exo: never the strangers
Never the strangers
- Lay/DO, Kris/Lay. PG-13. 5452 words.
- Reunions are tantamount to relapse. Kyungsoo can't exactly say he's already moved on.
- Written for tyreling for sncj_santa! Originally posted HERE. The title was taken from the very name of the band Never The Strangers. A fanmix for the fic is available HERE. Special thanks goes to sunlit for basically holding my hand through this whole thing and the beta ♥
Kyungsoo looks around him and takes a deep breath. It's been a while since he's last been with this crowd - fifteen years, to be exact, maybe less for those he's been able to work with in college. There's the occasional banter a few feet from him, cackles and laughter here and there, and the best he can offer is a smile, one he's practiced for quite a while already. It might take a while for him to turn on his social switch again; he's been holed in his studio for weeks.
A hand comes to rest on his shoulder and his heartbeat quickens. "Do Kyungsoo?" comes the stranger's voice - it sounds strangely familiar, but then he's in a reunion. Of course the person would sound familiar. "Do Kyungsoo, right?"
He takes a deep breath, swallows the worry in the quirk of his lips, and looks over his shoulder.
And then it hits him like a truck, a wave of nostalgia consuming him, sending shivers down his spine, knocking all the air out of his lungs. He freezes, eyes wide open and lips slightly parted, and he clenches and unclenches his fists in an attempt to properly string words together, to choke up a reply.
"Zhang Yixing," he finally says - more like breathes - and smiles automatically.
The stranger hums and when he smiles, eyes turning into half-moon crescents and dimples becoming more apparent, Kyungsoo gulps hard. "It's... nice to see you again."
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and nods. He summons words upon words so he can properly construct an opening statement, something beyond the usual hi's and hello's because Yixing is no stranger, wills away all the memories coming to him in a rush. He doesn't need the image of Yixing playing the piano alongside him, singing self-composed songs together, burning brightly at the back of his eyelids, doesn't need to feel the ghost of Yixing's soft touch grazing his skin, doesn't need to see Yixing, all bright eyes and dimply smiles, merely inches away.
"It's been a while." Fifteen long years. More than a hundred unread messages in his inbox. Six songs and three unfinished tracks. Six long inches between them.
He nods thoughtfully and looks up. He eases into the smile. "It's nice to see you again, too."
- - - - -
He was a freshman when he first saw Yixing. It was a Thursday, and the music club's first meeting for the academic year had just started. Lu Han, being the club president, welcomed them with a speech too lenghty even Kyungsoo had a hard time grasping the whole point of it, but then he was much too busy trying to craft a nice introduction for himself, one he'd deliver in front of the whole group. He hadn't mastered multi-tasking just yet.
Yixing was two years his senior, and was sitting next to him, eyes glassy, hands propped under his chin. Only when Lu Han walked over to where Yixing was did Kyungsoo discover that Yixing was, in fact, serving as vice-president of the music council and was one of the founders of the organization.
"You're one of them?" Kyungsoo said, voice barely above a whisper, almost breathless. He stared at Yixing with wide eyes; Yixing just smiled in reply.
Yixing winked at him, then followed Lu Han to the platform to give everyone a warm welcome.
Kyungsoo had heard a lot of things about 'the vice-president of the music club' - exceedingly charming, cute, a prolific songwriter, a composer who only sticks to the key of C. A dreamer, a silent killer, academically accomplished. Every girl's dream boy, but unfortunately attached.
"To who," Kyungsoo asked. He leaned closer so Baekhyun wouldn't have to raise his voice.
Baekhyun cocked his head to his right, just mildly so it could almost go unnoticed. "I wouldn't say attached but... everybody in the music club knows they've got a thing going on."
Kyungsoo looked to his right and spotted Yixing trailing a tall man whose hair was an absolute mess. The first two buttons of his polo were undone, and Yixing's fingers were restless, like he was itching to reach up and ease the creases on the cloth or button up his shirt or do other things with his fingers - do things to himself or to that man, Kyungsoo didn't know. Piano fingers, Kyungsoo noted. Yixing had piano fingers and maybe that was what made him such a prolific composer, a valuable asset to the club.
"A thing, huh? Who is he?" Kyungsoo mumbled. Baekhyun caught on, laughing a little. He knew Baekhyun knew what a comment like that meant; they'd been friends since fifth grade, after all.
Kyungsoo didn't believe in love or attraction at first sight, but he believed in sparks and connections, and he knew for a fact he felt one with Yixing back in that meeting, when he asked - in hindsight, he probably sounded stupid - "You're one of them?" It wasn't something special, but it was something, and Kyungsoo wanted to know more about where that was coming from.
"Kris Wu. He grew up in Canada but he's attending uni here in Korea. He was scouted by the alumni of the club for his drumming skills."
"Just that?"
Baekhyun scoffed a little. "He can sing. He's just too shy to do so."
Kyungsoo kept his eyes trained on Yixing and Kris, even as they moved to the far end of the room, as they finally found themselves a seat in the cafeteria, as Kris dumped his and Yixing's bags on an unoccupied chair, as Kris looked around for an audience and very subtly laced his fingers with Yixing's own.
As Yixing smiled and bit his lower lip and looked away, then retracted his hands.
The faintest glimmer of rejection surfaced on Kris' features before he shrugged and wore a smug smile. Maybe Kyungsoo was just imagining things; a 20-20 vision didn't necessarily mean he'd see everything clearly, after all.
"What are planning to do?" Baekhyun asked, and Kyungsoo just shrugged.
"Nothing. I'll just... befriend him."
I won't do anything I know I'll regret.
+
One of the reasons Kyungsoo entered the music club was because of the mentoring sessions with the music council and, occasionally, industry practitioners. There would be vocal training and lessons on playing various musical instruments and mastering music for public consumption, all for the small fee of time and dedication.
"You play the piano just fine, though," Lu Han told him one time, after he played an original composition during one of the piano classes. He had been working on it for quite some time already. "There's definitely skill, and I can see your passion. If there's one thing that's lacking-"
"Confidence," Yixing said from behind Lu Han. He leaned against the piano, a hand idly falling on the keys, fingers drumming on them lightly. "And emotions. It's all technical skill right now. I can't feel anything."
"You're being too hard on the freshman."
Yixing laughed a little. "This is a training session, not snap cups."
Kyungsoo poised his hands on the keys, but Yixing was quicker, fingers already pressing on them lightly. Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder - Yixing had his eyes closed, a small smile on his lips as he nodded, swayed, moved to the beat of the music he was playing, and suddenly Kyungsoo was too self-conscious, too aware of the lack of distance between them, Yixing's chest pressed against his back, hands now moving Kyungsoo's own, until Kyungsoo's hands had finally memorized the notes.
By the time he had finished, his breathing was strained. Everything Yixing had touched burned, and there was something deep inside fighting its way up his throat, slipping past his lips. "Thank you, hyung," was all he managed to say, and Yixing just gave his hair a light pat, offered a soft smile in return.
