exo: kiss quick
kiss quick
- Lu Han/Kyungsoo. NC-17. 8450 words.
- there are two trophies to be won in end-of-the-year awards shows: the gold one that you receive on stage and the one you clutch tight under the dinner table, shielded from the rest of the world. (Warnings: semi-public foreplay?, rimming, fisting)
- march 8, white day advent calendar, for seafoamblues. also on AO3.
- p.s. kyungsoo didn't shove his fist up lu han's ass, fret not. no asses were harmed in the production of this fic. thank you ♥
Kyungsoo looks around him a few times and adjusts the bowtie he's wearing. There's got to be at least a hundred faces here he doesn't know, and then some fifty that are familiar but only just. Maybe a couple thirty he's seen more than once - in variety shows, guestings, on television or in movies, what have you - but the reality is that this place? Being in the midst of all these actors and actresses and flashing lights? It's all unfamiliar. Too unfamiliar, in fact, that as soon as he exits the red carpet, the first thing he does is to head straight to the comfort room to breathe and just be alone.
"Why hello there, little guy," comes a familiar voice, startling Kyungsoo out of his reverie. He widens his eyes, takes a deep breath, and holds all the air in his lungs right there as he swallows hard around the lump in his throat. His nose twitches in retaliation. "Didn't think I'd see you here."
Didn't think I'd see you here, Kyungsoo almost says when he looks to his side. He knows this face, has woken up to it a couple of time on the off chance that all twelve of them were staying in one dorm and not in two separate countries. He's seen it burning at the back of his eyelids after recordings in the booth that last for hours on end, has seen it swimming in his cup of coffee when the person hovers. And he's seen it so close to his. Too close, in fact, that at one point he knew exactly how many pimples there were on the man's cheeks, too close that he knew that the man's lips were almost always chapped, rough, not the type of lips you'd see idols licking in ice cream commercials or during performances when they had to be the best thing since sliced bread and win hearts over.
So he takes a deep breath. Gulps down hard, as well, and drops the hand he had pressed to the base of his throat down to his chest. "You'll get make up on your polo. You wouldn't want to do that," says the guy now, walking even closer to where Kyungsoo is. Two more steps and there it is again, the faint marks of the pimples stylists have spent minutes trying to hide, a touch of familiarity in the way the man's lips curl up at the corners as he smiles.
"You always ruin it with your smile," Kyungsoo mutters. He turns around, dropping his hand to the counter of the sink. He breathes out. "Seriously, hyung, drop the smile. Everything was much better without it."
Lu Han hovers. He's still wearing that weird smile on his lips, albeit a bit softer now. The corners of his eyes are still crinkled like he just can't contain his amusement behind his teeth. And he's still scrunching his nose a little in that weird look Kyungsoo has never been able to blink away. Months after Lu Han's retirement from the band and Kyungsoo still gets that weird, sinking sensation in his stomach that feels a lot like taking two, three punches to the gut when he sees Lu Han in the news, in old pictures as a band, in Chanyeol's Line contacts when Kyungsoo feels like snooping around, looking over Chanyeol's shoulder and just staying for a while. So when Lu Han moves closer, threading his hands through Kyungsoo's hair, Kyungsoo stills. Holds his breath and feels for the strong pulse at the base of his throat, the back of his knees and his ears, all of which aren't touching Lu Han.
"I missed you, too, buddy," Lu Han says, then closes his eyes into half moon crescents. Then he gives Kyungsoo's hair a light ruffle, messing up the back just a little. "A bit rougher and a lot more natural. That suits you better."
Kyungsoo snorts. He leans in for a bit, succumbing to the warmth, then he's turning on the faucet and drawing his palm closer to the foaming water to spray the stream in Lu Han’s direction. Some things are easier said in actions, anyway, like I didn't miss you, but I did miss us and but don't tell anyone I said that. They told me not to care. I'm not supposed to care. The next thing he knows, Lu Han's suit is drenched in front and Lu Han's eyes are blown wide, mouth hanging agape. Then Lu Han's grabbing him by the front of his shirt, twisting his fist in his clothes, pulling him closer. And then Lu Han's splashing water in his face - in retaliation or as a response to the unspoken message, Kyungsoo can't tell. All he knows right now is that they look like silly kids playing dress-up, set to sit in for an awarding ceremony too long as adults.
"The media's gonna have a field day," Lu Han says later, on their way out of the bathroom, suits still two shades darker than when they were dry.
Kyungsoo snorts. He feels oddly light and warm. "Let them."
♡
"You'll be alright all alone, right?" A small smile, then, "Cool. I'll just walk around for a bit. I'll be back!"
Kyungsoo waves over his shoulder and snorts. He was with some of the cast members of his debut film just a few minutes ago, talking about everything but the ceremony, but they'd all started disappearing one by one, probably to go look for other friends in the industry they hadn't seen in a while. Maybe even to take a dump or just take a break from being cooped up in a place for so long with the knowledge that they won't even be bringing home an award, anyway. Kyungsoo gets that, the crippling feeling of helplessness and uncertainty, of not knowing when the stupid ceremony would end and when their suffering would, as well. He's felt it too many times already - during those times when his voice would crack in the middle of recording, or when he just couldn't get the steps right during dance practice. When he couldn't nail the delivery for a scene he’d supposedly been practicing for days, weeks, months already during taping, couldn't even remember where he put that bloody script when he was so sure he was holding it tight just minutes ago. Little things like those pile up on you after a while, and when you're trapped in a dark place it's almost inevitable for you to feel like you're being forced to face those fears, one by one.
So when Lu Han decides to slip right beside him to take the unoccupied seat to his left, he isn't surprised. In fact, he’d been counting - the hours, minutes, seconds until Lu Han would show up behind him or even send him a text, a quick message telling him to go wherever Lu Han was, let’s make it quick. Besides, it won’t be the first time they’d be helping each other out during ‘work hours’. Friends do that - help each other out, provide a bit of warmth, a form of relief and release at the height to tension. He addresses Lu Han with a nod, then, a small smile, a soft whisper as he says, “Was beginning you’d fallen asleep already. "
Lu Han drops his hand to Kyungsoo’s thigh, then hums as he drags his seat closer to where Kyungsoo is. “Aww, that’s cute.” A long sigh, then, "Still a worrywart, eh?"
Kyungsoo snorts. Change isn’t easy, he wants to tell Lu Han, but Lu Han doesn’t need to be told twice - by circumstance and by a former bandmate, one of the people he’d spent the most number of hours locked up in the recording booth with. Old habits die hard, after all, like Kyungsoo rolling his eyes in response instead of saying ‘yes’ without another thought, like Lu Han drumming a beat on his thigh instead of saying more and making his voice soar above the commentary a few meters away from them. Some things, like the way Lu Han stops tapping his fingers there and instead splays them on the material of Kyungsoo’s pants before sliding his hand up the stretch of Kyungsoo’s thigh - these are familiar. Too familiar a song that Kyungsoo falls into step with it even before Lu Han starts rubbing tight circles on his pants and humming a tune under his breath.
He licks his lips, coaxing them to part, then takes a sharp breath. Then he looks to his side, cocking an eyebrow at Lu Han just a little, enough to steal Lu Han's attention and to make him stop. “Really?"
Lu Han lifts his eyebrows, lips curled up at the corners into a peculiar smile, but digs his heel into Kyungsoo’s skin to lift his fingers just the same. “Hmm? I dunno what you’re talking about."
“Right, Kyungsoo murmurs, shaking his head as he sinks back into his seat. Part of him wants to ask, who the hell are you kidding, but he knows better than to question Lu Han about such things. Off-cam and without performance adrenaline coursing through his veins, Lu Han speaks better with his limbs, with the goofy smile stretching across his lips and the gentle slide of his hand across Kyungsoo’s waist when Kyungsoo walks too fast, drifting from the group. Trying to extract words from him is like trying to sort grains of sand by color, by texture. So the first time Lu Han walked up to him with lips too red from being worried too much and his fingers busy with the hem of his shirt, he just furrowed his eyebrows, tilted his head, then asked in a quiet voice, “You okay, hyung?"
Joonmyun passed right behind them and clasped warm hands on their shoulders. “Everything alright?”
Lu Han gave him what could have been the ugliest grin and said, “Yeah, we’re cool,” before grabbing Kyungsoo by the wrist. Halfway through them running down the corridor, he whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear, sort of like they were spies on a mission, “Guard the door. I’m serious, you better guard the door or else. Make sure no one comes within a five-foot radius-"
“While you get yourself off in your stage clothes,” Kyungsoo’d finished, shaking his head. He stepped inside the comfort room, nonetheless, pressing his palms to the counter as Lu Han licked his lips. He needed to be away from the rest of the group, anyway, where everyone was either too nervous to move or too listless to stay still and just stay quiet. He had nowhere better to be. So he turned around, facing Lu Han in earnest now and looking at him more closely. Here, with the white, unflattering light shining down on Lu Han, he could see the flush on Lu Han’s cheeks better, his unfocused gaze that kept dropping from where Lu Han was looking at him in the eye down to his mouth and then back up in an instant. Could see his billowing chest and the way a drop of sweat trickled down the sides of his face, tracing the curve of his cheeks. He sort of understood it now, what people were saying about Lu Han looking a bit too good to be true - Lu Han had a face people like him would die for.
He had a face Kyungsoo would maybe be interested in tainting with a mark or two along the column of his neck and-
He gulped down hard, shook his head. Muttered under his breath as Lu Han sucked in his bottom lip at the same time that he licked the tension away from the corners of his mouth, “Yeah, sure, go ahead. Just… don’t be too loud or anything-"
“Do you… need to-“ Lu Han made these weird pumping gestures in the air that looked more like him sizing up a cucumber than anything else. “I mean, are you feeling, I dunno, tense or anything-"
Kyungsoo gulped hard, then traced a line from the swell of Lu Han’s lips down the column of his throat, and then further south to the beginnings of a bulge in his pants. His breath hitched. “I’m good,” he answered before he could say something else, then turned around to face his reflection once again. “Go, have fun. Fifteen minutes."
For a moment, he thought he saw a flash of disappointment in Lu Han’s features, but soon Lu Han was disappearing behind the door of the cubicle. Yeah. Have fun without me.
