life is a circle...

[onthewildernet]

so anyways...it turns out the relationship i was sorta getting into is put on hold....or off...or who knows...i mean...we talked...we had a few laughs...we made out a couple of times...right now just isnt the right time in my life for that...i guess...whats really weird is that it took me getting all involved to realize that i never want, or have, or need to get involved in this kind of relationship again...for a while there i really wondered if thats what i really wanted...even needed...it turns out that by falling in, and back out again, ive come to realize certain very important aspects of my sexuality...and its just funny because these are things that come easily to most people, you know, in an instant...most people never think twice about it...but for me...its been a really long time and spiritually tasking and painful in coming....this is what i figure; if it dosent work this way with somone like this...somone so B-E-A uitiful as this...somone so successfull...so influential...so powerful...wonderful....perfect in almost every way...than it wont work like this with anyone like that...and its strange to think that all it really took was trying to find out...and i did....i mean seriously it couldve been great...beyond great...like....i cant even say theres not even a word for it...but somthing inside both of us said we werent ready...it just wasnt right...personally, i dont know...i think really that it wont ever be.....i felt it deep inside...in the eyes of the world this relationship wouldve been wonderful...but to us...me especially it just wasnt right...deep in my heart, i knew...and i think this person did too...some might say its not the right time...who really knows??....id love to elaborate more....i cant see the future though...oh well...at least were still friends...and i, myself, did ineffectually come to a great great great personal realization,............. one that i really have been needing to for a long long time...so i can be happy with that...you know?? thats great for me...it lifts a burden ive carried for way too long now...so im happy...i feel refreshed...i know what i want to do now....so ill just go do it!!and it feels great!!

bye world!!
love love love love love love love love!!!
naters