(no subject)
everyone goes away in the end
[info]guttertomars
2005-04-04 13:21 (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
this is going to sound a bit...contrived. a bit...lame. but...we'll see.
i'm not sure why we live this way. maybe it was the first thing that worked...and they ran with it. A lot of the ways things "should be"...are stupid...and ridiculous. For those things that are more larger and more important in scope...you have three choices. You can do them...but with no cause...no drive...no emotion...but where would that lead to. The end result would be just as empty as the effort. There would still...be nothing in the end. You can do them...with some sort thriving desire...even if it is faked...the drive to finish something...no wait...if it is faked. Then there is still nothing there. Shit...I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. No sleep sucks. It's getting to me.
I don't want to do any of this either. None of this. I want to run away from it all just as well. But...that would be taking a possible leap...into...well the abyss. What if one could never come back to where they were. The unknown possibilities are what drive peoples fears...what drives the way things are "supposed to be."
I don't even know why I keep on. But...I don't think I have much option. I honeslty don't want to be one the street...or god knows working 40 hour weeks at some place like Office Depot. I think...the drive...or the reason we do sometimes what we do...is some hope. Some greener grass. Now whether you ever get there...is based totally on your interpretation of the results. And how you view things.
To me...if I can come out of this life...happy...nothing else will have mattered...the school...the all nighters...the towed cars...the over priced concert tickets..lol...the mistakes and the failures...nothing will mean anything if at the end...I sit back and smile.
I believe we exist...to live. To do what we will...to spend these 80 some ought years generously given [and sometimes taken away]...to do what we want. To follow whatever we want...to use everything we gather...to make some kind of meaning for ourselves...not necessarily a place...but more like...something we can be happy with. Whatever it may be.
The only thing that matters in this life though. Is what you want.
Shit...ok I'm done talking. I'm so tired i'm about to fall over. lol. I went on a rant. Oops.
lol.
i need to go to class soon. you're ditching i know it.
[info]guttertomars
2005-04-04 13:21 (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
this is going to sound a bit...contrived. a bit...lame. but...we'll see.
i'm not sure why we live this way. maybe it was the first thing that worked...and they ran with it. A lot of the ways things "should be"...are stupid...and ridiculous. For those things that are more larger and more important in scope...you have three choices. You can do them...but with no cause...no drive...no emotion...but where would that lead to. The end result would be just as empty as the effort. There would still...be nothing in the end. You can do them...with some sort thriving desire...even if it is faked...the drive to finish something...no wait...if it is faked. Then there is still nothing there. Shit...I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. No sleep sucks. It's getting to me.
I don't want to do any of this either. None of this. I want to run away from it all just as well. But...that would be taking a possible leap...into...well the abyss. What if one could never come back to where they were. The unknown possibilities are what drive peoples fears...what drives the way things are "supposed to be."
I don't even know why I keep on. But...I don't think I have much option. I honeslty don't want to be one the street...or god knows working 40 hour weeks at some place like Office Depot. I think...the drive...or the reason we do sometimes what we do...is some hope. Some greener grass. Now whether you ever get there...is based totally on your interpretation of the results. And how you view things.
To me...if I can come out of this life...happy...nothing else will have mattered...the school...the all nighters...the towed cars...the over priced concert tickets..lol...the mistakes and the failures...nothing will mean anything if at the end...I sit back and smile.
I believe we exist...to live. To do what we will...to spend these 80 some ought years generously given [and sometimes taken away]...to do what we want. To follow whatever we want...to use everything we gather...to make some kind of meaning for ourselves...not necessarily a place...but more like...something we can be happy with. Whatever it may be.
The only thing that matters in this life though. Is what you want.
Shit...ok I'm done talking. I'm so tired i'm about to fall over. lol. I went on a rant. Oops.
lol.
i need to go to class soon. you're ditching i know it.