"Tomorrow?" Yixing asked before leaving the room.
Lu Han had gone off and Kyungsoo had asked if he could stay longer, to which Lu Han graciously agreed. Yixing's body was twisted in such a weird angle that Kyungsoo wondered briefly if Yixing was hurting at all, if the silence was more painful on his hips that his mind. Yixing voice echoed.
"If you're free," Kyungsoo replied.
Yixing nodded. "I'll see you, then."
Yixing went on his way, steps hurried as he tried to catch up to Lu Han. Kyungsoo tapped his fingers lightly on the keys, eyes still trained on Yixing, until Yixing stopped to turn around, until Yixing met him eye-to-eye and smiled. Maybe Kyungsoo pressed too hard on the keys, because now Yixing was giggling and had turned around again, going on his merry way. Kyungsoo kept pressing keys at random in the hope of salvaging the song, and he found himself playing something that sounded strangely familiar - the same song Yixing taught him earlier.
He closed his eyes. Yixing's voice reverberated in his ears, rising above the music.
+
Kyungsoo turned up for practice earlier than the usual. He was planning to run through what Yixing taught him the day before but, when he arrived, Yixing was already there, fingers splayed on the keys, eyes closed, a smile stretched wide on his lips. He was humming, swaying to the beat of the song he was playing, completely consumed in his own music.
Kyungsoo watched from a tiny opening of the door, careful not to snap Yixing out of his trance. It made him ache a little.
Perhaps he'd been unable to contain the wonder slipping from his lips because Yixing opened his eyes and looked in his direction, but kept his hands on the keys. Kyungsoo froze for a while - he hadn't meant to disturb Yixing but training was supposed to have started ten minutes ago, and while he could learn just by watching, learning through experience was far more effective. Learning with Yixing's hands holding his was the best way to learn.
"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo mumbled, almost croaked as he finished. Yixing was staring at him with wide eyes, a peculiar smile on the curve of the lip. "That was beautiful, by the way. Really beautiful."
Yixing motioned for him to enter the room, and he complied.
They didn't talk much. Yixing would show him how to play a particular piece and Kyungsoo would mimic Yixing's movements, and Yixing would hit his hands whenever Kyungsoo hesitated or even so much as showed that he was recalling the way Yixing's hands moved on the keys instead of the music, itself. "Feel it. You have to feel the music," Yixing would always say, and Kyungsoo would close his eyes and play by ear, pressing the keys that, he knew, would deliver the right melody.
"You do better when you close your eyes," Yixing commented after a while, during a five-minute break. Kyungsoo was going through the piece in his mind, imagining himself playing, imagining Yixing's hands guiding him as he moved from one key to the other, and Yixing moved closer, resting a palm flat of his thigh.
Kyungsoo's breath hitched, but he made no sound. "I should... close my eyes," he said. There was a small smile on Yixing's lips, like he was pleased that Kyungsoo had been listening all this time despite being caught in a trance. "So I can play better. Feel the song more."
"Or you can imagine falling in love and losing that person." The smile on Yixing's lips had turned from amused to wistful to empty in the span of seconds. "Experience helps. It always does."
"But I've never-" Kyungsoo's eyes fixed on Yixing's lips, then his right dimple, the tip of his nose, his sharp jawline. "Fallen in love, I mean."
"Not even with music?"
Kyungsoo exhaled loudly. "Ah, music. Yes. Of course."
"Okay, then." Yixing locked his arms behind his back. Kyungsoo could see words upon words scribbed on Yixing's skin, the stretch of his neck, his collarbones. "Back to work."
Yixing rested his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders and pressed close, possibly too close that Kyungsoo could feel Yixing's breath on his skin, sending shivers down his spine. "Close your eyes and think of the thing you love the most. Think of singing and making music and long English classes-"
Kyungsoo opened an eye and risked a glance at Yixing. "No one knows I like English classes-"
"Lu Han knows everything." Yixing laughed a little, then covered Kyungsoo's eyes with a hand, warm and soft. "Close your eyes and just feel it."
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and leaned forward, just a little so he could feel the warmth of Yixing's hand on his skin more, so he could be closer to the piano and closer to the music he wanted to make. "Now, start," was Yixing's go signal. With a firm nod, Kyungsoo poised his hands on the keys, recalled the warm press of Yixing's palm on his skin, and began to play.
+
("So, what's the name of the game?"
Yixing almost jumped at the sound of the voice. He'd been so used to silence that even something as famliar as Lu Han's voice startled him, scrambling the words in his mind completely. "What game?" he asked, and before he could even tell Lu Han to please stay away because I'm composing, Lu Han had already occupied the space beside him.
"Oh, y'know, the let-me-close-your-eyes-with-my-hand-because-that's-the-most-normal-thing-in-the-world game." Lu Han drew knees close to his chest. "Or maybe the it's-not-bad-to-ditch-my-best-friend-for-a-freshman-who-needs-piano-tutoring game?"
Yixing laughed a little. He should have seen this coming.
If there was one word people often used to describe him, it was - not just one word, but two - unnecessarily touchy. Lu Han was worse, being clingy to the point of being a bit creepy and intrusive at times, and Yixing had made it a point to be a bit more calculated with his actions after being called out on them.
"He's just a tutee."
"Just a tutee," Lu Han repeated, a small melody under his breath. "Okay. If you say so."
Yixing shook his head and slapped Lu Han on the arm. "I know so," he said, insisted, and he let his own voice ring in his ears until it was much easier to believe that he was saying the truth.)
+
Kyungsoo moved from practicing his piano-playing to learning how to play the guitar. Yixing was exceptionally generous with help, teaching him the bare essentials, going back to basics and running him through each and every thing there was to know about playing the guitar. Yixing would guide his hands when he made mistakes as he shifted from one chord to another, would hold back his laughter when he'd forgetten to tune the guitar before starting to play. "Basics," Yixing would always remind him, all soft eyes and soft smiles. "You have to remember the basics, always go back to them. Strip your music of theatrics and you'll be left with nothing but the essentials."
Stripping- Kyungsoo gulped, pointedly avoided Yixing's eyes, deliberately averted his gaze from Yixing sucking on his finger or probably biting off a hangnail. Yixing did weird, inappropriate things at inappropriate times, like biting his lower lip and fixing his gaze on Kyungsoo's lips or resting his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles on his collarbones.
"Basics," Kyungsoo repeated. Yixing flinched but let his fingers linger, and Kyungsoo simply held his breath, lips still parted, eyes flitting from Yixing's own to those soft, supple lips, then back up.
Yixing's thumbs caught on the collar of Kyungsoo's shirt before sliding down in front. Kyungsoo was shivering all over, shaking, the last ounce of self-control slipping from his fingertips as Yixing's nails traced a line down his chest. "Basics," Yixing echoed, nodding slowly as the last of his fingers ran down Kyungsoo's torso. "Stripping down... to the bare essentials." Yixing's hands on his skin, Yixing's eyes fixed on his lips, Yixing leaning closer, the sound of Yixing's breathing filling his lungs.