Lu Han leans even closer now, their thighs glued together in the sides and Lu Han's foot hooked on Kyungsoo's ankle. I'm not going anywhere, Kyungsoo's tempted to say, tempted to remind Lu Han, but soon he chokes on his own spit when Lu Han snakes his hand even higher, up, up, up his thigh. He can feel Lu Han's knuckles grazing his crotch through the material of his pants, can feel the thundering pulse at the back of his knees quicken even more when Lu Han presses hard there, grinds just a little, then withdraws his hand until just the tips of his cold fingers are prickling Kyungsoo's erection, hot and heavy between his legs. Part of him wants to grab Lu Han by the wrist - then drag Lu Han to the closest enclosed space so he can exact revenge by sucking Lu Han off, teeth grazing the sensitive skin of Lu Han's cock and tongue leaving long and purposeful licks, then pulling away just before Lu Han comes, or so he can push Lu Han away as soon as he feels his fingers again even before they slip into familiar suits, skins - but his palms feel too sweaty and his chest feels so tight. And the lights are dim, enough that the only thing he can make out in the darkness, on Lu Han's features, is the wicked grin stretched across Lu Han's lips. He doesn't need to see anything else - Lu Han makes sure to make him feel every single thing, from the slow and torturous way Lu Han drags a thumb along his tenting erection to the way Lu Han leans on Kyungsoo's shoulder, tilting his head just so until Kyungsoo can feel Lu Han's lips - chapped, always chapped, too warm and wet from being worried too much - pressed to his skin. On stage, the host is calling out another roster of nominees for some award Kyungsoo can't even make sense of anymore even with the characters flashing before him in big and bold strokes, but then Lu Han steals his attention again, licking the shell of his ear now before cupping a hand on his erection and cloaking it in warmth that Kyungsoo never thought he'd come to hate.
"Fuck-" Kyungsoo bucks his hips in stimulus, then clamps his hand on Lu Han's thigh in retaliation. Lu Han's chuckling, he knows it, can hear and feel it where Lu Han keeps giving the base of his ear light sucks, and he wants nothing more right now than to swallow that sound in the cavern of his much and run his tongue again and again along Lu Han's chapped lips, maybe whisper in his ear, don't do that, don't hurt yourself. I won't be around to lick you clean and kiss you all the time. He wants nothing more than to press Lu Han up against a wall, to run his fingers along the buttons of Lu Han's shirt and pluck each open just to see if Lu Han has changed a bit, if he still knows the wicked contours of Lu Han's body from when they'd last shared more than just a fleeting touch or a chaste kiss. He slides his hand up, then, making sure to score a line with his nail just a few centimeters shy of Lu Han's erection, and that's when Lu Han pulls away for a quick second, blowing hot air, a gasp, onto the sensitive skin of Kyungsoo's ear, and canting his hips until Kyungsoo's feeling Lu Han's warmth brush against his the back of his hand.
"You're going to torture me like this? Really?" Lu Han asks now, breathing out a groan when Kyungsoo ghosts his knuckles over his sensitive skin. His entire body gives a tiny jerk, just enough to tilt them off-axis for a moment, and make Kyungsoo laugh a little. Months after the split and Lu Han still reacts to the slightest touch with a full-bodied shudder. The good kind, Kyungsoo notes when Lu Han soon relaxes against his touch, letting his head fall back onto Kyungsoo's shoulder. And a kiss on the neck, as well, maybe a light suck there, as if disguised as a retaliation, a form of revenge. "You know, not once did I ever think that you're this heartless-"
Kyungsoo snorts. Wish I were, a voice at the back of his mind says. I wish it was that easy. He shuns that away, though, instead wrapping his fingers around Lu Han's wrist and giving it a light tug. Lu Han widens his eyes at that, looking up at him with big, big eyes and a small smile flaunted on the corners of his lips. Kyungsoo's stomach does this weird, tiny tumble. He almost wants to run away. "I... guess you can call this an apology."
"Oh," Lu Han whispers, lips parted into a soft little 'o'. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "Well, I guess this is a change I can-"
Kyungsoo looks around for an audience, then leans in to give Lu Han's bottom lip a gentle suck. "More action, less talking," he murmurs, then pulls away only to lift both eyebrows at Lu Han as if a reminder of the suggestion he'd only posed with a tug of the wrist. "So?"
Lu Han's lips curl up at the corners in approval. And then Lu Han's standing from where he is, pulling Kyungsoo forward, snatching him away from the scene.
They keep their hands in their pockets on their way to the parking lot, making it past eager fans waiting outside by slipping through the backdoor and making a beeline for Lu Han's car parked nearby. Kyungsoo feels strangely cold all of a sudden, at the gaping lack of warmth between his fingers where Lu Han held onto him earlier, just before twisting the knob of the door. But then nothing's changed, a voice at the back of his mind echoes as he settles inside Lu Han’s car. It's still a mess, receipts lying around along with candy wrappers and plushies that he's collected from fans during those trying times in many different airports. And the seats still smell so faintly but distinctly Lu Han, a mix of strong perfume with a hint of vanilla and then some mint. Then some of the cucumber and melon that's probably from Lu Han's shampoo. Kyungsoo snorts, laughs to himself, at himself. It's so silly, being able to unearth packets of memory just like that and breathe life into them like it hasn't been months since he's last seen Lu Han in the flesh, like it hasn't been months since Lu Han last cupped his cheeks with his sweaty palms and said, more like a goodbye note than a plea, will you please let me top this time around?
"Hey, focus," Lu Han whispers now, joining him at the back. The music in the stereo goes out first; second, the lights. Then Lu Han turns up the airconditioning, mumbling something about the car always being too cold when it's his driver taking him around instead of him exploring places with a car that holds too many memories for him. Kyungsoo shivers at the onset of cold, at the gush of cool wind against his skin, until Lu Han splays his fingers on his chest, guiding him down on the back seat. Lu Han's bracketing him with his arms and that bright smile stretched across his lips. Kyungsoo... sort of wants to wipe that off his face because Lu Han always ruins it with that childlike grin that bares not only his teeth but also his feelings. And he would if he could see better, if it wasn't so cold and if Lu Han wasn't hovering him, keeping him here in this moment, from running away. "Hey, I said, focus-"
"One question," Kyungsoo murmurs, but reaches out to hook his fingers on the belt loops of Lu Han's pants. A half truth, part of him says - he can list at least ten off the top of his head, but he's pretty certain, with the way Lu Han's already sliding his hands across the expanse of his chest, slipping thumbs beneath the material of Kyungsoo's blazer so he can toss that to the floor, that he can only ever blurt out one. Why didn't you ever go back like you said you would, why did you have to tuck me in bed before you left, why did you have to say goodbye when you could’ve just disappeared-
"Why do you keep that gift wrapper lying around?" he asks after a while, when Lu Han presses down on the first button of Kyungsoo's polo with his thumb, then slides it down when the button comes off with a dull 'pop'. "The checkered one. In your console-"
Lu Han hovers. He widens his eyes for a second, pulling away to look to his side, then he's shaking his head a little and breathing out packets of laughter. "Not lying around," he argues, then leans in to plant a soft kiss to the tip of Kyungsoo's nose. "That one isn't trash. It's... a lucky charm of sorts."
"Shut up," Kyungsoo whispers in response, breathing out in a low exhale. With the dim lighting from outside, he can only make out the wicked grin on Lu Han's lips, can only see a hint of Lu Han crinkling his eyes into half moon crescents, but that's enough a harbor for him to reach up to, shoving his palm against Lu Han's face until he can feel the slow-forming smile on Lu Han's lips stretch against his skin. "Just-"
Just stop, he means to say, but then he's reaching further up, curling his fingers on the base of Lu Han's nape and pulling Lu Han closer until he can ghost his lips on Lu Han's forehead, the bridge of his nose, the jut of his top lip. Lu Han parts his lips open more to laugh than in invitation, but Kyungsoo capitalizes on that split-second of surrender, anyway, licking along the seam of Lu Han's lips and sucking long and hard on his bottom lip. Lu Han breathes out a moan, balls trembling fingers into fists in Kyungsoo's shirt, and his knees are weakening. So Kyungsoo keeps pulling him in, pushes himself up against the door and reels Lu Han even closer until Lu Han has one knee pressed to his thigh and his other foot pressed firmly to the floor, keeping him in balance and in check. Half of him feels silly slipping back into a really bad habit, but half of him feels that this is right, somehow - Lu Han tilting his head back a little but whispering Kyungsoo's name like a prayer, Lu Han dropping his hands to Kyungsoo's thighs and coaxing them open, pushing them farther apart. Lu Han pulling away for a quick second, breathing long and deep, and asking, "Are you okay with this?"
Kyungsoo parts his lips, then shivers a little when he feels the cool air from the airconditioning catch on his lips. "Yes," he whispers, nodding as he plays with a button of Lu Han's polo with his thumb. Yes, of course. I'm more than okay with this.
It takes a while for them to slip out of their suits, careful still to not crinkle them too much but still in haste with the way Kyungsoo pushes his pants all the way down in a fluid motion until they're bunching on his ankles. Lu Han helps him slip off of them completely and sets both their clothes on the floor but tosses their polos in front, landing in a messy lump somewhere on the console. Maybe even the dashboard, Kyungsoo muses - Lu Han isn't so good at gauging just the right amount of power he needs to do things, to shoot a crumpled piece of paper into the waste basket, to pull Kyungsoo even closer until their limbs are sliding against each other, goosepimples scrawled all over their skin. Kyungsoo capitalizes on that, then, pushing Lu Han down on the seat and peppering Lu Han's chest with kisses, light sucks, leaving bright marks on Lu Han's skin. He hears Lu Han's breath hitch at the first contact, feels Lu Han trembling against the wet press of his lips on Lu Han's skin. And he feels like some silly kid feeling around for clues, trying to find his way home. Barely any light from outside reaches them, keeps them aglow, and he'd love to see the way the red marks bloom on Lu Han's skin - and then, tomorrow, how they'll burn and remind Lu Han of the things, the people he's left behind - but this will have to do, he tells himself. It's been so long he's been touched, since he's last tried to map out the wicked contours of Lu Han's body in his head, his own hands roaming his own body as he shuts his eyes and imagines Lu Han was touching him, instead. It's been so long since he's last felt Lu Han wrap his warm fingers around his cock, been so long since he's last melted into the touch and tried to hold back the sound and swallow it even before it can spill from his lips. So he bucks into Lu Han's touch, rolls his hips a little as Lu Han jerks him off, and leaves these little bites and sucks along the slope of Lu Han's neck in silent response.
