Fic (S/X): Heart of a Slayer (1-2/6)
Author: heavenlyxbodies (formerly Cobalt Mystic)
Title: Heart of a Slayer
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC17
Feedback: Mys has decided that she actually likes FB, so… constructive crit is fine, just be prepared for Mys to defend/explain her choices, and try not to do any permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer(s) can be found here
Beta: kitty-alex
Warnings/Squicks: HET SEX!
Summary: Xander undergoes a change, a change he likes, a change that sheds light on some of his quirks, then Spike steps in and things get... well...
Written for spring_with_xan 2009
NOTE: Chapter 6 is pure SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!
AN1: This takes place post-series for BtVS, and presumably goes off canon during AtS S5, comics????? *sticks fingers in ears* LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
AN2: Mys is going way outside her comfort zone with this, so positive reinforcement is her friend, lol.
AN3: The Mys wants to send huge hugs to her Precious Bumbly Bee (bmblbee) for listening to me babble about this bunny and encouraging me not to run it over with a semi, but buy it a hutch. *HUGS*
And to her Xandra (kitty_alex) for putting up with my grumbling about this damn fic for MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!
*********Chapter 1*********
“Are you sure this is the right gate?”
Rolling her eyes in mock annoyance, “It’s a private jet, Buffy, kinda hard to get wrong,” Dawn chided her sister.
The blonde Slayer folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently, “Then where is he?”
The younger Summers’ chuckling at her sister turned to a squeal of glee as a familiar bleached head and black leather duster came into view.
The vamp didn’t have time to blink before he was barrelled into by the full force of both Summers women.
“Missed you,” Dawn declared, almost teary-eyed.
Her words were joined by Buffy’s own, sincere, “Welcome home, Spike.”
For the next few minutes, the trio simply held each other, enjoying the security and comfort so freely given and received.
As they pulled apart the blonde finally spoke, “Well, that was ‘bout sappy enough to last another century or so.”
Both girls swatted the snarking vamp.
“Just you wait, the others are waiting back at the Council- you think this was bad.”
“Yeah,” Buffy smiled wickedly, “wait ‘til you get hit by gale force Willow.”
Spike rolled his expressive eyes hoping to hide how thrilled he was to be back with the Scoobies- to be home.
---
Buffy smoothly guided the car onto a small, well-kept private drive. “Almost home.”
“Good thing, think the Bit’s about done for.”
“Am not,” Dawn countered sleepily, snuggling against her vamp’s shoulder. “Besides getting your family back takes a lot out of a girl.”
Spike smirked and slid his arm around the girl allowing her to doze on his chest.
Absently, he watched the scenery roll by, letting his thoughts drift. With decided predictability his thoughts wandered to the one person he most desired and dreaded seeing- Xander Harris. He’d missed the dark Scooby, missed their snark, his laughter, the surprising companionship they’d developed despite everything. But Spike knew that as much as he longed to see Xander, the young man would not be as pleased to see him. He only hoped Xander wouldn’t hide his anger over the vampire returning and not Anya- it was one thing to deal with a Xander who was raging outright and quite another to deal with a Xander in denial. At least if he was angry and raging, he was dealing and maybe, even if it wasn’t the relationship the vamp wanted with the young mortal, they could save their friendship.
The soft click of the key turning in the ignition broke through Spike’s reverie.
“Home sweet home,” Buffy called to her passengers.
Dawn bounced to attention with newfound energy, practically dragging the blonde vamp from the car..
As they entered the foyer of the Council’s estate house, Spike was taken by the warmth of the place. These buildings often felt more like shrines than homes, but this one was different. Maybe it was the well-worn carpets or the faded and threadbare chairs and settees covered by throws that were obviously as much for function as decoration. Maybe it was the photographs of smiling, laughing friends on the walls where one would expect to find stuffy ‘art’ paintings. But maybe, just maybe it was because the Scoobies were a true family- their combined strength, love, and devotion to each other having seen them through more than a few apocolyae.
The second thing Spike noticed was Xander, or rather, his scent- cinnamon, and sunshine, and Christmas with his mum, when life was simple and women and love were nothing more than specs on a distant horizon.
The vampire mentally smacked himself for waxing poetic and focused on locating the source of the scent. Xander was nowhere to be seen, but that wonderful and exciting aroma was too strong to merely be latent. He was about to ask about the boy, when he saw her. Dark and lovely with the elegance and confidence that accompanied the call of a Slayer, she was beautiful- she also reeked of his boy.
