(no subject)

[onyourshirt]

i remember the
table, the drapes, and the window
most of all,
i can remember my mother smililing
worn out and faded
more than anything
she wanted us to be happy
she was right,
it's better to be happy if possible
my outside ached, my inside stung
my mother,
the poor fish, staging eternal
charades and parades,
for the raging inferno
wanting to be happy, beaten all the while
asking me always
"why don't you ever smile?."
and she'd show me
how to do it,
mother and wife
it was the saddest smile i ever saw
in my whole life
it hurt worse than death
but for her sake i tried
as my mother smiled.