"Missed this-" Lu Han chokes out, voice dropping to a throaty moan when Kyungsoo dips his head to lick along a nipple, then give it a light suck. He threads his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair soon after, grabbing a fistful when Kyungsoo pulls away just a little to look up at him, humming where his bottom lip catches on Lu Han's nipple. "Missed you so much-"
Kyungsoo gulps down hard, then breathes out a low exhale. Lu Han's body gives another jerk - at the sudden rush of cold or at the light prickling sensation curling around his nipple, Kyungsoo can't tell yet, but no matter, he says to himself. Lu Han's struggling to look up at him through half-lidded eyes and Lu Han's lips are trembling but he isn't saying a word, isn't taking anything back. It's almost as if he means it, and maybe he does because Lu Han would be the type to laugh at his own joke as soon as he delivers it but he isn’t joking now. And Lu Han feels warm. The air all around them is cold, almost chilly, and they're stripped to just their skin and there are months of being apart, of not having each other within an arm’s reach, miles upon miles of words left unsaid stretched between them, keeping them apart, and yet Lu Han still feels warm in the awkward fit of their bodies. So Kyungsoo keeps giving, wraps his lips around Lu Han's nipple again as he flicks the other with his thumb. He draws lazy circles on Lu Han's skin until Lu Han's canting his hips, until Lu Han's grabbing him by the ass again and pulling him up until their lips meet and until Kyungsoo can feel the slide of their dicks against each other.
"Fuck-" Lu Han manages to croak out in between gentle nips on Kyungsoo's bottom lip, manages to slip his hand between their chests to bring their cocks together in his grip. Kyungsoo groans at that, digging his nails into Lu Han's sides as he scrambles for purchase on Lu Han's chest, hips, his skin, but then he can feel Lu Han's thundering pulse against the underside of his cock, drumming a steady beat there that Lu Han drags up and down as he jerks them both off in easy strokes. He can feel his thighs trembling, can feel the dull ache in his jaw from kissing Lu Han too much and holding back too little, and he can feel the burn of each drag of Lu Han's palm against their skin. It's stings, maybe even hurts, but then each touch is electric. And Lu Han makes the pain more bearable with his heated kisses, with the way he sucks long and hard on Kyungsoo's tongue like he's trying to draw out every single confession that Kyungsoo has long pushed to the very back of his throat.
"Do you- Is this what you-" Kyungsoo chokes on his speech when Lu Han rubs on the tip of his cock, running his thumb along the slit then smearing precum on the sensitive skin. He tenses all over for a second, holding his breath in, then drops his hands to his sides so he can push himself up, regain ground, and find the equilibrium he'd lost when Lu Han guided him inside his car and backed him up against the door. He catches a few quick breaths, then, timed with the tight circles Lu Han is rubbing on his warm skin as he asks, "Was this what you had in mind-oh God, Lu Han-when you walked up to me earlier-"
"Yes. And no," Lu Han whispers, then presses even harder on the tip of Kyungsoo's cock like he's using that as a distraction, as his quick escape from the unspoken question he could have answered before he left or even before he pulled Kyungsoo into the cubicle that fine day, back in the comfort room before one of their first performances as a group, because he couldn't get off without visuals and Kyungsoo looked good in anything, even in his own skin and with the red marks Lu Han had sucked on his skin blooming across his chest. Lu Han'd offered to get him off then, said he'd drop to his knees right after he came if Kyungsoo could just touch him like he really wanted to because it feels different if someone else is doing it to me, you know what I mean?
Kyungsoo does him a favor, then, tries to ease the answer out of him by wrapping his fingers around Lu Han's dick and giving it a light squeeze. Only then does Lu Han stop, does Lu Han look up at him to meet his gaze and to widen his eyes at him. Only then does Lu Han begin to slot his fingers between Kyungsoo's own to guide Kyungsoo's hand where he wants to be touched, where he needs Kyungsoo most, where he wants to be kept warm. "I wanted to be fucked so badly because it’s been so long but it's cramped in here and I don't want to give you back aches and-"
"If you want something then say it," Kyungsoo mumbles. He drags his loose fist up, shivering when he feels the slide of his warm palm and Lu Han's cool fingers against their cocks, pressed so close together. "You can't keep people guessing all the fucking time-"
“Fuck me,” Lu Han breathes out, then, teeth clamping down on Kyungsoo’s bottom lip before giving it a light suck. Kyungsoo’s touch wavers for a quick second, then he’s gripping their cocks hard again, moving his fist up and down to the rhythm that Lu Han sets for him. “Just like old times, baby."
Kyungsoo laughs a little but kisses back, anyway, sucking on the corners of Lu Han’s lips before pressing their mouths together again in an inelegant slide. “Told you never to-call me that-“ he gasps out as he feels Lu Han slide a warm palm along his balls before giving them a quick squeeze. Told you to stop making me fall-
Kyungsoo motions for Lu Han to get up, to set them back in motion, to get on his knees and lift his chest up with palms pressed to the sticky leather beneath them. Lu Han does as he is told, then, pulling back his shoulders and cracking his neck as he gets up, but not without leaning in for a kiss first, wrapping his legs around Kyungsoo's waist for a few quick seconds to lick a stripe along the underside of Kyungsoo's jaw, to blow warm breath there, to assault the sensitive skin with feather-light kisses before leaving a long, purposeful suck. Kyungsoo digs his nails into Lu Han's skin where he's half holding Lu Han up and half keeping himself steady in response, afraid to lose balance and afraid to fall, still. He can feel the thundering pulse at the back of his ears, at the base of his throat, in his palms as he sucks two slim fingers in his mouth and coat it with saliva, as Lu Han marvels at him before turning around, holding himself up by his knees. "Come on," Lu Han groans, even jerks his foot back a little to hit Kyungsoo in the knee. And Kyungsoo knows he has every right to complain because he knows Lu Han isn't asking for an ordinary fuck, but then he's already lost all his words, dropped them to the back of Lu Han's throat when Lu Han kissed him just minutes ago like it was the only thing he could do to stay alive.
So instead, he laughs, leans in and presses a cool thumb on Lu Han's rim and rubs there for a few seconds before spreading Lu Han's cheeks apart. "Patience," Kyungsoo murmurs, then leans even closer until his lips hover Lu Han's entrance. "Only good boys get rewarded, remember?"
"Never bothered with keeping appearances-oh-"
Lu Han throws his head back at the first contact of Kyungsoo's tongue along his rim. Kyungsoo can feel Lu Han's muscles tensing where he has his cheeks pressed to Lu Han's ass, can feel the cool shiver that crawls down Lu Han's spine as he licks another time, then another, then another. It's been ages since they've last done this and when they did, it was just for demonstration, 'experimentation' purposes, but Kyungsoo can still recall the way Lu Han's body reacts to every single burst of pleasure from the pulsing suction of his lips sucking on Lu Han's rim - Lu Han would curl in and then jerk his feet back and then mumble a soft apology, but his pleas would always soar above the tiny whimpers that spill from his lips. Right now, Lu Han's saying, "Fuck, Kyungsoo- Fuck, I can't-take- Don't- Don't you dare-" Don't you dare dip your tongue inside, Kyungsoo almost asks, because the last time he did that Lu Han cried out in a throaty moan, reached south to touch himself as Kyungsoo alternated between licking and sucking and probing his tongue in Lu Han's rim? Because after that, Lu Han turned around even before he could reach his release, leaned in to give Kyungsoo a sloppy kiss, tasting himself there, before dipping his head to suck Kyungsoo off? Don't you dare stop, because the last time Kyungsoo did, Lu Han groaned in frustration and kept Kyungsoo from reaching his release even as he thrust one, two, three fingers in Kyungsoo, each five minutes apart, until he was twisting his fist inside Kyungsoo and feeling every jerk of Kyungsoo's body as his knuckles grazed Kyungsoo's hole? Don't you dare get too gentle, too intimate, because the last time they did, they fell asleep in each other's arms and almost missed the alarm because it was the best sleep they'd gotten in years? Kyungsoo can't tell at the moment. All he knows is that Lu Han keeps whispering words, sentences, confessions, things Kyungsoo has never head him utter, not once, during those three long years that they spent hopping from one schedule to another, conquering the world, conquering each other's heart.