Three knocks on the door and Kyungsoo felt all the air being shoved back in his lungs. Yixing's arms fell to his sides. "Club meeting in ten minutes," Lu Han called out from the door step, and Yixing quickly turned on his heel to exit the room.
Kyungsoo crouched low, placing his hands lightly on the fallen music sheets. Yixing didn't even bother to pick them up.
+
"So you almost kissed."
Kyungsoo stopped midway through opening the pack of brown sugar. The heat coming from the water was prickling his skin, but then everything that Yixing had touched burned, stung. He watched as the paper gave away and the sugar granules fell into the dark liquid, as the sugar dissolved quickly, the reflection of a frowning Baekhyun clear in his coffee.
"If you could kiss someone just by staring at their lips, then yes." He drew the cup close to his lips, then mumbled, "There might have even been some tongue."
Baekhyun scoffed. "Just... be careful. Wear protection or something."
Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun just laughed.
Soon enough, he was learning the violin with Yixing. There were at least five other people with them and the teacher placed them on opposite sides of the room, but during breaks Yixing would walk over to where he was and tuck his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder. And then there would be a familiar silence while Yixing laced their fingers behind Kyungsoo's back.
(And occasionally, if everyone was too caught up with their phones, Yixing would snake his arms around Kyungsoo's waist and Kyungsoo would just stand still. And maybe lean back a little and smile. And Yixing would lean closer so they'd be cheek to cheek and then the teacher would ring the bell and they'd both pull away, spines erect, eyes focused elsewhere, fingers lingering for a bit of contact before they go back to their places, walking in opposite directions.)
Then Kris would be at the doorstep of the room, bag slung over his shoulder, and Yixing would be quick on his feet as he made his way out of the room. And Kyungsoo would just be watching, wondering what the low and steady humming or the light laughter or Yixing singing songs to him in Mandarin in his ear meant, if anything at all.
(Yixing pulled his knees close to his chest. He'd called Lu Han earlier, telling him to please come to the music room, but it had been at least twenty minutes since the call and Lu Han still wasn't there. He could still feel the sting of Kyungsoo's fingers laced with his, the contact, the lingering touch, the pounding feeling in his chest as he distanced himself from Kyungsoo when, for the nth time that week, they found themselves pressed against each other, eyes fixed on nothing but each other's lips.
"It doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean anything. Can't mean anything until he actually says it does," he told himself again and again, like a mantra or a prayer, like a kid telling his mother, mom, make it stop, make the pain go away.
Please.)
+
Back to basics meant back to playing the piano, which meant Kyungsoo was on his own now. No more cold hands to guide him through a piece. No more racing hearbeats to match the music to (and finally not stray from the piece he's supposed to be playing). No more extra training sessions or prolonged periods of silence, no matter how comfortable.
"You miss him," Baekhyun dropped over lunch. Kyungsoo choked halfway through sipping from the juice carton and looked up at Baekhyun. "You miss him and you look so fucking miserable trying to deny it."
"We're talking about sleep, right?" Kyungsoo replied when he'd finally cleared his throat. "I always thought sleep was a girl-"
Baekhyun shoved a piece of kimbap between Kyungsoo's lips and raised an eyebrow at him. "Shut up. Stop trying to control your feelings; it's driving me crazy. You're human. It's okay to feel things. It's okay to get hurt."
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and looked up, meeting Baekhyun's gaze. His eyes were sharp, like they could cut through Kyungsoo and cut him wide open, expose him to Yixing even more than he already was. His lips were pursed and Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun was struggling to keep himself in check, like he might have crossed a line by telling Kyungsoo to shut up, indirectly telling Kyungsoo to get your act together.
"And I know you are. You just don't want to show it. You don't like burdening others with your own troubles so you just keep to yourself all the fucking time."
Kyungsoo hung his head low, carefully avoiding Baekhyun's eyes. They had been in this situation before - three years or so, give or take, when Kyungsoo was trying to subtly woo the student council president - and Baekhyun knew Kyungsoo was a hopeless case even before Kyungsoo realized it. "Saw it coming from a mile away," Baekhyun said that time as they both watched Joonmyun approach Sunyoung, an invitation to go to the prom with him in one hand and a bouquet of roses in the other. "I keep telling you to be careful, but you never listen."
"So I'm telling you now - make a decision. If you're going to pursue him, go all out and stop it with the subtle flirting, because unless he comes around and realizes that Kris is a horrible choice for a partner, you won't stand a chance." Kyungsoo winced a little, and Baekhyun took a deep breath and rushed, "Maybe."
"Should I kiss him?"
Baekhyun laughed a little. "Only if you're sure you won't regret anything."
Kyungsoo reached over to snatch some kimchi off of Baekhyun's plate. He could recognize the shape of Yixing's body from far away, over Baekhyun's shoulder. There was a taller man with him, also familiar. Kyungsoo shook his head.
"Well then, there's the answer."
+
Exam season couldn't have come at a better time, Kyungsoo thought as he shuffled inside the club room and approached Lu Han. There were requirements to be turned in for all of his subjects, and balancing his academics and extra-curricular activities, while possible, was probably going to take its toll on his sanity. "So I... probably won't be able to serve my residency in the club room," he said all in one breath, smiling at the end of his statement when Lu Han leaned closer. The blank look on Lu Han's features did very little to calm his nerves.
"Ah, the perils of a freshman." Lu Han let out a dissatisfied exhale and offered Kyungsoo a small smile - it was a weird source of comfort at a time like this. "Oh well. Academics before extra-curriculars - that's always been the rule."
"Thanks," Kyungsoo muttered, then bowed before turning on his heel to leave.
He spent the next few days drumming his fingers on the table instead of on piano keys, running through lines upon lines of text instead of notes. Baekhyun was helpful and handy, constantly humming beside him as they went through notes on their lectures, and sometimes Baekhyun would blast music in his dorm and they'd sing together until their throats hurt and the only logical thing to do was to sleep, exams be damned.
Kyungsoo bit the inside of his cheek. The music he and Yixing made was different. They'd play the piano side by side, sing freeverse, and end up chuckling softly after but scrambling for a pen and paper so they could write their music down. He hadn't written a song in a while, not since he stopped attending club meetings altogether.
It was a Tuesday when Kris approached him in the library. Baekhyun had just excused himself for a walk, saying Marketing really wasn't his thing and why am I studying this again? Kris didn't take a seat until Kyungsoo motioned for him to come closer. He wanted to wipe off that polite smile off of Kris' lips or untangle his clasped hands or make a mess out of Kris' already laughable hairstyle.
"Yes?" he said, instead, offering a small smile. He wanted to ruin Kris, break him into pieces, tear him apart. "Do you need anything?"