Spike felt the growl rising in his chest and tried to force it away. There was no reason for him to think Xander hadn’t moved on, no reason to hope he- the Evil Undead- would have had a chance with someone as pure as the young man. At least with a Slayer he knew his boy would be safe.
The vamp had almost completely calmed down when a shrieking streak of red ploughed into him, squeezing him with more strength then he remembered the small witch having. “Hey, Red,” he laughed once he could get air into his lungs again- he may not need to breath but air did help with the whole speaking thing.
“Don’t you ‘Hey, Red’ me, mister!” Willow’s pale fist slammed the vamp’s shoulder. “You… You didn’t tell us!” She threw her arms around the blonde’s neck a bizarre counterpoint to her words and previous actions.
“’m sorry, Red. Truly… ‘s not the sorta thing you can just show up on the doorstep or pick up the phone for, yeah.”
From the corner of his eye, Spike caught the glint of an eerily familiar smile. He looked up to see the striking dark Slayer smiling brightly at him, her deep chocolate eyes carrying the sparkle of true happiness.
As Willow moved back from their embrace, she followed the vamp’s gaze.
The three women watched in fascination as Slayer and vamp seemingly called to the other.
Buffy leaned towards Willow, “Gods, did Angel and I look like that?”
“No,” the redhead squeaked. “This is much more intense.”
The blonde Slayer gaped at her best-friend, who returned the look with an apologetic smile and a shrug of her shoulders.
Spike felt trapped, the gorgeous woman who obviously belonged to his boy was stalking towards him, arm outstretched, luscious pink lips forming a word- the vampire’s name.
“Spike,” her voice was warm, soft, and captivating, like summer honey. The touch of her hand to his cheek was as searing and powerful as the sun.
Spike couldn’t move, the dark woman had him thoroughly enchanted.
“I’ve wanted to do this for ages.” Lips, soft and silky, full of passion pressed to the vamp’s, gently caressing the cool flesh. “Welcome home, Fang Face.”
“Harris?” The blonde’s voice cracked over the simple word. Attempting to shake off his shock, Spike found himself growling, “What in the HELLS is going on?!?”
*********Chapter 2*********
Spike leaned into the overstuffed armchair in Giles’ study, lips still tingling from where Xander had kissed him. Almost a century and a half old and the gentle press of lips from the person he longed for had him stunned. To be fair, the situation was complicated by the fact that the young man in question currently wasn’t.
Smokey amber liquid clouded the vampire’s vision and words slowly drifted through the fog of his brain.
“You may need a few of these. Lord knows I did.”
The blonde mechanically took the tumbles of Scotch from his fellow Brit.
Freed of his burden, the former librarian settled into the matching chair across from Spike- half full decanter and glass at his side. “I gather the girls didn’t tell you.”
Spike shook his head, then seemed to notice the alcohol in his hand, gulping it down without further hesitation. When he spoke it was one simple word, “Xander.”
Giles sipped his own drink, “Yes, Xander.”
“A Slayer.”
“Quite,” the Watcher refilled the vampire’s glass and they sat in silence nursing their Scotch as Spike processed this bizarre turn.
It made sense, after a fashion. Xander had always been such a pure soul, standing up for what was right even when it could kill him. Add to that his loyalty and determination, and in a boy you got a White Knight, but in a young woman- a Slayer. The vamp chuckled inwardly, it could even explain why the boy was such a ‘demon magnet’, after all, demons could sense a Slayer and were drawn to power. If something in Xander’s make-up gave off ‘Slayer’ signals, even subliminally, then every demon in town would be drawn to him. It fit- it all fit. Spike’s boy was a Slayer. The blonde vamp smiled at the simplicity of it, then turned his once again focused eyes on the Watcher, “How?”
Giles sighed heavily, setting his drink aside, “We were attempting a new locator spell- and before you make any assumptions, it wasn’t Willow, she wasn’t even on the estate.” He squeezed his eyes tight and pinched the bridge of his nose, “It was supposed to ‘bring forth’ any unseen Slayer within a specified range.”
Spike wanted to slap the Watcher; even he could see the pitfall of that spell. “And it ‘brought forth’ Xan.”
The Watcher nodded grimly.
“Why haven’t you changed him back? Or you expect me to believe Red can’t do it?”
“No, no, Willow is quite certain she can reverse the effects.”
“So, what’s the hold up?”
Giles refilled his glass, giving his hands and body something to do other than polish his glasses. After another quick sip of liquid courage, “Xander won’t let us.”