"You're the only-" Lu Han's breath hitches when Kyungsoo pulls away, but soon Kyungsoo's replacing his tongue with a slick finger, probing Lu Han with a nice, easy thrust. "-one who's ever-"
Gotten it right, Kyungsoo finishes in his head. The next weekend following Valentines' day two years ago - Lu Han told him that before between choked whimpers. He'd contemplated then between pulling away to give Lu Han a kiss or to give him head as he pumped his fingers in Lu Han's entrance. He did neither, because the next thing he knew Lu Han was riding his face, eyes tightly shut and chin tucked where Kyungsoo could see Lu Han between his legs. It wasn't the most flattering of faces or of angles, but Lu Han made it work somehow, made it easy for Kyungsoo to keep going, suck on his rim again, and then wiggle a finger or two inside as he pumped Lu Han's cock with his free hand. You make everything feel right, Lu Han'd told him minutes after his release, face buried in the crook of Kyungsoo's neck, lips, wet and warm, leaving shallow marks on Kyungsoo's skin. I don't know how you do it. You just- There's something about you that makes me-
"More," Lu Han whispers, syllables drawn out, slurred. He's looking over his shoulder, trying so hard to look up at Kyungsoo through half-lidded eyes and a thick cloak of arousal draping over him, in the way darts out his tongue every so often to wet his lips, or the way he grinds against Kyungsoo's hand in an effort to feel more, so Kyungsoo responds right away, pressing one last kiss to Lu Han's rim before leaning back. Slowly, Kyungsoo coats his fingers with saliva again, and then he's pressing one cool digit on Lu Han's entrance before pushing it inside in light and easy jerks. Lu Han shivers all over at the intrusion, muscles clamping all around Kyungsoo's finger and, shit, Kyungsoo can feel the burn of the slide of his skin against Lu Han's own, can feel every jerk of Lu Han's body as he pushes even deeper, slowly pulls his finger out, and then thrusts back in in one fluid motion. For a few minutes, he hears nothing but the sound of Lu Han's heavy breathing, or the light squeak of the material of the seats when Lu Han shifts a little, presses back against Kyungsoo's hand, then rakes his nails along the seat even more when Kyungsoo tries to crook his finger inside. Lu Han feels a bit more loose now, a bit more relaxed even if he's bucking his hips back, yearning friction, so Kyungsoo introduces another digit, carefully slipping it in before twisting both inside Lu Han. He can feel Lu Han tense all around him again, but Lu Han keeps saying, "Go on, go on, just- More, please-" looks over his shoulder another time with a soft smile pulling up the corners of his lips and some beads of sweat trickling along the curve of his cheek. Kyungsoo can make out the faint image of the lines on Lu Han's forehead and he wants to reach over to smooth his thumb over those scribbles, maybe even pull up that smile coloring the corners of Lu Han's mouth even more (and then suck a mark on the underside of Lu Han's jaw, then on slope of his neck, then on base of his throat where he'll be able to feel the vibrations of Lu Han's whimpers the strongest), but Lu Han's voice echoes in his mind so loud and strong, rings in his ears until it's all that he can hear even above the low humming of the air conditioning. So he keeps giving, thrusts one more finger inside Lu Han, scissors them in slow, dizzying patterns as he tries to stretch Lu Han out even more.
"Can you take another?" he asks after a while, choking just before he ends. Lu Han gives the softest, most beautiful hum in response, and Kyungsoo feels a shiver crawling up his neck and curling around his nape all at once. He can feel his cock stir between his legs as he fits another digit inside Lu Han, as he twists his hand and pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in with much force. "Just- Just let me know if-"
"I can take anything-" Lu Han answers, syllables tumbling from his lips and into a faint gasp when Kyungsoo crooks his fingers just so. Breathing out, he adds, "-s'long as it's from you-"
Shut up, Kyungsoo almost says, but the sinking sensation at the pit of his stomach, the wild thumping in his chest, thenvoices all screaming give in at the back of his head all get the better of him. So instead, he keeps mum, keeps stretching Lu Han's, reaching over to stroke Lu Han's length with his free hand and shivering at the warmth slide of Lu han's cock in his palm.
He takes a deep breath after a while, then leans back in to lick along Lu Han's rim a few more times. He gives the pucker a light suck and hums when Lu Han groans, thin and reedy, chest billowing in accord. He can feel the cool pool of saliva on his chin now, can feel it making the slide of his fingers inside a bit easier. He pulls away, then, only halfway through, and introduces one last digit, slipping his thumb inside and guiding his hand in Lu Han with a slow, languid push. Lu Han screams at that, blurting out expletives between syllables of Kyungsoo's name, between moans and whimpers and whispers that Kyungsoo can't seem to make out anymore, lost in a frenzy of all the little sounds that Lu Han has been making. And he can feel Lu Han's thighs shaking against the back of his hand as he gives Lu Han's cock light, easy jerks, as he unwraps his fingers from Lu Han's arousal gently so he can steady his hand on Lu Han's abdomen, rubbing slow circles with his thumb as he peppers the small of Lu Han's back with kisses.
"Kyung-soo-" Lu Han gasps, lets his face fall forward until he's resting his forehead on the seat, keeps looking at Kyungsoo from between his legs like he wants to see if Kyungsoo's enjoying this as much as he is. If Kyungsoo's still doing alright because Lu Han's an asshole like that, making people feel like he cares when he really doesn't. When he shouldn't be giving a fuck at all. Lu Han breathes out, long and loud, then he's licking his lips in search of the words that keep eluding him. "You-" he begins, pausing only when his breath hitches at the next twist of Kyungsoo's fist inside him. "I want you-"
Kyungsoo takes a deep, shaky breath, then swallows around the thick lump in his throat that won't go away. If Lu Han says it one more time, then he might just believe it. He might just give himself away.
"Center con-" Lu Han coughs out, then tilts his head to his right. "Just beside the wrapper-"
Don't give in, Kyungsoo tells himself, yet he peels himself off of Lu Han, anyway, pulling his hand away in a slow, gentle motion, and shivering when the wave of cold wraps around his once warm skin. Lu Han's just gone without this for so long. Lu Han just needs another body to keep him warm. Lu Han's just looking for a good fuck, nothing more. Don't give in just yet. So Kyungsoo shakes off the strange voices at the back of his head, then reaches for the center console, rummaging through the things slotted in the little space there - letters from fans, dated 2013. More folded paper with titles written in front, possibly songs Lu Han had composed at random times, when he couldn't sleep and he'd call up Yixing to just get crazy thoughts out of his system. The gift wrapper from years ago, from Kyungsoo, and then condoms of different colors. He grabs one in haste - he knows Lu Han never buys the flavored ones, anyway, just collects different colors for variety, just in case, so it doesn't matter. All that matters now is the way Lu Han is looking at him, watching his every move, hands still pressed down on the seat instead of touching himself so that he can reach his release his already. Not the way the slide of his palm against his cock feels when he gives it a slick twist to ease the burn he'd been long enduring before snapping the condom in place, but the way Lu Han turns around so that he can watch Kyungsoo touch himself for a few quick seconds. Not the way Lu Han reaches south, sliding his palm along his thigh, but the way he bites the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep himself from grinning but failing so miserably, just the same.
"You're really cute, did you know that?" Lu Han whispers.
"Not cute," Kyungsoo grumbles but inches closer to Lu Han, anyway. He runs his hands up Lu Han's thighs, then, and motions for Lu Han to lift his legs with cool fingers skating up Lu Han's back. "C'mon, help me out here-"
Lu Han leans in, then catches Kyungsoo's bottom lip between his teeth as he gets up on his knees, teetering forward. For a moment, Kyungsoo's convinced that Lu Han means to leave a mark there the same way that he'd littered scars on people before he left for something better for himself, but soon Lu Han's kissing him. Not a wild clash of tongues, or one of those juvenile kisses where everything is messy, uncoordinated, all teeth and no tongue - Lu Han reaches up to cup Kyungsoo's cheeks with trembling fingers as he eases himself down on Kyungsoo's cock, then gives Kyungsoo's bottom lip a gentle suck. Lu Han licks the cavern of Kyungsoo's mouth, presses staccato kisses on the corners of Kyungsoo's lips. And they're kissing, memorizing each other's mouths like the second they part they know they'll lose their way forever. Lu Han's rocking his hips now, grinding against Kyungsoo in easy jerks, so Kyungsoo meets him halfway. They fall into a familiar enough rhythm - Lu Han slowing down like he needs to feel the burn of Kyungsoo's cock stretching him even more open, like he's shivering in the cold and the only way for him to thaw out is by rolling his hips in tandem with Kyungsoo's own. Kyungsoo snaking one arm around Lu Han's waist then curling his fingers on Lu Han's nape so he can angle Lu Han's head better, for easier access, so he can leave more red marks on Lu Han’s skin. Any minute now, Kyungsoo muses when he feels Lu Han clenching around him yet still bouncing on his lap, when Lu Han buries his face in the crook of Kyungsoo's neck and breathes out little whimpers that prickle Kyungsoo's skin. When Lu Han lets out a strangled cry as Kyungsoo guides his fist up and down Lu Han's length in steady pumps set to the rhythm of Lu Han's heavy breathing. And he can feel himself nearing his climax as well, even more when Lu Han leans back a little to cup his cheeks with his hands again and just looks at him, weary eyes searching for clues before he widens them in a flicker of a surprise.
Kyungsoo comes first, spilling inside Lu Han and crushing their lips together as he rides the last waves of his release. Lu Han isn't far off, though, so Kyungsoo tries to move his hand faster, blurring between the tight press of their bodies and the prickling heat of Lu Han's chest pressed to his own. Soon, Lu Han's coming all over Kyungsoo's loose fist, his abdomen, his chest, some of his release even catching on his own chin, so Kyungsoo pulls away from the kiss for a quick second to lick that off, to taste Lu Han better, before leaning in to chase Lu Han's lips again. If Lu Han ever calls him out on his addiction, on his obsession for warmth and for wet lips and the way Lu Han's slow-forming smile carves a home for itself on his skin, then he can easily shrug it off as the need for air, to breathe. Lu Han stole all the air in his chest when he sucked on Kyungsoo's tongue like a man on a mission to etch his name on Kyungsoo's skin; it's only right for Kyungsoo to demand Lu Han to return what's his, to give it back and maybe toss his heart in, as well.
♡
"Nice car," Kyungsoo mutters later, when Lu Han already has his head rested on Kyungsoo's chest, fingers busy dancing steps on Kyungsoo's skin.
Lu Han looks around them for a quick second and groans when he spots the hint of cum on the backrest of the seats, when he gets a whiff of the scent of sex and Kyungsoo's perfume mixed in the air conditioning. "You're paying for my car wash," he says in retaliation, but he makes no effort to peel himself off of Kyungsoo. Instead, he stays there, tilting his head up, up, up until Kyungsoo's meeting him halfway to link their lips again in a kiss.
♡
("You look good in my clothes," Lu Han comments when he slips out of the hotel's bathroom, only to find Kyungsoo curled up in a bathrobe on his bed. Never mind that Kyungsoo'd promised him a second round, or that Kyungsoo'd promised to tell Lu Han what has been happening in the dorms since his departure - Kyungsoo looks perfect like this, face rid of the thick make up he'd worn earlier and instead painted with the softest, gentlest smile. For a moment, Lu Han considers snapping a picture of this but, instead, he only moves closer, taking careful steps to the bed and settling beside Kyungsoo, promising to himself to stay up for the next few hours or at least until they have to slip back into their separate lives again so he can watch Kyungsoo breathe.)
