Comments | ontogenesis: Hikaru No Go Fic: Desynchronization (WIP) Part VII, Part II of II

ontogenesis

Hikaru No Go Fic: Desynchronization (WIP) Part VII, Part II of II

Nov 27, 2007 20:45

Title: desynchronization. Part VII of ?, Part II of II (WIP)
Main Characters: Ogata, Sai. No pairings currently.
Disclaimer: These lovely characters are the creation of Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata. Not mine, I'm just playing in their sandbox.
Spoilers: For the entire series.
Warnings: Ages 16 and up. Mild cursing and sensuality. It's possible ( Read more... )

Comments 44

sivullinen November 27 2007, 12:56:01 UTC

“I never said I thought schoolmistresses were ugly, and I find puffer fish a rather tasty dish,” Ogata said softly into Fujiwara's ear before extracting the guide from Fujiwara with his other hand.

ASLJALKFSDGLDFK ♥ ♥ ♥

Sorry, I'm too high on glee to say anything more.

Except! Loved this, so much, it was brilliant, I loved how the plot moved on, and your author notes make me wish you would write meta about your insight to the characters - though not at the expense of writing fic ;)

ontogenesis December 2 2007, 14:17:55 UTC

The best part is that Ogata hadn't even intended to be sexy about it. Lol, he couldn't help himself.

I'm happy you enjoyed the progress of the plot. Things will start to move more quickly from now on.

I enjoy reading and writing meta... if only I had the time to do more! But I'll keep in mind that perhaps people might find mine interesting, and do a bit in the future.

issen4 November 27 2007, 15:10:45 UTC

Cool. I enjoyed this a lot. The fish--Kuwabara, heh--were great, and so was the aquarium visit, but what happened after with the nightmare was really good. I like the little bits of background that surfaces, even though Ogata sort of interpreted them wrong (but how would he know, right?) because it shows Ogata thinking more and more about Sai. And playing with Sai's hair. Hee.

Thank you for posting this!

ontogenesis December 2 2007, 14:22:41 UTC

^^ It seems the Kuwabara fish is quite popular. I haven't quite decided what to write when Sai eventually meets the *real* Kuwabara, but all the scenarios I've thought of make me grin.

:nods: The nightmare scene was tricky to write, and yes, it makes sense that Ogata would think the other party involved was the dead one - that's the logical assumption. Unfortunately for Sai, he's going to have to deal with a lot more emotional pain as he continues to recover his memories. The question is how much of a support Ogata is going to be for him.

aiwritingfic November 27 2007, 15:11:48 UTC

Please anticipate the scene in which Fujiwara meets Kuwabara, and blurts out "Oh, we have a fish named Kuwabara!"

WRITE IT NOW PLEASE!

ontogenesis December 2 2007, 14:24:03 UTC

Greedy greedy!

aiwritingfic December 2 2007, 14:28:53 UTC

I am. ^_^ *hearts and snuggles*

rininjapan November 27 2007, 16:03:13 UTC

I <3 U. Please let me enslave you and and make you read to me your gorgeous stories every night before bed. LOL Seriously though, you are a legend and this story is shaping up so beautifully. I also agree with the above response about the schoolmistress line. For such a long time, I was sitting there going, "Oh hurry up and hug or kiss him, or both! Dammit do something Ogata!" Though I was quite satisfied with the last scene in there, especially with Ogata playing with Sai's hair.

Thanks again. Your story rocks! Can't wait to read more!

rininjapan November 27 2007, 16:04:26 UTC

Oh btw, your information and your insight on marine life, as well as the way you write it into Ogata's character, is so beautiful. Thanks so much for the imagery!

ontogenesis December 2 2007, 14:27:49 UTC

Oh dear, a reading slave? ^^ I hope you pay well...

Hehe, well, Ogata's a restrained fellow. We could get him drunk of course, but I think that wouldn't work out so well in the long run.

I'm happy you enjoyed it.

rininjapan December 3 2007, 11:07:23 UTC

Slave =/= Paid occupation! XD

Ogata, restrained? Yeah barely! He's having enough trouble as it is keeping his hungry eyes from giving Sai the once or twice over and he's already given up on denying there isn't a serious feeling of attraction there. Will the Ogata wolf get the cute little Sai lamb? Stay tuned...

tarigwaemir November 27 2007, 20:45:55 UTC

I love the interlude with Waya! The scene with the beluga is a nice touch too.

It's interesting to see more and more people finding out about Sai...am eagerly waiting for the moment when Shindou finds out. ^_^

ontogenesis December 2 2007, 14:30:58 UTC

It seems a lot of people really enjoyed the Waya part. I'm relieved; I was afraid I was getting him all wrong because I'm not a "Waya fan" so I didn't pay as much attention to him. Although I do like him better now that I've studied him.

The beluga tank was awesome. I could have sat on the floor next to the tank and just stared at him / her for a long time.

I have the Shindou scene planned out. It's going to be very emotionally draining for Shindou... but he'll have some support to help him get through it.