Unstable (2/2)
Title: Unstable (2/2)
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: angst, humor, hurt/comfort, Derek/Stiles
Spoilers: all of season one
Warnings: some self-harm, also Stiles is crazy
Word Count: For this part: 7,419, for whole fic: 10723
Summary: Some people would say that Stiles was crazy or insane; however, Stiles would say that he was simply unstable, but otherwise a good guy.
Disclaimer: Standard still applies.
A/N: So, there are some fanart and a fanmix in the works for this story. As well as other stories (I'm hoping I get to make this into a series). You can see the fanart and fanmix on my AO3 account. But here is part two, it's longer than part one. But I hope you enjoy it.
PART ONE
PART TWO
"Stiles." John said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder, "You're having an episode."
"No." Stiles said, rolling his eyes, "I'm not. I know why you think I am, I mean, I thought I was at first too. When it first started happening, but dude. Werewolves. They're real."
John shook his head and grabbed both of Stiles' hands in his. He was glad to see that Stiles' hand had healed from punching the mirror. He was lucky that there weren't any scars. "Son, werewolves aren't real. You're hallucinating."
Stiles sighed, "I should've known that you'd think this. Because it makes more sense that they aren't real. But dad, Scott is a legit werewolf. And so is Derek and Jackson and Lydia and Danny is thinking of getting the bite and I don't want the bite because that would a BAD idea. Capslock on 'bad' incase you didn't hear it."
"I heard it." John said. "And I agree, you being a werewolf is a BAD idea, but it's not ever going to happen as they aren't real."
"I need you to know that they are, though." Stiles said, not trying to take his hands from his father's, "Because it would be a good idea if the Sheriff knew. Make things easier in case something goes south again."
"Again?"
"Yeah, well." Stiles paused for a second, taking a deep breath before continuing at a fast pace, "Those weren't mountain lion or Kate Argent I mean some of it was Kate because she's the one who burnt down the Hale house and that blows, you know? Anyway, because of the fire, Peter Hale had gone batshit in a different way than me, and like, started wolfing out and killing people. He also bit Scott that one time when I lied and said it was just me in the woods. Scott was with me. And I left him out there. To get bit. It happens. But after that Scott and I teamed up with Derek to defeat Peter like some really crappy superheroes. The kind that are underdogs but you root for. That's us."
John's eyebrows were raised, "No, son. Peter Hale didn't-"
"He did so." Stiles said. "I can show you! Well, not show you Peter, but I can get Scott or Derek over here to show you that they are werewolves." He paused, "The Pack knows that I'm telling you this. And we all agreed that they shouldn't be around when I told you unless you went into a protective fit and said that I can't hang out with them. Which wouldn't work as I am Pack too. Human still. Because BAD."
John sighed and nodded. If Stiles got Scott to come over he would have someone else to help Stiles see that he was hallucinating. "Okay, call Scott."
It didn't take long for Scott to show up, and once he was inside, he acted almost shy. Which could be because on the phone Stiles told him, "You need to get over here and show yourself off because he isn't believing me." And he could probably tell that Stiles was having an episode.
"So," Stiles said, ushering Scott to the middle of the kitchen, "Dad needs to see you wolf out because he thinks I'm hallucinating."
Scott nodded, "Mr. Stilinski. Stiles is telling the truth."
John's eyes narrowed, "Scott. You know we aren't supposed to encourage him when he's like this."
"But I'm not." Scott said, throwing his arms up in the air. "I'm a werewolf." When it looked like John was going to say something else, Stiles cut in, "Just show him!"
Scott sighed and then he breathed deep for a second. He glanced once at Stiles before he started to change. His hair grew, his eyes slanted and glowed an amber, teeth growing and claws appearing.
"Holy shit."
"I told you!" Stiles said, waving at Scott, "Werewolves."
"Can I turn back now?" Scott asked, voice slightly different due to the teeth.
"Sure." Stiles shrugged. "So, yeah. We're sharing this secret with you," he said to his dad, "because, as I said, if some shit goes down again, you'll be our side!"
"Unless you're the ones who did the crime." John wasn't taking his eyes off Scott even though he looked human once more.
"Yeah, 'course." Stiles rolled his eyes, "But that's not going to happen. Because of reasons." He looked at Scott and then his father, "Scott, I hate to get you here just to show off and leave, but I think Dad might be more comfortable if you weren't here." He paused, "Let him get used to the idea?"
Scott nodded, "Right. Okay then. See you in school tomorrow."
John watched Scott walk out and as soon as he couldn't see him, his eyes flew to Stiles. "Werewolves are real." He said slowly.
"Yep." Stiles said, "As are hunters. Which is what the Argents are. But they only hunt those that are rogue."
"Like Peter Hale."
"Like Peter Hale." Stiles agreed. "But not our Pack."
"Right." John stood up, "I think I need a drink."
After that, John got information about of Stiles and then he went to the Argents to hear about the hunters side of things. For a while, he stared at any of the werewolves when they were around, but it didn't take long for him to accept that werewolves were in town and that his son was part of their Pack. He wasn't sure if he liked that Stiles hung out with a bunch of werewolves that had a chance to go feral, but John saw how they accepted him. To him, it didn't matter that they were werewolves so long as they continued to accept his son.
Even during the full moon.
Nowadays it wasn't uncommon for Stiles to wait inside the Hale home while the wolves went out during a full moon and ran in the Hale woods. Stiles would clean, maybe make a few repairs on the home and make them a breakfast for when they came back in the early morning hours.
It was comforting to the Pack. Every so often Danny joined Stiles, as he was still debating if he wanted to be a werewolf or not. Allison was never allowed near the Pack during a full moon. Which was a fact that didn't surprise anyone.
But what did cause a surprise was that when they were near the house, they could smell it. That aroma that each member of the Pack associated with Stiles having an episode. But under that scent was something more frightening. The stench of fresh blood.
Without glancing at each other, the werewolves started running to the house. No longer a relaxed stroll, no more playful nudges, no joking or laughter.
Derek was in the front of the group, and he pushed his door open so hard that the door handle lodged itself into the wall. He looked around quickly, listening and smelling, wanting to find Stiles as soon as he could. Scott was right behind him, knowing were Stiles was before Derek. "Kitchen."
This time Scott lead the group to Stiles.
Stiles.
Who was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, back against the wall. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his was whimpering, eyes darting back and forth, as if looking for whatever was hurting him. Derek's eyes narrowed when he saw where the smell of blood was coming from.
Because it was Stiles.
Stiles was the one hurting himself.
His hands were tugging at his ears, as if he was trying to make it so that he didn't hear whatever he was listening to. His nails had dug into the sensitive skin behind his ears. There was blood soaking into the collar of his tee shirt.
Scott was in front of Stiles, "Stiles?" He put a hand on one of Stiles' wrists. "Hey Stiles." His voice was soft.
Stiles' eyes weren't focused. And he was muttering protests under his breath. His hand twisted, wrist falling out of Scott's grip as he pulled at his ears. He was shaking some as he did so and Scott reached out again, getting a hold of Stiles' hand and started to pull it down.
Stiles' protests grew a touch louder and he started backing away from Scott, getting closer to the wall.
Scott bit his lip, he'd never seen Stiles like this. Scott took both of Stiles' hands in his, "It's okay Stiles. Whatever is going on, it's okay."
Stiles' hands slipped out of Scott's grasp, the little bit of blood making it slide. Derek was now crouched besides Scott. "You need to hold his forearms." Derek said as he did as he had just instructed. "Stiles, you need to snap out of this."
Scott shot him a look, "Do you really think he can magically snap out of his episodes? It doesn't work like that. I know you've never seen him in an episode, but-"
"I have." Derek said.
"What?" Scott glanced at Derek for a second before looking back at Stiles.
"I've seen him have an episode." Derek said before directing his attention back to Stiles, "Stiles."
Stiles' arms twitched in Derek's grasp, clearly wanting freedom. When Stiles couldn't shut the voices out with his hands over his ears anymore, he started to hit his head against the wall.
"Shit." Derek said. When Scott went to reach out and stop Stiles, Derek continued, "Don't. He is pulling hard against me with his arms and if you immobilize his head he might strain his neck."
Scott froze, clearly not sure what to do, but wanting Stiles to stop hurting himself.