"It's... Yixing's birthday on Friday." The smile on Kris' lips grew wider, the crinkle in the corners of his eyes more visible. "And he always talks about you and your music and I was wondering if-"
Kyungsoo leaned closer. "If?"
Kris furrowed his eyebrows for a while, the laughed lightly. "Nah, never mind. It's a weird request."
Kyungsoo's mind went back to he always talks about you; he's not sure if he digested the rest of Kris' sentence properly. Yixing talks, but doesn't talk a lot, always very choiceful with the things he'll be saying, always extra careful. What does he say about me? he wanted to ask, but Kris' hands were shaking and Kris looked so small right now, and really, wouldn't it be nice to kick Kris around like a helpless puppy? Now would be the perfect time to do so - the library was quiet, almost void of people, the perfect place for emotional murder.
Except Kyungsoo could see the faintest image of Yixing placing a hand on Kris' shoulder, rubbing circles on the cloth of his coat.
"Come on, say it," Kyungsoo replied. "I won't laugh at you."
Kris took a deep breath and parted his lips to speak.
+
"A song. A song specially written for Yixing." Kris worried his lower lip. "I... was wondering if you could make one for him. He has high regard for your music, after all."
Kyungsoo drummed his fingers softly on the keys. It's been a while since he last played something, moreso one of his own compositions. 'All alone', he'd add if another qualifier was needed, but Kris' footsteps were growing louder, echoing through the halls.
He looked around him - fancy, elaborate decor, a cake at the center of the room, a tiny, wrapped box on the empty space just beside the cake. It looked as if Kris was going to propose, like he wanted to spend his life with Yixing. Maybe he did. Who wouldn't?
Another pair of hurried footsteps. Kris was no longer alone. Kyungsoo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He traced the keys with his fingers and hummed the song under his breath - it wasn't new, but it would probably be fit for the occasion.
Yixing would love it.
"What are you-"
Kyungsoo pressed on the first key, then the second, then the third, eyes still closed as
his fingers skated from one key to the next. He was playing from memory, simply by recalling the look on Yixing's face whenever he was consumed by his own music, or the way the dimples in Yixing's cheeks surfaced as Yixing grinned, all the laughter he'd been bottling up minutes before finally slipping from his lips. Slowly, the words came to Kyungsoo like the beads of sweat that cascaded down the length of Yixing's neck after the gruelling hours of playing various instruments - the violin, the guitar, the piano, Kyungsoo's heart.
"This... is for me?"
Kyungsoo kept his eyes shut, kept singing, even as he felt Yixing approaching. There was a screech of shoes against the floor - Kris probably rushed to Yixing's side and grabbed him by the wrist and their faces were probably too close now, and they were probably merely inches away from the piano, away from Kyungsoo, and maybe it wasn't the best time to open his eyes, but-
"All of this is for you."
The sound of Yixing's amused laughter filled the room and Kyungsoo, very slowly, opened his eyes-
- Just in time to see Yixing looking up at Kris, all the wonder in his eyes welling up in the corners, slowly trickling down his cheeks, just in time to see Yixing tiptoe and press a light kiss on Kris' nose, just in time to see Kris snake his arms around Yixing's waist to pull him close and press their lips together. I did that, Kyungsoo wanted to say, wanted to point an accusing finger at Yixing and his smile and the tears staining his cheeks. I put that smile on his face. I made those tears fall from his eyes. I did all these things to him.
Kyungsoo kept playing. He could feel his throat burn. I did this for him.
Kyungsoo closed his eyes again, playing the rest of the song - his song for Yixing - and kept his fingers on the keys to hold out the last note in the hope of drowning out the voice at the back of his head. But it was much too loud.
What Kyungsoo didn't see when he turned on his heel to leave was this - Yixing looking over Kris' shoulder, watching Kyungsoo's steps carefully, Yixing counting to ten until Kyungsoo disappeared into a corner, Yixing clenching and unclenching his fists as Kris pulled him closer.
Yixing humming the song that same night, the memory of Kyungsoo's voice humming him to sleep.
- - - - -
"Kyungsoo?"
Kyungsoo blinks one, twice, thrice, and looks around him. There's Minseok and Lu Han in the distance, a few meters away, lining up for food. Baekhyun hasn't seen him yet, probably busy looking for familiar faces and hiding in a corner until he can put a name to each face he sees. And Yixing's looking at him, staring, signature smile on his lips.
I did that, it rings in Kyungsoo's ears. "Kris," Kyungsoo says automatically, then rushes, "Where's Kris? I... thought you'd be with him-"
"Busy," Yixing interrupts. "Busy with work. He's the marketing head of some company and he does all these boring things. Joonmyun and I tried getting him out of his office, actually." Yixing laughs a little before continuing, "But you know him. When he has his mind set on something, he'll take no distractions."
"Like you." Kyungsoo chuckles. His eyes are drawn to Yixing's fingers, how he drums them on Kyungsoo's shoulders. Yixing notices, so he stops and retracts his hand, but Kyungsoo lays his palm flat on the back of Yixing's hand. "He had his mind set on winning you back in college. He was really determined."
He can feel Yixing's fingers getting cold. Yixing always responds with his body faster than he can find the eloquence to translate his thoughts into words. It offers a strange sort of relief. Yixing remembers. Yixing's body remembers. And strangely enough, so does his own.
"It was, well, fun while it lasted." Yixing frees his hand from Kyungsoo's hold and runs it down Kyungsoo's arm, slow, almost excruciatingly so. "And it didn't last long."
"Really?" Yixing's hand settles on Kyungsoo's own, and Kyungsoo laces their fingers together on instinct. "Was there a third party?"
"Kris was the third party." Yixing takes a step forward. "Even if came first, he's always been the third party."
Kyungsoo parts his lips to speak, but only a soft oh comes out.
He waits - waits for the seconds to pass, for Yixing to pull away like he does after the short breaks during violin classes, for Yixing to burst into laughter and say that it's just a joke and you're gullible, so damn gullible, Do Kyungsoo, but Yixing stays still, like he's waiting for something as well. "Did you come with a friend," Kyungsoo tries, and Yixing just shakes his head. He tries again. "Did you come with Lu Han?"
Yixing laughs a little. "You're asking the wrong question."
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "Will you come to the reunion with me, even if we're already here?"
Yixing slaps him on the arm and lets his hand fall to his side. "Good enough."
Yixing's about to turn around when Kyungsoo grabs him by the wrist. It's dark in this part of the venue and it's safe here and they're too old to be playing games, so Kyungsoo pulls Yixing close until their noses touch. "Will you come to the reunion with me and stay with me the whole night and come home with me and stay until the morning?" he says all in one breath, and shakes, shivers when Yixing leans in, offering answers in the warm press of his mouth, Yixing's fingers slowly curling at the back of his neck.
He takes a deep breath but Yixing takes it back, takes all of him. He licks the back of Yixing's teeth. Yixing giggles.