---------
Willow had been pacing outside the door for a good twenty minutes before she finally stepped up and knocked.
“Go away!”
“Lexa, it’s just me.”
“Go away Wills, I really don’t wanna talk.”
“Xa- Lexa, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
The door swung open and Willow was faced with a puffy-eyed curvaceous six-foot tall Slayer in full rant, “Nothing wrong!?!?!?! I kissed him- Spike! No warning, no hello. I just kissed him. And did you see his reaction? Did you? So don’t tell me I didn’t do anything wrong. It was about as wrong as you can get. Now, unless you brought mass quantities of chocolate Miss-Over-Stepping-Of-Boundaries here is going back to sulking. Girls can sulk, right- it’s not one of those taboo things I missed the class on is it?”
Willow tried not to giggle at her best-friend. “No,” she put on as serious a face as she could muster, as she led them over to sit on the slightly crumpled bed, “girls are allowed to sulk, though I think most of us prefer ‘wallowing’.” The redhead hugged her friend, “I think it’s ‘cause it sounds cuddlier.”
The dark Slayer laughed at that, then just as quickly her dark mood was back, “You think he’ll ever forgive me?”
“Who says there’s anything to forgive?” The vampire’s silken voice rolled from the open doorway, “S’prised me ‘s all.”
On the bed, Xander gulped and prayed that blushing really did look more attractive on girls.
“Give us a mo’ would ya, Red?”
Willow smiled; kissed Xander’s flushed cheek and stood to leave.
“Thanks Red,” Spike murmured as the witch passed him.
Suddenly Xander felt very exposed, almost like his old self-conscious, doughnut-toting self, and before he knew it the words were tumbling out- Xander-babble at its finest. “I’m sorry Spike, really. I didn’t mean anything by it. Well, actually I did. I mean, I wanted to. I just don’t know why I did it. Is it some sort of Slayer thing? My brain, it just goes all want-take-have and it’s you. And I never thought I’d get a chance to do that. By the time I realized I even wanted to, Sunnydale was gone and you were at the bottom of it.” Xander felt tears stinging his eyes and a stray tear escape. “But now you’re here, and, oh gods, say something, shut me up please!” His tears were flowing freely now, his hands clasping and unclasping the bedding.
The bed dipped and strong arms pulled him close.
“You know, when I popped up in Batvamp’s office, all I wanted was to get back to the Slayer. And when I realized I couldn’t leave, I replayed every moment that we were together in my head. Every fight, every fuck, every talk, every bloody Scooby meeting, that last night just holding her.”
“If this is your idea,” Xander choked back a sob, “of cheering me up, it’s not working.”
The vamp pulled the dark head to his chest, “Just listen, pet. I replayed all of that and all I felt was numb. Hells, Xan, I needed to feel. I was nothing, couldn’t touch, couldn’t taste, couldn’t be, and even after dying the way I did, I was getting sucked into some form of Hell. Towards the end there it was harder and harder to hold on, stay here. Needed a reason to fight and didn’t have one. Was ready to let go, let that place take me and I thought ‘Harris would love this; make some snarky offhand remark about me bein’ a fangless coward.’ That thought saved me, Xander- you saved me.”
Sniffling, “How?”
“Had to prove you wrong, didn’t I?” The vamp smirked at the young Slayer. “After that, when things got bad, thought about you. The barbs, the fights, playing pool, all of it. …and I felt.” Spike chuckled at the memories. “When I got solid, I knew what I wanted, just didn’t know how to get it. Didn’t think I could get it.”
A cool droplet fell onto Xander’s cheek; he looked up into tear-filled crystal eyes- the shimmering liquid making the blue depths that much more reminiscent of clear ocean pools. “That’s why you stayed away so long.”
The blonde nodded, looking away from the beautiful brown eyes that saw too much. “Finally decided I could settle for friendship- jus’ hoped you’d give me a chance to have it.”
“Spike,” Xander gasped through his tears, “you can be such an idiot.”
“Yeah, that I can, pet.” Spike pushed the dark hair from Xander’s forehead and kissed him.
Snuggling into the vamp’s shoulder, Xander let himself relax as Spike gently rocked them back and forth.
The two simply enjoyed each other’s presence for a while.
Then, sniffling, Xander said, “Gods, I’m such a girl.”
Spike laughed deep in his chest at the offhand remark, leading Xander to his own groaning giggle as he realized what he’d said. “Might be, luv, but you’re a buxom and beautiful girl.”