Before Scott could figure out how to help, Jackson was there beside them with a pillow, "I got this from your bed." He told Derek, holding the pillow out.
Scott grabbed it and put it behind Stiles' head. At least now he had a cushion to help stop the damage. Jackson went to sit on the floor, away from Stiles. He and Lydia stayed back, not wanting to crowd Stiles even though he wasn't paying attention to anything around him.
"Is there someone we should call?" Lydia suggested, worry tilting her voice.
Scott nodded, "I don't think we can help him right now." He stood up, "I'm going to call his dad."
It wasn't long after the phone call that John came running into the house. "Stiles?"
Scott appeared then, "He's in the kitchen. And it's bad." He lead the sheriff to Stiles, who was still banging his head, only now both of Derek's pillows were there to soften the blow. Derek hadn't let go to Stiles' hands which were still fighting him.
John walked briskly to his son, "Stiles?" He knew he wouldn't get an answer. If it had been as simple as saying his name, John knew that he wouldn't have gotten a phone call from Scott, telling him to "come to Derek's house because it's Stiles." John wasn't amused that Scott didn't even tell him what was going on with Stiles.
John knew that Stiles had joined the Pack on a full moon and for all he knew Stiles got an injury from a werewolf. He didn't know that it was about his illness. But he was right, Stiles did have an injury, if the blood was any indication. Speaking quietly, he said, "They've changed his meds."
He tried to get Stiles to stop, but he knew before he started that whatever Stiles was hearing held him in its grasp. And it didn't seem like he was hearing anything pleasant. "His heart beat?" he asked, Derek.
"Too fast." Derek replied. "And I'm sorry, he might have bruises on his arms from me later."
John put a hand on Derek's shoulder, "It's okay, son. I know you wouldn't deliberately hurt him." He paused, "I have some sedatives in my car, I'll be right back."
He had sedatives for a few reasons, one of them was that Stiles sometimes needed them. It didn't happen often, and it happened less than it used to. John never liked having to use the sedatives on his son. But sometimes it was better than an alternative. Like this time.
After administering the sedatives they watched as Stiles slowly stopped banging his head and closed his eyes, his breathing evened out. John turned to the teens, "You all should go home. Derek and I can handle this from here."
Lydia and Jackson nodded before leaving, but Scott didn't move. "Why can't I stay? I should be there for when he wakes up."
"Scott." John said, hands on his hips, "Your mom will be off work soon and she does check in on you before she goes to bed. And she doesn't know about werewolves." He raised an eyebrow, "So unless you want to tell her that sometimes, you get so hairy that no amount of shaving would help…"
Scott ducked his head, "Have him call me?"
"Will do." John said. Once Scott was gone, he turned to Derek, "I'm afraid I have to ask a favor of you."
Derek had been watching Stiles while John and Scott talked, but when John spoke to him, he looked at John.
"I can make it work if you say no, I'd just have to make some phone calls, but I'm supposed to be working in a few hours and I'm pulling a double. Someone should be there for when Stiles wakes up." He held up his hand, "I know Scott would have agreed, but he has school tomorrow and I won't ask for him to skip it. Stiles shouldn't go to school tomorrow." He took a breath, "Son, what I'm trying to ask is if you'll let Stiles stay here and that you'll take time out of your schedule to watch over him."
Derek blinked, "You'd trust me to do that?"
A slight smile found John's face, "I said earlier that I know you wouldn't hurt him. To me, that's another way to say that I trust you."
Derek nodded slowly, "Yes. I'll watch out for Stiles."
"I know you will, Derek." John helped Derek get Stiles up in Derek's bed and John filled Derek in what Stiles might be like when he woke up. Saying that he should be out of his episode, but told him that if Derek needed any help to call.
In the morning, Stiles knew that something bad had happened. It had to have. Either he had been kidnapped and drugged by some other pack or supernatural creatures or he had a bad episode. A really bad one. Super bad.
Stiles hated, he really hated that he know what it feels like to wake up after being sedated. That isn't something most teenagers know the feeling of. And he hated that he knows it. It bothered him, sometimes. Knowing that his life is a complete mess - and that was before he knew about werewolves. His dad had been worried about Stiles getting his own license to drive because what if he had an episode while driving? He hated that he has to think about what would happen if he did have an episode while driving.
He sighed and breathed deep. It smelt like Derek, which was odd. Having not opened his eyes yet, he nuzzled into the blankets and pillows only to let out a whimper of pain. Why did his head hurt? It was migraine level, and then the area behind his ears hurt like crazy. Reaching up, he felt some bandages and okay, so something happened with blood. Pulling his hand back down, Stiles cracked open his eyes and happened to spot some massive bruising on his arms.
Lovely.
What had happened?
"What happened?" He figured someone was with him, probably not his dad since Stiles was not in his bed. He thought it would be Derek because the bed sure smelt like Derek.
"You had an episode." Derek said.
Stiles turned towards the voice, "Yeah, I figured as much."
Derek cleared his throat, "Your dad had to sedate you."
"Yeah, I figured that too dude." Stiles said, "Listen. I know you don't have much here but do you like, have some headache medicine? I can take Advil. Got any of that?"
"Your father dropped off a bunch of pills last night for you. I can see if he left any Advil." Derek said as he walked out of the room.
Stiles was starting to remember parts of the episode. He didn't always remember what he did during the attacks, but sometimes he remembers bits and pieces. He always knew how he had felt though, even if he doesn't know what happened. He still has those left over feelings. He felt like his body was weighed down with guilt, self-hatred, fear, and worthlessness. Not just those heavy blankets from the bed weighing him down.
Which, how many blankets did Derek think he needed anyway?
He was hot.
Kicking his feet, Stiles shoved the blankets down, the reached down and pulled only one up. He didn't need so many, but he wanted something. Closing his eyes he was trying to stop the pounding in his head when he heard a sudden clatter. Making a face of distress he looked up to see a guilty looking Derek standing over a pile of pill bottles on his bedside table.
"I brought your pills." Derek said, quickly sitting down in a chair.
"I can tell." Stiles sat up slowly. "Why does my head hurt so much?"
"You were banging your head against the wall." Derek stated.
"Right." Stiles sighed and looked at all the bottles. He cheered mentally when he saw an Advil bottle. Grabbing a handful of Advil and all his medication, he dry swallowed them with ease. "And my ears?"
"You were trying to rip them off." Derek was staring intensely at Stiles now.
"And so the bruises on my arms are from someone holding them back from actually completely the job." Stiles laid back down.
"They're from me." Derek said. And Stiles could swear he heard some sort of emotion in Derek's voice. Which is odd because the only emotions he is used to hearing is anger and annoyance. But this sounded like he was blaming himself.
"Good God, you're not blaming yourself are you?" The silence Stiles heard was enough of an answer. "How can you be blaming yourself in any way? You didn't cause the episode-"
"I thought I might have." Derek said quietly.
"What?" Stiles was confused.
"I thought that maybe you saw me was a wolf and it caused another attack." Derek answered.
"Dude, no." Stiles figured this would turn into a conversation, so he propped himself up on some pillows. "Why would you think that? I, yes, okay, I understand that last time you saw me freak out, it was because I saw you in wolf form with red eyes and junk and legit thought that Peter was back. But this one wasn't because of that. I don't know what started it, but they've been messing with my intake of meds and it sucks whenever they do that. It's totally my doctor's fault. Don't blame yourself, Derek."
"But I hurt you." Derek growled.
"You probably saved me from doing damage of my ears. Like, I don't do self-harming episodes often, but they can be, well. Bad. Like, I can cause real damage to myself. So what if I have some bruises on my arms? It's better than what could have happened."
They sat in silence for awhile. And once Stiles was almost asleep, Derek spoke up, "You were afraid."
"Yeah, man." Stiles agreed, "I didn't like what I was hearing."
There was a pause before Derek said, "Do you remember what-" cutting himself off with a growl, he added, "Nevermind."
Stiles rolled his eyes, "I heard voices telling me some rather hurtful things." He shrugged, it wasn't anything new. When people found out he heard voices they often got panicked, worried that they told him to hurt people. But the voices never told him to harm anyone, not even himself. The just preyed on his insecurities and fed on them.
He looked over at Derek and saw that he looked a bit upset. "Aw, dude. It was hurtful things about me, not about you. No reason to look like someone stepped on your tail." If anything, he looked even more upset. "What?"
