true story.
my mother and i sat on my bed staring at the new contraption she purchased without my consent or knowledge.
"The numbers are big." I said.
I walked back out to my computer and let her figure out what exactly one is supposed to do with such a instrument. With my dad out of the house in the morning doing only god knows what, and my mom and i being in no hurry to start the day, this little obscene object was necessary.
"What time do you want me to set it to?" she yelled from the other room.
I replied with what i thought was an appropriate time.
"Can't you set it so it turns on the radio when it goes off?" I shouted.
"No, this isn't a radio one." she replied.
"Sweet, you got a ghetto one."
"Sweetheart, it's not ghetto, it's got big numbers. didn't you see the big numbers? I wonder what it sounds like when it goes off."
"It better not be an incessant beeping noise or i'll break it."
The echoing sound of 'BEEPPPPPP, BEEPPPPP BEEPPPP' radiated from the other room. Excellent, something to look forward to in the morning. A headache accompanied by the urge to stratch my eyes out.
"oh jesus fucking christ mom, i'm going to kill myself if i have to wake up to that obnoxious noise." i yelled.
"you'll get used to it." she answered.
This new affliction had become my enemy within minutes. It's bold red face stared at me as i attempted to sleep, making me uneasy. It was lurking silently in the dark, waiting for an unsuspecting victim to doze off so that it could make a horrifyingly loud racket. Something had to be done to end this vile little clock's life. I reached for the socket.. and yanked as hard as i could.
"Mom, i refuse to conform to the standards of another individual's concept of a socially acceptable time to cease my pleasant slumber." I yelled to my mom across the hall.
She laughed because she loves me.
I closed my eyes.
Goodnight.
"The numbers are big." I said.
I walked back out to my computer and let her figure out what exactly one is supposed to do with such a instrument. With my dad out of the house in the morning doing only god knows what, and my mom and i being in no hurry to start the day, this little obscene object was necessary.
"What time do you want me to set it to?" she yelled from the other room.
I replied with what i thought was an appropriate time.
"Can't you set it so it turns on the radio when it goes off?" I shouted.
"No, this isn't a radio one." she replied.
"Sweet, you got a ghetto one."
"Sweetheart, it's not ghetto, it's got big numbers. didn't you see the big numbers? I wonder what it sounds like when it goes off."
"It better not be an incessant beeping noise or i'll break it."
The echoing sound of 'BEEPPPPPP, BEEPPPPP BEEPPPP' radiated from the other room. Excellent, something to look forward to in the morning. A headache accompanied by the urge to stratch my eyes out.
"oh jesus fucking christ mom, i'm going to kill myself if i have to wake up to that obnoxious noise." i yelled.
"you'll get used to it." she answered.
This new affliction had become my enemy within minutes. It's bold red face stared at me as i attempted to sleep, making me uneasy. It was lurking silently in the dark, waiting for an unsuspecting victim to doze off so that it could make a horrifyingly loud racket. Something had to be done to end this vile little clock's life. I reached for the socket.. and yanked as hard as i could.
"Mom, i refuse to conform to the standards of another individual's concept of a socially acceptable time to cease my pleasant slumber." I yelled to my mom across the hall.
She laughed because she loves me.
I closed my eyes.
Goodnight.