- Lu Han/Kyungsoo. NC-17. 8450 words.
- there are two trophies to be won in end-of-the-year awards shows: the gold one that you receive on stage and the one you clutch tight under the dinner table, shielded from the rest of the world. (Warnings: semi-public foreplay?, rimming, fisting)
- march 8, white day advent calendar, for seafoamblues. also on AO3.
- p.s. kyungsoo didn't shove his fist up lu han's ass, fret not. no asses were harmed in the production of this fic. thank you ♥
Kyungsoo looks around him a few times and adjusts the bowtie he's wearing. There's got to be at least a hundred faces here he doesn't know, and then some fifty that are familiar but only just. Maybe a couple thirty he's seen more than once - in variety shows, guestings, on television or in movies, what have you - but the reality is that this place? Being in the midst of all these actors and actresses and flashing lights? It's all unfamiliar. Too unfamiliar, in fact, that as soon as he exits the red carpet, the first thing he does is to head straight to the comfort room to breathe and just be alone.
"Why hello there, little guy," comes a familiar voice, startling Kyungsoo out of his reverie. He widens his eyes, takes a deep breath, and holds all the air in his lungs right there as he swallows hard around the lump in his throat. His nose twitches in retaliation. "Didn't think I'd see you here."
Didn't think I'd see you here, Kyungsoo almost says when he looks to his side. He knows this face, has woken up to it a couple of time on the off chance that all twelve of them were staying in one dorm and not in two separate countries. He's seen it burning at the back of his eyelids after recordings in the booth that last for hours on end, has seen it swimming in his cup of coffee when the person hovers. And he's seen it so close to his. Too close, in fact, that at one point he knew exactly how many pimples there were on the man's cheeks, too close that he knew that the man's lips were almost always chapped, rough, not the type of lips you'd see idols licking in ice cream commercials or during performances when they had to be the best thing since sliced bread and win hearts over.
So he takes a deep breath. Gulps down hard, as well, and drops the hand he had pressed to the base of his throat down to his chest. "You'll get make up on your polo. You wouldn't want to do that," says the guy now, walking even closer to where Kyungsoo is. Two more steps and there it is again, the faint marks of the pimples stylists have spent minutes trying to hide, a touch of familiarity in the way the man's lips curl up at the corners as he smiles.
"You always ruin it with your smile," Kyungsoo mutters. He turns around, dropping his hand to the counter of the sink. He breathes out. "Seriously, hyung, drop the smile. Everything was much better without it."
Lu Han hovers. He's still wearing that weird smile on his lips, albeit a bit softer now. The corners of his eyes are still crinkled like he just can't contain his amusement behind his teeth. And he's still scrunching his nose a little in that weird look Kyungsoo has never been able to blink away. Months after Lu Han's retirement from the band and Kyungsoo still gets that weird, sinking sensation in his stomach that feels a lot like taking two, three punches to the gut when he sees Lu Han in the news, in old pictures as a band, in Chanyeol's Line contacts when Kyungsoo feels like snooping around, looking over Chanyeol's shoulder and just staying for a while. So when Lu Han moves closer, threading his hands through Kyungsoo's hair, Kyungsoo stills. Holds his breath and feels for the strong pulse at the base of his throat, the back of his knees and his ears, all of which aren't touching Lu Han.
"I missed you, too, buddy," Lu Han says, then closes his eyes into half moon crescents. Then he gives Kyungsoo's hair a light ruffle, messing up the back just a little. "A bit rougher and a lot more natural. That suits you better."
Kyungsoo snorts. He leans in for a bit, succumbing to the warmth, then he's turning on the faucet and drawing his palm closer to the foaming water to spray the stream in Lu Han’s direction. Some things are easier said in actions, anyway, like I didn't miss you, but I did miss us and but don't tell anyone I said that. They told me not to care. I'm not supposed to care. The next thing he knows, Lu Han's suit is drenched in front and Lu Han's eyes are blown wide, mouth hanging agape. Then Lu Han's grabbing him by the front of his shirt, twisting his fist in his clothes, pulling him closer. And then Lu Han's splashing water in his face - in retaliation or as a response to the unspoken message, Kyungsoo can't tell. All he knows right now is that they look like silly kids playing dress-up, set to sit in for an awarding ceremony too long as adults.
"The media's gonna have a field day," Lu Han says later, on their way out of the bathroom, suits still two shades darker than when they were dry.
Kyungsoo snorts. He feels oddly light and warm. "Let them."
♡
"You'll be alright all alone, right?" A small smile, then, "Cool. I'll just walk around for a bit. I'll be back!"
Kyungsoo waves over his shoulder and snorts. He was with some of the cast members of his debut film just a few minutes ago, talking about everything but the ceremony, but they'd all started disappearing one by one, probably to go look for other friends in the industry they hadn't seen in a while. Maybe even to take a dump or just take a break from being cooped up in a place for so long with the knowledge that they won't even be bringing home an award, anyway. Kyungsoo gets that, the crippling feeling of helplessness and uncertainty, of not knowing when the stupid ceremony would end and when their suffering would, as well. He's felt it too many times already - during those times when his voice would crack in the middle of recording, or when he just couldn't get the steps right during dance practice. When he couldn't nail the delivery for a scene he’d supposedly been practicing for days, weeks, months already during taping, couldn't even remember where he put that bloody script when he was so sure he was holding it tight just minutes ago. Little things like those pile up on you after a while, and when you're trapped in a dark place it's almost inevitable for you to feel like you're being forced to face those fears, one by one.
So when Lu Han decides to slip right beside him to take the unoccupied seat to his left, he isn't surprised. In fact, he’d been counting - the hours, minutes, seconds until Lu Han would show up behind him or even send him a text, a quick message telling him to go wherever Lu Han was, let’s make it quick. Besides, it won’t be the first time they’d be helping each other out during ‘work hours’. Friends do that - help each other out, provide a bit of warmth, a form of relief and release at the height to tension. He addresses Lu Han with a nod, then, a small smile, a soft whisper as he says, “Was beginning you’d fallen asleep already. "
Lu Han drops his hand to Kyungsoo’s thigh, then hums as he drags his seat closer to where Kyungsoo is. “Aww, that’s cute.” A long sigh, then, "Still a worrywart, eh?"
Kyungsoo snorts. Change isn’t easy, he wants to tell Lu Han, but Lu Han doesn’t need to be told twice - by circumstance and by a former bandmate, one of the people he’d spent the most number of hours locked up in the recording booth with. Old habits die hard, after all, like Kyungsoo rolling his eyes in response instead of saying ‘yes’ without another thought, like Lu Han drumming a beat on his thigh instead of saying more and making his voice soar above the commentary a few meters away from them. Some things, like the way Lu Han stops tapping his fingers there and instead splays them on the material of Kyungsoo’s pants before sliding his hand up the stretch of Kyungsoo’s thigh - these are familiar. Too familiar a song that Kyungsoo falls into step with it even before Lu Han starts rubbing tight circles on his pants and humming a tune under his breath.
He licks his lips, coaxing them to part, then takes a sharp breath. Then he looks to his side, cocking an eyebrow at Lu Han just a little, enough to steal Lu Han's attention and to make him stop. “Really?"
Lu Han lifts his eyebrows, lips curled up at the corners into a peculiar smile, but digs his heel into Kyungsoo’s skin to lift his fingers just the same. “Hmm? I dunno what you’re talking about."
“Right, Kyungsoo murmurs, shaking his head as he sinks back into his seat. Part of him wants to ask, who the hell are you kidding, but he knows better than to question Lu Han about such things. Off-cam and without performance adrenaline coursing through his veins, Lu Han speaks better with his limbs, with the goofy smile stretching across his lips and the gentle slide of his hand across Kyungsoo’s waist when Kyungsoo walks too fast, drifting from the group. Trying to extract words from him is like trying to sort grains of sand by color, by texture. So the first time Lu Han walked up to him with lips too red from being worried too much and his fingers busy with the hem of his shirt, he just furrowed his eyebrows, tilted his head, then asked in a quiet voice, “You okay, hyung?"
Joonmyun passed right behind them and clasped warm hands on their shoulders. “Everything alright?”
Lu Han gave him what could have been the ugliest grin and said, “Yeah, we’re cool,” before grabbing Kyungsoo by the wrist. Halfway through them running down the corridor, he whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear, sort of like they were spies on a mission, “Guard the door. I’m serious, you better guard the door or else. Make sure no one comes within a five-foot radius-"
“While you get yourself off in your stage clothes,” Kyungsoo’d finished, shaking his head. He stepped inside the comfort room, nonetheless, pressing his palms to the counter as Lu Han licked his lips. He needed to be away from the rest of the group, anyway, where everyone was either too nervous to move or too listless to stay still and just stay quiet. He had nowhere better to be. So he turned around, facing Lu Han in earnest now and looking at him more closely. Here, with the white, unflattering light shining down on Lu Han, he could see the flush on Lu Han’s cheeks better, his unfocused gaze that kept dropping from where Lu Han was looking at him in the eye down to his mouth and then back up in an instant. Could see his billowing chest and the way a drop of sweat trickled down the sides of his face, tracing the curve of his cheeks. He sort of understood it now, what people were saying about Lu Han looking a bit too good to be true - Lu Han had a face people like him would die for.
He had a face Kyungsoo would maybe be interested in tainting with a mark or two along the column of his neck and-
He gulped down hard, shook his head. Muttered under his breath as Lu Han sucked in his bottom lip at the same time that he licked the tension away from the corners of his mouth, “Yeah, sure, go ahead. Just… don’t be too loud or anything-"
“Do you… need to-“ Lu Han made these weird pumping gestures in the air that looked more like him sizing up a cucumber than anything else. “I mean, are you feeling, I dunno, tense or anything-"
Kyungsoo gulped hard, then traced a line from the swell of Lu Han’s lips down the column of his throat, and then further south to the beginnings of a bulge in his pants. His breath hitched. “I’m good,” he answered before he could say something else, then turned around to face his reflection once again. “Go, have fun. Fifteen minutes."
For a moment, he thought he saw a flash of disappointment in Lu Han’s features, but soon Lu Han was disappearing behind the door of the cubicle. Yeah. Have fun without me.