"I don't like that you had to hear those things." Derek said.
"It's not like I could stop them." Stile replied. "Not a big deal."
Derek was abruptly in his space, leaning over him, "What did you hear?"
"Dude, it'd be really mean to use it against me if I told you." Stiles said, "Because that leads to even worse self-esteem problems- Okay, enough with the sudden growling."
"What. Did. You. Hear."
Stiles shrugged, "Y'know. About how I'm not actually part of the pack since I'm just a human, and like, you'll all just waiting for a time to drop my sorry, insane ass. And how I'll never find anyone to actually have a relationship because I'm crazy as shit and how it's my fault my mom died because I was in the car with her and maybe it was my fault for the wreck even though I know it's not because the dude who hit us just didn't see us and that sucks and it's my fault my dad works so much because I'm so expensive with my medication and doctors and my dad doesn't actually love me because how can anyone love me? Scott is my only friend and that's because he's honestly not the brightest crayon in the box and doesn't know that he shouldn't befriend the crazy ones and other things of that nature."
Derek looked pained, sitting down on the bed next to Stiles he opened his mouth a few times before saying, "You don't actually believe that do you?" His voice sounded a bit hollow.
Stiles shrugged, "I don't really have much evidence to support otherwise."
"Stiles," Derek said, voice breaking over his name, "your illness doesn't define you."
"I beg to differ." Stiles said, "You don't realize how much of my life revolves around it."
Derek sighed, "Would you say that 'werewolf' is the best definition of any one in the Pack?"
"No. I mean, they have so many other things going on that the whole werewolf thing isn't too huge of a deal. Okay, with you it is because like, you don't do much else besides walk around in a burnt out home that is slowly being rebuilt but still." He shrugged.
"Then why would your illness be the only thing important about you if our illness," and he didn't seem happy describing theirs as an illness, "isn't?"
"Because it doesn't rule your life." Stiles said, "You can still be normal. I can't. Man, I'm broken and no one can love something that is broken."
"You're not broken, Stiles." Derek said, getting closer.
"Am too." Stiles protested childishly.
Derek let out a long suffering sigh. "I was going to wait to suggest this until later. After you'd recovered from your episode more." He paused and then narrowed his eyes. "I want to go out with you."
"Like to the grocery store?" Stiles asked, voice shaking.
"I was thinking movies, restaurant, that sort of thing." Derek said, not breaking eye contact.
Stiles blinked, "Dating? You want to date me?" His mouth gaped, "But why?"
"I think we could be mates." Derek said.
"You're kidding." Stiles replied, and when Derek just continued to stare at him silently, he said, "You're not kidding. But like, man." He sighed, "I've read about werewolf mates. There is that weird ritual, bite thing-"
"You make it sound like a cult." Derek frowned.
"-and then we'd be mates for life. Like, it's more permanent than marriage because of divorce. And you really don't actually think you'd want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life." Derek just continued to stare at him, "Or you do think you'd want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life. Oh my God. You're not kidding, you really want to date me. Dude this is huge, this is-"
Derek quick leaned in and shut him up with a kiss.
Stiles was surprised that dating Derek was so effortless. He'd never thought that dating Derek would be uncomplicated, but it was. They hadn't told anyone, but Stiles was sure that most of the Pack noticed. It didn't really bother him, that they knew. But he hadn't told his father yet. He wanted to make sure that the relationship would last before telling his dad. Because if Derek came to his senses and dumped Stiles, breaking his heart, John would kill Derek. And Stiles didn't want that to happen, and he still had his doubts that they would last, that Derek would want Stiles to be his mate.
But either from dating Derek and having a stable relationship, Dr. Christy always talked about this having an Anchor to help stable him (Stiles thought that was a load of crap, but whatever), or from his adjusted meds, he was having less episodes. And when he did have episodes, they weren't as severe.
But they started going on dates. Actual dates. Derek voluntarily let himself be seen in public with Stiles. Derek surprised Stiles in that he acted like they were dating. He held Stiles' hand, kissed him out in the open and glared at those who made disgusted faces at them. Stiles was surprised that his father never said they needed to talk about the fact that was dating Derek. Either no one had mentioned it to him or he already knew and was waiting for Stiles to tell him.
Derek was actually big on the PDA.
Probably because it was some werewolf way to mark his territory.
And that idea frightened Stiles, because it meant that Derek would want to be with him for a while, might want to become mates. And Stiles, okay, Stiles loves Derek. He's not afraid to admit it. But he just can't see why anyone would want to spend the rest of their life with him. Stiles is loveable in a puppy kind of way. Yes, he's adorable and funny, but you can't make a stable and long lasting relationship with puppy love.
"I'm like a puppy." Stiles said as he and Derek drove to one of the restaurants the frequented.
Derek looked at him, eyebrows raised. After shaking his head, he went back to looking at the road.
"I'm serious." Stiles said, not wanting to explain himself because Derek didn't like it when Stiles voiced at how he doubted Derek's feelings for him. He was going to change the topic so that Derek didn't ask him to explain when Derek's car made a noise and then rolled to a stop. Derek stared at his steering wheel in confusion and Stiles was surprised that the topic would change all on it's own.
"Well that is a surprise." Stiles said. "I mean, I never thought that your car would do this to us which is one of the reasons we always use it, dude. The other reason is that you have the need to speed and so you force me into your car even though it's like, super scary how you drive-"
"Stiles." Derek said, "Shut up."
"Will do." Stiles said, closing his mouth. Then adding, "I mean, I'll try. But man, what is up with your car. And I'm hungry. And we're pretty far away from civilization."
Derek growled and got out the car, slamming the door.
"Okay then." Stiles said, grinning to himself as he followed suit. Only without the slamming.
The hood was open and Derek had taken off his shirt. Probably because he didn't want to get oil on it, but also probably because he seemed to have an allergy to shirts. Not that Stiles complained seeing his boyfriend shirtless. "I didn't know you knew about cars."
Derek sighed and looked at him sideways, "I don't."
Stiles laughed, "Then why are you bothering?"
Derek shrugged and stood up. Closing the hood, he put his shirt over his shoulder. Because apparently he was going to be shirtless for a bit longer. Awesome.
"Derek." Stiles said, dragging his name out, "I'm hungry."
"I don't have any food, you'll just have to wait." Derek said, searching his pockets for his cell phone. "I don't have my phone."
Stiles pulled his out, "No service. Of course." He paused for a second before quickly getting into the passenger side of the car. He was laying on the seat, his feet dangling out the door.
"Stiles," Derek let out a long suffering sigh, "What are you doing?"
"Food." Stiles said.
"I don't have food in the car. It's not like I planned this. There isn't a picnic basket in there." Derek said, frowning.
"No," Stiles agreed, "But I have stashed some snacks in your glove compartment."
"What." Derek growled.
Stiles face appeared, "Yeah, then I put car freshener in there too, hoping you wouldn't smell the food and eat it." He grinned, "So it worked? Score." He got out of the car then with his hands full of candy, little cakes, and chips. "See? I plan ahead."
Derek didn't look impressed.
"Smile dude." Stiles said, walking into the forest, "Let's find a clearing by a shade tree and have a romantic and spontaneous picnic because as soon as you said 'picnic' I realized that was exactly what needed to happen right now."
It didn't take long for them to find a flat clearing under a tree. Stiles dropped the food and then sat down. Looking up at Derek, who was still standing, he said, "Join me Derek. You can commune with nature while you eat, like a good werewolf."
"What?" Derek asked, sitting down next to Stiles.
"I don't know, dude. But we're having our first picnic as a couple. This is a big step, legit." Stiles grinned and started dividing the food.
"We have nothing to drink, Stiles." Derek said, frowning at all the pile of junk food in front of him.
Stiles shrugged, "If one of us gets thirsty we can swap spit." He waggled his eyebrows but stopped at Derek's blank look, "Or not. Why are you against making out at our picnic? That's a bit rude."
Derek sighed and opened up a bag of chips. "Are there any meds you need to take with your lunch?"
"Yep." Stiles nodded, "But I've got them with me, no worries." He smiled as he stuffed his face with a chocolate cookie.
Derek rolled his eyes but started to eat. It was oddly peaceful and quiet, if you ignored how loud Stiles ate. But then he didn't do anything silently. If Stiles would be silent for over five minutes Derek would probably panic with worry as to what was wrong with the teen. Not that he would change any of that.