Title: Heart of a Slayer
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC17
Feedback: Mys has decided that she actually likes FB, so… constructive crit is fine, just be prepared for Mys to defend/explain her choices, and try not to do any permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer(s) can be found here
Beta: kitty-alex
Warnings/Squicks: HET SEX!
Summary: Xander undergoes a change, a change he likes, a change that sheds light on some of his quirks, then Spike steps in and things get... well...
Written for spring_with_xan 2009
NOTE: Chapter 6 is pure SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!
AN1: This takes place post-series for BtVS, and presumably goes off canon during AtS S5, comics????? *sticks fingers in ears* LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
AN2: Mys is going way outside her comfort zone with this, so positive reinforcement is her friend, lol.
AN3: The Mys wants to send huge hugs to her Precious Bumbly Bee (bmblbee) for listening to me babble about this bunny and encouraging me not to run it over with a semi, but buy it a hutch. *HUGS*
And to her Xandra (kitty_alex) for putting up with my grumbling about this damn fic for MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!
*********Chapter 1*********
“Are you sure this is the right gate?”
Rolling her eyes in mock annoyance, “It’s a private jet, Buffy, kinda hard to get wrong,” Dawn chided her sister.
The blonde Slayer folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently, “Then where is he?”
The younger Summers’ chuckling at her sister turned to a squeal of glee as a familiar bleached head and black leather duster came into view.
The vamp didn’t have time to blink before he was barrelled into by the full force of both Summers women.
“Missed you,” Dawn declared, almost teary-eyed.
Her words were joined by Buffy’s own, sincere, “Welcome home, Spike.”
For the next few minutes, the trio simply held each other, enjoying the security and comfort so freely given and received.
As they pulled apart the blonde finally spoke, “Well, that was ‘bout sappy enough to last another century or so.”
Both girls swatted the snarking vamp.
“Just you wait, the others are waiting back at the Council- you think this was bad.”
“Yeah,” Buffy smiled wickedly, “wait ‘til you get hit by gale force Willow.”
Spike rolled his expressive eyes hoping to hide how thrilled he was to be back with the Scoobies- to be home.
---
Buffy smoothly guided the car onto a small, well-kept private drive. “Almost home.”
“Good thing, think the Bit’s about done for.”
“Am not,” Dawn countered sleepily, snuggling against her vamp’s shoulder. “Besides getting your family back takes a lot out of a girl.”
Spike smirked and slid his arm around the girl allowing her to doze on his chest.
Absently, he watched the scenery roll by, letting his thoughts drift. With decided predictability his thoughts wandered to the one person he most desired and dreaded seeing- Xander Harris. He’d missed the dark Scooby, missed their snark, his laughter, the surprising companionship they’d developed despite everything. But Spike knew that as much as he longed to see Xander, the young man would not be as pleased to see him. He only hoped Xander wouldn’t hide his anger over the vampire returning and not Anya- it was one thing to deal with a Xander who was raging outright and quite another to deal with a Xander in denial. At least if he was angry and raging, he was dealing and maybe, even if it wasn’t the relationship the vamp wanted with the young mortal, they could save their friendship.
The soft click of the key turning in the ignition broke through Spike’s reverie.
“Home sweet home,” Buffy called to her passengers.
Dawn bounced to attention with newfound energy, practically dragging the blonde vamp from the car..
As they entered the foyer of the Council’s estate house, Spike was taken by the warmth of the place. These buildings often felt more like shrines than homes, but this one was different. Maybe it was the well-worn carpets or the faded and threadbare chairs and settees covered by throws that were obviously as much for function as decoration. Maybe it was the photographs of smiling, laughing friends on the walls where one would expect to find stuffy ‘art’ paintings. But maybe, just maybe it was because the Scoobies were a true family- their combined strength, love, and devotion to each other having seen them through more than a few apocolyae.
The second thing Spike noticed was Xander, or rather, his scent- cinnamon, and sunshine, and Christmas with his mum, when life was simple and women and love were nothing more than specs on a distant horizon.
The vampire mentally smacked himself for waxing poetic and focused on locating the source of the scent. Xander was nowhere to be seen, but that wonderful and exciting aroma was too strong to merely be latent. He was about to ask about the boy, when he saw her. Dark and lovely with the elegance and confidence that accompanied the call of a Slayer, she was beautiful- she also reeked of his boy.