He's never been more sure of anything in his life.
- Lay/DO, Kris/Lay. PG-13. 5452 words.
- Reunions are tantamount to relapse. Kyungsoo can't exactly say he's already moved on.
- Written for tyreling for sncj_santa! Originally posted HERE. The title was taken from the very name of the band Never The Strangers. A fanmix for the fic is available HERE. Special thanks goes to sunlit for basically holding my hand through this whole thing and the beta ♥
Kyungsoo looks around him and takes a deep breath. It's been a while since he's last been with this crowd - fifteen years, to be exact, maybe less for those he's been able to work with in college. There's the occasional banter a few feet from him, cackles and laughter here and there, and the best he can offer is a smile, one he's practiced for quite a while already. It might take a while for him to turn on his social switch again; he's been holed in his studio for weeks.
A hand comes to rest on his shoulder and his heartbeat quickens. "Do Kyungsoo?" comes the stranger's voice - it sounds strangely familiar, but then he's in a reunion. Of course the person would sound familiar. "Do Kyungsoo, right?"
He takes a deep breath, swallows the worry in the quirk of his lips, and looks over his shoulder.
And then it hits him like a truck, a wave of nostalgia consuming him, sending shivers down his spine, knocking all the air out of his lungs. He freezes, eyes wide open and lips slightly parted, and he clenches and unclenches his fists in an attempt to properly string words together, to choke up a reply.
"Zhang Yixing," he finally says - more like breathes - and smiles automatically.
The stranger hums and when he smiles, eyes turning into half-moon crescents and dimples becoming more apparent, Kyungsoo gulps hard. "It's... nice to see you again."
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and nods. He summons words upon words so he can properly construct an opening statement, something beyond the usual hi's and hello's because Yixing is no stranger, wills away all the memories coming to him in a rush. He doesn't need the image of Yixing playing the piano alongside him, singing self-composed songs together, burning brightly at the back of his eyelids, doesn't need to feel the ghost of Yixing's soft touch grazing his skin, doesn't need to see Yixing, all bright eyes and dimply smiles, merely inches away.
"It's been a while." Fifteen long years. More than a hundred unread messages in his inbox. Six songs and three unfinished tracks. Six long inches between them.
He nods thoughtfully and looks up. He eases into the smile. "It's nice to see you again, too."
- - - - -
He was a freshman when he first saw Yixing. It was a Thursday, and the music club's first meeting for the academic year had just started. Lu Han, being the club president, welcomed them with a speech too lenghty even Kyungsoo had a hard time grasping the whole point of it, but then he was much too busy trying to craft a nice introduction for himself, one he'd deliver in front of the whole group. He hadn't mastered multi-tasking just yet.
Yixing was two years his senior, and was sitting next to him, eyes glassy, hands propped under his chin. Only when Lu Han walked over to where Yixing was did Kyungsoo discover that Yixing was, in fact, serving as vice-president of the music council and was one of the founders of the organization.
"You're one of them?" Kyungsoo said, voice barely above a whisper, almost breathless. He stared at Yixing with wide eyes; Yixing just smiled in reply.
Yixing winked at him, then followed Lu Han to the platform to give everyone a warm welcome.
Kyungsoo had heard a lot of things about 'the vice-president of the music club' - exceedingly charming, cute, a prolific songwriter, a composer who only sticks to the key of C. A dreamer, a silent killer, academically accomplished. Every girl's dream boy, but unfortunately attached.
"To who," Kyungsoo asked. He leaned closer so Baekhyun wouldn't have to raise his voice.
Baekhyun cocked his head to his right, just mildly so it could almost go unnoticed. "I wouldn't say attached but... everybody in the music club knows they've got a thing going on."
Kyungsoo looked to his right and spotted Yixing trailing a tall man whose hair was an absolute mess. The first two buttons of his polo were undone, and Yixing's fingers were restless, like he was itching to reach up and ease the creases on the cloth or button up his shirt or do other things with his fingers - do things to himself or to that man, Kyungsoo didn't know. Piano fingers, Kyungsoo noted. Yixing had piano fingers and maybe that was what made him such a prolific composer, a valuable asset to the club.
"A thing, huh? Who is he?" Kyungsoo mumbled. Baekhyun caught on, laughing a little. He knew Baekhyun knew what a comment like that meant; they'd been friends since fifth grade, after all.
Kyungsoo didn't believe in love or attraction at first sight, but he believed in sparks and connections, and he knew for a fact he felt one with Yixing back in that meeting, when he asked - in hindsight, he probably sounded stupid - "You're one of them?" It wasn't something special, but it was something, and Kyungsoo wanted to know more about where that was coming from.
"Kris Wu. He grew up in Canada but he's attending uni here in Korea. He was scouted by the alumni of the club for his drumming skills."
"Just that?"
Baekhyun scoffed a little. "He can sing. He's just too shy to do so."
Kyungsoo kept his eyes trained on Yixing and Kris, even as they moved to the far end of the room, as they finally found themselves a seat in the cafeteria, as Kris dumped his and Yixing's bags on an unoccupied chair, as Kris looked around for an audience and very subtly laced his fingers with Yixing's own.
As Yixing smiled and bit his lower lip and looked away, then retracted his hands.
The faintest glimmer of rejection surfaced on Kris' features before he shrugged and wore a smug smile. Maybe Kyungsoo was just imagining things; a 20-20 vision didn't necessarily mean he'd see everything clearly, after all.
"What are planning to do?" Baekhyun asked, and Kyungsoo just shrugged.
"Nothing. I'll just... befriend him."
I won't do anything I know I'll regret.
+
One of the reasons Kyungsoo entered the music club was because of the mentoring sessions with the music council and, occasionally, industry practitioners. There would be vocal training and lessons on playing various musical instruments and mastering music for public consumption, all for the small fee of time and dedication.
"You play the piano just fine, though," Lu Han told him one time, after he played an original composition during one of the piano classes. He had been working on it for quite some time already. "There's definitely skill, and I can see your passion. If there's one thing that's lacking-"
"Confidence," Yixing said from behind Lu Han. He leaned against the piano, a hand idly falling on the keys, fingers drumming on them lightly. "And emotions. It's all technical skill right now. I can't feel anything."
"You're being too hard on the freshman."
Yixing laughed a little. "This is a training session, not snap cups."
Kyungsoo poised his hands on the keys, but Yixing was quicker, fingers already pressing on them lightly. Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder - Yixing had his eyes closed, a small smile on his lips as he nodded, swayed, moved to the beat of the music he was playing, and suddenly Kyungsoo was too self-conscious, too aware of the lack of distance between them, Yixing's chest pressed against his back, hands now moving Kyungsoo's own, until Kyungsoo's hands had finally memorized the notes.
By the time he had finished, his breathing was strained. Everything Yixing had touched burned, and there was something deep inside fighting its way up his throat, slipping past his lips. "Thank you, hyung," was all he managed to say, and Yixing just gave his hair a light pat, offered a soft smile in return.