"We're so lucky that I had stashed that food in your car." Stiles said.
Derek paused and looked at him, "Why did you stash food in my car?"
Stiles shrugged, "I like to be prepared. Learned that from my days as a Boy Scout."
"You were a Boy Scout?" Derek asked.
"No." Stiles laughed, "But I read the handbook because Scott was. But I would've been a kick ass Boy Scout. I'd have all the badges. Were you in the Boy Scouts? Werewolf Scouts?"
"No." Derek said, finishing off the bag of chips. Letting out what could be a content sigh if he was anyone besides Derek Hale, he laid down in the grass with his shirt as a pillow.
Stiles grinned and then laid with his head resting on Derek's stomach, "Dude, Derek, we should have picnics more often."
"If this is going to be a regular thing," Derek said, "we're going to have to pack better. Remember drinks and actual food."
Stiles turned his head so that he was seeing Derek's chin. "If you're thirsty we can swap spit. Like I suggested." Derek snorted. "And this can totally become a thing we do. Just us. Not the Pack, unless you want the Pack to go on picnics but I think that they're rather special now, just for us." They talked a bit and ate some more of the junk food. After taking a short nap, Stiles woke Derek up, "Derek?"
"Hmm?" Derek asked sleepily.
"If I have no cell service and you have no cell and your car doesn't work, how are we going to get home?" Stiles only had enough of his meds for the rest of the day. It's not like he carries his pill bottles around with him.
"Someone will be along." Derek said.
Which was true, it wasn't long after they walked back to the car that Chris Argent slowed down next to them. "Having trouble?" Stiles could tell that he was having trouble not laughing at them. In the end, they got in the car with him and while that was awkward, it also made it so that Derek and Chris could set a time to meet and discuss the Hunter and Pack Truce. The Truce wasn't all that stable, and everyone knew that if it got more concrete that they'd breathe a bit easier.
Only it was also agreed that Stiles would come to the meeting too, so that he could make sure Derek and Chris wouldn't kill one another because he kept them from each other's throats when they were in the same car.
The meeting was a few days later, and Stiles had been a hurry, quickly showering and running out the door with a quick "Later" to his dad as he jumped in Derek's car, which was now fixed. "So, I was thinking, y'know, after this meeting you and I could go on a date and it'd be magical." His knee bounced quickly in the car, "Yeah?"
"Sure." Derek agreed. He listened to Stiles ramble on the ride to the Argent's house. Derek ushered Stiles inside the house and had him sit next to him on the sofa. As soon as the meeting started, Stiles quieted, for which Derek was thankful. Chris wouldn't hurt Stiles, he knew that, but he knew that Stiles could also be hard to handle and though Chris has always respected Stiles so far, that could change as soon as Stiles let it slip that he was having sex with Derek. Chris probably wouldn't approve of that, not at all.
But Derek wouldn't be surprised if Chris had an idea of their relationship, and he wouldn't be surprised if Chris cornered Stiles soon and had a 'talk' to him. It helped that John knew about werewolves, Chris would probably feel that John could do the 'talk' with Stiles. Derek knew that John and Chris were friendly and got together once in awhile. It didn't worry him too much. If something did happen, with someone from his Pack or from a rival pack, it would be better if the sheriff could handle it himself.
"-your Pack had better-"
Derek tuned Chris out as he turned his head sharply at Stiles. Derek could smell it again. There was no sign of it, Stiles smelt like he usually did and then in the next breath, he was having an episode. It wasn't apparent, Christ probably had no idea. Stiles was sitting still, which should have tipped Derek off that something was going to happen, and he was staring off at the wall.
Derek got down on one knee in front of Stiles, cutting Chris off in his sentence. "Derek, what are you doing?" Chris asked.
Ignoring him, Derek saw that Stiles' eyes were glazed over and he probably didn't even see Derek in front of him. Cupping Stiles' cheek in his hand, he hoped to get his attention from whatever he was seeing. "Baby," Derek started, having found out from previous episodes that using terms of endearment helped keep Stiles from panicking, "did you forget got take your meds?"
"What?" Chris asked.
"Chris," Derek said quietly, "shut up." He gave his attention back to Stiles, "Stiles?"
Stiles' brow furrowed, "I-I-I don't." He let out a whine.
"It's okay, baby." Derek said, wrapping his arms around Stiles, "Whatever is going on, it's okay." He glanced at Chris, "We will be going now. I'm sorry that we didn't actually get any of the problems between us solved. But something came up."
Chris got up and walked them to the door, "I heard that Stiles was," he paused, not sure how to continue, "like this."
Derek's eyes narrowed, "You will not hold it against him."
Chris shook his head, "I won't."
Holding Stiles close to him, he said, "We will reschedule this meeting later." With a quick nod, he left the Argent house and took Stiles' home. He watched Stiles while his episode lasted. It was the least severe attack he'd seen yet. It was almost relaxing, watching Stiles that day. Derek stayed calm, which helped a lot, and mostly they sat on the sofa with Stiles in Derek's arms, feeling safe. He had gotten
Stiles to take some of his medication when they got back, so that had helped.
"I'm sorry." Stiles said, smelling like himself again.
"It's not your fault." Derek said.
"I ruined the meeting." Stiles rested his head on Derek's shoulder.
"It's not your fault." Derek repeated himself.
Stiles paused for a second, "I think we should tell my father."
Derek looked at him, "John knows about werewolves." He was worried that maybe the episode wasn't over.
Stiles rolled his eyes, "I know that, I was saying about us. It's only time until he confronts me about it." He sighed, "Most of the town knows and Chris has to know now, and he and dad are like drinking buddies or something so we need to sit down and actually let me dad know."
Derek nodded. "If you think that's best."
Which was how Derek found himself sitting next to Stiles and John at the kitchen table later that evening.
"Dad, we have something we want to tell you." Stiles said, tapping out a nervous tune.
"You're not a werewolf too, right?" John said, looking from Stiles to Derek and back again, "Because I thought we agreed that would be a BAD idea."
Stiles nodded, "In capslock. But I'm not a werewolf." He took a breath and then spoke quickly, "Derek and I are dating."
John blinked, "Did you say that Derek and you were mating? As in mates? Because I've read about that and I'd be okay if you two did the mating ritual already but you're still young, Stiles and I don't want you feel like you're trapped in a relationship."
"Dating, dad." Stiles said, face red, "We aren't official mates yet."
"He won't let us." Derek said, "Because he's afraid I'd leave him."
"I have never told you that!" Stiles glared at Derek.
Derek eyed him, "I don't need to be told that, Stiles. I know you."
Stiles grumbled something as John took it all in, "Okay, so. I would have prefered if you had asked to date before actually dating because it is officially illegal in the US-" he held up his hand, stopping the protests, "-I am okay with it. I trust Derek and I trust you, Stiles." He paused, "There will be some rules, now. And I need to make sure Derek knows what to do when you have an episode."
"I know what to do." Derek said, "He had one earlier today."
John froze, this was news to him, "Did he?"
"Yes, but it wasn't a severe one." Derek said.
Stiles cleared his throat, "Since we've started dating I haven't been having as many episodes. Dr. Christy says Derek is like an Anchor to me."
John rose an eyebrow, "Dr. Christy found out about you dating before I did?"
"She doesn't know that I'm actually dating. I just said that after meeting this one guy I'm not freaking out as much." he shrugged. "Which is true."
John nodded, "Okay then." He leaned back in his chair, "Thanks for telling me boys." He smiled at them.
Stiles nodded, "Wanted to make sure you heard from us before anyone else told you. Derek doesn't hide the fact that he's a fan of PDAs."
John laughed, "Somehow I don't doubt that." Getting up, he nodded to them and as he walked around the table to go get ready for bed, he patted them both on the shoulder, "Goodnight boys."
Once John was gone, Stiles slumped, "That went well."
"I didn't think it wouldn't." Derek said, "He only wants what is best for you."
Stiles grinned, "And you're what is best for me?"
"Yes." Derek had a wolfish smirk on. "I'm your Anchor, after all."
"Shut up." Stiles rolled his eyes.
Derek leaned in and kissed him, "You'll have to tell me when you want to become mates. I'll wait patiently until you realize."
"Realize how awesome I am?" Stiles tried.
