im changing my life - day 1
so i wanted to write to some people. i dont know if they read it but if they do, awesome.
Dear 1st person,
a lot has happened since we had our own place. a lot has changed. i never thought id be here. living my life, without you. i can honestly say that i know what its like to be in love. because there is no way i could love anyone more than i loved you. thats just the truth. im writing cuz i wanted to tell you some stuff. no matter how much i say i hated you, i dont think you can hate something that you really loved. i just hated that our time had to come to an end. i made some changes. im doing everything i can to get a job out here, im still getting my feet back on solid ground. i did however sign up for school. i start this fall. something in me tells me that you really are sincere, and do care about my well being. so i wanted you to know that im on the right path. better late than never, right? the whole church thing. belive it or not, im going a lot. i also want to go, instead of feel like im being forced to go. the people at joshs church are just awesome people and they are so on fire for christ it just makes me feel happy. im taking things slow, but yea. im back in church. i know that you know ive wanted it for a long time... im also running every day again. its starting to feel great. once i get my lungs back in order, i can start working out but thats just something else all together. i miss running every day. it SUCKS..but it pays off...the willey said something (aja) that i put in my myspace. basically saying i should be greatful, not pissed, that your gone. because you helped me. you pushed me to the limit and now im starting to see why. theres so much more for me. and its time that i grow up. i know its just words on a livejournal right now. but ill prove it with actions. i miss you and hope that your doing great.
Dear 2nd person,
I dont know why i acted the way i did. Watching phantom of the opera really opened my eyes to a lot of things. dont try to understand why, cuz its just, inside. but that "think of me" song, in my myspace,is dedicated to you. ill always remember you. i mean we only shared a few laughs together as oppose to a long relationship which i would have liked. but they say everything happens for a reason, and im honestly starting to believe it. im not saying i loved you, because i didnt. i liked you a lot. but you did show me there is life after loss. after her i thought there was nothing else. but you turned my whole perspective on that around. i miss mandy, i know she quieres. i want my best friend back. i can honestly say, that i promise, it wont be like before i left. no more low blows. i honestly want the best for you no matter what. thats sincere, you can take that to the bank, and cash it, and then split it with me im broke as hell. dont frown cuz its over smile cuz it happened. i miss you, i want late night texts again! and i really just want to know when all this is over, were gunna be friends for a long time.
Dear everyone else. i know youve heard it before, cuz ive said it before. but this time i mean it. im taking things slow, (baby steps fo sho!!!!)
i want you to know youve all in some way, impacted my life. i wouldnt be here today if it werent for some people pushing me, and always being there for me. i owe it to you guys, but above all, myself, to make this change. everything happens for a reason, and i say that with conviction. i know this is where im ment to be. i miss all of you, and i hope to hear from you soon.
nathan
Dear 1st person,
a lot has happened since we had our own place. a lot has changed. i never thought id be here. living my life, without you. i can honestly say that i know what its like to be in love. because there is no way i could love anyone more than i loved you. thats just the truth. im writing cuz i wanted to tell you some stuff. no matter how much i say i hated you, i dont think you can hate something that you really loved. i just hated that our time had to come to an end. i made some changes. im doing everything i can to get a job out here, im still getting my feet back on solid ground. i did however sign up for school. i start this fall. something in me tells me that you really are sincere, and do care about my well being. so i wanted you to know that im on the right path. better late than never, right? the whole church thing. belive it or not, im going a lot. i also want to go, instead of feel like im being forced to go. the people at joshs church are just awesome people and they are so on fire for christ it just makes me feel happy. im taking things slow, but yea. im back in church. i know that you know ive wanted it for a long time... im also running every day again. its starting to feel great. once i get my lungs back in order, i can start working out but thats just something else all together. i miss running every day. it SUCKS..but it pays off...the willey said something (aja) that i put in my myspace. basically saying i should be greatful, not pissed, that your gone. because you helped me. you pushed me to the limit and now im starting to see why. theres so much more for me. and its time that i grow up. i know its just words on a livejournal right now. but ill prove it with actions. i miss you and hope that your doing great.
Dear 2nd person,
I dont know why i acted the way i did. Watching phantom of the opera really opened my eyes to a lot of things. dont try to understand why, cuz its just, inside. but that "think of me" song, in my myspace,is dedicated to you. ill always remember you. i mean we only shared a few laughs together as oppose to a long relationship which i would have liked. but they say everything happens for a reason, and im honestly starting to believe it. im not saying i loved you, because i didnt. i liked you a lot. but you did show me there is life after loss. after her i thought there was nothing else. but you turned my whole perspective on that around. i miss mandy, i know she quieres. i want my best friend back. i can honestly say, that i promise, it wont be like before i left. no more low blows. i honestly want the best for you no matter what. thats sincere, you can take that to the bank, and cash it, and then split it with me im broke as hell. dont frown cuz its over smile cuz it happened. i miss you, i want late night texts again! and i really just want to know when all this is over, were gunna be friends for a long time.
Dear everyone else. i know youve heard it before, cuz ive said it before. but this time i mean it. im taking things slow, (baby steps fo sho!!!!)
i want you to know youve all in some way, impacted my life. i wouldnt be here today if it werent for some people pushing me, and always being there for me. i owe it to you guys, but above all, myself, to make this change. everything happens for a reason, and i say that with conviction. i know this is where im ment to be. i miss all of you, and i hope to hear from you soon.
nathan