perfect at that. Not only that but she understands me and never has negative shit to say. she always knows the right words to use and when to use them.
Im working on getting over the guy that broke my heart, and im kind of there. Thing is that just when im ready to give it all up he pops up being the sweetest things there is. I dont know if he knows what he is doing to me, becuase sometimes i feel he is doing it on purpose but i dont think he would dare to do that. He says he is confused and doesnt know what to do but i feel he expects me to be there for whenever he gets through his dillema and as of right now i really im trying to hold on, its not as much as before but im holding on by this one thin thread. i just cant give up on him. When i see him i dont get butterflies like i used to; he killed them himself. but i do wish things were different because even though the rush isnt there... my heart feels for him. and I know he does too because i can feel his heartbeat race at 100mph when i am lying next to him in bed with my head on his chest. He also became very jealous of the guys i talk to. Its cute because i know he still cares but i wish I didnt have to put him through all that. I dont know if he likes being in this situation and its not like i put im there, he put himself there. life is so confusing.
On the other hand i feel BETRAYED by someone i trusted. And i dont know the real deal behind all this but the fact that i was told what was said really hurt me. I never went to others with her personal shit. But its okay. only comes to proof to me that hardly anyone is worth trusting in. Life does go on, and just cus another person has screwed me over doesnt mean im going to fall on my knees. Ill just walk right through this with my head up high. And for the ones that continue to keep me in their mouths. Just stop it now. Im not important enough to keep update with my life. Seriously. I dont go around asking or talking about you please just stay out of my life. What i do with my life is my choice and weather what you heard is a lie or true you shouldnt care. because ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS.
as for work. still in the same place. minimun wage but i love it. i feel loved in that place.
My life is somewhat of a mess at the time being.
In the past months, or rather year... I've given the attempts to do many things to set my life straight but for some reason i can never go through with it.
about a week ago i tried to set things straight with her and she ignored my email. I know she read it because it tells me she did but she didnt bother on trying to answer, so im giving up on that. Like I said in the email... im doing it to make myself feel better about things. Now that i tried theres nothing else to do and thats where im going to leave it at.
As far as my love-life. I was really happy but like many times before, it was taken away from me. Only difference this time was that it really hit me hard. I had many breakdowns during a month period of time; everything was going wrong for me. Seriously, the month of February was the worst. Suicide ran through my mind and i was ready to give up. However spending time with Paulina made things better for me. It seems that shes always there no matter what. And yes, we have a weird friendship because we disappear on each other at times but i am now glad she found me. Like sometimes I wish she would be around more because I always need someone to hear me out and she is perfect at that. Not only that but she understands me and never has negative shit to say. she always knows the right words to use and when to use them.
Im working on getting over the guy that broke my heart, and im kind of there. Thing is that just when im ready to give it all up he pops up being the sweetest things there is. I dont know if he knows what he is doing to me, becuase sometimes i feel he is doing it on purpose but i dont think he would dare to do that. He says he is confused and doesnt know what to do but i feel he expects me to be there for whenever he gets through his dillema and as of right now i really im trying to hold on, its not as much as before but im holding on by this one thin thread. i just cant give up on him. When i see him i dont get butterflies like i used to; he killed them himself. but i do wish things were different because even though the rush isnt there... my heart feels for him. and I know he does too because i can feel his heartbeat race at 100mph when i am lying next to him in bed with my head on his chest. He also became very jealous of the guys i talk to. Its cute because i know he still cares but i wish I didnt have to put him through all that. I dont know if he likes being in this situation and its not like i put im there, he put himself there. life is so confusing.
On the other hand i feel BETRAYED by someone i trusted. And i dont know the real deal behind all this but the fact that i was told what was said really hurt me. I never went to others with her personal shit. But its okay. only comes to proof to me that hardly anyone is worth trusting in. Life does go on, and just cus another person has screwed me over doesnt mean im going to fall on my knees. Ill just walk right through this with my head up high. And for the ones that continue to keep me in their mouths. Just stop it now. Im not important enough to keep update with my life. Seriously. I dont go around asking or talking about you please just stay out of my life. What i do with my life is my choice and weather what you heard is a lie or true you shouldnt care. because ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS.
as for work. still in the same place. minimun wage but i love it. i feel loved in that place.