"That I'm not leaving."
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: angst, humor, hurt/comfort, Derek/Stiles
Spoilers: all of season one
Warnings: some self-harm, also Stiles is crazy
Word Count: For this part: 7,419, for whole fic: 10723
Summary: Some people would say that Stiles was crazy or insane; however, Stiles would say that he was simply unstable, but otherwise a good guy.
Disclaimer: Standard still applies.
A/N: So, there are some fanart and a fanmix in the works for this story. As well as other stories (I'm hoping I get to make this into a series). You can see the fanart and fanmix on my AO3 account. But here is part two, it's longer than part one. But I hope you enjoy it.
PART ONE
PART TWO
"Stiles." John said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder, "You're having an episode."
"No." Stiles said, rolling his eyes, "I'm not. I know why you think I am, I mean, I thought I was at first too. When it first started happening, but dude. Werewolves. They're real."
John shook his head and grabbed both of Stiles' hands in his. He was glad to see that Stiles' hand had healed from punching the mirror. He was lucky that there weren't any scars. "Son, werewolves aren't real. You're hallucinating."
Stiles sighed, "I should've known that you'd think this. Because it makes more sense that they aren't real. But dad, Scott is a legit werewolf. And so is Derek and Jackson and Lydia and Danny is thinking of getting the bite and I don't want the bite because that would a BAD idea. Capslock on 'bad' incase you didn't hear it."
"I heard it." John said. "And I agree, you being a werewolf is a BAD idea, but it's not ever going to happen as they aren't real."
"I need you to know that they are, though." Stiles said, not trying to take his hands from his father's, "Because it would be a good idea if the Sheriff knew. Make things easier in case something goes south again."
"Again?"
"Yeah, well." Stiles paused for a second, taking a deep breath before continuing at a fast pace, "Those weren't mountain lion or Kate Argent I mean some of it was Kate because she's the one who burnt down the Hale house and that blows, you know? Anyway, because of the fire, Peter Hale had gone batshit in a different way than me, and like, started wolfing out and killing people. He also bit Scott that one time when I lied and said it was just me in the woods. Scott was with me. And I left him out there. To get bit. It happens. But after that Scott and I teamed up with Derek to defeat Peter like some really crappy superheroes. The kind that are underdogs but you root for. That's us."
John's eyebrows were raised, "No, son. Peter Hale didn't-"
"He did so." Stiles said. "I can show you! Well, not show you Peter, but I can get Scott or Derek over here to show you that they are werewolves." He paused, "The Pack knows that I'm telling you this. And we all agreed that they shouldn't be around when I told you unless you went into a protective fit and said that I can't hang out with them. Which wouldn't work as I am Pack too. Human still. Because BAD."
John sighed and nodded. If Stiles got Scott to come over he would have someone else to help Stiles see that he was hallucinating. "Okay, call Scott."
It didn't take long for Scott to show up, and once he was inside, he acted almost shy. Which could be because on the phone Stiles told him, "You need to get over here and show yourself off because he isn't believing me." And he could probably tell that Stiles was having an episode.
"So," Stiles said, ushering Scott to the middle of the kitchen, "Dad needs to see you wolf out because he thinks I'm hallucinating."
Scott nodded, "Mr. Stilinski. Stiles is telling the truth."
John's eyes narrowed, "Scott. You know we aren't supposed to encourage him when he's like this."
"But I'm not." Scott said, throwing his arms up in the air. "I'm a werewolf." When it looked like John was going to say something else, Stiles cut in, "Just show him!"
Scott sighed and then he breathed deep for a second. He glanced once at Stiles before he started to change. His hair grew, his eyes slanted and glowed an amber, teeth growing and claws appearing.
"Holy shit."
"I told you!" Stiles said, waving at Scott, "Werewolves."
"Can I turn back now?" Scott asked, voice slightly different due to the teeth.
"Sure." Stiles shrugged. "So, yeah. We're sharing this secret with you," he said to his dad, "because, as I said, if some shit goes down again, you'll be our side!"
"Unless you're the ones who did the crime." John wasn't taking his eyes off Scott even though he looked human once more.
"Yeah, 'course." Stiles rolled his eyes, "But that's not going to happen. Because of reasons." He looked at Scott and then his father, "Scott, I hate to get you here just to show off and leave, but I think Dad might be more comfortable if you weren't here." He paused, "Let him get used to the idea?"
Scott nodded, "Right. Okay then. See you in school tomorrow."
John watched Scott walk out and as soon as he couldn't see him, his eyes flew to Stiles. "Werewolves are real." He said slowly.
"Yep." Stiles said, "As are hunters. Which is what the Argents are. But they only hunt those that are rogue."
"Like Peter Hale."
"Like Peter Hale." Stiles agreed. "But not our Pack."
"Right." John stood up, "I think I need a drink."
After that, John got information about of Stiles and then he went to the Argents to hear about the hunters side of things. For a while, he stared at any of the werewolves when they were around, but it didn't take long for him to accept that werewolves were in town and that his son was part of their Pack. He wasn't sure if he liked that Stiles hung out with a bunch of werewolves that had a chance to go feral, but John saw how they accepted him. To him, it didn't matter that they were werewolves so long as they continued to accept his son.
Even during the full moon.
Nowadays it wasn't uncommon for Stiles to wait inside the Hale home while the wolves went out during a full moon and ran in the Hale woods. Stiles would clean, maybe make a few repairs on the home and make them a breakfast for when they came back in the early morning hours.
It was comforting to the Pack. Every so often Danny joined Stiles, as he was still debating if he wanted to be a werewolf or not. Allison was never allowed near the Pack during a full moon. Which was a fact that didn't surprise anyone.
But what did cause a surprise was that when they were near the house, they could smell it. That aroma that each member of the Pack associated with Stiles having an episode. But under that scent was something more frightening. The stench of fresh blood.
Without glancing at each other, the werewolves started running to the house. No longer a relaxed stroll, no more playful nudges, no joking or laughter.
Derek was in the front of the group, and he pushed his door open so hard that the door handle lodged itself into the wall. He looked around quickly, listening and smelling, wanting to find Stiles as soon as he could. Scott was right behind him, knowing were Stiles was before Derek. "Kitchen."
This time Scott lead the group to Stiles.
Stiles.
Who was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, back against the wall. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his was whimpering, eyes darting back and forth, as if looking for whatever was hurting him. Derek's eyes narrowed when he saw where the smell of blood was coming from.
Because it was Stiles.
Stiles was the one hurting himself.
His hands were tugging at his ears, as if he was trying to make it so that he didn't hear whatever he was listening to. His nails had dug into the sensitive skin behind his ears. There was blood soaking into the collar of his tee shirt.
Scott was in front of Stiles, "Stiles?" He put a hand on one of Stiles' wrists. "Hey Stiles." His voice was soft.
Stiles' eyes weren't focused. And he was muttering protests under his breath. His hand twisted, wrist falling out of Scott's grip as he pulled at his ears. He was shaking some as he did so and Scott reached out again, getting a hold of Stiles' hand and started to pull it down.
Stiles' protests grew a touch louder and he started backing away from Scott, getting closer to the wall.
Scott bit his lip, he'd never seen Stiles like this. Scott took both of Stiles' hands in his, "It's okay Stiles. Whatever is going on, it's okay."
Stiles' hands slipped out of Scott's grasp, the little bit of blood making it slide. Derek was now crouched besides Scott. "You need to hold his forearms." Derek said as he did as he had just instructed. "Stiles, you need to snap out of this."
Scott shot him a look, "Do you really think he can magically snap out of his episodes? It doesn't work like that. I know you've never seen him in an episode, but-"
"I have." Derek said.
"What?" Scott glanced at Derek for a second before looking back at Stiles.
"I've seen him have an episode." Derek said before directing his attention back to Stiles, "Stiles."
Stiles' arms twitched in Derek's grasp, clearly wanting freedom. When Stiles couldn't shut the voices out with his hands over his ears anymore, he started to hit his head against the wall.
"Shit." Derek said. When Scott went to reach out and stop Stiles, Derek continued, "Don't. He is pulling hard against me with his arms and if you immobilize his head he might strain his neck."
Scott froze, clearly not sure what to do, but wanting Stiles to stop hurting himself.
Before Scott could figure out how to help, Jackson was there beside them with a pillow, "I got this from your bed." He told Derek, holding the pillow out.