Spike felt the growl rising in his chest and tried to force it away. There was no reason for him to think Xander hadn’t moved on, no reason to hope he- the Evil Undead- would have had a chance with someone as pure as the young man. At least with a Slayer he knew his boy would be safe.
The vamp had almost completely calmed down when a shrieking streak of red ploughed into him, squeezing him with more strength then he remembered the small witch having. “Hey, Red,” he laughed once he could get air into his lungs again- he may not need to breath but air did help with the whole speaking thing.
“Don’t you ‘Hey, Red’ me, mister!” Willow’s pale fist slammed the vamp’s shoulder. “You… You didn’t tell us!” She threw her arms around the blonde’s neck a bizarre counterpoint to her words and previous actions.
“’m sorry, Red. Truly… ‘s not the sorta thing you can just show up on the doorstep or pick up the phone for, yeah.”
From the corner of his eye, Spike caught the glint of an eerily familiar smile. He looked up to see the striking dark Slayer smiling brightly at him, her deep chocolate eyes carrying the sparkle of true happiness.
As Willow moved back from their embrace, she followed the vamp’s gaze.
The three women watched in fascination as Slayer and vamp seemingly called to the other.
Buffy leaned towards Willow, “Gods, did Angel and I look like that?”
“No,” the redhead squeaked. “This is much more intense.”
The blonde Slayer gaped at her best-friend, who returned the look with an apologetic smile and a shrug of her shoulders.
Spike felt trapped, the gorgeous woman who obviously belonged to his boy was stalking towards him, arm outstretched, luscious pink lips forming a word- the vampire’s name.
“Spike,” her voice was warm, soft, and captivating, like summer honey. The touch of her hand to his cheek was as searing and powerful as the sun.
Spike couldn’t move, the dark woman had him thoroughly enchanted.
“I’ve wanted to do this for ages.” Lips, soft and silky, full of passion pressed to the vamp’s, gently caressing the cool flesh. “Welcome home, Fang Face.”
“Harris?” The blonde’s voice cracked over the simple word. Attempting to shake off his shock, Spike found himself growling, “What in the HELLS is going on?!?”
*********Chapter 2*********
Spike leaned into the overstuffed armchair in Giles’ study, lips still tingling from where Xander had kissed him. Almost a century and a half old and the gentle press of lips from the person he longed for had him stunned. To be fair, the situation was complicated by the fact that the young man in question currently wasn’t.
Smokey amber liquid clouded the vampire’s vision and words slowly drifted through the fog of his brain.
“You may need a few of these. Lord knows I did.”
The blonde mechanically took the tumbles of Scotch from his fellow Brit.
Freed of his burden, the former librarian settled into the matching chair across from Spike- half full decanter and glass at his side. “I gather the girls didn’t tell you.”
Spike shook his head, then seemed to notice the alcohol in his hand, gulping it down without further hesitation. When he spoke it was one simple word, “Xander.”
Giles sipped his own drink, “Yes, Xander.”
“A Slayer.”
“Quite,” the Watcher refilled the vampire’s glass and they sat in silence nursing their Scotch as Spike processed this bizarre turn.
It made sense, after a fashion. Xander had always been such a pure soul, standing up for what was right even when it could kill him. Add to that his loyalty and determination, and in a boy you got a White Knight, but in a young woman- a Slayer. The vamp chuckled inwardly, it could even explain why the boy was such a ‘demon magnet’, after all, demons could sense a Slayer and were drawn to power. If something in Xander’s make-up gave off ‘Slayer’ signals, even subliminally, then every demon in town would be drawn to him. It fit- it all fit. Spike’s boy was a Slayer. The blonde vamp smiled at the simplicity of it, then turned his once again focused eyes on the Watcher, “How?”
Giles sighed heavily, setting his drink aside, “We were attempting a new locator spell- and before you make any assumptions, it wasn’t Willow, she wasn’t even on the estate.” He squeezed his eyes tight and pinched the bridge of his nose, “It was supposed to ‘bring forth’ any unseen Slayer within a specified range.”
Spike wanted to slap the Watcher; even he could see the pitfall of that spell. “And it ‘brought forth’ Xan.”
The Watcher nodded grimly.
“Why haven’t you changed him back? Or you expect me to believe Red can’t do it?”
“No, no, Willow is quite certain she can reverse the effects.”
“So, what’s the hold up?”
Giles refilled his glass, giving his hands and body something to do other than polish his glasses. After another quick sip of liquid courage, “Xander won’t let us.”
