(no subject)
When i was in high school (ugg i hate that i make it sound like it soooo long ago) my english teacher, art teaher, insiration, one of the few things that made school worth going to, person who made me love writing and readign and learning and life put up a peice of paper for students to whine on. I, the pro whiner, surprisingly has nothing to say. The only thing i could do, riddle everyone who took the time to stop writing "trite" qoutes and lyrics and write something eerily (for me) hopeful. 86,400. for anyone who wants to know, its the amount of seconds in one day, its that amount chances a person gets everyday "for something unexpectantly beautiful to happen". Another great enlgish teacher told us that. He was convincing us to not commit suicide and hold on, to "Wait". Wait for "the flute of your whole existence,/rehearsed by the sorrows,/ play itself into total exhaustion." (We were a group of AP nerds who cared way too stressed over college acceptance-he was trying to avoid a tragedy).86,400 it became my favorite number and on some days it was my mantra, the one thing that kept me sane (or at least kpet from creating some tragic car accident that would allow me an excused absence.) But as is typical with me, the moment of blind hope subsided. And 86,400 was just the amount of turns my day could take. It was up to me to make them beautiful, but the potential for beauty was there. Well when i was in high school i looked for wisdom and guidence in music- taking back sunday, something corporate and even the occasional Blink 182 - i too fell in love at the rock show, and i had no purpose or direction. and this paper was both my form of release and service, i hoped that the words of someone else that i copied down would somehow help some through the misery that is high school.
But now those words no longer soothe, and that peice of paper doesn't really exist anymore. so now when the world is agaisnt me, and i am lonely and i feel like no one cares, i might call up a friend. i now look for guidence at the bottom of a loreal bottle (B51) and hope that my new do will bring out a new person in me. I hope that this new person will be able to deal with things better, and maybe she won't feel so lonely.
So basically this ramble is meant to signify the death of black/brown/red/blonde/white haired tania, and the birth of brownish (B51) tania.
i dyed my hair.
But now those words no longer soothe, and that peice of paper doesn't really exist anymore. so now when the world is agaisnt me, and i am lonely and i feel like no one cares, i might call up a friend. i now look for guidence at the bottom of a loreal bottle (B51) and hope that my new do will bring out a new person in me. I hope that this new person will be able to deal with things better, and maybe she won't feel so lonely.
So basically this ramble is meant to signify the death of black/brown/red/blonde/white haired tania, and the birth of brownish (B51) tania.
i dyed my hair.