Scott grabbed it and put it behind Stiles' head. At least now he had a cushion to help stop the damage. Jackson went to sit on the floor, away from Stiles. He and Lydia stayed back, not wanting to crowd Stiles even though he wasn't paying attention to anything around him.
"Is there someone we should call?" Lydia suggested, worry tilting her voice.
Scott nodded, "I don't think we can help him right now." He stood up, "I'm going to call his dad."
It wasn't long after the phone call that John came running into the house. "Stiles?"
Scott appeared then, "He's in the kitchen. And it's bad." He lead the sheriff to Stiles, who was still banging his head, only now both of Derek's pillows were there to soften the blow. Derek hadn't let go to Stiles' hands which were still fighting him.
John walked briskly to his son, "Stiles?" He knew he wouldn't get an answer. If it had been as simple as saying his name, John knew that he wouldn't have gotten a phone call from Scott, telling him to "come to Derek's house because it's Stiles." John wasn't amused that Scott didn't even tell him what was going on with Stiles.
John knew that Stiles had joined the Pack on a full moon and for all he knew Stiles got an injury from a werewolf. He didn't know that it was about his illness. But he was right, Stiles did have an injury, if the blood was any indication. Speaking quietly, he said, "They've changed his meds."
He tried to get Stiles to stop, but he knew before he started that whatever Stiles was hearing held him in its grasp. And it didn't seem like he was hearing anything pleasant. "His heart beat?" he asked, Derek.
"Too fast." Derek replied. "And I'm sorry, he might have bruises on his arms from me later."
John put a hand on Derek's shoulder, "It's okay, son. I know you wouldn't deliberately hurt him." He paused, "I have some sedatives in my car, I'll be right back."
He had sedatives for a few reasons, one of them was that Stiles sometimes needed them. It didn't happen often, and it happened less than it used to. John never liked having to use the sedatives on his son. But sometimes it was better than an alternative. Like this time.
After administering the sedatives they watched as Stiles slowly stopped banging his head and closed his eyes, his breathing evened out. John turned to the teens, "You all should go home. Derek and I can handle this from here."
Lydia and Jackson nodded before leaving, but Scott didn't move. "Why can't I stay? I should be there for when he wakes up."
"Scott." John said, hands on his hips, "Your mom will be off work soon and she does check in on you before she goes to bed. And she doesn't know about werewolves." He raised an eyebrow, "So unless you want to tell her that sometimes, you get so hairy that no amount of shaving would help…"
Scott ducked his head, "Have him call me?"
"Will do." John said. Once Scott was gone, he turned to Derek, "I'm afraid I have to ask a favor of you."
Derek had been watching Stiles while John and Scott talked, but when John spoke to him, he looked at John.
"I can make it work if you say no, I'd just have to make some phone calls, but I'm supposed to be working in a few hours and I'm pulling a double. Someone should be there for when Stiles wakes up." He held up his hand, "I know Scott would have agreed, but he has school tomorrow and I won't ask for him to skip it. Stiles shouldn't go to school tomorrow." He took a breath, "Son, what I'm trying to ask is if you'll let Stiles stay here and that you'll take time out of your schedule to watch over him."
Derek blinked, "You'd trust me to do that?"
A slight smile found John's face, "I said earlier that I know you wouldn't hurt him. To me, that's another way to say that I trust you."
Derek nodded slowly, "Yes. I'll watch out for Stiles."
"I know you will, Derek." John helped Derek get Stiles up in Derek's bed and John filled Derek in what Stiles might be like when he woke up. Saying that he should be out of his episode, but told him that if Derek needed any help to call.
In the morning, Stiles knew that something bad had happened. It had to have. Either he had been kidnapped and drugged by some other pack or supernatural creatures or he had a bad episode. A really bad one. Super bad.
Stiles hated, he really hated that he know what it feels like to wake up after being sedated. That isn't something most teenagers know the feeling of. And he hated that he knows it. It bothered him, sometimes. Knowing that his life is a complete mess - and that was before he knew about werewolves. His dad had been worried about Stiles getting his own license to drive because what if he had an episode while driving? He hated that he has to think about what would happen if he did have an episode while driving.
He sighed and breathed deep. It smelt like Derek, which was odd. Having not opened his eyes yet, he nuzzled into the blankets and pillows only to let out a whimper of pain. Why did his head hurt? It was migraine level, and then the area behind his ears hurt like crazy. Reaching up, he felt some bandages and okay, so something happened with blood. Pulling his hand back down, Stiles cracked open his eyes and happened to spot some massive bruising on his arms.
Lovely.
What had happened?
"What happened?" He figured someone was with him, probably not his dad since Stiles was not in his bed. He thought it would be Derek because the bed sure smelt like Derek.
"You had an episode." Derek said.
Stiles turned towards the voice, "Yeah, I figured as much."
Derek cleared his throat, "Your dad had to sedate you."
"Yeah, I figured that too dude." Stiles said, "Listen. I know you don't have much here but do you like, have some headache medicine? I can take Advil. Got any of that?"
"Your father dropped off a bunch of pills last night for you. I can see if he left any Advil." Derek said as he walked out of the room.
Stiles was starting to remember parts of the episode. He didn't always remember what he did during the attacks, but sometimes he remembers bits and pieces. He always knew how he had felt though, even if he doesn't know what happened. He still has those left over feelings. He felt like his body was weighed down with guilt, self-hatred, fear, and worthlessness. Not just those heavy blankets from the bed weighing him down.
Which, how many blankets did Derek think he needed anyway?
He was hot.
Kicking his feet, Stiles shoved the blankets down, the reached down and pulled only one up. He didn't need so many, but he wanted something. Closing his eyes he was trying to stop the pounding in his head when he heard a sudden clatter. Making a face of distress he looked up to see a guilty looking Derek standing over a pile of pill bottles on his bedside table.
"I brought your pills." Derek said, quickly sitting down in a chair.
"I can tell." Stiles sat up slowly. "Why does my head hurt so much?"
"You were banging your head against the wall." Derek stated.
"Right." Stiles sighed and looked at all the bottles. He cheered mentally when he saw an Advil bottle. Grabbing a handful of Advil and all his medication, he dry swallowed them with ease. "And my ears?"
"You were trying to rip them off." Derek was staring intensely at Stiles now.
"And so the bruises on my arms are from someone holding them back from actually completely the job." Stiles laid back down.
"They're from me." Derek said. And Stiles could swear he heard some sort of emotion in Derek's voice. Which is odd because the only emotions he is used to hearing is anger and annoyance. But this sounded like he was blaming himself.
"Good God, you're not blaming yourself are you?" The silence Stiles heard was enough of an answer. "How can you be blaming yourself in any way? You didn't cause the episode-"
"I thought I might have." Derek said quietly.
"What?" Stiles was confused.
"I thought that maybe you saw me was a wolf and it caused another attack." Derek answered.
"Dude, no." Stiles figured this would turn into a conversation, so he propped himself up on some pillows. "Why would you think that? I, yes, okay, I understand that last time you saw me freak out, it was because I saw you in wolf form with red eyes and junk and legit thought that Peter was back. But this one wasn't because of that. I don't know what started it, but they've been messing with my intake of meds and it sucks whenever they do that. It's totally my doctor's fault. Don't blame yourself, Derek."
"But I hurt you." Derek growled.
"You probably saved me from doing damage of my ears. Like, I don't do self-harming episodes often, but they can be, well. Bad. Like, I can cause real damage to myself. So what if I have some bruises on my arms? It's better than what could have happened."
They sat in silence for awhile. And once Stiles was almost asleep, Derek spoke up, "You were afraid."
"Yeah, man." Stiles agreed, "I didn't like what I was hearing."
There was a pause before Derek said, "Do you remember what-" cutting himself off with a growl, he added, "Nevermind."
Stiles rolled his eyes, "I heard voices telling me some rather hurtful things." He shrugged, it wasn't anything new. When people found out he heard voices they often got panicked, worried that they told him to hurt people. But the voices never told him to harm anyone, not even himself. The just preyed on his insecurities and fed on them.
He looked over at Derek and saw that he looked a bit upset. "Aw, dude. It was hurtful things about me, not about you. No reason to look like someone stepped on your tail." If anything, he looked even more upset. "What?"