Lu Han leans even closer now, their thighs glued together in the sides and Lu Han's foot hooked on Kyungsoo's ankle. I'm not going anywhere, Kyungsoo's tempted to say, tempted to remind Lu Han, but soon he chokes on his own spit when Lu Han snakes his hand even higher, up, up, up his thigh. He can feel Lu Han's knuckles grazing his crotch through the material of his pants, can feel the thundering pulse at the back of his knees quicken even more when Lu Han presses hard there, grinds just a little, then withdraws his hand until just the tips of his cold fingers are prickling Kyungsoo's erection, hot and heavy between his legs. Part of him wants to grab Lu Han by the wrist - then drag Lu Han to the closest enclosed space so he can exact revenge by sucking Lu Han off, teeth grazing the sensitive skin of Lu Han's cock and tongue leaving long and purposeful licks, then pulling away just before Lu Han comes, or so he can push Lu Han away as soon as he feels his fingers again even before they slip into familiar suits, skins - but his palms feel too sweaty and his chest feels so tight. And the lights are dim, enough that the only thing he can make out in the darkness, on Lu Han's features, is the wicked grin stretched across Lu Han's lips. He doesn't need to see anything else - Lu Han makes sure to make him feel every single thing, from the slow and torturous way Lu Han drags a thumb along his tenting erection to the way Lu Han leans on Kyungsoo's shoulder, tilting his head just so until Kyungsoo can feel Lu Han's lips - chapped, always chapped, too warm and wet from being worried too much - pressed to his skin. On stage, the host is calling out another roster of nominees for some award Kyungsoo can't even make sense of anymore even with the characters flashing before him in big and bold strokes, but then Lu Han steals his attention again, licking the shell of his ear now before cupping a hand on his erection and cloaking it in warmth that Kyungsoo never thought he'd come to hate.
"Fuck-" Kyungsoo bucks his hips in stimulus, then clamps his hand on Lu Han's thigh in retaliation. Lu Han's chuckling, he knows it, can hear and feel it where Lu Han keeps giving the base of his ear light sucks, and he wants nothing more right now than to swallow that sound in the cavern of his much and run his tongue again and again along Lu Han's chapped lips, maybe whisper in his ear, don't do that, don't hurt yourself. I won't be around to lick you clean and kiss you all the time. He wants nothing more than to press Lu Han up against a wall, to run his fingers along the buttons of Lu Han's shirt and pluck each open just to see if Lu Han has changed a bit, if he still knows the wicked contours of Lu Han's body from when they'd last shared more than just a fleeting touch or a chaste kiss. He slides his hand up, then, making sure to score a line with his nail just a few centimeters shy of Lu Han's erection, and that's when Lu Han pulls away for a quick second, blowing hot air, a gasp, onto the sensitive skin of Kyungsoo's ear, and canting his hips until Kyungsoo's feeling Lu Han's warmth brush against his the back of his hand.
"You're going to torture me like this? Really?" Lu Han asks now, breathing out a groan when Kyungsoo ghosts his knuckles over his sensitive skin. His entire body gives a tiny jerk, just enough to tilt them off-axis for a moment, and make Kyungsoo laugh a little. Months after the split and Lu Han still reacts to the slightest touch with a full-bodied shudder. The good kind, Kyungsoo notes when Lu Han soon relaxes against his touch, letting his head fall back onto Kyungsoo's shoulder. And a kiss on the neck, as well, maybe a light suck there, as if disguised as a retaliation, a form of revenge. "You know, not once did I ever think that you're this heartless-"
Kyungsoo snorts. Wish I were, a voice at the back of his mind says. I wish it was that easy. He shuns that away, though, instead wrapping his fingers around Lu Han's wrist and giving it a light tug. Lu Han widens his eyes at that, looking up at him with big, big eyes and a small smile flaunted on the corners of his lips. Kyungsoo's stomach does this weird, tiny tumble. He almost wants to run away. "I... guess you can call this an apology."
"Oh," Lu Han whispers, lips parted into a soft little 'o'. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "Well, I guess this is a change I can-"
Kyungsoo looks around for an audience, then leans in to give Lu Han's bottom lip a gentle suck. "More action, less talking," he murmurs, then pulls away only to lift both eyebrows at Lu Han as if a reminder of the suggestion he'd only posed with a tug of the wrist. "So?"
Lu Han's lips curl up at the corners in approval. And then Lu Han's standing from where he is, pulling Kyungsoo forward, snatching him away from the scene.
They keep their hands in their pockets on their way to the parking lot, making it past eager fans waiting outside by slipping through the backdoor and making a beeline for Lu Han's car parked nearby. Kyungsoo feels strangely cold all of a sudden, at the gaping lack of warmth between his fingers where Lu Han held onto him earlier, just before twisting the knob of the door. But then nothing's changed, a voice at the back of his mind echoes as he settles inside Lu Han’s car. It's still a mess, receipts lying around along with candy wrappers and plushies that he's collected from fans during those trying times in many different airports. And the seats still smell so faintly but distinctly Lu Han, a mix of strong perfume with a hint of vanilla and then some mint. Then some of the cucumber and melon that's probably from Lu Han's shampoo. Kyungsoo snorts, laughs to himself, at himself. It's so silly, being able to unearth packets of memory just like that and breathe life into them like it hasn't been months since he's last seen Lu Han in the flesh, like it hasn't been months since Lu Han last cupped his cheeks with his sweaty palms and said, more like a goodbye note than a plea, will you please let me top this time around?
"Hey, focus," Lu Han whispers now, joining him at the back. The music in the stereo goes out first; second, the lights. Then Lu Han turns up the airconditioning, mumbling something about the car always being too cold when it's his driver taking him around instead of him exploring places with a car that holds too many memories for him. Kyungsoo shivers at the onset of cold, at the gush of cool wind against his skin, until Lu Han splays his fingers on his chest, guiding him down on the back seat. Lu Han's bracketing him with his arms and that bright smile stretched across his lips. Kyungsoo... sort of wants to wipe that off his face because Lu Han always ruins it with that childlike grin that bares not only his teeth but also his feelings. And he would if he could see better, if it wasn't so cold and if Lu Han wasn't hovering him, keeping him here in this moment, from running away. "Hey, I said, focus-"
"One question," Kyungsoo murmurs, but reaches out to hook his fingers on the belt loops of Lu Han's pants. A half truth, part of him says - he can list at least ten off the top of his head, but he's pretty certain, with the way Lu Han's already sliding his hands across the expanse of his chest, slipping thumbs beneath the material of Kyungsoo's blazer so he can toss that to the floor, that he can only ever blurt out one. Why didn't you ever go back like you said you would, why did you have to tuck me in bed before you left, why did you have to say goodbye when you could’ve just disappeared-
"Why do you keep that gift wrapper lying around?" he asks after a while, when Lu Han presses down on the first button of Kyungsoo's polo with his thumb, then slides it down when the button comes off with a dull 'pop'. "The checkered one. In your console-"
Lu Han hovers. He widens his eyes for a second, pulling away to look to his side, then he's shaking his head a little and breathing out packets of laughter. "Not lying around," he argues, then leans in to plant a soft kiss to the tip of Kyungsoo's nose. "That one isn't trash. It's... a lucky charm of sorts."
"Shut up," Kyungsoo whispers in response, breathing out in a low exhale. With the dim lighting from outside, he can only make out the wicked grin on Lu Han's lips, can only see a hint of Lu Han crinkling his eyes into half moon crescents, but that's enough a harbor for him to reach up to, shoving his palm against Lu Han's face until he can feel the slow-forming smile on Lu Han's lips stretch against his skin. "Just-"
Just stop, he means to say, but then he's reaching further up, curling his fingers on the base of Lu Han's nape and pulling Lu Han closer until he can ghost his lips on Lu Han's forehead, the bridge of his nose, the jut of his top lip. Lu Han parts his lips open more to laugh than in invitation, but Kyungsoo capitalizes on that split-second of surrender, anyway, licking along the seam of Lu Han's lips and sucking long and hard on his bottom lip. Lu Han breathes out a moan, balls trembling fingers into fists in Kyungsoo's shirt, and his knees are weakening. So Kyungsoo keeps pulling him in, pushes himself up against the door and reels Lu Han even closer until Lu Han has one knee pressed to his thigh and his other foot pressed firmly to the floor, keeping him in balance and in check. Half of him feels silly slipping back into a really bad habit, but half of him feels that this is right, somehow - Lu Han tilting his head back a little but whispering Kyungsoo's name like a prayer, Lu Han dropping his hands to Kyungsoo's thighs and coaxing them open, pushing them farther apart. Lu Han pulling away for a quick second, breathing long and deep, and asking, "Are you okay with this?"
Kyungsoo parts his lips, then shivers a little when he feels the cool air from the airconditioning catch on his lips. "Yes," he whispers, nodding as he plays with a button of Lu Han's polo with his thumb. Yes, of course. I'm more than okay with this.
It takes a while for them to slip out of their suits, careful still to not crinkle them too much but still in haste with the way Kyungsoo pushes his pants all the way down in a fluid motion until they're bunching on his ankles. Lu Han helps him slip off of them completely and sets both their clothes on the floor but tosses their polos in front, landing in a messy lump somewhere on the console. Maybe even the dashboard, Kyungsoo muses - Lu Han isn't so good at gauging just the right amount of power he needs to do things, to shoot a crumpled piece of paper into the waste basket, to pull Kyungsoo even closer until their limbs are sliding against each other, goosepimples scrawled all over their skin. Kyungsoo capitalizes on that, then, pushing Lu Han down on the seat and peppering Lu Han's chest with kisses, light sucks, leaving bright marks on Lu Han's skin. He hears Lu Han's breath hitch at the first contact, feels Lu Han trembling against the wet press of his lips on Lu Han's skin. And he feels like some silly kid feeling around for clues, trying to find his way home. Barely any light from outside reaches them, keeps them aglow, and he'd love to see the way the red marks bloom on Lu Han's skin - and then, tomorrow, how they'll burn and remind Lu Han of the things, the people he's left behind - but this will have to do, he tells himself. It's been so long he's been touched, since he's last tried to map out the wicked contours of Lu Han's body in his head, his own hands roaming his own body as he shuts his eyes and imagines Lu Han was touching him, instead. It's been so long since he's last felt Lu Han wrap his warm fingers around his cock, been so long since he's last melted into the touch and tried to hold back the sound and swallow it even before it can spill from his lips. So he bucks into Lu Han's touch, rolls his hips a little as Lu Han jerks him off, and leaves these little bites and sucks along the slope of Lu Han's neck in silent response.