"Tomorrow?" Yixing asked before leaving the room.
Lu Han had gone off and Kyungsoo had asked if he could stay longer, to which Lu Han graciously agreed. Yixing's body was twisted in such a weird angle that Kyungsoo wondered briefly if Yixing was hurting at all, if the silence was more painful on his hips that his mind. Yixing voice echoed.
"If you're free," Kyungsoo replied.
Yixing nodded. "I'll see you, then."
Yixing went on his way, steps hurried as he tried to catch up to Lu Han. Kyungsoo tapped his fingers lightly on the keys, eyes still trained on Yixing, until Yixing stopped to turn around, until Yixing met him eye-to-eye and smiled. Maybe Kyungsoo pressed too hard on the keys, because now Yixing was giggling and had turned around again, going on his merry way. Kyungsoo kept pressing keys at random in the hope of salvaging the song, and he found himself playing something that sounded strangely familiar - the same song Yixing taught him earlier.
He closed his eyes. Yixing's voice reverberated in his ears, rising above the music.
+
Kyungsoo turned up for practice earlier than the usual. He was planning to run through what Yixing taught him the day before but, when he arrived, Yixing was already there, fingers splayed on the keys, eyes closed, a smile stretched wide on his lips. He was humming, swaying to the beat of the song he was playing, completely consumed in his own music.
Kyungsoo watched from a tiny opening of the door, careful not to snap Yixing out of his trance. It made him ache a little.
Perhaps he'd been unable to contain the wonder slipping from his lips because Yixing opened his eyes and looked in his direction, but kept his hands on the keys. Kyungsoo froze for a while - he hadn't meant to disturb Yixing but training was supposed to have started ten minutes ago, and while he could learn just by watching, learning through experience was far more effective. Learning with Yixing's hands holding his was the best way to learn.
"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo mumbled, almost croaked as he finished. Yixing was staring at him with wide eyes, a peculiar smile on the curve of the lip. "That was beautiful, by the way. Really beautiful."
Yixing motioned for him to enter the room, and he complied.
They didn't talk much. Yixing would show him how to play a particular piece and Kyungsoo would mimic Yixing's movements, and Yixing would hit his hands whenever Kyungsoo hesitated or even so much as showed that he was recalling the way Yixing's hands moved on the keys instead of the music, itself. "Feel it. You have to feel the music," Yixing would always say, and Kyungsoo would close his eyes and play by ear, pressing the keys that, he knew, would deliver the right melody.
"You do better when you close your eyes," Yixing commented after a while, during a five-minute break. Kyungsoo was going through the piece in his mind, imagining himself playing, imagining Yixing's hands guiding him as he moved from one key to the other, and Yixing moved closer, resting a palm flat of his thigh.
Kyungsoo's breath hitched, but he made no sound. "I should... close my eyes," he said. There was a small smile on Yixing's lips, like he was pleased that Kyungsoo had been listening all this time despite being caught in a trance. "So I can play better. Feel the song more."
"Or you can imagine falling in love and losing that person." The smile on Yixing's lips had turned from amused to wistful to empty in the span of seconds. "Experience helps. It always does."
"But I've never-" Kyungsoo's eyes fixed on Yixing's lips, then his right dimple, the tip of his nose, his sharp jawline. "Fallen in love, I mean."
"Not even with music?"
Kyungsoo exhaled loudly. "Ah, music. Yes. Of course."
"Okay, then." Yixing locked his arms behind his back. Kyungsoo could see words upon words scribbed on Yixing's skin, the stretch of his neck, his collarbones. "Back to work."
Yixing rested his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders and pressed close, possibly too close that Kyungsoo could feel Yixing's breath on his skin, sending shivers down his spine. "Close your eyes and think of the thing you love the most. Think of singing and making music and long English classes-"
Kyungsoo opened an eye and risked a glance at Yixing. "No one knows I like English classes-"
"Lu Han knows everything." Yixing laughed a little, then covered Kyungsoo's eyes with a hand, warm and soft. "Close your eyes and just feel it."
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and leaned forward, just a little so he could feel the warmth of Yixing's hand on his skin more, so he could be closer to the piano and closer to the music he wanted to make. "Now, start," was Yixing's go signal. With a firm nod, Kyungsoo poised his hands on the keys, recalled the warm press of Yixing's palm on his skin, and began to play.
+
("So, what's the name of the game?"
Yixing almost jumped at the sound of the voice. He'd been so used to silence that even something as famliar as Lu Han's voice startled him, scrambling the words in his mind completely. "What game?" he asked, and before he could even tell Lu Han to please stay away because I'm composing, Lu Han had already occupied the space beside him.
"Oh, y'know, the let-me-close-your-eyes-with-my-hand-because-that's-the-most-normal-thing-in-the-world game." Lu Han drew knees close to his chest. "Or maybe the it's-not-bad-to-ditch-my-best-friend-for-a-freshman-who-needs-piano-tutoring game?"
Yixing laughed a little. He should have seen this coming.
If there was one word people often used to describe him, it was - not just one word, but two - unnecessarily touchy. Lu Han was worse, being clingy to the point of being a bit creepy and intrusive at times, and Yixing had made it a point to be a bit more calculated with his actions after being called out on them.
"He's just a tutee."
"Just a tutee," Lu Han repeated, a small melody under his breath. "Okay. If you say so."
Yixing shook his head and slapped Lu Han on the arm. "I know so," he said, insisted, and he let his own voice ring in his ears until it was much easier to believe that he was saying the truth.)
+
Kyungsoo moved from practicing his piano-playing to learning how to play the guitar. Yixing was exceptionally generous with help, teaching him the bare essentials, going back to basics and running him through each and every thing there was to know about playing the guitar. Yixing would guide his hands when he made mistakes as he shifted from one chord to another, would hold back his laughter when he'd forgetten to tune the guitar before starting to play. "Basics," Yixing would always remind him, all soft eyes and soft smiles. "You have to remember the basics, always go back to them. Strip your music of theatrics and you'll be left with nothing but the essentials."
Stripping- Kyungsoo gulped, pointedly avoided Yixing's eyes, deliberately averted his gaze from Yixing sucking on his finger or probably biting off a hangnail. Yixing did weird, inappropriate things at inappropriate times, like biting his lower lip and fixing his gaze on Kyungsoo's lips or resting his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles on his collarbones.
"Basics," Kyungsoo repeated. Yixing flinched but let his fingers linger, and Kyungsoo simply held his breath, lips still parted, eyes flitting from Yixing's own to those soft, supple lips, then back up.
Yixing's thumbs caught on the collar of Kyungsoo's shirt before sliding down in front. Kyungsoo was shivering all over, shaking, the last ounce of self-control slipping from his fingertips as Yixing's nails traced a line down his chest. "Basics," Yixing echoed, nodding slowly as the last of his fingers ran down Kyungsoo's torso. "Stripping down... to the bare essentials." Yixing's hands on his skin, Yixing's eyes fixed on his lips, Yixing leaning closer, the sound of Yixing's breathing filling his lungs.