"I don't like that you had to hear those things." Derek said.
"It's not like I could stop them." Stile replied. "Not a big deal."
Derek was abruptly in his space, leaning over him, "What did you hear?"
"Dude, it'd be really mean to use it against me if I told you." Stiles said, "Because that leads to even worse self-esteem problems- Okay, enough with the sudden growling."
"What. Did. You. Hear."
Stiles shrugged, "Y'know. About how I'm not actually part of the pack since I'm just a human, and like, you'll all just waiting for a time to drop my sorry, insane ass. And how I'll never find anyone to actually have a relationship because I'm crazy as shit and how it's my fault my mom died because I was in the car with her and maybe it was my fault for the wreck even though I know it's not because the dude who hit us just didn't see us and that sucks and it's my fault my dad works so much because I'm so expensive with my medication and doctors and my dad doesn't actually love me because how can anyone love me? Scott is my only friend and that's because he's honestly not the brightest crayon in the box and doesn't know that he shouldn't befriend the crazy ones and other things of that nature."
Derek looked pained, sitting down on the bed next to Stiles he opened his mouth a few times before saying, "You don't actually believe that do you?" His voice sounded a bit hollow.
Stiles shrugged, "I don't really have much evidence to support otherwise."
"Stiles," Derek said, voice breaking over his name, "your illness doesn't define you."
"I beg to differ." Stiles said, "You don't realize how much of my life revolves around it."
Derek sighed, "Would you say that 'werewolf' is the best definition of any one in the Pack?"
"No. I mean, they have so many other things going on that the whole werewolf thing isn't too huge of a deal. Okay, with you it is because like, you don't do much else besides walk around in a burnt out home that is slowly being rebuilt but still." He shrugged.
"Then why would your illness be the only thing important about you if our illness," and he didn't seem happy describing theirs as an illness, "isn't?"
"Because it doesn't rule your life." Stiles said, "You can still be normal. I can't. Man, I'm broken and no one can love something that is broken."
"You're not broken, Stiles." Derek said, getting closer.
"Am too." Stiles protested childishly.
Derek let out a long suffering sigh. "I was going to wait to suggest this until later. After you'd recovered from your episode more." He paused and then narrowed his eyes. "I want to go out with you."
"Like to the grocery store?" Stiles asked, voice shaking.
"I was thinking movies, restaurant, that sort of thing." Derek said, not breaking eye contact.
Stiles blinked, "Dating? You want to date me?" His mouth gaped, "But why?"
"I think we could be mates." Derek said.
"You're kidding." Stiles replied, and when Derek just continued to stare at him silently, he said, "You're not kidding. But like, man." He sighed, "I've read about werewolf mates. There is that weird ritual, bite thing-"
"You make it sound like a cult." Derek frowned.
"-and then we'd be mates for life. Like, it's more permanent than marriage because of divorce. And you really don't actually think you'd want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life." Derek just continued to stare at him, "Or you do think you'd want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life. Oh my God. You're not kidding, you really want to date me. Dude this is huge, this is-"
Derek quick leaned in and shut him up with a kiss.
Stiles was surprised that dating Derek was so effortless. He'd never thought that dating Derek would be uncomplicated, but it was. They hadn't told anyone, but Stiles was sure that most of the Pack noticed. It didn't really bother him, that they knew. But he hadn't told his father yet. He wanted to make sure that the relationship would last before telling his dad. Because if Derek came to his senses and dumped Stiles, breaking his heart, John would kill Derek. And Stiles didn't want that to happen, and he still had his doubts that they would last, that Derek would want Stiles to be his mate.
But either from dating Derek and having a stable relationship, Dr. Christy always talked about this having an Anchor to help stable him (Stiles thought that was a load of crap, but whatever), or from his adjusted meds, he was having less episodes. And when he did have episodes, they weren't as severe.
But they started going on dates. Actual dates. Derek voluntarily let himself be seen in public with Stiles. Derek surprised Stiles in that he acted like they were dating. He held Stiles' hand, kissed him out in the open and glared at those who made disgusted faces at them. Stiles was surprised that his father never said they needed to talk about the fact that was dating Derek. Either no one had mentioned it to him or he already knew and was waiting for Stiles to tell him.
Derek was actually big on the PDA.
Probably because it was some werewolf way to mark his territory.
And that idea frightened Stiles, because it meant that Derek would want to be with him for a while, might want to become mates. And Stiles, okay, Stiles loves Derek. He's not afraid to admit it. But he just can't see why anyone would want to spend the rest of their life with him. Stiles is loveable in a puppy kind of way. Yes, he's adorable and funny, but you can't make a stable and long lasting relationship with puppy love.
"I'm like a puppy." Stiles said as he and Derek drove to one of the restaurants the frequented.
Derek looked at him, eyebrows raised. After shaking his head, he went back to looking at the road.
"I'm serious." Stiles said, not wanting to explain himself because Derek didn't like it when Stiles voiced at how he doubted Derek's feelings for him. He was going to change the topic so that Derek didn't ask him to explain when Derek's car made a noise and then rolled to a stop. Derek stared at his steering wheel in confusion and Stiles was surprised that the topic would change all on it's own.
"Well that is a surprise." Stiles said. "I mean, I never thought that your car would do this to us which is one of the reasons we always use it, dude. The other reason is that you have the need to speed and so you force me into your car even though it's like, super scary how you drive-"
"Stiles." Derek said, "Shut up."
"Will do." Stiles said, closing his mouth. Then adding, "I mean, I'll try. But man, what is up with your car. And I'm hungry. And we're pretty far away from civilization."
Derek growled and got out the car, slamming the door.
"Okay then." Stiles said, grinning to himself as he followed suit. Only without the slamming.
The hood was open and Derek had taken off his shirt. Probably because he didn't want to get oil on it, but also probably because he seemed to have an allergy to shirts. Not that Stiles complained seeing his boyfriend shirtless. "I didn't know you knew about cars."
Derek sighed and looked at him sideways, "I don't."
Stiles laughed, "Then why are you bothering?"
Derek shrugged and stood up. Closing the hood, he put his shirt over his shoulder. Because apparently he was going to be shirtless for a bit longer. Awesome.
"Derek." Stiles said, dragging his name out, "I'm hungry."
"I don't have any food, you'll just have to wait." Derek said, searching his pockets for his cell phone. "I don't have my phone."
Stiles pulled his out, "No service. Of course." He paused for a second before quickly getting into the passenger side of the car. He was laying on the seat, his feet dangling out the door.
"Stiles," Derek let out a long suffering sigh, "What are you doing?"
"Food." Stiles said.
"I don't have food in the car. It's not like I planned this. There isn't a picnic basket in there." Derek said, frowning.
"No," Stiles agreed, "But I have stashed some snacks in your glove compartment."
"What." Derek growled.
Stiles face appeared, "Yeah, then I put car freshener in there too, hoping you wouldn't smell the food and eat it." He grinned, "So it worked? Score." He got out of the car then with his hands full of candy, little cakes, and chips. "See? I plan ahead."
Derek didn't look impressed.
"Smile dude." Stiles said, walking into the forest, "Let's find a clearing by a shade tree and have a romantic and spontaneous picnic because as soon as you said 'picnic' I realized that was exactly what needed to happen right now."
It didn't take long for them to find a flat clearing under a tree. Stiles dropped the food and then sat down. Looking up at Derek, who was still standing, he said, "Join me Derek. You can commune with nature while you eat, like a good werewolf."
"What?" Derek asked, sitting down next to Stiles.
"I don't know, dude. But we're having our first picnic as a couple. This is a big step, legit." Stiles grinned and started dividing the food.
"We have nothing to drink, Stiles." Derek said, frowning at all the pile of junk food in front of him.
Stiles shrugged, "If one of us gets thirsty we can swap spit." He waggled his eyebrows but stopped at Derek's blank look, "Or not. Why are you against making out at our picnic? That's a bit rude."
Derek sighed and opened up a bag of chips. "Are there any meds you need to take with your lunch?"
"Yep." Stiles nodded, "But I've got them with me, no worries." He smiled as he stuffed his face with a chocolate cookie.
Derek rolled his eyes but started to eat. It was oddly peaceful and quiet, if you ignored how loud Stiles ate. But then he didn't do anything silently. If Stiles would be silent for over five minutes Derek would probably panic with worry as to what was wrong with the teen. Not that he would change any of that.
