(no subject)
Finished it yesterday, posting now.
LONG STORY SHORT: Abel loves Shigure.
SHORT STORY LONG: Abel loves Shigure. It's pretty much a nonissue for him--it doesn't FREAK HIM THE HELL OUT the way his love for Albert does, though he still would never say it out loud. He's conscious of it, in that he's aware of the fact that Shigure is way high up there on his priorities list, more than other people. Emotionally, Shigure is probably the closest thing he has to family in camp, and around him the underlying contradictions in Abel's personality are less...distinct. LIKE. He's pretty much the person in camp around whom Abel is the absolute most honest with himself, and he's aware of this fact and is sort of bemused by it considering he hasn't forgotten how many times Shigure has emotionally screwed him over. He is ridiculously comfortable with Shigure, and it doesn't FEEL super unusual/extraordinary to him, and it shows in the way they interact and how half their threads end with them lying in the same bed. Shigure offers him a kind of comfort that isn't ordinarily available to him--a relationship without expectations and obligations outside of that which already comes naturally to Abel (protecting him and playing hero). Shigure knows better than most people what Abel does and doesn't have to offer, and that works out well for him.
He's not bitter about Shigure screwing him over anymore--he can't bring himself to be, even if looking at the Lilith doodles still makes him twinge--because he has the upper hand in their relationship now. He's conscious of this, too! And is...also sort of bemused by it! It's less stress for him being completely aware of the fact that Shigure can't...bring himself to put a hell of a lot of effort into crippling him emotionally--this is probably what Abel is taking advantage of the most. He has a WINDOW for TOPPING MERCILESSLY and has considered abusing this privilege at least once, because while Abel is Jesus he also has a healthy sense of humor and irony. Thankfully mostly he uses his powers for good, IE making Shigure feel better about stuff when he can and gently dissuading further attacks on his complexes.
As for the whole platonic versus romantic thing . . . uh. Abel is physically attracted to Shigure, but then Abel is physically attracted to people sometimes and it's nothing really extraordinary. His feelings for Shigure are pretty impressively platonic! I've said before that if circumstances were different, this would be different, particularly if Abel wasn't dedicated to Albert. They have this connection that's...unique for Abel, at least, because the instinct that drives him into emotional hiding around other people has sort of dulled and been driven away. Shigure has seen Abel in moods that not a hell of a lot of other people in camp will EVER see him in1: he's seen Abel the pessimist/cynic/self-deprecating angst whore, he's seen Abel act something like his age, he's seen Abel kill people. So the lines between Abel's different personalities have sort of blurred and this fact lends itself to a weird kind of intimacy between him and Shigure that he's comfortable with and barely questions. And if this leads to a stronger compulsion to get touchy for whatever reason, he's not gonna get too twitchy about it if it's at least partly on his terms (sitting/lying down on the same bed as opposed to Shigure climbing on him and so on).
Mostly I would like to emphasize the ridiculously broad comfort zones, how precariously platonic it all is, and how this relationship has been developing for the better part of a year and no one is any less retarded.
I THINK THAT'S ABOUT IT. Any questions? They shall be addressed!
1BRIEF DIGRESSION: Shigure has seen parts of Abel that he's extremely reluctant to show Albert because in his mind, those aren't the qualities of the man Albert loves. He thinks Albert's been misled, bitten off more than he can chew, and just--Abel has this vision of this idyll relationship, the one he sort of mocked before in a conversation with Shigure, wherein he is a happy, golden, heartwarming character and Albert is an ICE PRINCESS WHO REQUIRES HIS HEALING LIGHT. The sad thing is, he's come really close to honestly wanting this. But he's not that guy, and Albert isn't that other guy; and he thinks Albert needs (or would prefer) that guy but shouldn't have to be that other guy for it. And basically he is a mopey whiner who doesn't know what to do with himself. CRY MOAR.
LONG STORY SHORT: Abel loves Shigure.
SHORT STORY LONG: Abel loves Shigure. It's pretty much a nonissue for him--it doesn't FREAK HIM THE HELL OUT the way his love for Albert does, though he still would never say it out loud. He's conscious of it, in that he's aware of the fact that Shigure is way high up there on his priorities list, more than other people. Emotionally, Shigure is probably the closest thing he has to family in camp, and around him the underlying contradictions in Abel's personality are less...distinct. LIKE. He's pretty much the person in camp around whom Abel is the absolute most honest with himself, and he's aware of this fact and is sort of bemused by it considering he hasn't forgotten how many times Shigure has emotionally screwed him over. He is ridiculously comfortable with Shigure, and it doesn't FEEL super unusual/extraordinary to him, and it shows in the way they interact and how half their threads end with them lying in the same bed. Shigure offers him a kind of comfort that isn't ordinarily available to him--a relationship without expectations and obligations outside of that which already comes naturally to Abel (protecting him and playing hero). Shigure knows better than most people what Abel does and doesn't have to offer, and that works out well for him.
He's not bitter about Shigure screwing him over anymore--he can't bring himself to be, even if looking at the Lilith doodles still makes him twinge--because he has the upper hand in their relationship now. He's conscious of this, too! And is...also sort of bemused by it! It's less stress for him being completely aware of the fact that Shigure can't...bring himself to put a hell of a lot of effort into crippling him emotionally--this is probably what Abel is taking advantage of the most. He has a WINDOW for TOPPING MERCILESSLY and has considered abusing this privilege at least once, because while Abel is Jesus he also has a healthy sense of humor and irony. Thankfully mostly he uses his powers for good, IE making Shigure feel better about stuff when he can and gently dissuading further attacks on his complexes.
As for the whole platonic versus romantic thing . . . uh. Abel is physically attracted to Shigure, but then Abel is physically attracted to people sometimes and it's nothing really extraordinary. His feelings for Shigure are pretty impressively platonic! I've said before that if circumstances were different, this would be different, particularly if Abel wasn't dedicated to Albert. They have this connection that's...unique for Abel, at least, because the instinct that drives him into emotional hiding around other people has sort of dulled and been driven away. Shigure has seen Abel in moods that not a hell of a lot of other people in camp will EVER see him in1: he's seen Abel the pessimist/cynic/self-deprecating angst whore, he's seen Abel act something like his age, he's seen Abel kill people. So the lines between Abel's different personalities have sort of blurred and this fact lends itself to a weird kind of intimacy between him and Shigure that he's comfortable with and barely questions. And if this leads to a stronger compulsion to get touchy for whatever reason, he's not gonna get too twitchy about it if it's at least partly on his terms (sitting/lying down on the same bed as opposed to Shigure climbing on him and so on).
Mostly I would like to emphasize the ridiculously broad comfort zones, how precariously platonic it all is, and how this relationship has been developing for the better part of a year and no one is any less retarded.
I THINK THAT'S ABOUT IT. Any questions? They shall be addressed!
1BRIEF DIGRESSION: Shigure has seen parts of Abel that he's extremely reluctant to show Albert because in his mind, those aren't the qualities of the man Albert loves. He thinks Albert's been misled, bitten off more than he can chew, and just--Abel has this vision of this idyll relationship, the one he sort of mocked before in a conversation with Shigure, wherein he is a happy, golden, heartwarming character and Albert is an ICE PRINCESS WHO REQUIRES HIS HEALING LIGHT. The sad thing is, he's come really close to honestly wanting this. But he's not that guy, and Albert isn't that other guy; and he thinks Albert needs (or would prefer) that guy but shouldn't have to be that other guy for it. And basically he is a mopey whiner who doesn't know what to do with himself. CRY MOAR.