Three knocks on the door and Kyungsoo felt all the air being shoved back in his lungs. Yixing's arms fell to his sides. "Club meeting in ten minutes," Lu Han called out from the door step, and Yixing quickly turned on his heel to exit the room.
Kyungsoo crouched low, placing his hands lightly on the fallen music sheets. Yixing didn't even bother to pick them up.
+
"So you almost kissed."
Kyungsoo stopped midway through opening the pack of brown sugar. The heat coming from the water was prickling his skin, but then everything that Yixing had touched burned, stung. He watched as the paper gave away and the sugar granules fell into the dark liquid, as the sugar dissolved quickly, the reflection of a frowning Baekhyun clear in his coffee.
"If you could kiss someone just by staring at their lips, then yes." He drew the cup close to his lips, then mumbled, "There might have even been some tongue."
Baekhyun scoffed. "Just... be careful. Wear protection or something."
Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun just laughed.
Soon enough, he was learning the violin with Yixing. There were at least five other people with them and the teacher placed them on opposite sides of the room, but during breaks Yixing would walk over to where he was and tuck his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder. And then there would be a familiar silence while Yixing laced their fingers behind Kyungsoo's back.
(And occasionally, if everyone was too caught up with their phones, Yixing would snake his arms around Kyungsoo's waist and Kyungsoo would just stand still. And maybe lean back a little and smile. And Yixing would lean closer so they'd be cheek to cheek and then the teacher would ring the bell and they'd both pull away, spines erect, eyes focused elsewhere, fingers lingering for a bit of contact before they go back to their places, walking in opposite directions.)
Then Kris would be at the doorstep of the room, bag slung over his shoulder, and Yixing would be quick on his feet as he made his way out of the room. And Kyungsoo would just be watching, wondering what the low and steady humming or the light laughter or Yixing singing songs to him in Mandarin in his ear meant, if anything at all.
(Yixing pulled his knees close to his chest. He'd called Lu Han earlier, telling him to please come to the music room, but it had been at least twenty minutes since the call and Lu Han still wasn't there. He could still feel the sting of Kyungsoo's fingers laced with his, the contact, the lingering touch, the pounding feeling in his chest as he distanced himself from Kyungsoo when, for the nth time that week, they found themselves pressed against each other, eyes fixed on nothing but each other's lips.
"It doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean anything. Can't mean anything until he actually says it does," he told himself again and again, like a mantra or a prayer, like a kid telling his mother, mom, make it stop, make the pain go away.
Please.)
+
Back to basics meant back to playing the piano, which meant Kyungsoo was on his own now. No more cold hands to guide him through a piece. No more racing hearbeats to match the music to (and finally not stray from the piece he's supposed to be playing). No more extra training sessions or prolonged periods of silence, no matter how comfortable.
"You miss him," Baekhyun dropped over lunch. Kyungsoo choked halfway through sipping from the juice carton and looked up at Baekhyun. "You miss him and you look so fucking miserable trying to deny it."
"We're talking about sleep, right?" Kyungsoo replied when he'd finally cleared his throat. "I always thought sleep was a girl-"
Baekhyun shoved a piece of kimbap between Kyungsoo's lips and raised an eyebrow at him. "Shut up. Stop trying to control your feelings; it's driving me crazy. You're human. It's okay to feel things. It's okay to get hurt."
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and looked up, meeting Baekhyun's gaze. His eyes were sharp, like they could cut through Kyungsoo and cut him wide open, expose him to Yixing even more than he already was. His lips were pursed and Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun was struggling to keep himself in check, like he might have crossed a line by telling Kyungsoo to shut up, indirectly telling Kyungsoo to get your act together.
"And I know you are. You just don't want to show it. You don't like burdening others with your own troubles so you just keep to yourself all the fucking time."
Kyungsoo hung his head low, carefully avoiding Baekhyun's eyes. They had been in this situation before - three years or so, give or take, when Kyungsoo was trying to subtly woo the student council president - and Baekhyun knew Kyungsoo was a hopeless case even before Kyungsoo realized it. "Saw it coming from a mile away," Baekhyun said that time as they both watched Joonmyun approach Sunyoung, an invitation to go to the prom with him in one hand and a bouquet of roses in the other. "I keep telling you to be careful, but you never listen."
"So I'm telling you now - make a decision. If you're going to pursue him, go all out and stop it with the subtle flirting, because unless he comes around and realizes that Kris is a horrible choice for a partner, you won't stand a chance." Kyungsoo winced a little, and Baekhyun took a deep breath and rushed, "Maybe."
"Should I kiss him?"
Baekhyun laughed a little. "Only if you're sure you won't regret anything."
Kyungsoo reached over to snatch some kimchi off of Baekhyun's plate. He could recognize the shape of Yixing's body from far away, over Baekhyun's shoulder. There was a taller man with him, also familiar. Kyungsoo shook his head.
"Well then, there's the answer."
+
Exam season couldn't have come at a better time, Kyungsoo thought as he shuffled inside the club room and approached Lu Han. There were requirements to be turned in for all of his subjects, and balancing his academics and extra-curricular activities, while possible, was probably going to take its toll on his sanity. "So I... probably won't be able to serve my residency in the club room," he said all in one breath, smiling at the end of his statement when Lu Han leaned closer. The blank look on Lu Han's features did very little to calm his nerves.
"Ah, the perils of a freshman." Lu Han let out a dissatisfied exhale and offered Kyungsoo a small smile - it was a weird source of comfort at a time like this. "Oh well. Academics before extra-curriculars - that's always been the rule."
"Thanks," Kyungsoo muttered, then bowed before turning on his heel to leave.
He spent the next few days drumming his fingers on the table instead of on piano keys, running through lines upon lines of text instead of notes. Baekhyun was helpful and handy, constantly humming beside him as they went through notes on their lectures, and sometimes Baekhyun would blast music in his dorm and they'd sing together until their throats hurt and the only logical thing to do was to sleep, exams be damned.
Kyungsoo bit the inside of his cheek. The music he and Yixing made was different. They'd play the piano side by side, sing freeverse, and end up chuckling softly after but scrambling for a pen and paper so they could write their music down. He hadn't written a song in a while, not since he stopped attending club meetings altogether.
It was a Tuesday when Kris approached him in the library. Baekhyun had just excused himself for a walk, saying Marketing really wasn't his thing and why am I studying this again? Kris didn't take a seat until Kyungsoo motioned for him to come closer. He wanted to wipe off that polite smile off of Kris' lips or untangle his clasped hands or make a mess out of Kris' already laughable hairstyle.
"Yes?" he said, instead, offering a small smile. He wanted to ruin Kris, break him into pieces, tear him apart. "Do you need anything?"