"Missed this-" Lu Han chokes out, voice dropping to a throaty moan when Kyungsoo dips his head to lick along a nipple, then give it a light suck. He threads his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair soon after, grabbing a fistful when Kyungsoo pulls away just a little to look up at him, humming where his bottom lip catches on Lu Han's nipple. "Missed you so much-"
Kyungsoo gulps down hard, then breathes out a low exhale. Lu Han's body gives another jerk - at the sudden rush of cold or at the light prickling sensation curling around his nipple, Kyungsoo can't tell yet, but no matter, he says to himself. Lu Han's struggling to look up at him through half-lidded eyes and Lu Han's lips are trembling but he isn't saying a word, isn't taking anything back. It's almost as if he means it, and maybe he does because Lu Han would be the type to laugh at his own joke as soon as he delivers it but he isn’t joking now. And Lu Han feels warm. The air all around them is cold, almost chilly, and they're stripped to just their skin and there are months of being apart, of not having each other within an arm’s reach, miles upon miles of words left unsaid stretched between them, keeping them apart, and yet Lu Han still feels warm in the awkward fit of their bodies. So Kyungsoo keeps giving, wraps his lips around Lu Han's nipple again as he flicks the other with his thumb. He draws lazy circles on Lu Han's skin until Lu Han's canting his hips, until Lu Han's grabbing him by the ass again and pulling him up until their lips meet and until Kyungsoo can feel the slide of their dicks against each other.
"Fuck-" Lu Han manages to croak out in between gentle nips on Kyungsoo's bottom lip, manages to slip his hand between their chests to bring their cocks together in his grip. Kyungsoo groans at that, digging his nails into Lu Han's sides as he scrambles for purchase on Lu Han's chest, hips, his skin, but then he can feel Lu Han's thundering pulse against the underside of his cock, drumming a steady beat there that Lu Han drags up and down as he jerks them both off in easy strokes. He can feel his thighs trembling, can feel the dull ache in his jaw from kissing Lu Han too much and holding back too little, and he can feel the burn of each drag of Lu Han's palm against their skin. It's stings, maybe even hurts, but then each touch is electric. And Lu Han makes the pain more bearable with his heated kisses, with the way he sucks long and hard on Kyungsoo's tongue like he's trying to draw out every single confession that Kyungsoo has long pushed to the very back of his throat.
"Do you- Is this what you-" Kyungsoo chokes on his speech when Lu Han rubs on the tip of his cock, running his thumb along the slit then smearing precum on the sensitive skin. He tenses all over for a second, holding his breath in, then drops his hands to his sides so he can push himself up, regain ground, and find the equilibrium he'd lost when Lu Han guided him inside his car and backed him up against the door. He catches a few quick breaths, then, timed with the tight circles Lu Han is rubbing on his warm skin as he asks, "Was this what you had in mind-oh God, Lu Han-when you walked up to me earlier-"
"Yes. And no," Lu Han whispers, then presses even harder on the tip of Kyungsoo's cock like he's using that as a distraction, as his quick escape from the unspoken question he could have answered before he left or even before he pulled Kyungsoo into the cubicle that fine day, back in the comfort room before one of their first performances as a group, because he couldn't get off without visuals and Kyungsoo looked good in anything, even in his own skin and with the red marks Lu Han had sucked on his skin blooming across his chest. Lu Han'd offered to get him off then, said he'd drop to his knees right after he came if Kyungsoo could just touch him like he really wanted to because it feels different if someone else is doing it to me, you know what I mean?
Kyungsoo does him a favor, then, tries to ease the answer out of him by wrapping his fingers around Lu Han's dick and giving it a light squeeze. Only then does Lu Han stop, does Lu Han look up at him to meet his gaze and to widen his eyes at him. Only then does Lu Han begin to slot his fingers between Kyungsoo's own to guide Kyungsoo's hand where he wants to be touched, where he needs Kyungsoo most, where he wants to be kept warm. "I wanted to be fucked so badly because it’s been so long but it's cramped in here and I don't want to give you back aches and-"
"If you want something then say it," Kyungsoo mumbles. He drags his loose fist up, shivering when he feels the slide of his warm palm and Lu Han's cool fingers against their cocks, pressed so close together. "You can't keep people guessing all the fucking time-"
“Fuck me,” Lu Han breathes out, then, teeth clamping down on Kyungsoo’s bottom lip before giving it a light suck. Kyungsoo’s touch wavers for a quick second, then he’s gripping their cocks hard again, moving his fist up and down to the rhythm that Lu Han sets for him. “Just like old times, baby."
Kyungsoo laughs a little but kisses back, anyway, sucking on the corners of Lu Han’s lips before pressing their mouths together again in an inelegant slide. “Told you never to-call me that-“ he gasps out as he feels Lu Han slide a warm palm along his balls before giving them a quick squeeze. Told you to stop making me fall-
Kyungsoo motions for Lu Han to get up, to set them back in motion, to get on his knees and lift his chest up with palms pressed to the sticky leather beneath them. Lu Han does as he is told, then, pulling back his shoulders and cracking his neck as he gets up, but not without leaning in for a kiss first, wrapping his legs around Kyungsoo's waist for a few quick seconds to lick a stripe along the underside of Kyungsoo's jaw, to blow warm breath there, to assault the sensitive skin with feather-light kisses before leaving a long, purposeful suck. Kyungsoo digs his nails into Lu Han's skin where he's half holding Lu Han up and half keeping himself steady in response, afraid to lose balance and afraid to fall, still. He can feel the thundering pulse at the back of his ears, at the base of his throat, in his palms as he sucks two slim fingers in his mouth and coat it with saliva, as Lu Han marvels at him before turning around, holding himself up by his knees. "Come on," Lu Han groans, even jerks his foot back a little to hit Kyungsoo in the knee. And Kyungsoo knows he has every right to complain because he knows Lu Han isn't asking for an ordinary fuck, but then he's already lost all his words, dropped them to the back of Lu Han's throat when Lu Han kissed him just minutes ago like it was the only thing he could do to stay alive.
So instead, he laughs, leans in and presses a cool thumb on Lu Han's rim and rubs there for a few seconds before spreading Lu Han's cheeks apart. "Patience," Kyungsoo murmurs, then leans even closer until his lips hover Lu Han's entrance. "Only good boys get rewarded, remember?"
"Never bothered with keeping appearances-oh-"
Lu Han throws his head back at the first contact of Kyungsoo's tongue along his rim. Kyungsoo can feel Lu Han's muscles tensing where he has his cheeks pressed to Lu Han's ass, can feel the cool shiver that crawls down Lu Han's spine as he licks another time, then another, then another. It's been ages since they've last done this and when they did, it was just for demonstration, 'experimentation' purposes, but Kyungsoo can still recall the way Lu Han's body reacts to every single burst of pleasure from the pulsing suction of his lips sucking on Lu Han's rim - Lu Han would curl in and then jerk his feet back and then mumble a soft apology, but his pleas would always soar above the tiny whimpers that spill from his lips. Right now, Lu Han's saying, "Fuck, Kyungsoo- Fuck, I can't-take- Don't- Don't you dare-" Don't you dare dip your tongue inside, Kyungsoo almost asks, because the last time he did that Lu Han cried out in a throaty moan, reached south to touch himself as Kyungsoo alternated between licking and sucking and probing his tongue in Lu Han's rim? Because after that, Lu Han turned around even before he could reach his release, leaned in to give Kyungsoo a sloppy kiss, tasting himself there, before dipping his head to suck Kyungsoo off? Don't you dare stop, because the last time Kyungsoo did, Lu Han groaned in frustration and kept Kyungsoo from reaching his release even as he thrust one, two, three fingers in Kyungsoo, each five minutes apart, until he was twisting his fist inside Kyungsoo and feeling every jerk of Kyungsoo's body as his knuckles grazed Kyungsoo's hole? Don't you dare get too gentle, too intimate, because the last time they did, they fell asleep in each other's arms and almost missed the alarm because it was the best sleep they'd gotten in years? Kyungsoo can't tell at the moment. All he knows is that Lu Han keeps whispering words, sentences, confessions, things Kyungsoo has never head him utter, not once, during those three long years that they spent hopping from one schedule to another, conquering the world, conquering each other's heart.
