(no subject)
So I fell in love, and I should have held back, in the past I could. You know all the quotes about loving someone that you know that you can’t have… it’s so true and I see the love. I see it all the time. It’s true about the whole it hurts so much and it hurts worse when you are with them and you know that you’ll never be able to have that love on the same level, because they are already in love. So it comes down to doing the right thing and loving the best that you can. I had a client ask to today if I had ever fallen in love and been terrified to feel it… I wanted to scream YES! But instead I rerouted the conversation onto them. It’s about their healing not mine.
I am so blessed. I am so loved. I have nothing to be sad or depressed about. I love so much and so deep. I am lucky.
The past two days I have held a friend as her heart breaks! She gave up almost all of her life and he was cheating on her and not only that but as she laid next to him in bed he was IMING other girls. She’s understandably broken. She can’t sleep or eat. And he stood there and said, “Don’t hate me.” My friends in agony and I am with her and holding her up as much as I can and she’s breaking! She doesn’t feel good enough! And she damn well is! I don’t hate you, I feel sorry for YOU, because you’ve possibly lost the BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU. I want him to feel pain; I want him to feel guilt. I hate when the people I LOVE hurt like she is.
I need someone to explain to me how this happens? How can you be in LOVE with someone and yet, fuck around with someone else? Please… because this is ONE reason that it terrifies me to let my heart believe and trust another! Especially now, after the amounts of healing I’ve gone through! I helped her drink as her stomach roared in hate. I helped her eat, even as her body said it couldn’t. I talked with her till she felt she could lay down. And he has nothing to say! It just happened? BULLSHIT! And you can’t just do that and then play I am not going explain game. You own up to it! You owe the person you left and or cheated on that much.
Jesus, she was laying right next to him.
I remember when Amanda told me that she cheated; I couldn’t find the end to my tears. I loved her so much and then she came back to attack me at my apartment, and I forgave her, and took the blame, and today… we are friends. Crazy huh?
When Tim called and said he was gonna be a Dad, I just shut down. I shut him off completely from my world. At that point in my life, I couldn’t feel pain I was so numb to it; I just fell deeper into my abyss.
And Megan, well we all know I was fucking blindsided with that. Fuck me and a month later break up with me, and NOT TELL me, just say that you were trying to convince yourself that you loved me. Well actually she fucked me just to make sure, and then went back to him and fucked him and just like that, I’m not a lesbian, Haha I cured her! Go Me!
Oh and we can’t forget that I was an experiment with M... that finally was the last straw and I could have repeated the craze recently with someone else, but refused and it has since ruined a relationship, but fuck!
Am I mad? YES DAMN IT!
I know how she feels and it’s KILLING me to know that anyone has to feel it.
::punches a pillow::
Just do the right thing, PLEASE!
I am so blessed. I am so loved. I have nothing to be sad or depressed about. I love so much and so deep. I am lucky.
The past two days I have held a friend as her heart breaks! She gave up almost all of her life and he was cheating on her and not only that but as she laid next to him in bed he was IMING other girls. She’s understandably broken. She can’t sleep or eat. And he stood there and said, “Don’t hate me.” My friends in agony and I am with her and holding her up as much as I can and she’s breaking! She doesn’t feel good enough! And she damn well is! I don’t hate you, I feel sorry for YOU, because you’ve possibly lost the BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU. I want him to feel pain; I want him to feel guilt. I hate when the people I LOVE hurt like she is.
I need someone to explain to me how this happens? How can you be in LOVE with someone and yet, fuck around with someone else? Please… because this is ONE reason that it terrifies me to let my heart believe and trust another! Especially now, after the amounts of healing I’ve gone through! I helped her drink as her stomach roared in hate. I helped her eat, even as her body said it couldn’t. I talked with her till she felt she could lay down. And he has nothing to say! It just happened? BULLSHIT! And you can’t just do that and then play I am not going explain game. You own up to it! You owe the person you left and or cheated on that much.
Jesus, she was laying right next to him.
I remember when Amanda told me that she cheated; I couldn’t find the end to my tears. I loved her so much and then she came back to attack me at my apartment, and I forgave her, and took the blame, and today… we are friends. Crazy huh?
When Tim called and said he was gonna be a Dad, I just shut down. I shut him off completely from my world. At that point in my life, I couldn’t feel pain I was so numb to it; I just fell deeper into my abyss.
And Megan, well we all know I was fucking blindsided with that. Fuck me and a month later break up with me, and NOT TELL me, just say that you were trying to convince yourself that you loved me. Well actually she fucked me just to make sure, and then went back to him and fucked him and just like that, I’m not a lesbian, Haha I cured her! Go Me!
Oh and we can’t forget that I was an experiment with M... that finally was the last straw and I could have repeated the craze recently with someone else, but refused and it has since ruined a relationship, but fuck!
Am I mad? YES DAMN IT!
I know how she feels and it’s KILLING me to know that anyone has to feel it.
::punches a pillow::
Just do the right thing, PLEASE!