"We're so lucky that I had stashed that food in your car." Stiles said.
Derek paused and looked at him, "Why did you stash food in my car?"
Stiles shrugged, "I like to be prepared. Learned that from my days as a Boy Scout."
"You were a Boy Scout?" Derek asked.
"No." Stiles laughed, "But I read the handbook because Scott was. But I would've been a kick ass Boy Scout. I'd have all the badges. Were you in the Boy Scouts? Werewolf Scouts?"
"No." Derek said, finishing off the bag of chips. Letting out what could be a content sigh if he was anyone besides Derek Hale, he laid down in the grass with his shirt as a pillow.
Stiles grinned and then laid with his head resting on Derek's stomach, "Dude, Derek, we should have picnics more often."
"If this is going to be a regular thing," Derek said, "we're going to have to pack better. Remember drinks and actual food."
Stiles turned his head so that he was seeing Derek's chin. "If you're thirsty we can swap spit. Like I suggested." Derek snorted. "And this can totally become a thing we do. Just us. Not the Pack, unless you want the Pack to go on picnics but I think that they're rather special now, just for us." They talked a bit and ate some more of the junk food. After taking a short nap, Stiles woke Derek up, "Derek?"
"Hmm?" Derek asked sleepily.
"If I have no cell service and you have no cell and your car doesn't work, how are we going to get home?" Stiles only had enough of his meds for the rest of the day. It's not like he carries his pill bottles around with him.
"Someone will be along." Derek said.
Which was true, it wasn't long after they walked back to the car that Chris Argent slowed down next to them. "Having trouble?" Stiles could tell that he was having trouble not laughing at them. In the end, they got in the car with him and while that was awkward, it also made it so that Derek and Chris could set a time to meet and discuss the Hunter and Pack Truce. The Truce wasn't all that stable, and everyone knew that if it got more concrete that they'd breathe a bit easier.
Only it was also agreed that Stiles would come to the meeting too, so that he could make sure Derek and Chris wouldn't kill one another because he kept them from each other's throats when they were in the same car.
The meeting was a few days later, and Stiles had been a hurry, quickly showering and running out the door with a quick "Later" to his dad as he jumped in Derek's car, which was now fixed. "So, I was thinking, y'know, after this meeting you and I could go on a date and it'd be magical." His knee bounced quickly in the car, "Yeah?"
"Sure." Derek agreed. He listened to Stiles ramble on the ride to the Argent's house. Derek ushered Stiles inside the house and had him sit next to him on the sofa. As soon as the meeting started, Stiles quieted, for which Derek was thankful. Chris wouldn't hurt Stiles, he knew that, but he knew that Stiles could also be hard to handle and though Chris has always respected Stiles so far, that could change as soon as Stiles let it slip that he was having sex with Derek. Chris probably wouldn't approve of that, not at all.
But Derek wouldn't be surprised if Chris had an idea of their relationship, and he wouldn't be surprised if Chris cornered Stiles soon and had a 'talk' to him. It helped that John knew about werewolves, Chris would probably feel that John could do the 'talk' with Stiles. Derek knew that John and Chris were friendly and got together once in awhile. It didn't worry him too much. If something did happen, with someone from his Pack or from a rival pack, it would be better if the sheriff could handle it himself.
"-your Pack had better-"
Derek tuned Chris out as he turned his head sharply at Stiles. Derek could smell it again. There was no sign of it, Stiles smelt like he usually did and then in the next breath, he was having an episode. It wasn't apparent, Christ probably had no idea. Stiles was sitting still, which should have tipped Derek off that something was going to happen, and he was staring off at the wall.
Derek got down on one knee in front of Stiles, cutting Chris off in his sentence. "Derek, what are you doing?" Chris asked.
Ignoring him, Derek saw that Stiles' eyes were glazed over and he probably didn't even see Derek in front of him. Cupping Stiles' cheek in his hand, he hoped to get his attention from whatever he was seeing. "Baby," Derek started, having found out from previous episodes that using terms of endearment helped keep Stiles from panicking, "did you forget got take your meds?"
"What?" Chris asked.
"Chris," Derek said quietly, "shut up." He gave his attention back to Stiles, "Stiles?"
Stiles' brow furrowed, "I-I-I don't." He let out a whine.
"It's okay, baby." Derek said, wrapping his arms around Stiles, "Whatever is going on, it's okay." He glanced at Chris, "We will be going now. I'm sorry that we didn't actually get any of the problems between us solved. But something came up."
Chris got up and walked them to the door, "I heard that Stiles was," he paused, not sure how to continue, "like this."
Derek's eyes narrowed, "You will not hold it against him."
Chris shook his head, "I won't."
Holding Stiles close to him, he said, "We will reschedule this meeting later." With a quick nod, he left the Argent house and took Stiles' home. He watched Stiles while his episode lasted. It was the least severe attack he'd seen yet. It was almost relaxing, watching Stiles that day. Derek stayed calm, which helped a lot, and mostly they sat on the sofa with Stiles in Derek's arms, feeling safe. He had gotten
Stiles to take some of his medication when they got back, so that had helped.
"I'm sorry." Stiles said, smelling like himself again.
"It's not your fault." Derek said.
"I ruined the meeting." Stiles rested his head on Derek's shoulder.
"It's not your fault." Derek repeated himself.
Stiles paused for a second, "I think we should tell my father."
Derek looked at him, "John knows about werewolves." He was worried that maybe the episode wasn't over.
Stiles rolled his eyes, "I know that, I was saying about us. It's only time until he confronts me about it." He sighed, "Most of the town knows and Chris has to know now, and he and dad are like drinking buddies or something so we need to sit down and actually let me dad know."
Derek nodded. "If you think that's best."
Which was how Derek found himself sitting next to Stiles and John at the kitchen table later that evening.
"Dad, we have something we want to tell you." Stiles said, tapping out a nervous tune.
"You're not a werewolf too, right?" John said, looking from Stiles to Derek and back again, "Because I thought we agreed that would be a BAD idea."
Stiles nodded, "In capslock. But I'm not a werewolf." He took a breath and then spoke quickly, "Derek and I are dating."
John blinked, "Did you say that Derek and you were mating? As in mates? Because I've read about that and I'd be okay if you two did the mating ritual already but you're still young, Stiles and I don't want you feel like you're trapped in a relationship."
"Dating, dad." Stiles said, face red, "We aren't official mates yet."
"He won't let us." Derek said, "Because he's afraid I'd leave him."
"I have never told you that!" Stiles glared at Derek.
Derek eyed him, "I don't need to be told that, Stiles. I know you."
Stiles grumbled something as John took it all in, "Okay, so. I would have prefered if you had asked to date before actually dating because it is officially illegal in the US-" he held up his hand, stopping the protests, "-I am okay with it. I trust Derek and I trust you, Stiles." He paused, "There will be some rules, now. And I need to make sure Derek knows what to do when you have an episode."
"I know what to do." Derek said, "He had one earlier today."
John froze, this was news to him, "Did he?"
"Yes, but it wasn't a severe one." Derek said.
Stiles cleared his throat, "Since we've started dating I haven't been having as many episodes. Dr. Christy says Derek is like an Anchor to me."
John rose an eyebrow, "Dr. Christy found out about you dating before I did?"
"She doesn't know that I'm actually dating. I just said that after meeting this one guy I'm not freaking out as much." he shrugged. "Which is true."
John nodded, "Okay then." He leaned back in his chair, "Thanks for telling me boys." He smiled at them.
Stiles nodded, "Wanted to make sure you heard from us before anyone else told you. Derek doesn't hide the fact that he's a fan of PDAs."
John laughed, "Somehow I don't doubt that." Getting up, he nodded to them and as he walked around the table to go get ready for bed, he patted them both on the shoulder, "Goodnight boys."
Once John was gone, Stiles slumped, "That went well."
"I didn't think it wouldn't." Derek said, "He only wants what is best for you."
Stiles grinned, "And you're what is best for me?"
"Yes." Derek had a wolfish smirk on. "I'm your Anchor, after all."
"Shut up." Stiles rolled his eyes.
Derek leaned in and kissed him, "You'll have to tell me when you want to become mates. I'll wait patiently until you realize."
"Realize how awesome I am?" Stiles tried.
"That I'm not leaving."