---------
Willow had been pacing outside the door for a good twenty minutes before she finally stepped up and knocked.
“Go away!”
“Lexa, it’s just me.”
“Go away Wills, I really don’t wanna talk.”
“Xa- Lexa, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
The door swung open and Willow was faced with a puffy-eyed curvaceous six-foot tall Slayer in full rant, “Nothing wrong!?!?!?! I kissed him- Spike! No warning, no hello. I just kissed him. And did you see his reaction? Did you? So don’t tell me I didn’t do anything wrong. It was about as wrong as you can get. Now, unless you brought mass quantities of chocolate Miss-Over-Stepping-Of-Boundaries here is going back to sulking. Girls can sulk, right- it’s not one of those taboo things I missed the class on is it?”
Willow tried not to giggle at her best-friend. “No,” she put on as serious a face as she could muster, as she led them over to sit on the slightly crumpled bed, “girls are allowed to sulk, though I think most of us prefer ‘wallowing’.” The redhead hugged her friend, “I think it’s ‘cause it sounds cuddlier.”
The dark Slayer laughed at that, then just as quickly her dark mood was back, “You think he’ll ever forgive me?”
“Who says there’s anything to forgive?” The vampire’s silken voice rolled from the open doorway, “S’prised me ‘s all.”
On the bed, Xander gulped and prayed that blushing really did look more attractive on girls.
“Give us a mo’ would ya, Red?”
Willow smiled; kissed Xander’s flushed cheek and stood to leave.
“Thanks Red,” Spike murmured as the witch passed him.
Suddenly Xander felt very exposed, almost like his old self-conscious, doughnut-toting self, and before he knew it the words were tumbling out- Xander-babble at its finest. “I’m sorry Spike, really. I didn’t mean anything by it. Well, actually I did. I mean, I wanted to. I just don’t know why I did it. Is it some sort of Slayer thing? My brain, it just goes all want-take-have and it’s you. And I never thought I’d get a chance to do that. By the time I realized I even wanted to, Sunnydale was gone and you were at the bottom of it.” Xander felt tears stinging his eyes and a stray tear escape. “But now you’re here, and, oh gods, say something, shut me up please!” His tears were flowing freely now, his hands clasping and unclasping the bedding.
The bed dipped and strong arms pulled him close.
“You know, when I popped up in Batvamp’s office, all I wanted was to get back to the Slayer. And when I realized I couldn’t leave, I replayed every moment that we were together in my head. Every fight, every fuck, every talk, every bloody Scooby meeting, that last night just holding her.”
“If this is your idea,” Xander choked back a sob, “of cheering me up, it’s not working.”
The vamp pulled the dark head to his chest, “Just listen, pet. I replayed all of that and all I felt was numb. Hells, Xan, I needed to feel. I was nothing, couldn’t touch, couldn’t taste, couldn’t be, and even after dying the way I did, I was getting sucked into some form of Hell. Towards the end there it was harder and harder to hold on, stay here. Needed a reason to fight and didn’t have one. Was ready to let go, let that place take me and I thought ‘Harris would love this; make some snarky offhand remark about me bein’ a fangless coward.’ That thought saved me, Xander- you saved me.”
Sniffling, “How?”
“Had to prove you wrong, didn’t I?” The vamp smirked at the young Slayer. “After that, when things got bad, thought about you. The barbs, the fights, playing pool, all of it. …and I felt.” Spike chuckled at the memories. “When I got solid, I knew what I wanted, just didn’t know how to get it. Didn’t think I could get it.”
A cool droplet fell onto Xander’s cheek; he looked up into tear-filled crystal eyes- the shimmering liquid making the blue depths that much more reminiscent of clear ocean pools. “That’s why you stayed away so long.”
The blonde nodded, looking away from the beautiful brown eyes that saw too much. “Finally decided I could settle for friendship- jus’ hoped you’d give me a chance to have it.”
“Spike,” Xander gasped through his tears, “you can be such an idiot.”
“Yeah, that I can, pet.” Spike pushed the dark hair from Xander’s forehead and kissed him.
Snuggling into the vamp’s shoulder, Xander let himself relax as Spike gently rocked them back and forth.
The two simply enjoyed each other’s presence for a while.
Then, sniffling, Xander said, “Gods, I’m such a girl.”
Spike laughed deep in his chest at the offhand remark, leading Xander to his own groaning giggle as he realized what he’d said. “Might be, luv, but you’re a buxom and beautiful girl.”