"It's... Yixing's birthday on Friday." The smile on Kris' lips grew wider, the crinkle in the corners of his eyes more visible. "And he always talks about you and your music and I was wondering if-"
Kyungsoo leaned closer. "If?"
Kris furrowed his eyebrows for a while, the laughed lightly. "Nah, never mind. It's a weird request."
Kyungsoo's mind went back to he always talks about you; he's not sure if he digested the rest of Kris' sentence properly. Yixing talks, but doesn't talk a lot, always very choiceful with the things he'll be saying, always extra careful. What does he say about me? he wanted to ask, but Kris' hands were shaking and Kris looked so small right now, and really, wouldn't it be nice to kick Kris around like a helpless puppy? Now would be the perfect time to do so - the library was quiet, almost void of people, the perfect place for emotional murder.
Except Kyungsoo could see the faintest image of Yixing placing a hand on Kris' shoulder, rubbing circles on the cloth of his coat.
"Come on, say it," Kyungsoo replied. "I won't laugh at you."
Kris took a deep breath and parted his lips to speak.
+
"A song. A song specially written for Yixing." Kris worried his lower lip. "I... was wondering if you could make one for him. He has high regard for your music, after all."
Kyungsoo drummed his fingers softly on the keys. It's been a while since he last played something, moreso one of his own compositions. 'All alone', he'd add if another qualifier was needed, but Kris' footsteps were growing louder, echoing through the halls.
He looked around him - fancy, elaborate decor, a cake at the center of the room, a tiny, wrapped box on the empty space just beside the cake. It looked as if Kris was going to propose, like he wanted to spend his life with Yixing. Maybe he did. Who wouldn't?
Another pair of hurried footsteps. Kris was no longer alone. Kyungsoo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He traced the keys with his fingers and hummed the song under his breath - it wasn't new, but it would probably be fit for the occasion.
Yixing would love it.
"What are you-"
Kyungsoo pressed on the first key, then the second, then the third, eyes still closed as
his fingers skated from one key to the next. He was playing from memory, simply by recalling the look on Yixing's face whenever he was consumed by his own music, or the way the dimples in Yixing's cheeks surfaced as Yixing grinned, all the laughter he'd been bottling up minutes before finally slipping from his lips. Slowly, the words came to Kyungsoo like the beads of sweat that cascaded down the length of Yixing's neck after the gruelling hours of playing various instruments - the violin, the guitar, the piano, Kyungsoo's heart.
"This... is for me?"
Kyungsoo kept his eyes shut, kept singing, even as he felt Yixing approaching. There was a screech of shoes against the floor - Kris probably rushed to Yixing's side and grabbed him by the wrist and their faces were probably too close now, and they were probably merely inches away from the piano, away from Kyungsoo, and maybe it wasn't the best time to open his eyes, but-
"All of this is for you."
The sound of Yixing's amused laughter filled the room and Kyungsoo, very slowly, opened his eyes-
- Just in time to see Yixing looking up at Kris, all the wonder in his eyes welling up in the corners, slowly trickling down his cheeks, just in time to see Yixing tiptoe and press a light kiss on Kris' nose, just in time to see Kris snake his arms around Yixing's waist to pull him close and press their lips together. I did that, Kyungsoo wanted to say, wanted to point an accusing finger at Yixing and his smile and the tears staining his cheeks. I put that smile on his face. I made those tears fall from his eyes. I did all these things to him.
Kyungsoo kept playing. He could feel his throat burn. I did this for him.
Kyungsoo closed his eyes again, playing the rest of the song - his song for Yixing - and kept his fingers on the keys to hold out the last note in the hope of drowning out the voice at the back of his head. But it was much too loud.
What Kyungsoo didn't see when he turned on his heel to leave was this - Yixing looking over Kris' shoulder, watching Kyungsoo's steps carefully, Yixing counting to ten until Kyungsoo disappeared into a corner, Yixing clenching and unclenching his fists as Kris pulled him closer.
Yixing humming the song that same night, the memory of Kyungsoo's voice humming him to sleep.
- - - - -
"Kyungsoo?"
Kyungsoo blinks one, twice, thrice, and looks around him. There's Minseok and Lu Han in the distance, a few meters away, lining up for food. Baekhyun hasn't seen him yet, probably busy looking for familiar faces and hiding in a corner until he can put a name to each face he sees. And Yixing's looking at him, staring, signature smile on his lips.
I did that, it rings in Kyungsoo's ears. "Kris," Kyungsoo says automatically, then rushes, "Where's Kris? I... thought you'd be with him-"
"Busy," Yixing interrupts. "Busy with work. He's the marketing head of some company and he does all these boring things. Joonmyun and I tried getting him out of his office, actually." Yixing laughs a little before continuing, "But you know him. When he has his mind set on something, he'll take no distractions."
"Like you." Kyungsoo chuckles. His eyes are drawn to Yixing's fingers, how he drums them on Kyungsoo's shoulders. Yixing notices, so he stops and retracts his hand, but Kyungsoo lays his palm flat on the back of Yixing's hand. "He had his mind set on winning you back in college. He was really determined."
He can feel Yixing's fingers getting cold. Yixing always responds with his body faster than he can find the eloquence to translate his thoughts into words. It offers a strange sort of relief. Yixing remembers. Yixing's body remembers. And strangely enough, so does his own.
"It was, well, fun while it lasted." Yixing frees his hand from Kyungsoo's hold and runs it down Kyungsoo's arm, slow, almost excruciatingly so. "And it didn't last long."
"Really?" Yixing's hand settles on Kyungsoo's own, and Kyungsoo laces their fingers together on instinct. "Was there a third party?"
"Kris was the third party." Yixing takes a step forward. "Even if came first, he's always been the third party."
Kyungsoo parts his lips to speak, but only a soft oh comes out.
He waits - waits for the seconds to pass, for Yixing to pull away like he does after the short breaks during violin classes, for Yixing to burst into laughter and say that it's just a joke and you're gullible, so damn gullible, Do Kyungsoo, but Yixing stays still, like he's waiting for something as well. "Did you come with a friend," Kyungsoo tries, and Yixing just shakes his head. He tries again. "Did you come with Lu Han?"
Yixing laughs a little. "You're asking the wrong question."
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "Will you come to the reunion with me, even if we're already here?"
Yixing slaps him on the arm and lets his hand fall to his side. "Good enough."
Yixing's about to turn around when Kyungsoo grabs him by the wrist. It's dark in this part of the venue and it's safe here and they're too old to be playing games, so Kyungsoo pulls Yixing close until their noses touch. "Will you come to the reunion with me and stay with me the whole night and come home with me and stay until the morning?" he says all in one breath, and shakes, shivers when Yixing leans in, offering answers in the warm press of his mouth, Yixing's fingers slowly curling at the back of his neck.
He takes a deep breath but Yixing takes it back, takes all of him. He licks the back of Yixing's teeth. Yixing giggles.
He's never been more sure of anything in his life.