(no subject)
Im starting to realize the only times Im really emotional are because someone else is upset. I have this stupid knack for bearing everyone else's burden. I can't really think of anything wrong with my life, as far as just me and how Ive been doing, its just everyone around me.
For the first time in my life Im having to deal with alot of death. It's weird though, Im not sad for myself losing these people, but sad for their families and loved ones. For some reason in my thought process I never really think about how I am one of those loved ones too.
Last night was fun, but I started feeling bad for someone. It's like I dont feel like I diserve to be having fun while someone so dear to me is totally miserable. It's this inner guilt that I have over breaking up with Donald comes and goes that just drives me crazy. I just dont want anyone else to feel horrible because of me.
I dont know why I was freaking out last night but all I wanted was to be alone and sleep. I had so much on my mind, and wanted to talk, but I dont like pushing my problems on anyone else.
I actually almost got a hotel until my dog jumped on my purse and started growling when I tried to leave. He is totally confused because of the going ons of the last couple weeks, and I think is really afraid Im going to leave him.
So I hopped on the couch and fell asleep, to wake up with my little dog curled around my neck. It's a great day, Im thinking about sitting out on the lawn and re-reading Invisible Monsters.
For the first time in my life Im having to deal with alot of death. It's weird though, Im not sad for myself losing these people, but sad for their families and loved ones. For some reason in my thought process I never really think about how I am one of those loved ones too.
Last night was fun, but I started feeling bad for someone. It's like I dont feel like I diserve to be having fun while someone so dear to me is totally miserable. It's this inner guilt that I have over breaking up with Donald comes and goes that just drives me crazy. I just dont want anyone else to feel horrible because of me.
I dont know why I was freaking out last night but all I wanted was to be alone and sleep. I had so much on my mind, and wanted to talk, but I dont like pushing my problems on anyone else.
I actually almost got a hotel until my dog jumped on my purse and started growling when I tried to leave. He is totally confused because of the going ons of the last couple weeks, and I think is really afraid Im going to leave him.
So I hopped on the couch and fell asleep, to wake up with my little dog curled around my neck. It's a great day, Im thinking about sitting out on the lawn and re-reading Invisible Monsters.