"You're the only-" Lu Han's breath hitches when Kyungsoo pulls away, but soon Kyungsoo's replacing his tongue with a slick finger, probing Lu Han with a nice, easy thrust. "-one who's ever-"
Gotten it right, Kyungsoo finishes in his head. The next weekend following Valentines' day two years ago - Lu Han told him that before between choked whimpers. He'd contemplated then between pulling away to give Lu Han a kiss or to give him head as he pumped his fingers in Lu Han's entrance. He did neither, because the next thing he knew Lu Han was riding his face, eyes tightly shut and chin tucked where Kyungsoo could see Lu Han between his legs. It wasn't the most flattering of faces or of angles, but Lu Han made it work somehow, made it easy for Kyungsoo to keep going, suck on his rim again, and then wiggle a finger or two inside as he pumped Lu Han's cock with his free hand. You make everything feel right, Lu Han'd told him minutes after his release, face buried in the crook of Kyungsoo's neck, lips, wet and warm, leaving shallow marks on Kyungsoo's skin. I don't know how you do it. You just- There's something about you that makes me-
"More," Lu Han whispers, syllables drawn out, slurred. He's looking over his shoulder, trying so hard to look up at Kyungsoo through half-lidded eyes and a thick cloak of arousal draping over him, in the way darts out his tongue every so often to wet his lips, or the way he grinds against Kyungsoo's hand in an effort to feel more, so Kyungsoo responds right away, pressing one last kiss to Lu Han's rim before leaning back. Slowly, Kyungsoo coats his fingers with saliva again, and then he's pressing one cool digit on Lu Han's entrance before pushing it inside in light and easy jerks. Lu Han shivers all over at the intrusion, muscles clamping all around Kyungsoo's finger and, shit, Kyungsoo can feel the burn of the slide of his skin against Lu Han's own, can feel every jerk of Lu Han's body as he pushes even deeper, slowly pulls his finger out, and then thrusts back in in one fluid motion. For a few minutes, he hears nothing but the sound of Lu Han's heavy breathing, or the light squeak of the material of the seats when Lu Han shifts a little, presses back against Kyungsoo's hand, then rakes his nails along the seat even more when Kyungsoo tries to crook his finger inside. Lu Han feels a bit more loose now, a bit more relaxed even if he's bucking his hips back, yearning friction, so Kyungsoo introduces another digit, carefully slipping it in before twisting both inside Lu Han. He can feel Lu Han tense all around him again, but Lu Han keeps saying, "Go on, go on, just- More, please-" looks over his shoulder another time with a soft smile pulling up the corners of his lips and some beads of sweat trickling along the curve of his cheek. Kyungsoo can make out the faint image of the lines on Lu Han's forehead and he wants to reach over to smooth his thumb over those scribbles, maybe even pull up that smile coloring the corners of Lu Han's mouth even more (and then suck a mark on the underside of Lu Han's jaw, then on slope of his neck, then on base of his throat where he'll be able to feel the vibrations of Lu Han's whimpers the strongest), but Lu Han's voice echoes in his mind so loud and strong, rings in his ears until it's all that he can hear even above the low humming of the air conditioning. So he keeps giving, thrusts one more finger inside Lu Han, scissors them in slow, dizzying patterns as he tries to stretch Lu Han out even more.
"Can you take another?" he asks after a while, choking just before he ends. Lu Han gives the softest, most beautiful hum in response, and Kyungsoo feels a shiver crawling up his neck and curling around his nape all at once. He can feel his cock stir between his legs as he fits another digit inside Lu Han, as he twists his hand and pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in with much force. "Just- Just let me know if-"
"I can take anything-" Lu Han answers, syllables tumbling from his lips and into a faint gasp when Kyungsoo crooks his fingers just so. Breathing out, he adds, "-s'long as it's from you-"
Shut up, Kyungsoo almost says, but the sinking sensation at the pit of his stomach, the wild thumping in his chest, thenvoices all screaming give in at the back of his head all get the better of him. So instead, he keeps mum, keeps stretching Lu Han's, reaching over to stroke Lu Han's length with his free hand and shivering at the warmth slide of Lu han's cock in his palm.
He takes a deep breath after a while, then leans back in to lick along Lu Han's rim a few more times. He gives the pucker a light suck and hums when Lu Han groans, thin and reedy, chest billowing in accord. He can feel the cool pool of saliva on his chin now, can feel it making the slide of his fingers inside a bit easier. He pulls away, then, only halfway through, and introduces one last digit, slipping his thumb inside and guiding his hand in Lu Han with a slow, languid push. Lu Han screams at that, blurting out expletives between syllables of Kyungsoo's name, between moans and whimpers and whispers that Kyungsoo can't seem to make out anymore, lost in a frenzy of all the little sounds that Lu Han has been making. And he can feel Lu Han's thighs shaking against the back of his hand as he gives Lu Han's cock light, easy jerks, as he unwraps his fingers from Lu Han's arousal gently so he can steady his hand on Lu Han's abdomen, rubbing slow circles with his thumb as he peppers the small of Lu Han's back with kisses.
"Kyung-soo-" Lu Han gasps, lets his face fall forward until he's resting his forehead on the seat, keeps looking at Kyungsoo from between his legs like he wants to see if Kyungsoo's enjoying this as much as he is. If Kyungsoo's still doing alright because Lu Han's an asshole like that, making people feel like he cares when he really doesn't. When he shouldn't be giving a fuck at all. Lu Han breathes out, long and loud, then he's licking his lips in search of the words that keep eluding him. "You-" he begins, pausing only when his breath hitches at the next twist of Kyungsoo's fist inside him. "I want you-"
Kyungsoo takes a deep, shaky breath, then swallows around the thick lump in his throat that won't go away. If Lu Han says it one more time, then he might just believe it. He might just give himself away.
"Center con-" Lu Han coughs out, then tilts his head to his right. "Just beside the wrapper-"
Don't give in, Kyungsoo tells himself, yet he peels himself off of Lu Han, anyway, pulling his hand away in a slow, gentle motion, and shivering when the wave of cold wraps around his once warm skin. Lu Han's just gone without this for so long. Lu Han just needs another body to keep him warm. Lu Han's just looking for a good fuck, nothing more. Don't give in just yet. So Kyungsoo shakes off the strange voices at the back of his head, then reaches for the center console, rummaging through the things slotted in the little space there - letters from fans, dated 2013. More folded paper with titles written in front, possibly songs Lu Han had composed at random times, when he couldn't sleep and he'd call up Yixing to just get crazy thoughts out of his system. The gift wrapper from years ago, from Kyungsoo, and then condoms of different colors. He grabs one in haste - he knows Lu Han never buys the flavored ones, anyway, just collects different colors for variety, just in case, so it doesn't matter. All that matters now is the way Lu Han is looking at him, watching his every move, hands still pressed down on the seat instead of touching himself so that he can reach his release his already. Not the way the slide of his palm against his cock feels when he gives it a slick twist to ease the burn he'd been long enduring before snapping the condom in place, but the way Lu Han turns around so that he can watch Kyungsoo touch himself for a few quick seconds. Not the way Lu Han reaches south, sliding his palm along his thigh, but the way he bites the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep himself from grinning but failing so miserably, just the same.
"You're really cute, did you know that?" Lu Han whispers.
"Not cute," Kyungsoo grumbles but inches closer to Lu Han, anyway. He runs his hands up Lu Han's thighs, then, and motions for Lu Han to lift his legs with cool fingers skating up Lu Han's back. "C'mon, help me out here-"
Lu Han leans in, then catches Kyungsoo's bottom lip between his teeth as he gets up on his knees, teetering forward. For a moment, Kyungsoo's convinced that Lu Han means to leave a mark there the same way that he'd littered scars on people before he left for something better for himself, but soon Lu Han's kissing him. Not a wild clash of tongues, or one of those juvenile kisses where everything is messy, uncoordinated, all teeth and no tongue - Lu Han reaches up to cup Kyungsoo's cheeks with trembling fingers as he eases himself down on Kyungsoo's cock, then gives Kyungsoo's bottom lip a gentle suck. Lu Han licks the cavern of Kyungsoo's mouth, presses staccato kisses on the corners of Kyungsoo's lips. And they're kissing, memorizing each other's mouths like the second they part they know they'll lose their way forever. Lu Han's rocking his hips now, grinding against Kyungsoo in easy jerks, so Kyungsoo meets him halfway. They fall into a familiar enough rhythm - Lu Han slowing down like he needs to feel the burn of Kyungsoo's cock stretching him even more open, like he's shivering in the cold and the only way for him to thaw out is by rolling his hips in tandem with Kyungsoo's own. Kyungsoo snaking one arm around Lu Han's waist then curling his fingers on Lu Han's nape so he can angle Lu Han's head better, for easier access, so he can leave more red marks on Lu Han’s skin. Any minute now, Kyungsoo muses when he feels Lu Han clenching around him yet still bouncing on his lap, when Lu Han buries his face in the crook of Kyungsoo's neck and breathes out little whimpers that prickle Kyungsoo's skin. When Lu Han lets out a strangled cry as Kyungsoo guides his fist up and down Lu Han's length in steady pumps set to the rhythm of Lu Han's heavy breathing. And he can feel himself nearing his climax as well, even more when Lu Han leans back a little to cup his cheeks with his hands again and just looks at him, weary eyes searching for clues before he widens them in a flicker of a surprise.
Kyungsoo comes first, spilling inside Lu Han and crushing their lips together as he rides the last waves of his release. Lu Han isn't far off, though, so Kyungsoo tries to move his hand faster, blurring between the tight press of their bodies and the prickling heat of Lu Han's chest pressed to his own. Soon, Lu Han's coming all over Kyungsoo's loose fist, his abdomen, his chest, some of his release even catching on his own chin, so Kyungsoo pulls away from the kiss for a quick second to lick that off, to taste Lu Han better, before leaning in to chase Lu Han's lips again. If Lu Han ever calls him out on his addiction, on his obsession for warmth and for wet lips and the way Lu Han's slow-forming smile carves a home for itself on his skin, then he can easily shrug it off as the need for air, to breathe. Lu Han stole all the air in his chest when he sucked on Kyungsoo's tongue like a man on a mission to etch his name on Kyungsoo's skin; it's only right for Kyungsoo to demand Lu Han to return what's his, to give it back and maybe toss his heart in, as well.
♡
"Nice car," Kyungsoo mutters later, when Lu Han already has his head rested on Kyungsoo's chest, fingers busy dancing steps on Kyungsoo's skin.
Lu Han looks around them for a quick second and groans when he spots the hint of cum on the backrest of the seats, when he gets a whiff of the scent of sex and Kyungsoo's perfume mixed in the air conditioning. "You're paying for my car wash," he says in retaliation, but he makes no effort to peel himself off of Kyungsoo. Instead, he stays there, tilting his head up, up, up until Kyungsoo's meeting him halfway to link their lips again in a kiss.
♡
("You look good in my clothes," Lu Han comments when he slips out of the hotel's bathroom, only to find Kyungsoo curled up in a bathrobe on his bed. Never mind that Kyungsoo'd promised him a second round, or that Kyungsoo'd promised to tell Lu Han what has been happening in the dorms since his departure - Kyungsoo looks perfect like this, face rid of the thick make up he'd worn earlier and instead painted with the softest, gentlest smile. For a moment, Lu Han considers snapping a picture of this but, instead, he only moves closer, taking careful steps to the bed and settling beside Kyungsoo, promising to himself to stay up for the next few hours or at least until they have to slip back into their separate lives again so he can watch Kyungsoo breathe.)